Corporate Performance appraisals.... Nyughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[Guses]

As part of a performance management reform at work, we are now required to define measurable performance metrics ("KEY LEADERSHIP COMPETENCIES ") and goals for the year.

At the end of the year(i.e., now), we have to quantitatively demonstrate how we met those metrics. Trouble is, all employees at my level and below are administrators (i.e., not decisions makers or leaders). The cherry on top of that sundae is that these performance appraisals are not even used for pay increases or disciplinary reasons. We work on a strict track system for pay....

So much wasted time, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!

[EmpireOfDirt]

As part of a performance management reform at work, we are now required to define measurable performance metrics ("KEY LEADERSHIP COMPETENCIES ") and goals for the year.

At the end of the year(i.e., now), we have to quantitatively demonstrate how we met those metrics. Trouble is, all employees at my level and below are administrators (i.e., not decisions makers or leaders). The cherry on top of that sundae is that these performance appraisals are not even used for pay increases or disciplinary reasons. We work on a strict track system for pay....

So much wasted time, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!

Gotta love it!

Here's how the annual review process in my department goes, in chronological order.

1. Managers rate their reports on a numerical scale. Please note that most employees work remotely on projects and have little to no meaningful interaction with their manager during the year.
2. These are normalized at the VP level and raises and bonuses are determined for everyone. Anyone in the management chain can tweak individual ratings, even the CEO, who is very far removed from most employees.
3. Managers gather feedback from colleagues, and then give the employee their review, usually after the changes are announced and have started hitting their bank account.

Rinse and repeat next year!

[No Name Guy]

So much wasted time, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!

Because the dip shits learned this is the "right" way to do things at MBA school.

Grumble, grumble, grumble....[applying ideas outside of where they're applicable]....

It's the same reason I scream every time some idiot bean counter compares our engineering practices or oursourcing to some tech company...cause having a 50-75 year product life cycle for life critical products means we should totally adopt ideas applicable to 3 year life cycle products that....quite frankly, don't matter.

[Guses]

I am tempted to fill mine with word salad and "bingo" corporate words to see if anyone will notice....

Should I be giving more fudges about this?

[Melf]

I've been through 20+ years of management appraisals/yearly reviews and I can honestly say that I've never given the first shit about it or given it much effort.  We were just given our goals/objectives for 2016 earlier this week.  I hope that is the last time I ever see them because I don't want to be around when they are closed out next year!

[Altons Bobs]

Because they want to keep their jobs, so someone has to do the job of time wasting, otherwise they will add to the unemployment rate which is bad for the economy! 

[steveo]

You gotta love this don't you. I keep telling myself 5 more yearly appraisals. I have one right now. I sent emails to about 6 people asking for feedback. I know that 2 of them don't like me. I'm starting to not give a shit though.

[Goldielocks]

I've been through 20+ years of management appraisals/yearly reviews and I can honestly say that I've never given the first shit about it or given it much effort.  We were just given our goals/objectives for 2016 earlier this week.  I hope that is the last time I ever see them because I don't want to be around when they are closed out next year!

A colleague did this. Against one goal where you fill in how you will meet it, he wrote "Pray".

At least two people called him up to laugh about it.

Seriously, only write in goals that you know you will meet within 3 months, guaranteed, and then the year end check off is easy.

[scottish]

I have only this for you:

[jac941]

Seriously, only write in goals that you know you will meet within 3 months, guaranteed, and then the year end check off is easy.

+1

I've been known to write in goals that I've already met because they don't seem to finalize them until at least a quarter into the year.

[forummm]

Seriously, only write in goals that you know you will meet within 3 months, guaranteed, and then the year end check off is easy.

+1

I've been known to write in goals that I've already met because they don't seem to finalize them until at least a quarter into the year.

I can edit mine up to 9 months into the year. But it doesn't really matter since the scores don't have any bearing on whether I get promoted or anything. And at most I could get a few hundred bucks out of it.

[mjs111]

Many times I've found the manager reading my goals cares as little about them as I do. It's all just part of the drill that you have to write them down and he has to read them back to you.

Mike

[MsPeacock]

PhD level professional here and in our department common PA goals are things like submits time sheets time. Yeah, that has nothing to do with effective performance of my job - but that is the sort of thing that goes on the PA.

[big_slacker]

We have to do them QUARTERLY, and the employees have to write them.

Total corp-speak format, a web front end and of course a formal process and meeting that goes along with it.

I'm enjoying my job right now and like the people I work with. Good pay, great bennies, so I figure one painful day every 3 months isn't too bad a price to pay. Annoying and a time waster though. Like, my boss knows what I did last quarter, and he damn sure should have an idea of what I should do this quarter. So why am I writing anything? LOL!