Wow, thanks for all these great responses guys! I dropped off the forum for about a month, so I only just now read all of them. Just to give you an idea of my car situation, I drive a beater myself: a 2004 Toyota Corolla. (Toyotas have amazing endurance, don't they?) I bought it off my dad for $1500 back in 2015, and it's nearing a quarter-million miles. DIY'ing auto maintenance and biking for most summer errands has kept auto costs down over the years, but this insurance is a big pain in the butt. Maybe Mustachianism has spoiled me, making me unused to triple-digit dollar amounts.
In response to various other messages here without quoting them all: I do make quite a bit more up here than I did the other three states I've lived in. Robotics companies pocket big bucks from the auto industry, which explains the location. However, Texas mortgages are supremely cheap compared to Michigan's. No state taxes on income either, gas is way cheaper, roads and traffic system are far superior (Detroit, why do you still use timed lights!?)... I could go on.
Not to knock on Michigan. It's a beautiful state.