Author Topic: Count your blessings  (Read 3149 times)

BTDretire

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Count your blessings
« on: May 21, 2018, 04:54:49 PM »
I recently got news that my sons best buddies father died at 49 yrs old.
He had cancer, but  this was unexpected.
I'm a bit overwhelmed that this happened and I'm feeling great compasion for the
son.
 Makes me think more about a bucket list and actually doing it.

 On another note, again I can count my blessings, in a news group
I was posting about saving money amd investing, conversation was going well
until someone posted, the can't save any money on $30k living ib California.
 I told him I don't know your circunstances, age, family, health etc. but, I
suggested 4 or 5 ways to cut expenses and increase income.

 Here's the response I got back, and again I have compasion, but I don't see
there is much room to improve his lot. Yes, I know the smoking and dogs...

1  Im 64 yrs old
1A.  I live in a lower cost part of California. But..its still
California...where I have to buy gas, electricity and so forth.

2. I run my own small business fixing machinery in machine shops
3. I live 100 miles from my closest customer, nearly 200 from my most
distant one.
4. I live in my truck when Im on the road
5. I pack food for a week or two when I go out on the road.
6. I buy my food as canned goods and carry a stove with me to heat it
up on.
6. My insurance is with AAA...and I get the best rate possible
7. At one time..I had $250,000 in the bank and about an equal amount
in investments.  Between the stock market crash of 2007-2010..and the
fact I had a son who took (4) extensive treatments to get him free of
methamphetamine addiction...all that money is..gone.
8. I own my own home.  However..Id be happy to move OUT of
California..if I could find the work AND the money to bail
9. The wife and I do animal rescue. Current expenses are about $60 a
week in dog food.
10 We both smoke. Thats another $100 a week (roughly). Ive attempted
to quit 23 times. She has tried 10 times. Still no luck after 40 yrs
of smoking. The physical addition is easy to break. The mental
addiction...particularly for me...in a hands on, physical job..has
been impossible to break. Longest Ive quit..under hypnosis..was 6
months. I need to try hypnosis again.
11. If I sell..right now..all of my toys, tools, vehicles, boats,
clothing and the house..I doubt if I could generate $75k

12, I spend about $150 per week..or more..on fuel

13. If we simply shot every dog we call our own and stopped
rescuing..I could save about $5k a year.
14. If we quit smoking..(impossible)..we could save about $5k a year

Last years income..before expenses, fuel, food, dog food etc etc..was
about $31k.
This is about half of what I used to make during the Good Years when
manufacturing wasnt fleeing OUT of California.

Ive had 7 interviews in the past 30 days with big companies.  I flew
out to Conneticut the 27th of last month for an interview.  Result:
Im too old and I dont have enough "class". Though all interviewers
remarked I have a superior work ethic and am extremely talented at
what I do.
I had an interview this morning on the phone in fact.  They wanted a
tech to work out of the San Fancisco area.  Thats not happening..as
its 350 miles to the north of me..in an area where a single bedroom
walk up studio apartment is $2000 a month.  For $45k a year, plus
"possible overtime". I turned it down. Nice company, seem to be good
people..wrong area, too low of pay.

15. Ive been in the military, Ive been a cop. I ran an alarm company
for 17 yrs. I ran a time clock company/fire alarm/access control
company for 4 yrs. I ran a pawn shop for 3 yrs.  Ive been fixing
machinery for 22 yrs.

16. Im 64 yrs old and will have to work at least..at least another 6
yrs to get the maximum out of Social Security.

17. My wife is disabled and collects $623 a month on Social Security.
As of last September. 

Ill not go into my other debits..taxes, property and personal etc etc.

18 Fuel here in California is $3.64 a gallon..at the cheap places and
depending on which vehicle I drive..I may get 10-22 mpg..and drive on
average..450 miles per week.

I never..ever play the lottery, drink, go on vacation, do drugs or
even have cable tv.

Come up with a good way to bring in more income based on the border
line income I live  on..Id be very happy to look it over.

DreamFIRE

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Re: Count your blessings
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2018, 05:01:57 PM »
That's too much for me to read right now, but I always hated that term "bucket list."

I just like to think in terms of a list of things to do in FIRE, and not necessarily a list to check things off as I complete them.

Awesomeness

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Re: Count your blessings
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2018, 07:27:22 PM »
I am sorry for the loss of your sons friends father. That’s a young age to lose someone.  Long ago I lost a friend at the age of 38 in his sleep.  Life is fragile and precious. 

I can only advise on the post what I would attempt to do if I was in that situation. He certainly made it sound like adding more income is not possible so working with what they have is the best option. 

There is room for improvement and yeah he should sell the toys.  It does seem he’s being a bit dramatic including clothes in that comment but boats was plural so there’s room there and 75k is no chump change, buy a 4cyl car.  Another dramatic comment when referring to shooting the dogs. But no he can’t afford the dogs so stop rescuing them and his supply will diminish and they’ll save money. Keep one young healthy pup for companionship. I have dogs so I get it. Yes quit smoking. Try again til you quit.  It’s possible. I’ve known many people that have quit so it can be done.  It’ll be the death if them both if they don’t stop. He’s willing to relocate so that’s good.  Start paring down and sell things. Relocate to the south, Alabama is a beautiful state and property taxes are incredibly cheap.  He could get a 100k house in a safe area. Putting 20k down he’d have a 400$ house payment.  I lived there before and loved it.

Honestly I would not be ashamed to ask the son for help.  If he’s truly clean and sober he’ll be thankful and willing to help his parents.  Have a heart to heart with him now and if he refuses to help, the seed will be planted and maybe someday he’ll reach out and help his parents.

I’d sit down with the family and have a come to Jesus heart to heart conversation.  Ask the son for help. Make a one or two year plan to quit smoking, wean off the dogs, sell everything you could, buy a car and relocate to a cheaper area. 

mozar

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Re: Count your blessings
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2018, 08:40:46 PM »
They say young people are entitled but sheesh, this guy needs to get a grip. He's not entitled to full employment until the second he decides to retire. With his smoking habit he should take ss sooner than later.

Boohoo manufacturing has left California. He needs to sell his toys, quit smoking, and get a roommate.

I'm sorry if that's harsh but I'm tired of these baby boomer pity fests.

Zikoris

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Re: Count your blessings
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2018, 09:10:27 PM »
It's funny how these people so rarely post a budget. They'll write an essay about how hard done by they are, but you'll never see an actual breakdown of where their money goes in a month, because they know damn well it won't make them look good. Because you'll see things like triple digit spending on smoking, or alcohol, or boat/toy expenses,or sometimes outrageous amounts on fast food. I suspect that for the most part people are at least generally aware of what they blow money on, even if they like to pretend otherwise.

As far as what I'd do, sell everything, move somewhere cheap, and deflate the lifestyle to match whatever income you'd have at the level of work you could get. And for god sakes, stop taking in any more rescue animals.
« Last Edit: May 21, 2018, 09:12:23 PM by Zikoris »

Cassie

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Re: Count your blessings
« Reply #5 on: May 21, 2018, 09:19:25 PM »
We have rescued dogs for the past 12 years but are naturally downsizing to one mainly because of high vet bills and medication cost. I say he did a lot of good and now time to pass the baton.  When young we moved to a lower cost of living due to financial concerns and would do it again if necessary.  When I worked with clients my biggest frustration was that rural people would not move for work.

FireHiker

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Re: Count your blessings
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2018, 11:08:19 AM »
Yeah, my good friend died at 46 almost a year ago from cancer; her son is my son's best friend. She was diagnosed around the time I discovered MMM and it made me entirely re-evaluate my priorities.

I lost my dad when he was 58 due to COPD from years and years as a smoker. Between the health AND financial aspects, quitting the smoking really should be the very first priority for the gentleman and his wife who you reference in your post. It's a ticking time bomb and can render all of the rest of it moot. That and reduce the dog rescue; there are ways to be involved in animal rescue with volunteering time somewhere. Between the smoking and dogs that's nearly 10k a year!! And yeah, boats plural??

BTDretire

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Re: Count your blessings
« Reply #7 on: May 23, 2018, 12:57:24 PM »
Regarding the 64 yr old smoker that rescues dogs.
 I saw in another group he is asking about how to
stop smoking, He references this article as his prompt.
 https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/01/22/cost-of-smoking/22144969/
 The post was one day before I started the discussion about trimming costs.
 I wish him luck, he say's he has quit 23 times.

LibrarianFuzz

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Re: Count your blessings
« Reply #8 on: May 24, 2018, 09:09:40 AM »
I do feel sorry for him. It sounds like life has worn the hell out of him and he doesn't have any fight left. He's just waiting to kick the bucket and trying to make the best of his current circumstances until that happens.

Livingthedream55

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Re: Count your blessings
« Reply #9 on: May 24, 2018, 09:15:49 AM »
The 64 YO is a master of "yes, but..." also referred to as a "help rejecting complainer" - as much as he can clearly make a very dramatic case for why he can't improve his situation, there are always options to change behaviors including reducing expenses costs and/or bringing in more side income. See how he puts the burden to solve the problem on you?

I have several of these personality types in my family and have learned that they embrace their self talk as a comfortable teddy bear.

As a former substance abuse counselor it breaks my heart to see families deplete all their assets to try to save an adult child from addiction. In this case apparently the person is drug free. For everyone's sake I hope that continues but the recidivism rate can be as high as 95%.

Sadly, many in this country live on the financial edge and go from crisis to crisis. Some live their entire lives this way.

robartsd

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Re: Count your blessings
« Reply #10 on: May 24, 2018, 09:27:29 AM »
Regarding the 64 yr old smoker that rescues dogs.
 I saw in another group he is asking about how to
stop smoking, He references this article as his prompt.
 https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/01/22/cost-of-smoking/22144969/
 The post was one day before I started the discussion about trimming costs.
 I wish him luck, he say's he has quit 23 times.
Sounds like he should sell his toys and house and move to a place where his skills are more in demand and the cost of living is lower.

Awesomeness

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Re: Count your blessings
« Reply #11 on: May 24, 2018, 02:16:00 PM »
Refer him to Dave Ramsey. 

2Birds1Stone

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Re: Count your blessings
« Reply #12 on: May 24, 2018, 02:29:20 PM »
"I could save $5k/yr if I quit smoking, but, impossible"

Ok dude.