Author Topic: College Humor, Diamond rings are a scam... but you will still end up buying one  (Read 14779 times)

ch12

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Anybody who proposes to me should definitely not buy me a diamond. My name is a jewel, and of course my ring should be that jewel. It'd be like buying an emerald ring for a girl named Esmeralda, or a ruby one for a girl named Ruby. It just makes sense, and I won't have a diamond with scary provenance on my finger.

Anatidae V

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Just read the kindle sample of a book on the history of marriage. The only thing marriage can do and is consistently used for that isn't fulfilled by another set of rules etc is that it gets you inlaws. Think about that really carefully.

grantmeaname

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My "wife" and I have been together for 19 years, about 5 times the length of the average American marriage.

We never "married" in a church or government sanctioned ceremony, because we loved each other, and didn't need a church or government bureaucrat to "approve" our marriage.
Congrats on your almost 20y anniversary, but you may be overestimating how much longer you've stayed together than others. Census data indicate that the median length of marriages in the US is 8yrs* (woohoo?) that puts you at about 2.5X (assuming the median time of courtship before marriage is less than a year, which I doubt).  That makes my own 13yr/7yr anniversary close to a milestone I suppose.

*http://www.census.gov/prod/2011pubs/p70-125.pdf
Yeah he keeps coming back to this one for some reason. That 8 years number is the average length of marriages that end in divorce, too, so you only get to eight years if you ignore the majority of marriages that don't - the census doesn't publish a statistic for all marriages.
Domestic partnership/shack up/whatever you call it for ~18 years (which is what, 4-5 times as long as the average marriage in the USA?).  "Dating" for 20 years.

We don't need a piece of paper or some priest mumbling vows to keep us together.
Domestic partnership for ~19 years, which is what, 4-5 times as long as the average marriage lasts?

We never felt the need to get married, and we both have separate finances.  But we share costs and never argue about money, because we are both FI singly and as a couple.

Mr Mark

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On the scale of things, a piece of nice rock isn't such a bad buy. If the partner adores it, why not?

Diamonds aren't worthless once you've bought them, the estate will get some residual value!

which is also a great place to buy diamond rings and other jewlery - auction house estate sales. Their experienced jewelry experts will be truthful about the stone quality etc. And you can get really quality stuff for say, 30% of retail.

kyanamerinas

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On the scale of things, a piece of nice rock isn't such a bad buy. If the partner adores it, why not?

i totally agree with this. it does not excuse excessive purchases or spending when you're hair-on-fire in debt but still.
i plan to wear my engagement ring every single day for the rest of my life. i wanted something durable (i.e. not silver which doesn't hold its shape well given everyday wear) and easy to wear (bezel setting for security) but also that i love and will enjoy wearing. it will probs work out at 4c/day over my life. i am ok with that and so is my partner for something i love.

CaliToCayman

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Believe me, most men would gladly kick the diamond engagement ring tradition to the curb, it's the women who demand it and keep perpetuating the ruse.   If this ever is to change the ladies are going to have to be the moving force.

Aside from my overall dismal view of marriage, I think that the whole wedding custom has morphed into a giant sink hole for savings.  When I hear what the average couple spends on their wedding (about $27000) I shake my head in amazement.  I wonder how many of these couples will be the ones twenty years later with absolutely no retirement savings.   I normally think of myself as supportive of gender equality but again I suspect it is again the ladies that are the primary moving force behind this economic sink hole.

I couldn't agree more with your second paragraph. At this point for the sake of not wanting arguments, I grin and bear it knowing we'll still pay off $140k of student loans in less than 2 years in spite of having to spend a buttload of money on our wedding. The week itself will be a lot of fun I'm sure, but I cant help but think of how all this money we're spending could have paid off one of the student loans.

Thing is that its not just my fiance that wants it - there's pressure from everyone to do it. But all in all, a complete economic sinkhole for sure.