Critique my request for raise

[dragonwalker]

I'm trying to get a raise at work. A little background:

I'm 28 working at a large national bank for the past 6 years. College graduate. Not the best performer but very consistent and strong. I've been in my current position about 4 years. I currently make $41,000+commissions and comes out to around 55-60K. I was recently asked to move to a new location where the staffing has been very unstable. I was brought in to bring some stability to the situation. I am considered very reliable. I know a colleague with similar level of experience is making 45K, two other with greater experience making 47K and 49K. I know that if I left I could get more but in reality I don't have any intention to leave as I'm trying to study and take courses to be a CPA.

I've been assigned the new location for 2 months and the manager here has been on a medical leave of absence even before I started. I am considering submitting my request directly to our area manager who has the power anyway to make decisions about raises. I originally felt a request for $45,000 was reasonable and after talking to some colleagues they suggested I ask for more anticipating a possible counter. In year's past I have received somewhere like 1-2% increases. Here is the e-mail I am thinking of send:

Hello Tony,

I would like to take a moment to thank you for your support and guidance during the last PB meeting at XXXX. I realize that there is much work to do at XXXX. I know I can handle this challenge and help to train our new PB to understand our processes.
 
I have grown with the company and have been a solid and consistent performer in the past six years. Equally as important to production is the value a person contributes to growing an effective team that works together. I believe you have been trying especially hard to do that here and you now entrust me to that task.

I have recently been approached by recruiters from other financial institutions. They each presented a range of base compensation significantly higher than my base. Their variable compensation package is competitive.  

I would prefer to remain here at XXX because I want to remain committed. More importantly I am happy to be here. Based on this information I am requesting for a wage increase to $48,000 per year.

Sincerely,
XXXX

[GoConfidently]

Is there any way you can do this face to face, and then follow up with an email thanking the manager for meeting with you instead? It's easier to say no (directly or by passing the blame) in writing.

[pdxmonkey]

Ask for $51,000. Why? Because if someone else is getting 49k with similar responsibilities sound silly. Do they have more skills or just more years in the game? And $50k sounds like you just made up a round number you want that doesn't have any justification behind it. Do any of the competing recruiters offer >50k? If so use them as justification examples as well as the fact your branch has essentially been self managing. If you have been doing any of the management responsibilities consider asking for an upgraded title as well. If that's the case and people with that title make even more money...ask for that amount instead.

[marty998]

Hello Tony,

I would like to take a moment to thank you for your support and guidance during the last PB meeting at XXXX. I realize that there is much work to do at XXXX. I know I can handle this challenge and help to train our new PB to understand our processes.
 
I have grown with the company and have been a solid and consistent performer in the past six years. Equally as important to production is the value a person contributes to growing an effective team that works together. I believe you have been trying especially hard to do that here and you now entrust me to that task.

I have recently been approached by recruiters from other financial institutions. They each presented a range of base compensation significantly higher than my base. Their variable compensation package is competitive.   

I would prefer to remain here at XXX because I want to remain committed. More importantly I am happy to be here. Based on this information I am requesting for a wage increase to $48,000 per year.

Sincerely,
XXXX

Don't threaten to leave. Seriously, people leave all the time and you are replaceable. You haven't actually listed anything in there that warrants giving you an increase.

- What are your achievements?
- Are you taking higher duties? If so ask for a Higher Duties Allowance, not a raise.
- Don't do it over email. Do it face to face. You earn commissions? That tells me you sell product. Sell yourself like you would sell a product. Prove you deserve the increase.

Best of luck.

[dragonwalker]

Ok, I didn't want to threaten that I was going to leave. I added the part about other recruiters to remind him of the market rate for my job. My area director is very aware of the "numbers" and I didn't want to have to remind him of every achievement I've had because we just have so many and naturally if I brought it up I feel I would also have to address areas where I lacked as well so I opted to keep it short. How might I create the sense of urgency without necessarily being as suggestive of leaving as you say?

[ender]

Baaaaaaad idea to effectively, say "I could make more money elsewhere, I want a raise." Oh I realize this is not what you are technically doing but you basically are conveying when you write this email to a manager you barely know.

Do you have any relationship with this manager? Two months isn't enough time in most cases to build a relationship with someone for them to advocate for your raise.

[Cathy]

If you are worth more than you are being paid, prove it by actually doing the interviews and getting those higher offers that you say you can get. You can then either use those higher offers to negotiate with your current employer, or you can leave. Your value on the free market is the most relevant data point in any negotiation with an employer.

[Goldielocks]

Don't say that you have other offers if you don't have anything in writing!  First off, it may be a lie, (assumed from your lead up description) and second, they could ask to see it.

Even if you do have other offers, just leave that part out and bring it up verbally, as in " I received other offers that I rejected as I am happy working here, but you should know that they were in the range of XX to YY".   Be warned that sometimes managers are invested in loyalty (even when the company doesnt' care about workers).


List how you built sales and commissions in the past, and why you think your efforts will continue to provide success directly to the company.   Why do you deserve more?

[RobFIRE]

First two things from "email...area manager"
In my company my middle manager would not appreciate being bypassed. Is there a more direct manager you need to approach first, even if they just refer you to the area manager?
Secondly, email isn't ideal for this. I'd prefer a face to face meeting, if that can't be done then at least start with a phone call and follow up with an email.

Contents: I don't think I'd talk about offers from recruiters/market rate etc. Negative approach and could be perceived as a threat. Manager can easily turn round and say, "if somebody else will pay more then go and get it". I would focus on a positive approach, explain the value you add in your role hence why you are worth more. If I were going to do it I don't think it would just be for 10%, that's a rounding error really, if you're going to ask I'd be looking for at least 20% (though you may not get it). I'd avoid mentioning exact numbers though, better if the other side mentions figures first.

With your situation of, by the sounds of it, being asked to bail out another failing team for a couple of months, I'd consider making the initial conversation about a set of targets for you agreed with manager for the two months assignment, a chance for you to demonstrate value added, which if achieved would then justify a conversation about a salary increase. A bit more of a message to the manager that you're going to solve a business problem for him, and then want commensurate compensation in return. But most likely you have to do your bit first without a guarantee of the salary increase.

[11ducks]

You haven't explained your value, except in generalisations. What have you done for the company (above and beyond) that makes you worth the extra? Have you headed up projects, improved processes, increased sales? Support your argument with data. Rather than hint at other jobs, compare your skill sets, responsibilities and acheivements (current market rate for a Xxx doing X y z is $$$). Have you been taking on roles from your manager on med leave? Could you show a willingness to pop into that position? Good luck!

[dragonwalker]

Thanks for all the advice everyone. I've thought of actually getting other offers and using that as more leverage however wouldn't that be even more like presenting an ultimatum? Since I'm actually bluffing about leaving and if he doesn't agree than I'll look even worse if I don't leave. I thought it might be a good time now to ask because I am the only person in my position able to do what I can do because of all the recent chaos so I have some leverage from that.

I definitely now think that I should aim to meet him in person. I have never even really met my new direct manager because he has been on medical leave since starting here so I'd honestly like to bypass that level and go first to his secretary to arrange a meeting. Of course if I am able to meet in person I will bring up more specific details with him.

[Goldielocks]

Thanks for all the advice everyone. I've thought of actually getting other offers and using that as more leverage however wouldn't that be even more like presenting an ultimatum? Since I'm actually bluffing about leaving and if he doesn't agree than I'll look even worse if I don't leave. I thought it might be a good time now to ask because I am the only person in my position able to do what I can do because of all the recent chaos so I have some leverage from that.

I definitely now think that I should aim to meet him in person. I have never even really met my new direct manager because he has been on medical leave since starting here so I'd honestly like to bypass that level and go first to his secretary to arrange a meeting. Of course if I am able to meet in person I will bring up more specific details with him.

So you were going to lie to try to get a raise...   in writing, no less.
Not the strongest position for someone in the banking industry.   

Just talk in person, straight up, and ask for a raise, and say clearly why you are worth more money than your colleagues.

[uppy]

Just for some perspective --

About six months ago I emailed my direct manager to ask if he would be "open to sitting down and talking about my salary." It was a gamble because I knew he could prepare all kinds of counter arguments about why not to give me a raise, but I was confident with my reasoning.

At the meeting, I whipped out all kinds of concrete examples and numbers -- streamlined systems that were already in place, making them more effective and saving us money, inventing other systems and processes that actually "made" us money (we're a non profit so not exactly). It was pretty obvious I deserved it too, considering my manager himself was new and I had basically been teaching him his job for a few months.

Manager goes, "Hey, I'd love to give you a raise, but it's out of my hands." Said there was a freeze on all raises...indefinitely. Meanwhile I am on year 3, was hired at a lower rate than my predecessor, and I have NEVER gotten a raise, period.

So take it for what it's worth. Maybe go over direct manager's head, maybe be prepared for nothing. Or be prepared to actually leave.

[TomTX]

Just for some perspective --

About six months ago I emailed my direct manager to ask if he would be "open to sitting down and talking about my salary." It was a gamble because I knew he could prepare all kinds of counter arguments about why not to give me a raise, but I was confident with my reasoning.

At the meeting, I whipped out all kinds of concrete examples and numbers -- streamlined systems that were already in place, making them more effective and saving us money, inventing other systems and processes that actually "made" us money (we're a non profit so not exactly). It was pretty obvious I deserved it too, considering my manager himself was new and I had basically been teaching him his job for a few months.

Manager goes, "Hey, I'd love to give you a raise, but it's out of my hands." Said there was a freeze on all raises...indefinitely. Meanwhile I am on year 3, was hired at a lower rate than my predecessor, and I have NEVER gotten a raise, period.

So take it for what it's worth. Maybe go over direct manager's head, maybe be prepared for nothing. Or be prepared to actually leave.

Time to get another job.

[uppy]

Just for some perspective --

About six months ago I emailed my direct manager to ask if he would be "open to sitting down and talking about my salary." It was a gamble because I knew he could prepare all kinds of counter arguments about why not to give me a raise, but I was confident with my reasoning.

At the meeting, I whipped out all kinds of concrete examples and numbers -- streamlined systems that were already in place, making them more effective and saving us money, inventing other systems and processes that actually "made" us money (we're a non profit so not exactly). It was pretty obvious I deserved it too, considering my manager himself was new and I had basically been teaching him his job for a few months.

Manager goes, "Hey, I'd love to give you a raise, but it's out of my hands." Said there was a freeze on all raises...indefinitely. Meanwhile I am on year 3, was hired at a lower rate than my predecessor, and I have NEVER gotten a raise, period.

So take it for what it's worth. Maybe go over direct manager's head, maybe be prepared for nothing. Or be prepared to actually leave.

Time to get another job.

Don't I know it! :)

I plan to start a thread or try the really inoperative search feature on best jobsearching strategies in the near future. I need to have something lined up before I leave, and it's one of those jobs that doesn't leave a lot of time for exploring other options.

[FB2020]

Agree

I wouldn't threaten to leave, and if you do, be ready to actually leave.
So have another offer on hand if you want to go this route.

[TomTX]

Just for some perspective --

About six months ago I emailed my direct manager to ask if he would be "open to sitting down and talking about my salary." It was a gamble because I knew he could prepare all kinds of counter arguments about why not to give me a raise, but I was confident with my reasoning.

At the meeting, I whipped out all kinds of concrete examples and numbers -- streamlined systems that were already in place, making them more effective and saving us money, inventing other systems and processes that actually "made" us money (we're a non profit so not exactly). It was pretty obvious I deserved it too, considering my manager himself was new and I had basically been teaching him his job for a few months.

Manager goes, "Hey, I'd love to give you a raise, but it's out of my hands." Said there was a freeze on all raises...indefinitely. Meanwhile I am on year 3, was hired at a lower rate than my predecessor, and I have NEVER gotten a raise, period.

So take it for what it's worth. Maybe go over direct manager's head, maybe be prepared for nothing. Or be prepared to actually leave.

Time to get another job.

Don't I know it! :)

I plan to start a thread or try the really inoperative search feature on best jobsearching strategies in the near future. I need to have something lined up before I leave, and it's one of those jobs that doesn't leave a lot of time for exploring other options.

Update (or set up) your LinkedIn and resume/work history.  Research other companies you might want to work for. Put out general feelers with friends at other companies. "Hey, how's it going? What's it like over there at MegaXCorp?"