Dementia - want to read your stories and guidance

[FinallyFree]

Brainstorming here. My dad, with dementia, needs something to occupy himself. He was an engineer when he was younger.  Now he watches TV all day and does little else. It's more of a problem now because my mom, his normal caregiver, just got her second hip replacement 4 days ago (first hip in June, see post #69 above), and he's preoccupied with 'helping' her, and is mostly yelling and not helpful. He's early-mid stage dementia. He has no sense of time passing.

We're trying to think of 'projects' for him to do (my brothers are out with my parents now) to keep him occiupied. Any ideas for dementia-friendly 'jobs'? Online research has suggested fidget toys for people who like to tinker, but I'm not sure those will command his attention enough. He's been a fix-it guy, but often got frustrated with those projects years ago. So whatever it is, needs to be simple and easy.

Maybe something like this "snap" circuit builder toy?  https://www.amazon.com/Snap-Circuits-SC-100-Electronics-Exploration/dp/B00008BFZH/

[Sibley]

As inspired by a random algo-provided video on social media, paperwork. Sorting, shredding, tearing up, etc. Hey dad, we're really behind on the paperwork, can you help out? Tailor the task to current ability level. Obviously, it's not real paperwork, but it'll keep him busy.

[jrhampt]

As inspired by a random algo-provided video on social media, paperwork. Sorting, shredding, tearing up, etc. Hey dad, we're really behind on the paperwork, can you help out? Tailor the task to current ability level. Obviously, it's not real paperwork, but it'll keep him busy.

We keep a jigsaw puzzle out for my dad to work on during the holidays. 

[Spiffy]

I recently sold a bunch of Lego sets on Facebook Marketplace. I sold them pretty cheap because I was just ready for them to be gone. I was worried that a reseller would buy them, but instead happily sold them to a man who was buying them for his 90-year-old mom! He said she loves to build Lego, and that it keeps her mind sharp. Probably not useful for dementia patients, but maybe for other older folks who like to keep busy.

[Catbert]

Brainstorming here. My dad, with dementia, needs something to occupy himself. He was an engineer when he was younger.  Now he watches TV all day and does little else. It's more of a problem now because my mom, his normal caregiver, just got her second hip replacement 4 days ago (first hip in June, see post #69 above), and he's preoccupied with 'helping' her, and is mostly yelling and not helpful. He's early-mid stage dementia. He has no sense of time passing.

We're trying to think of 'projects' for him to do (my brothers are out with my parents now) to keep him occiupied. Any ideas for dementia-friendly 'jobs'? Online research has suggested fidget toys for people who like to tinker, but I'm not sure those will command his attention enough. He's been a fix-it guy, but often got frustrated with those projects years ago. So whatever it is, needs to be simple and easy.

Maybe something like this "snap" circuit builder toy?  https://www.amazon.com/Snap-Circuits-SC-100-Electronics-Exploration/dp/B00008BFZH/

Thanks for the toy suggestion.  I ordered my DH.  If I remember I'll post whether he was interested and capable of doing it.  He was one of those kids who rode his bike to the electronics store to get parts.  It was all tubes back then.  He spent most of his working life as an Electronics Technician. 

[Just Joe]

If your Dad surprises you and needs more challenge - look at one of these vintage Radio Shack kits:

Search eBay for "radio shack project labs electronics set".

The original company that made these for Radio Shack was https://elenco.com/products/

[Frugal Lizard]

I just have to share this with more folks than my insufficiently impressed brother.

Today my previously difficult/cranky/mean mother was positively effusive about her retirement home situation. It is like living full time at a resort. AND this is the way to do old age. She set herself up well!

I am stunned. Maybe this is a new phase of dementia. Maybe she is now taking a personality altering substance.

[iluvzbeach]

I just have to share this with more folks than my insufficiently impressed brother.

Today my previously difficult/cranky/mean mother was positively effusive about her retirement home situation. It is like living full time at a resort. AND this is the way to do old age. She set herself up well!

I am stunned. Maybe this is a new phase of dementia. Maybe she is now taking a personality altering substance.

Sounds like a feat worth celebrating! Long live the positive personality phase of dementia!

[FinallyFree]

I just have to share this with more folks than my insufficiently impressed brother.

Today my previously difficult/cranky/mean mother was positively effusive about her retirement home situation. It is like living full time at a resort. AND this is the way to do old age. She set herself up well!

I am stunned. Maybe this is a new phase of dementia. Maybe she is now taking a personality altering substance.

Years ago, my mother said the same about her own mother who suffered from dementia.  I personally never saw a negative side to my grandmother, but previously she was supposedly a difficult person in some ways.  But as dementia took over, she became a sweet little mouse.

[FinallyFree]

Brainstorming here. My dad, with dementia, needs something to occupy himself. He was an engineer when he was younger.  Now he watches TV all day and does little else. It's more of a problem now because my mom, his normal caregiver, just got her second hip replacement 4 days ago (first hip in June, see post #69 above), and he's preoccupied with 'helping' her, and is mostly yelling and not helpful. He's early-mid stage dementia. He has no sense of time passing.

We're trying to think of 'projects' for him to do (my brothers are out with my parents now) to keep him occiupied. Any ideas for dementia-friendly 'jobs'? Online research has suggested fidget toys for people who like to tinker, but I'm not sure those will command his attention enough. He's been a fix-it guy, but often got frustrated with those projects years ago. So whatever it is, needs to be simple and easy.

Maybe something like this "snap" circuit builder toy?  https://www.amazon.com/Snap-Circuits-SC-100-Electronics-Exploration/dp/B00008BFZH/

Thanks for the toy suggestion.  I ordered my DH.  If I remember I'll post whether he was interested and capable of doing it.  He was one of those kids who rode his bike to the electronics store to get parts.  It was all tubes back then.  He spent most of his working life as an Electronics Technician.

I'd be interested to hear how he likes it.  :)

[jrhampt]

I just have to share this with more folks than my insufficiently impressed brother.

Today my previously difficult/cranky/mean mother was positively effusive about her retirement home situation. It is like living full time at a resort. AND this is the way to do old age. She set herself up well!

I am stunned. Maybe this is a new phase of dementia. Maybe she is now taking a personality altering substance.

Years ago, my mother said the same about her own mother who suffered from dementia.  I personally never saw a negative side to my grandmother, but previously she was supposedly a difficult person in some ways.  But as dementia took over, she became a sweet little mouse.

Haha.  Unfortunately the personality changes go both ways...we have one who's in the difficult phase and one who's in the easy phase.  It is interesting to observe, though.

[Just Joe]

I went to visit my mother yesterday for the first time since we took her there. Its been about 10 days. She's doing okay. Was tired. They adjusted her meds too to help her sleep more, wander less. Hard to say what was the meds and what was the fatigue. Maybe it will be more clear next week when I visit again.

I started wondering. I have ADHD that was dianosed in the 1970s as ADD. Parents did not choose meds or any sort of counseling. Even today my father has a negative opinion of meds. Their solution was an extra helping of discipline. Long story shorter - they could have made more strategic choices I think.

In my own recent self-study to better understand myself and the topic, I realized that this might account for the dysfunction and substance abuse in my mother's family.

In short, stimulants and depressants can function differently in some people with ADHD. She was never tested but she had similar inattentive symptoms to myself and my eldest who also has symptoms. 

When I first suggested to my father than she might have had symptoms and her parent+sibilings definitely fit the profile, he adamantly disagreed. He doesn't really understand the topic. I'll speak to my sibling and make my case there. Maybe her meds could be adjusted to account for this. The nurse said she is taking enough meds to relax a much larger person and yet she is restless and sleep is irregular. Same as when she lived at home.

If your loved one is not responding to traditional dementia meds well, maybe look into other health concerns that might reduce their efficacy.   

Heard the best little conversation from the room next to my mother's. Two ladies that have been there some time. One walked over to visit. They started chatting about their families and their past. So much positivity and joy. The conversation repeated about four times before the visitor decided she needed to go to the commons area. I imagine they could potentially have the same happy conversation each day. 

[monarda]

I'm so glad that these stories are being posted here.

Here's my story for the day:

My brother got a call today from our mother.
She needed him to redirect my dad because since last night, he was asking her for his parents' phone number because he wanted to invite them for dinner on Friday. He did not forget about it overnight and was fixated on it all day. When my brother talked to him this afternoon,  he tried to explain that my dad could not call his parents and told him that his father died in 1978 and his mother in 2002. He dutifully wrote down those dates, but still wanted to know their phone number.

Then he seemed to calm down and thanked my brother for the information. Our mom says that he has been saying that he has been talking to his mother frequently, and no one told him that she died.  He still never mentions his sister who is alive and lives an hour from them.



Any tips for redirecting in this situation?
Does this mean he's advanced to the next stage of his dementia?

[secondcor521]

I'm so glad that these stories are being posted here.

Here's my story for the day:

My brother got a call today from our mother.
She needed him to redirect my dad because since last night, he was asking her for his parents' phone number because he wanted to invite them for dinner on Friday. He did not forget about it overnight and was fixated on it all day. When my brother talked to him this afternoon,  he tried to explain that my dad could not call his parents and told him that his father died in 1978 and his mother in 2002. He dutifully wrote down those dates, but still wanted to know their phone number.

Then he seemed to calm down and thanked my brother for the information. Our mom says that he has been saying that he has been talking to his mother frequently, and no one told him that she died.  He still never mentions his sister who is alive and lives an hour from them.



Any tips for redirecting in this situation?
Does this mean he's advanced to the next stage of his dementia?

A lot of folks will suggest "fiblets" in this situation.  These same folks will recommend not correcting or arguing with the person with dementia.

If it were my Dad (88 with dementia and both parents also having passed) wanting to invite them, I might say something like, "Aw, Dad, that's awfully nice of you to want to invite Mama and Papa to dinner on Friday night.  Tell you what, I think I have their contact information, so I'll call them and invite them to Friday dinner for you.  They might not be able to make it, I think they are <insert excuse - out of town, going to a movie instead, whatever> but I'll pass along the invitation."

My Dad sometimes just seems to have an itch to get something done.  If I can say something that will help satisfy that itch and take it off his plate and he's satisfied, then that is what I do.

Depending on the circumstances, there can sometimes be some other need that motivates the itch or urge.  My Dad might be tired, or hungry, or bored, or confused.  Sometimes if I can figure the other need out and get it addressed, that can solve it.

Not remembering that a family member has passed away is pretty common in dementia patients.  It can be startling to us because of course we remember that grandma or grandpa has been gone for years and it seems like an important thing they should remember too.  But dementia patients are forgetful, and after a certain point they also become unoriented to time (and later place).  So your Dad might think it's 1950 instead of 2024, and in 1950 his parents probably were still alive.  Disorientation to time and place are somewhat mid-stage dementia I think - you can google around for stage models - I'm partial to the Global Deterioration / Reisburg scale at https://www.dementiacarecentral.com/aboutdementia/facts/stages/ and also the DBAT (dementia behavioral assessment tool) for tracking my Dad's status.

When my Dad did recently wonder about whether his Mom was still alive and he asked me directly, I did calmly and patiently and kindly tell him that she had died.  When I reminded him of the circumstances of her death he did seem to remember a little bit and didn't seem too upset.  But I did that because he directly asked about her; if he wanted to do something thinking she was still alive I would proceed with the helpful fiblet approach outlined above.

[Frugal Lizard]

I'm so glad that these stories are being posted here.

Here's my story for the day:

My brother got a call today from our mother.
She needed him to redirect my dad because since last night, he was asking her for his parents' phone number because he wanted to invite them for dinner on Friday. He did not forget about it overnight and was fixated on it all day. When my brother talked to him this afternoon,  he tried to explain that my dad could not call his parents and told him that his father died in 1978 and his mother in 2002. He dutifully wrote down those dates, but still wanted to know their phone number.

Then he seemed to calm down and thanked my brother for the information. Our mom says that he has been saying that he has been talking to his mother frequently, and no one told him that she died.  He still never mentions his sister who is alive and lives an hour from them.



Any tips for redirecting in this situation?
Does this mean he's advanced to the next stage of his dementia?

I use the deflect method as much as possible but some situations only the 'fiblit' will do.

For example:
Mom: I haven't talked to my mom lately. I wonder how she is?
Me: I haven't spoken with her recently (not a fib since the last time I spoke with her was the day before a fatal heart attack in 1997)
Me: I am sure we'd hear if she was unwell.
Mom: Yeah my sister would ring me right away and try to make me feel guilty for not helping her with our mother.
Me: Aunt K was very good at keeping on top of things (until she too declined from ALZ, and died in 2022)
Me: I did just speak with family friend and they asked how you were and wanted me to pass along greetings.

It has taken me years to get better at these kind of conversations. The book:
Learning to Speak Alzheimer's: A Groundbreaking Approach for Everyone Dealing with the Disease
By: Joanne Koenig Coste
was very helpful for me to reframe how I interacted with my mother within a context of one must never ever lie about anything ever and everything was either black or white.

[Luke Warm]

Thoughts on how to get my mom to get out of bed, eat and take her pills? She had a meltdown the other day and she's spiraling.

[LaineyAZ]

Thoughts on how to get my mom to get out of bed, eat and take her pills? She had a meltdown the other day and she's spiraling.

Is she already in a facility or is she at home? 

I'm asking because I know someone who has a small dog certified as a therapy pet which she takes to senior facilities.
It seems to really cheer up those folks so I'm mentioning that in case it's a possibility. 

I truly sympathize - the reversion to toddler behavior is so frustrating.

[Luke Warm]

Thoughts on how to get my mom to get out of bed, eat and take her pills? She had a meltdown the other day and she's spiraling.

Is she already in a facility or is she at home? 

I'm asking because I know someone who has a small dog certified as a therapy pet which she takes to senior facilities.
It seems to really cheer up those folks so I'm mentioning that in case it's a possibility. 

I truly sympathize - the reversion to toddler behavior is so frustrating.

She's at home. She stayed in bed for about 24 hours and finally got up around 5 yesterday and took her pills and ate. She's awake this morning but in a bad mood. I got her dressed fed and out the door to her adult daycare.

We have a dog and a cat that she likes to interact with. Sometimes just getting the cycle of depression to break will get her back on track. I took her out to look at christmas lights and she was fine but once she's back home she gets in a mood. Good times.

[mspym]

@Luke Warm my mum is definitely sleeping more “it’s raining, I can’t go to tennis, there’s no reason for me to get out of bed” but the cat helps give her a purpose and my sister’s dogs visit but aren’t her responsibility, which is good. Like, she can’t be a pet owner as it’s too much for her capacity but feeding a cat, and patting a dog, and keeping the cat and dog away from each other counts as a full-time job (to her) and gives her a focus.

[secondcor521]

Thoughts on how to get my mom to get out of bed, eat and take her pills? She had a meltdown the other day and she's spiraling.

Is she already in a facility or is she at home? 

I'm asking because I know someone who has a small dog certified as a therapy pet which she takes to senior facilities.
It seems to really cheer up those folks so I'm mentioning that in case it's a possibility. 

I truly sympathize - the reversion to toddler behavior is so frustrating.

She's at home. She stayed in bed for about 24 hours and finally got up around 5 yesterday and took her pills and ate. She's awake this morning but in a bad mood. I got her dressed fed and out the door to her adult daycare.

We have a dog and a cat that she likes to interact with. Sometimes just getting the cycle of depression to break will get her back on track. I took her out to look at christmas lights and she was fine but once she's back home she gets in a mood. Good times.

Has she been evaluated or treated for depression or seasonal affective disorder?  Light can be very important.  We're just coming out of the period of the shortest daylight of the year (in the US / northern hemisphere).

My understanding is that it is proper to treat depression in patients with dementia, and the treatment can improve their quality of life.  Even someone who has lived a long time without depression may face it in dementia, because dementia can obviously become a depressing disease.

Zoloft and similar are cheap and reasonably safe.  SAD lights are cheap, effective, and quite safe.

[Luke Warm]

@Luke Warm my mum is definitely sleeping more “it’s raining, I can’t go to tennis, there’s no reason for me to get out of bed” but the cat helps give her a purpose and my sister’s dogs visit but aren’t her responsibility, which is good. Like, she can’t be a pet owner as it’s too much for her capacity but feeding a cat, and patting a dog, and keeping the cat and dog away from each other counts as a full-time job (to her) and gives her a focus.

My mom likes to stay busy but she's really depressed right now so she would rather sleep all day. It will pass (I hope) in a day or two. I think she's having dreams about things and she can't recognize they are dreams.

[Luke Warm]

Thoughts on how to get my mom to get out of bed, eat and take her pills? She had a meltdown the other day and she's spiraling.

Is she already in a facility or is she at home? 

I'm asking because I know someone who has a small dog certified as a therapy pet which she takes to senior facilities.
It seems to really cheer up those folks so I'm mentioning that in case it's a possibility. 

I truly sympathize - the reversion to toddler behavior is so frustrating.

She's at home. She stayed in bed for about 24 hours and finally got up around 5 yesterday and took her pills and ate. She's awake this morning but in a bad mood. I got her dressed fed and out the door to her adult daycare.

We have a dog and a cat that she likes to interact with. Sometimes just getting the cycle of depression to break will get her back on track. I took her out to look at christmas lights and she was fine but once she's back home she gets in a mood. Good times.

Has she been evaluated or treated for depression or seasonal affective disorder?  Light can be very important.  We're just coming out of the period of the shortest daylight of the year (in the US / northern hemisphere).

My understanding is that it is proper to treat depression in patients with dementia, and the treatment can improve their quality of life.  Even someone who has lived a long time without depression may face it in dementia, because dementia can obviously become a depressing disease.

Zoloft and similar are cheap and reasonably safe.  SAD lights are cheap, effective, and quite safe.

She's been on 100mg of Sertraline and the doctor just bumped it up to 200mg. It takes a few weeks to show any effect though.We both have mild SAD. She goes to bed early, usually around 6 or 7 and I wake her up after the sun comes up. The time change messed up both of us even though we're both unemployed. I try to get her home in time to go for a dog walk before it gets too dark.

[secondcor521]

Thoughts on how to get my mom to get out of bed, eat and take her pills? She had a meltdown the other day and she's spiraling.

Is she already in a facility or is she at home? 

I'm asking because I know someone who has a small dog certified as a therapy pet which she takes to senior facilities.
It seems to really cheer up those folks so I'm mentioning that in case it's a possibility. 

I truly sympathize - the reversion to toddler behavior is so frustrating.

She's at home. She stayed in bed for about 24 hours and finally got up around 5 yesterday and took her pills and ate. She's awake this morning but in a bad mood. I got her dressed fed and out the door to her adult daycare.

We have a dog and a cat that she likes to interact with. Sometimes just getting the cycle of depression to break will get her back on track. I took her out to look at christmas lights and she was fine but once she's back home she gets in a mood. Good times.

Has she been evaluated or treated for depression or seasonal affective disorder?  Light can be very important.  We're just coming out of the period of the shortest daylight of the year (in the US / northern hemisphere).

My understanding is that it is proper to treat depression in patients with dementia, and the treatment can improve their quality of life.  Even someone who has lived a long time without depression may face it in dementia, because dementia can obviously become a depressing disease.

Zoloft and similar are cheap and reasonably safe.  SAD lights are cheap, effective, and quite safe.

She's been on 100mg of Sertraline and the doctor just bumped it up to 200mg. It takes a few weeks to show any effect though.We both have mild SAD. She goes to bed early, usually around 6 or 7 and I wake her up after the sun comes up. The time change messed up both of us even though we're both unemployed. I try to get her home in time to go for a dog walk before it gets too dark.

That all sounds good.

One minor note - I was on antidepressants for about 15 years, and in my particular case, all of the usual SSRI-type antidepressants eventually lost effectiveness.  I'd start on the lowest dose, then up it to get to effective levels which would work for maybe three to six months, then I'd notice more symptoms so I'd have to get the dosage increased.  Eventually the doctor would switch me to another one and the cycle would start again.  Thankfully there were enough different ones out there that I could round robin among them.

I'm not sure if I'm the only one out there like that, but if it seems like your Mom's Sertraline isn't working as well over time, she might be in the same boat.

The people who care for my Dad say the time change messes with their patients too.  Also the full moon apparently affects some of them.

Good luck.

[Luke Warm]

The new thing now is she doesn't like my gf. Mad at her for no apparent reason. At least she got up and ate and took her pills. I wish the Sertraline would kick in quicker. Thanks for all y'alls help. This is a great place to vent.

[Luke Warm]

It's been a miserable week. She's either mad or crying or both. Stays in bed all day. Barely eats or drinks. I try to keep her drinking so she doesn't get dehydrated and end up with a UTI.

[deborah]

The new thing now is she doesn't like my gf. Mad at her for no apparent reason. At least she got up and ate and took her pills. I wish the Sertraline would kick in quicker. Thanks for all y'alls help. This is a great place to vent.

Evidently it’s very common for people to confuse their relationships. My grandmother thought her son (my uncle) was her husband. So my aunt automatically became “the other woman”. Perhaps that could be happening with your gf.

[wenchsenior]

It's been a miserable week. She's either mad or crying or both. Stays in bed all day. Barely eats or drinks. I try to keep her drinking so she doesn't get dehydrated and end up with a UTI.

This isn't helpful to you right now, I know. But just to give you perspective. One thing about dementia progressing is that usually these emotional upheavals become less frequent, and tantrums become less physical.

My father has undifferentiated dementia (partly due to Korsakoff's possibly also Alzheimer's  or some other type since his mother had that).

What we've seen is rapid degeneration to the point of needing full time care (but he was actively drinking then); but once he got full time care he sort of plateaued for a couple of years and didn't worsen. During that stretch he had intermittent stretches of lucidity throughout the day, had a fair amount of energy and was still partly mobile...could move himself from bed to chair, crawl around, and sometimes walk around with help. The downside of that period was that he was prone to frequent Sundowning and would regularly get very angry and upset...curse, spit, throw things or try to hit caregivers (whom he normally likes), crawl or roll on the floor or try to move around on his own in unsafe ways. It was stressful, and we eventually got him some anti-anxiety meds to try to mitigate this. They helped a bit but not totally. This is a tough stage and it sounds like you might  be in it.

Now, about 2 years later, suddenly deterioration has begun again (about 4 months ago) and is progressing steadily. He has much less energy/sleeps more/is lucid less often/very little interest in going out e.g., being taken for a drive (which he used to enjoy).   His swallowing and coordination deteriorated suddenly; he can no longer feed himself and has to be reminded to chew and swallow and aspiration is a constant risk. His body is 'sinking' in on itself as if his organs are deteriorating, and he is almost never strong enough to transfer himself from bed to chair or walk (though he did manage about 10 steps the other day with support on both sides). He needed a catheter put in and he can no longer control bowel function to use the portapotty.

The upside is, he's a LOT mellower and less distressed or distressed less often. My sisters and I are starting to anticipate the end in a real way (when prior to this it was 'hypothetically at some point in the next few years), now I'm guessing there's a good possibility he will die within 6 months. We are having hospice come evaluate next week (for 'add on' services/end of life support).

[Luke Warm]

Thanks for the replies. It's definitely a strange new world.
She got up today and had trouble finding the bathroom. After that she manages to eat some oatmeal and take her pills. She stayed up for about an hour. We watched some TV then she went back to her room. I went out in the yard to do some chores and a few minutes later the neighbor comes over and has her at his house. Yikes. Got her home and back in her room. Looking for door locks now.

[Dicey]

Thanks for the replies. It's definitely a strange new world.
She got up today and had trouble finding the bathroom. After that she manages to eat some oatmeal and take her pills. She stayed up for about an hour. We watched some TV then she went back to her room. I went out in the yard to do some chores and a few minutes later the neighbor comes over and has her at his house. Yikes. Got her home and back in her room. Looking for door locks now.

The trick with latches is to put them up high. You shouldn't need a lock, just a simple latch will do. Google "flip action door lock." Amazon has one for about $4, but the link was horrendously long. They work really well and are rather inconspicuous, which is nice.

[iluvzbeach]

@Dicey, hey this is really minor but since you mentioned the ridiculously long link for a flip action door lock, I wanted to show how you can get a short link.  Once on the item in Amazon, click on the small square with the arrow on it (image below) and select "Copy Link."  You can then paste the link to the item and it'll be a very short link.  Example also below.

Shortened link for sharing - https://a.co/d/8IRWKvG

[Just Joe]

My mother is going through a bad balance phase. Has fallen a number of times in the MC center. I spent XMAS in the ER after one significant fall. Smooth floors, no steps involved there.

She checked out just fine. If it wasn't for her dementia I'd say she has alot of miles left in her.

The trouble now is she doesn't really know what to do with a walker or wheelchair. I still haven't witnessed a fall. Might be hard sits b/c it is brusing her. MC center is pairing her with another nicer patient who likes to chat. They seem to get along well.

Nice momento from the ER (maybe) is now I have a cold... Ugh. On the mend. 

[Dicey]

@Dicey, hey this is really minor but since you mentioned the ridiculously long link for a flip action door lock, I wanted to show how you can get a short link.  Once on the item in Amazon, click on the small square with the arrow on it (image below) and select "Copy Link."  You can then paste the link to the item and it'll be a very short link.  Example also below.

Shortened link for sharing - https://a.co/d/8IRWKvG

OMG, that is so useful! Thank you @iluvzbeach!

[Luke Warm]

Thanks for the replies. It's definitely a strange new world.
She got up today and had trouble finding the bathroom. After that she manages to eat some oatmeal and take her pills. She stayed up for about an hour. We watched some TV then she went back to her room. I went out in the yard to do some chores and a few minutes later the neighbor comes over and has her at his house. Yikes. Got her home and back in her room. Looking for door locks now.

The trick with latches is to put them up high. You shouldn't need a lock, just a simple latch will do. Google "flip action door lock." Amazon has one for about $4, but the link was horrendously long. They work really well and are rather inconspicuous, which is nice.

Thanks for that link. That looks more practical.
This whole thing is like the movie 'Invasion of the body snatchers'. My mom is now a pod person.
I'm actually starting to wonder if she's having a reaction to the Sertraline.

[rosarugosa]

Thanks for the replies. It's definitely a strange new world.
She got up today and had trouble finding the bathroom. After that she manages to eat some oatmeal and take her pills. She stayed up for about an hour. We watched some TV then she went back to her room. I went out in the yard to do some chores and a few minutes later the neighbor comes over and has her at his house. Yikes. Got her home and back in her room. Looking for door locks now.

The trick with latches is to put them up high. You shouldn't need a lock, just a simple latch will do. Google "flip action door lock." Amazon has one for about $4, but the link was horrendously long. They work really well and are rather inconspicuous, which is nice.

Thanks for that link. That looks more practical.
This whole thing is like the movie 'Invasion of the body snatchers'. My mom is now a pod person.
I'm actually starting to wonder if she's having a reaction to the Sertraline.

My Mom has Alzheimer's, and as a horror movie fan, I see it more like a zombie movie, where the body still shuffles through the motions, but the brain is dead, and the zombie is seeking BRAINS!!!

[rosarugosa]

@Dicey, hey this is really minor but since you mentioned the ridiculously long link for a flip action door lock, I wanted to show how you can get a short link.  Once on the item in Amazon, click on the small square with the arrow on it (image below) and select "Copy Link."  You can then paste the link to the item and it'll be a very short link.  Example also below.

Shortened link for sharing - https://a.co/d/8IRWKvG

This is a great tip!  Thanks!

[Luke Warm]

any suggestions on a tracking bracelet?

[monarda]

My Mom has Alzheimer's, and as a horror movie fan, I see it more like a zombie movie, where the body still shuffles through the motions, but the brain is dead, and the zombie is seeking BRAINS!!!

Love this. Sharing with my siblings.

[Catbert]

any suggestions on a tracking bracelet?

Amazon has several bracelets that you put in an Apple Air Tag (sold separately).  I have no personal experience with Air Tags although I understand that you don't need to personally have a cell phone for it to work.  It somehow catches random signals from others cell phones and triangulates the wearer.  Someone will correct me if I'm wrong.  This will not work in a remote location (e.g., lost in a mountain forest) since there are no cell phones around.

One potential problem I do have experience with.  I got DH and I each medical alert bracelets with silicone bands.  Mine is great.  I wear it 24/7 through showers and sleeping without problems.  DH is getting old person skin and says that his bruises and scrapes his skin so he doesn't wear it.

[Luke Warm]

She had a UTI which hopefully was the cause of all the weirdness. So many lessons learned this week.

[iluvzbeach]

UTIs can cause the most bizarre symptoms in older folks. Hopefully she’ll be much improved in the next 24-48 hours.

[Dicey]

My mom was prone to them and she would hallucinate. Fun times.

[rosarugosa]

If you are on Facebook, there is a very good group: "Alzheimer and Dementia Caregivers Support."  It can be really helpful to share knowledge and experiences with others dealing with the same issues.  On the other hand, there is a lot of anguish, so I stopped following the group (did not leave it), but I can pop onto the page if I have a specific question, comment or issue (or if I need a dose of anguish, lol).  I have learned a lot of value from the group and it's a pretty supportive environment, but having the posts constantly in my newsfeed was having a bit of a negative effect; I just don't want to be thinking about dementia all the time.

[Catbert]

If you're in the US, the Alzheimer's Association has a 24/7 help line:  800.272.3900.  I've never used it but have been told by others that they are very competent and, well, helpful.

[Luke Warm]

I just got her into Hospice. It's covered by Medicare. They are coming to the house later this week to check her out. They are very helpful.

[Just Joe]

My Mom has Alzheimer's, and as a horror movie fan, I see it more like a zombie movie, where the body still shuffles through the motions, but the brain is dead, and the zombie is seeking BRAINS!!!

Love this. Sharing with my siblings.

Also, like sleep walking. Was watching a TV show recently when that example presented itself.

Mom is back in the hospital. Most recent fall broke a leg - not a hip. No amount of sleeping meds seems to completely help her to rest. She's always talking in her sleep or randomly trying to get out of bed, broken leg or not.

Of course there is some amount that would do the trick but it might not be safe...

[Just Joe]

If you are on Facebook, there is a very good group: "Alzheimer and Dementia Caregivers Support."  It can be really helpful to share knowledge and experiences with others dealing with the same issues.  On the other hand, there is a lot of anguish, so I stopped following the group (did not leave it), but I can pop onto the page if I have a specific question, comment or issue (or if I need a dose of anguish, lol).  I have learned a lot of value from the group and it's a pretty supportive environment, but having the posts constantly in my newsfeed was having a bit of a negative effect; I just don't want to be thinking about dementia all the time.

Thank you for that! I've joined the group.

[lhamo]

My mother is going through a bad balance phase. Has fallen a number of times in the MC center. I spent XMAS in the ER after one significant fall. Smooth floors, no steps involved there.

She checked out just fine. If it wasn't for her dementia I'd say she has alot of miles left in her.

The trouble now is she doesn't really know what to do with a walker or wheelchair. I still haven't witnessed a fall. Might be hard sits b/c it is brusing her. MC center is pairing her with another nicer patient who likes to chat. They seem to get along well.

Nice momento from the ER (maybe) is now I have a cold... Ugh. On the mend.

Are they checking her oxygen?

My mom's last serious fall was because her congestive heart failure had led to her O2 levels dropping -- she was at only around 80% when the aid car got there.

She went on supplemental oxygen for the last few weeks of her life, which made it possible for her to be more mobile.  But the oxygen lines are also a tripping hazard....

[Just Joe]

Yes, she's all checked out. But I will bring it up with the med staff. I have an O2 checker I can take with me next time. Maybe you're on to something.

The falls led to a broken leg, surgery, etc today.

[Sibley]

any suggestions on a tracking bracelet?

Amazon has several bracelets that you put in an Apple Air Tag (sold separately).  I have no personal experience with Air Tags although I understand that you don't need to personally have a cell phone for it to work.  It somehow catches random signals from others cell phones and triangulates the wearer.  Someone will correct me if I'm wrong.  This will not work in a remote location (e.g., lost in a mountain forest) since there are no cell phones around.

One potential problem I do have experience with.  I got DH and I each medical alert bracelets with silicone bands.  Mine is great.  I wear it 24/7 through showers and sleeping without problems.  DH is getting old person skin and says that his bruises and scrapes his skin so he doesn't wear it.

@Catbert  my dad has old person skin, and taking vitamins for skin health (hair, skin and nails brand is the one he takes) has had a marked improvement.

[Luke Warm]

Medicare will pay for hospice care and dementia can be covered by hospice. I got my mom signed up for hospice on Tuesday and they came out today to do interview with us and my mom. Unfortunately my mom isn't far enough along to qualify but there is also palliative care that she might qualify for. They are coming out tomorrow for an interview. They move incredibly fast which is great. They also answered all of our questions. Also one of my GF friends is an underemployed RN who is going back to school and she's looking for part time work and she lives 3 blocks away.