Did you end gift exchanges at Christmas?

[Unionville]

I got down to one gift exchange with an elderly relative (who needs it).  Otherwise, this is the first year I ended the ritual of buying and receiving needless gifts at Christmas. This was the best Christmas gift for me.   I just jumped in and made the leap and said "I stopped doing gift exchanges".  The most common reaction I've gotten is "I'd like to do that too. How did you do that?"

[Cassie]

In 2008 during the recession when many of us had our wages cut we all decided to no longer exchange with friends. Instead we just got together for a pot luck and that has really stuck. In regard to family the gift giving ended as people aged and died.  My hubby and I quit years ago to because if we want something we get it. We also would rather spend our $ having experiences versus things. 

[La Bibliotecaria Feroz]

I enjoy a modest level of gift exchange. I do not exchange presents with my sibs, but do send something to my mom and dad from Christmas lists that they prepare. Mr. FP and I fill stockings for each other and sometimes he buys me a present. He tends to have already bought something if he really wants it, but there tend to be a lot of things I am mulling. (This year, for instance, he bought me a kitchen scale.)

We also did a Christmas Eve book exchange, a la Finland, with each other and a friend who was visiting. Mr. FP bought all the books--including his own :-). For our two tots, we just felt some of the wrapped packages they had received from other relatives until we found two that felt like books, and that was what they got to open Christmas Eve!

[risky4me]

We stopped the general gift giving except for the kids. Our emphasis is on getting together and visiting not filling retailers pockets. We do a voluntary 'white elephant' or 'Chinese auction' where each brings a inexpensive or gag gift and you take turns 'stealing' until all have their final gift- this gets all who wish to be included a way to socialize and is usually fun.
I hated it when I knew young folks, who couldn't afford it, would go out and spend money on gifts because they felt they were obligated to by the 'tradition'.

[reader2580]

I am not married and have no kids so I stopped doing gift exchanges at least five years ago.  I didn't like people spending money on stuff I didn't even want and they gave only out of obligation.  I started giving lists of very specific items they could buy me, but I finally decided the whole thing was silly since I could just as well buy the items myself when I wanted/needed them.  It isn't like I am kid who doesn't have the money to buy the stuff I want.

My nieces and nephews get so many gifts from so many people that I stopped giving them gifts altogether.  They have more toys and stuff than they could ever play with.  They might get four or five gifts each from Santa and Mom and Dad and then ten more gifts from the grandparents and aunts and uncles.

[gReed Smith]

I like doing $10-20 gift exchanges with my parents, siblings and wife.  Unfortunately, we generally spend much more than that.

[I'm a red panda]

Only for kids, our parents and grandmother.
No gifts among adults. My sister isn't a fan but she finally agreed.

[Frankies Girl]

Stopped a few years back. We have no kids and very few extended family, and the family we do have don't need anything from us (wallowing in excess). Husband and I don't need presents and it have become difficult to even come up with things to put on a list for us to buy for each other, and finally just called off the whole thing since it was really just a hassle more than anything. And I am sick of cleaning out junk from present-giving events that we felt obligated to keep.

[mxt0133]

I gradually started cutting back on gifts starting with birthdays and then Christmas other than the occasional wine, beer, or food gifts.  My wife still like to send token gifts to our nieces and nephews but nothing extravagant.  Unless it is something I feel that they would truly enjoy or a very special occasion ,like my brother's 40th birthday I sent him $50 to see new Star Wars movie.

I really enjoy getting people gifts that I think 'they' would really like or appreciate, but then I noticed that pressured them to reciprocate.  So I stopped regularly giving gifts and I occasionally give from time to time.  Because they are not accustomed to me giving them presents, when I do get them something they don't have time to go out and get me anything.

[Elle 8]

I've really cut back on Christmas gift exchanges.  We used to do a sibling grab (10 people including spouses), but stopped that about 10 years ago.  I used to give money ($30 X 7 so $210) to the nieces/nephews instead of a gift because they already got so much stuff.  Then about 5 years ago we decided to do a grab for the nieces/nephews instead, with a $100 limit where each couple gets one or two kids to buy for.

At work I announced last year that I was not exchanging gifts.  The others still gave me something, which makes me a little uncomfortable but I did tell them in advance so I don't feel too bad.  I again did not get them anything this year and they still got me something.  This is a group of four.  I feel a little grinchy about this, so I don't know what I'll do next year.

Then I have my daughter and my SO's daughter, my father, and my SO's sister.  That's it.  My SO and I just exchange small things for each other, not any pressure to find the perfect gift.

[HappyMargo]

Stopped a few years back. We have no kids and very few extended family, and the family we do have don't need anything from us (wallowing in excess). Husband and I don't need presents and it have become difficult to even come up with things to put on a list for us to buy for each other, and finally just called off the whole thing since it was really just a hassle more than anything. And I am sick of cleaning out junk from present-giving events that we felt obligated to keep.

Word for word, agreed.  Couldn't have said it better myself!

We completely stopped the gift insanity several years ago.  Such a relief.  Now it is about spending time together, sharing a festive home-cooked meal, playing cards, laughing & telling stories.  Much better!

Only one still refusing to give up is my Mom. No matter how many times we ask/ tell/ plead for her to NOT get us anything, she continues. Gifts for the whole huge family. 

(She simply cannot afford it.  Sadly, Mom's terrible with money.  No amount of discussion or explanation slows her spending.  We know full well she's going to blow thru her $ and probably end up living with us. Sigh.)

[Travis]

My father, sister, and her kids all got gift cards.  I wasn't expecting anything, but my father gave my wife and I quite a bit of cash.  I didn't get anything from my sister, but she gave my 5-year old a number of small gifts.  My wife and her family are still big on exchanging actual gifts.  They don't spend a lot, but they still get each other physical items.  Sometimes this causes me some grief because on occasion she experiences "gift creep" and finds one more person who she thinks she needs to buy a gift for.  If I can't stop all the gift exchanges, I can make them more predictable.  On my side of the family the gift exchanges generally stop once we're all adults.  I might continue with the checks/gift cards for my sister's kids since they just turned 18 and started college, but otherwise I'll cut them off in a couple years.  The gift card for dad was a thank you for letting us sleep there for the week and borrow his car.  The elderly ladies in the family all get the same small food/snack gift.  Gifts from my mother in law to me have predictably turned into Great Courses discs and some clothes.  It took her several years of trying, but she now has a good eye for what I wear and the majority of my wardrobe came from her.  My wife and I stopped exchanging gifts a couple years ago, and the gift we received from her company's white elephant party is going on Craigslist tomorrow.  This year our costs went up a bit due to more friends having kids.  I love my friends, but we're all now at kid-raising age and it's getting more expensive.

[La Bibliotecaria Feroz]

At work I announced last year that I was not exchanging gifts.  The others still gave me something, which makes me a little uncomfortable but I did tell them in advance so I don't feel too bad.  I again did not get them anything this year and they still got me something.  This is a group of four.  I feel a little grinchy about this, so I don't know what I'll do next year.

Does your workplace like eating? Could you bring in a festive batch of Christmas cookies just to show that you're in the Christmas spirit and all? That would go over well at my work :-).

[pachnik]

At work I announced last year that I was not exchanging gifts.  The others still gave me something, which makes me a little uncomfortable but I did tell them in advance so I don't feel too bad.  I again did not get them anything this year and they still got me something.  This is a group of four.  I feel a little grinchy about this, so I don't know what I'll do next year.

Does your workplace like eating? Could you bring in a festive batch of Christmas cookies just to show that you're in the Christmas spirit and all? That would go over well at my work :-).

At my old job, I baked up some oatmeal cookies and brought a big batch in to the office a few days before Christmas.  Then I put them in the lunch room which was centrally located with a little card from me saying "Merry Christmas".   Went over well. 

[NV Teacher]

We ended sibling gift exchanges a number of years ago and I'm so glad we did.  This year for work friends I gave a jar of homemade raspberry jam.  I'm taking the nieces and nephews to the pool, to a matinee movie, and lunch at the local mom and pop café while we are all out of school.  For my mom, I went in with two of my brothers and we paid for her weekly hair appointment for the next six months.  She has terrible arthritis in her shoulders and she can't reach up high enough to do her hair.  All together I'll have spent about $250.  I'm happy.

[dude]

Stopped exchanging with the sibs a couple years back, now do kids only; I don't have any, nor does my sister, but two brothers do.  I give each of the 4 nieces/nephews $100 each.  We exchange at work, but only $20-$25 each (there's 4 of us in my office).  DW and I usually go on a vacation right around Christmas, so we limit our gift exchange to $50 -- though we both failed on that account this year.  Oh well.

[StetsTerhune]

I've never exchanged gifts with my wife. We both agree it's the best decision we ever made.

I do still exchange gifts with my siblings, but it's usually either a contest of who can give either the most amusingly unexpected gift or something to do together. Some years I spend $5, some years I spend $500, but there's really no obligation either way.

My parents are the only ones I'm still obligated to get a "real" gift for. Which I can live with.

[ckosh]

I thought I had worked it out with my sister that we would cap gift $ amount to $25 each for us and our husbands.  So we got them gifts in this price range.  But they ended up getting us _a lot_ more so I feel pretty bad.  My sister says not to worry about it since her husband is really into Christmas and wanted to get us the extra gifts but now I'm feeling pressure about what to get her husband for his birthday present in January and also thinking ahead to next Christmas. 

[Scubanewbie]

Man, I was HAPPY to go to gift exchanges for my ILs.  We used to give a gift of $50 to EACH PERSON and now we talked them into exchanging names.  This represents a significant win and I know it's still not mustachian but I'm letting it be for a number of years before we try to whittle down any further.  I like it so much more shopping for two people (DH and my names that we drew) than 7 people.  And...hidden but very important bonus, because each person is getting one gift then it's sooo much easier to think of something rather than fighting with everyone else in the family because we all bought MIL the same thing (she also has a Dec birthday, yes, we all still buy for her so we're talking 12 gifts in 2 weeks that we've got to think of).

Anyways, I'm still celebrating the win!  My sinking fund for gifts is still pretty full after Christmas and I think I can lower it for 2016, yay!

[jms493]

We ended adult gift giving...for kids only.

Us as a couple spend $200 and buy a bunch of toys for sick kids in hospitals.  Its the one time of year not to be selfish.  We have more that we could ever need/want and more.  Xmas gifts are for young kids.

When my girls are old enough they will learn to give to the less fortunate as well.  My daughters are 2 and 2 months...they already have too much shit.

[TheAnonOne]

We don't give to adult family, or friends (or work folks)

My wife and I generally give each other a few things that we've needed over the year but 'saved' for X-mas

We also give a few gifts to some kids in the family.

[Money Mouse]

No, but given the number of people we buy for, our budget of $500 for Xmas gifts seems pretty reasonable. DD only gets toys at Xmas and for her birthday so we spend a good amount on her ($100), everyone else is limited to $25 per person.

[I'm a red panda]

I've never exchanged gifts with my wife. We both agree it's the best decision we ever made.

I'm thinking our 3-bag laundry hamper might be the best decision, but not exchanging gifts for any occasion is certainly up there as the best decision my husband and I have made.

[ABC123]

I couldn't end it completely, but I did cut down.  When my siblings started having kids, we used to all buy gifts for all the kids.  We now have a bunch of kids in the family, so a couple years ago I suggested having the kids draw names.  So now each kid buys for one other kid.  It's great.  I also have a group of friends that I get together with at Christmas each year.  Not sure why they wanted to start buying for all the kids, but once one did the rest of us kind of had to go along.  So again, I suggested drawing names.  Much cheaper and less stressful.

[JZinCO]

A smattering of thoughts..

I was lamenting to my coworker that young adults past college (25-35) feel obligated/'want' to give each person they know a gift. The young adults were trained this way because as children, they receive gifts from everyone. After many kiddos are born and families grow, the gift giving gets to be a huge hassle. There seems to be a lag time until those young adults realize that only kids should receive gifts. Maybe I'm complaining because I'm in that young adult stage.

I'm so glad there was no pressure to give gifts at my extended family christmas party. Growing up all the adults gave presents to the children. Now with 16 aunts/uncles, 20 cousins and 8 second cousins, there would be no way to buy each person a present. Even the 'chinese christmas' game, which had cut down on gift giving, was abandoned.

For my immediate family and the girlfriend's family however, I still give one gift of charity each and either one ~$5 gift or one handmade gift.

[TheNick]

I am not married and have no kids so I stopped doing gift exchanges at least five years ago.  I didn't like people spending money on stuff I didn't even want and they gave only out of obligation.  I started giving lists of very specific items they could buy me, but I finally decided the whole thing was silly since I could just as well buy the items myself when I wanted/needed them.  It isn't like I am kid who doesn't have the money to buy the stuff I want.

Right on man!  I'll pick up something for my grandparents and parents, but its because I want to.  I hate the whole idea of swapping gifts just for hahas...you just end up exchanging junk neither one of you wanted with other people, or most people these days are lazy and just do gift cards, in which case why not just hold on to your cash?  I just opt out now when we are drawing names or whatever...its less hassle as I do less shopping, and less wasted money on a gift someone will forget about by the end of the week anyhow.

[fiftyincher]

My wife and I don't exchange. There's a name exchange on both sides of the family yet ($50). I tried to say we don't need to do that but my parents refuse, they feel the need to buy me gifts. I used to make a decent list so it was somewhat fun for them but I'd get one or two small things and then a gift card. Well, the gift card would get used for windshield wipers, oil, softener salt, etc. This year I may have been a little mean but I told them no cash and no gift cards since I know damn well they wouldn't buy me wipers, oil and salt. I put one thing on the list and that's what they bought.

Kids - ughhh. I really hate the amount of gifts our kids get. It wouldn't be bad if it was one gift a month but it's soooo much all at once. So they play with 2 or 3 of their favorites and the rest are basically not used and will get donated eventually.

My wife likes to buy gifts for the 4 people she oversees. I personally don't like it since it's $50+ to each. Then they get her something. Why can't there just be no gifts?

I'd much rather just get together and have fun rather than it be about gift exchanges.

[YogiKitti]

We didn't breach the topic this year, but I want to stop gifts in future years. How did you word it without sounding like a grinch? Also, when did you bring it up?

[Daisy]

I tried to. Sent out a preemptive email a month ago before Christmas. Still got some gifts such as a selfie stick which I will never use.

I wasn't going to give any to adults but got inspired at the last minute to make the same edible gift for adult family members and a few friends.

Gave cash to niece and nephew teens and young adults. Didn't go shopping at all. :-)

[RetiredAt63]

I am now the older generation, so no presents to/from parents.  DD and I exchange gifts, she always gets me the same calendar (she knows I love it and look forward to it, and I get to enjoy it all year) and she gets something  that is sort of want/sort of need, varies each year.  My neighbour and I exchange small gifts, the rule is that it has to be handmade (usually by us).  I do holiday charity giving as well.  That's it.