Choosing not to have kids in order to pursue FIRE?

[blackomen]

I know there are people on this forum who never intended to ever have kids and that's ok.

There are also plenty of people who were able to achieve FIRE despite having kids.

And the cold, hard truth is that kids will cost a lot of money and time will inevitably delay FIRE.

Still, that's not a reason not to have them, at least in my books.  Although I don't have kids now, this is one of the things that I can see myself regretting many decades from now if I choose not to have kids.

I'm curious if there are any people here who went as far as making the tradeoff between FIRE and kids.  Personally, I'm willing to live in a smaller house, drive an older car, etc. to achieve FIRE but not having kids is something that isn't worth being able to FIRE, say, a decade earlier.

[Cassie]

Being older at 64 I say to separate the 2 issues. Most people know if they want kids. Marry someone with the same values. 

[DreamFIRE]

Getting married and having kids can actually be a big benefit due to sharing living space and much lower tax rates for a given household income.

I never had kids and never wanted them - no regrets.  It wasn't about the money or tax credits for me.

Some time back, there was a thread where this was discussed.

[Basenji]

In case these are helpful (there are tons more, but these seemed closest to the OP's question).

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/anyone-decide-not-to-have-children-based-on-cost/

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/children/

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/older-childless-mustachians-what-do-you-regret/

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/having-more-than-one-child/

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/mini-money-mustaches/how-much-do-children-actually-cost!/

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/05/26/what-is-the-real-cost-of-raising-children/

[MrThatsDifferent]

Sometimes you can want children more than anything and it still not happen.

[Telecaster]

Like FIRE, having kids is a lifestyle choice.  Choose the lifestyle you want.

[soccerluvof4]

I have 4 kids and fire'd at 50. But I could never think along the lines of not having kids to Fire. As @Cassie said I would separate those two issues. If you find or marry someone with the same values you will be able to do both. Being honest I hate the statement people make that kids cost you a lot of money. I couldn't even imagine life without my kids but that was what we chose. For those that make the decision to not have kids I respect that as well. But if you think you want them and don't because of financial reasons or more to retire early that's a trade off I think you'd regret or feel for sure something is missing in your life.

[Linea_Norway]

We chose a long time ago not to try to have children. This was long before we found out that we were good savers and made vague plans to retire at 50.
I do think that in our case, not having children contributed to being able to save more and retire earlier. I think that there are other childfree couples who might want to travel the world much more and spend money on that. Also with children, you can choose not to blindly follow the rest of society and spend money in a more frugal way.

[blackomen]

Sometimes you can want children more than anything and it still not happen.

Being in that situation, that's why we're considering IVF as a last resort which is also what prompted this question since our cost of having children will be greater than most people but yet we cannot fathom a future without them, nor a future that doesn't include FIRE.

Sent from my LGUS997 using Tapatalk

[Livingthedream55]

Kids will cost some money, but not necessarily as much as the media says.

I raised two kids as a single parent with a modest income. There are a lot of frugal approaches to providing the "stuff" and the experiences one wants to give children. I asked friends and family for hand me downs (got a full nursery set up that way and practically all baby and toddler clothes for first few years). The first five years their Christmas and birthday gifts came from consignment stores, there are lots of free things to do, I limited my kids to one paid sport/activity each season, I cooked at home and sent them to school with lunches, family vacations were local or the occasional splurge trip.

My biggest expense was childcare but that's time limited and also there are always creative approaches to handling that also (work from home, nanny share, one parent goes part-time or stays at home for  couple of years, etc.)

So, like others have said, there is a lot of ways to have the lifestyle you desire.

Edited to add after reading your later post: I was unable to have kids due to cancer and my kids are adopted (which cost me close to $60,000 total) so I hear you as far as the cost for IVF. For me, it was something I knew I wanted and was pretty non-negotiable.

[Bracken_Joy]

Sometimes you can want children more than anything and it still not happen.

Being in that situation, that's why we're considering IVF as a last resort which is also what prompted this question since our cost of having children will be greater than most people but yet we cannot fathom a future without them, nor a future that doesn't include FIRE.

Sent from my LGUS997 using Tapatalk

Heyyyyyyy, members of the same shitty club I'm in! I'm about to do IVF round 3 in February. This year, we've spent over $60k out of pocket expenses. I try to be very open about my experience, what I've learned, all that. I'm a nurse and try to be an advocate on this stuff. Anyway, if you have any questions or just want to talk, feel free to post here or PM me. Also, a Resolve group if there's one in your area can be a great place to talk with people going through the same stuff. I also find that reddit.com/r/infetility, while initially super intimidating, has tons of good info and can give you a really good idea on what to expect and so forth.

IVF is certainly slowing down our time to FIRE, zero doubt there. But kids have always been the goal, and I know if we don't see this as far as we can, we'll always question what if.

That being said, there's nothing like going through the ringer of IVF to make you wonder if you really, truly, absolutely want kids. Unfortunately, my answer keeps being 'yes'. I wish that I could wish away the desire to have kids, often. It's not an easy road to walk, but when you're facing infertility... none of the options are easy.

[Maenad]

The number of people I've heard of who've given up having kids just to FIRE is... none, really. This is a straw man argument. I hear of this bogeyman over and over in anti-FIRE articles online, but that's it.

The closest I've heard is when it's clear that someone doesn't want kids, and are just looking for an excuse since "I don't want them" isn't enough somehow. When people want kids, they want kids, and are willing to retire a little later to have them.

[MDfive21]

kids can be as cheap or expensive as you want them to be.  don't want to pay for music lessons, sports, private school, college?  guess what, you don't have to!  i'm probably in the minority that believes paying for your kid's college is a luxury, not a given.  there are ways for the kid to pay it on her own.

plenty of kids, i should say most kids don't have parents that spend any significant amount of money on them.  they pay for a place to live (sharing rooms with siblings), electricity, food, and that's it.  they turn out fine or they don't but the outcome is not directly tied to money.  obviously i'm not talking about growing up in extreme poverty which comes with it's own issues.  and yes i'm aware of the college/income correlation.

plenty of kids who have parents paying for all the extras turn out to be trouble or lazy regardless.

i'm paying for a lot of extras, luxuries, because i can and because i feel like they are worth it, but if my job tanked and i had to work at starbucks my kid would grow up just fine.  we'd find other things to do, or do the same things but cheaper/free.

[Zola.]

I think that if you actually want kids  (which is sounds like you do!), and put it off until you FIRE (which may take longer than you initially hope), and you leave it too late / doesn't work out for you, that could be a really sad moment in your life which you could come to regret..

There are some things that are more important than a huge stash of money.

[KBecks]

Keep the kids but skip the pets.  ;)

[Cassie]

I always knew that I wanted kids and I have 3.  They have decided not to have kids and it has to do with freedom and not money. I totally respect their decision. I find it incredibly sad when people want children but are unable.  Now that my kids are grown I have 3 dogs. Much easier than kids:))

[Lanthiriel]

The number of people I've heard of who've given up having kids just to FIRE is... none, really. This is a straw man argument. I hear of this bogeyman over and over in anti-FIRE articles online, but that's it.

The closest I've heard is when it's clear that someone doesn't want kids, and are just looking for an excuse since "I don't want them" isn't enough somehow. When people want kids, they want kids, and are willing to retire a little later to have them.

Well, it's at least 1 :) Here I am! I married young and spent the last 10 years building a life with my husband, which has included three degrees, eight moves within four states, and nine jobs. At 30, we were finally living an (affordable) middle class lifestyle with no student loan debt, a nice house, and cars that weren't on the verge of breaking down. We figured this was when we were supposed to have kids and we just couldn't do it. We'd spent a decade scrimping and scraping for what we had and are finally in stable careers adding $50k+/year to our net worth. There's no way I could be a SAHM (I just don't have the patience) and we have worked so hard to get my husband on a real career path that I couldn't handle him giving it up to stay at home, but neither was I willing to spend upward of $1500/mo to put a kid in daycare (that money could max out a 401k!). We were both pretty apathetic on the kid front, and we just couldn't talk ourselves into it being worth the money.

I had a bilateral salpingectomy (Fallopian tube removal) in March of this year. It was a great decision. We are now saving for our first rental property while trying to decide if we want to shoot for total FIRE in 14-ish years or focus on a plan that allows us to scale back to coast FIRE and run some rental properties in the 7-ish year timeline. While of course you can't account for everything when planning for the future, it was a relief to both of us to remove the kid wildcard. Definitely the right decision for us, but also predicated on neither having a particularly strong desire to have kids in the first place.

[WSUCoug1994]

YMMV - but I can't imagine my life without my kids but I also know how lucky we are to have kids.  I am having kids later in life 45ish but I would not trade this experience for anything including my money/freedom.  I would rather work a traditional life to a standard retirement with kids than a FIRE life without them.  Luckily I was smart with my money earlier in my life (thanks dad) and I get to have both but I would agree with the other comments that they are separate items on the checklist.  Just like personal finance is personal so is your family structure/investment - which I am sure you totally understand.

I don't really see kids as expensive either.  We are lucky because we can afford for my wife to stay at home with the kids (hardest job on the planet) but kids aren't expensive unless there is some larger health/development issue.  We are going to pay for their first 4 years of college, which is clearly the most expensive part, but that is a choice we have made as a family as both of us had the same opportunity from our parents and we want to pay it forward.

I will share with you that raising kids is about 100000000000000x harder than I expected - but I love every minute of it well I love the majority of the minutes lol.

[thriftyc]

In Canada, having kids have very little hit to FIRE plans.  Actually, on a low FIRE income, the gov benefits are outstanding for families with kids. We have 3 kids, I plan on FIRING soon.  Actually, gov benefits or not, kids are expensive as you make them.

[Bateaux]

Without kids, I'd have FIRE'D long ago. 

[Hula Hoop]

Here in Italy, kids are not that expensive compared to the US and many other countries.  FT daycare was dirt cheap, summer child care is cheap and college will not be expensive either.  However, there are a lot of little things that add up - of course most of these things are optional.  For example, we love to travel but whenever we travel we need to pay airfare or trainfare for 4 people, food for 4, everything is more expensive.  Also, we pay for our kids to do things like piano lessons, gymnastics and kung fu - all of these things are inexpensive here but they still add up.


That being said, I'm one of those people who always wanted kids and I'd gladly work a bit longer to pay for kids and even pay for some of the optional extras of kids having (like piano lessons and a week at a nice sleep away camp for each kid each summer).  I can imagine that if I didn't want children I might use the expense as an 'excuse' if people gave me a hard time about it.  I have several child free friends and it's true that they have a lot more money than we do.  But different strokes for different folks and all that.

[Linea_Norway]

Here in Italy, kids are not that expensive compared to the US and many other countries.  FT daycare was dirt cheap, summer child care is cheap and college will not be expensive either.  However, there are a lot of little things that add up - of course most of these things are optional.  For example, we love to travel but whenever we travel we need to pay airfare or trainfare for 4 people, food for 4, everything is more expensive.  Also, we pay for our kids to do things like piano lessons, gymnastics and kung fu - all of these things are inexpensive here but they still add up.


That being said, I'm one of those people who always wanted kids and I'd gladly work a bit longer to pay for kids and even pay for some of the optional extras of kids having (like piano lessons and a week at a nice sleep away camp for each kid each summer).  I can imagine that if I didn't want children I might use the expense as an 'excuse' if people gave me a hard time about it.  I have several child free friends and it's true that they have a lot more money than we do.  But different strokes for different folks and all that.

In general, being bound to school semesters, makes your vacation expenses more expensive (high season prices).

One of my co-workers though, just booked a 3 week vacation to Thailand with his family. He took the kids out of school, because this week the travel fee was much lower than it will be in next week. They will be doing some school work while on the beach in Thailand.

DH and I do not have children. But for job reasons, we have always had to take our summer vacations in the school semester, because that is when the construction businesses close down and when most people with children are on vacation, therefore the company wants most people to be on vacation at the same time. So even we didn't really have the option of buying out of season vacations, as long as we are working, apart from an extra week in the fall. For our summer vacation it didn't matter much, because we always travel by car and go camping in a tent. That is cheap all year round.

[2Birds1Stone]

We never looks at kids vs. FIRE as an either/or. We simply have no desire to be parents.

Income is high enough to raise kids and FIRE in mid 30's......the lifestyle of being parents for 18 years? Yea, no thanks.

[Hula Hoop]

Linda - yes that is true. Luckily, here in Italy, the teachers are really relaxed about taking kids out of school early (so long as the kids get good grades and ours do) so we usually take our kids out of school 10 or so days early before Christmas to go on vacation.  I've heard that in Northern Europe teachers and schools are really strict about kids taking time off to go on vacation though but I guess not in Norway.

I have several colleagues who don't have kids who take their vacations during school holidays and I've never understood this. I think it's the herd mentality. At my office you could theoretically take vacation anytime.

[big_slacker]

I would think the lifestyle considerations would carry WAY more weight than financial. Kids lock down your options and energy like nothing else. Money is a thing but as others have stated can be mitigated to some extent.

[blackomen]

Sometimes you can want children more than anything and it still not happen.

Being in that situation, that's why we're considering IVF as a last resort which is also what prompted this question since our cost of having children will be greater than most people but yet we cannot fathom a future without them, nor a future that doesn't include FIRE.

Sent from my LGUS997 using Tapatalk

Heyyyyyyy, members of the same shitty club I'm in! I'm about to do IVF round 3 in February. This year, we've spent over $60k out of pocket expenses. I try to be very open about my experience, what I've learned, all that. I'm a nurse and try to be an advocate on this stuff. Anyway, if you have any questions or just want to talk, feel free to post here or PM me. Also, a Resolve group if there's one in your area can be a great place to talk with people going through the same stuff. I also find that reddit.com/r/infetility, while initially super intimidating, has tons of good info and can give you a really good idea on what to expect and so forth.

IVF is certainly slowing down our time to FIRE, zero doubt there. But kids have always been the goal, and I know if we don't see this as far as we can, we'll always question what if.

That being said, there's nothing like going through the ringer of IVF to make you wonder if you really, truly, absolutely want kids. Unfortunately, my answer keeps being 'yes'. I wish that I could wish away the desire to have kids, often. It's not an easy road to walk, but when you're facing infertility... none of the options are easy.

I'm glad that having kids doesn't take a back seat to FIRE for most people who have taken this route even if their special circumstances are gonna cost them more.

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[super hans]

I gave up of having kids after I became a teacher...
P.S. I've seen so many horrible parents that I'm scared of someday becoming like them.

[ObviouslyNotAGolfer]

Never, ever, for a single second, ever wanted a kid. I find them endlessly annoying in fact, even while, at the same time, I feel really sorry for many of them, due to their parents being horrid people. I've seen way too many examples of this.

I discovered the FIRE mindset only fairly recently, but a very large part of my motivation for remaining child-free was quality of life--sleeping in until 10:30 on the weekends (WAIT! I do that during the week too!!!), and having time for music, hiking, photography, visits to museums, dinners out, yoga, meditation, long dinners with the wife with gourmet food, wine, and good conversation, vacations whenever or where ever we want. Time to listen to music and read books. Not having to buy EVERYTHING at Safeway like my friend with kids--apparently it is too exhausting to stop at more than one store on weekends, because it takes the better part of an hour to get the snowflake out of the car with all her pacifiers, toys, stuffed animals, blankies, wipes, formula, her eight iPhones, iPads, sippy cups, etc., etc.

Now that I've discovered FIRE, hell yeah! Child-free is the way to go!

[SimplyMarvie]

We chose to have FEWER kids in order to retire early (or at all...) It's actually been a really tough choice for me. We have three boys and I really wanted to be a mother to a girl, so the natural answer would be to have one more. (Before I get crap for that, no, it has nothing at all to do with dresses and pink -- more with strong feelings about what it means to be a woman in society and wanting to share that with a daughter)

Sadly, going from three to four makes our whole life more expensive. We can no longer squeeze into a normal rental car or hotel room, which is a huge consideration for our mobile, expat family. It's another plane ticket, another spate of daycare, more college, replacing all our baby things and with me as the primary earner, another maternity leave. If we were living the way we grew up, I'd have a fourth or even a fifth in a second -- as a settled family living in a big old house and gardening, with baby things in the basement and a family to take some of the pressure off, the effects on our net worth would be minimized. But living overseas, where we have limited community and have to pay for that kind of asssitance it just doesn't pencil out.

[Kay-Ell]

Sometimes you can want children more than anything and it still not happen.

Being in that situation, that's why we're considering IVF as a last resort which is also what prompted this question since our cost of having children will be greater than most people but yet we cannot fathom a future without them, nor a future that doesn't include FIRE.

Sent from my LGUS997 using Tapatalk

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I know infertility can be really difficult. I also understand how personal the choice of how amd when and why to pursue parenthood can be so please don’t take my next statement as being flippant or disregarding of whichever choice you pursue. I just wanted to add my voice as someone who recently adopted the most perfect little girl from Foster Care for no money. Foster Care is definitely not an easy road to parenting, but it doesn’t have to be as scary as a lot of people expect either. And it definitely isn’t expensive. So if it’s something you’d ever consider, and you want to talk with someone who’s done it, feel free to message me.

[sixwings]

I am not having kids but not for financial reasons. Not having kids is the best way to reduce emissions and waste. Also their world is likely going to be pretty crappy. I'll have fun with my niece/nephew.

[Brother Esau]

I'll have fun with my niece/nephew.

This is what we do. Get our kid fix with the nieces and nephews and then go home to our clean and quiet house.

[Cassie]

SM, I also really wanted a girl. I have 3 boys. I know someone with 6 boys.  I was a social worker and was willing to adopt any of the girls that went up for adoption. None ever did. A few boys did but I wasn’t interested.  Looking back it worked out fine and my kids are long grown.  Also financially 3 kids was plenty.

[muckety_muck]

We would have fire'd several years ago for sure if we had not had kids. But they bring us the greatest joy. A new generation to guide and teach and show that money is not a taboo subject, that we can have open and honest discussions with and hopefully send out into the world as successful adults, equipped with knowledge and tools to get them through life and maybe even on their own FIRE journey if they so choose. We wish our parents had set us up with financial knowledge instead of figuring it all out on our own (and failing a few times).

We have about 4 more years to go, to cement our FIRE status. So I would say for us, we realistically lost about 8 years because of kids... and I dare not add up the cost of daycare, kids activities, etc. Because it simply doesn't matter for us. You have to do what is right for your family. Just set yourself up ahead of time to be on the best financial path - which clearly we are here at MMM so we must be right!? - and the costs incurred with kids will just work itself into your yearly financial plan. They really are very inexpensive if there's a SAHP and limit extracurricular (paid) activities to the less expensive city league sports, etc.

Good luck with your decision. I think they are worth it.

[katsiki]

Sometimes you can want children more than anything and it still not happen.

Being in that situation, that's why we're considering IVF as a last resort which is also what prompted this question since our cost of having children will be greater than most people but yet we cannot fathom a future without them, nor a future that doesn't include FIRE.

Sent from my LGUS997 using Tapatalk

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I know infertility can be really difficult. I also understand how personal the choice of how amd when and why to pursue parenthood can be so please don’t take my next statement as being flippant or disregarding of whichever choice you pursue. I just wanted to add my voice as someone who recently adopted the most perfect little girl from Foster Care for no money. Foster Care is definitely not an easy road to parenting, but it doesn’t have to be as scary as a lot of people expect either. And it definitely isn’t expensive. So if it’s something you’d ever consider, and you want to talk with someone who’s done it, feel free to message me.

+1

Thanks for mentioning foster care and adoption.

[BeautifulDay]

Hadn’t even thought about FIRE when we decided not to have kids. But financial considerations played a part.

We briefly considered kids when we were first married. But I didn’t want to have kids if I couldn’t stay home with them. Didn’t like the idea of daycare and didn’t want to step out of the workforce either. My husband was ambivalent about the whole kid thing. I think if we had a strong desire for kids, we could have found a solution. But, we just didn’t really want them.

Our life is full without kids of our own. We have 21 nieces and nephews (and counting). And we both work with at risk youth. Some of those kids have sort of claimed us as second parents.

Now our decision to work for a nonprofit makes it harder to FIRE. 😉

[SimplyMarvie]

SM, I also really wanted a girl. I have 3 boys. I know someone with 6 boys.  I was a social worker and was willing to adopt any of the girls that went up for adoption. None ever did. A few boys did but I wasn’t interested.  Looking back it worked out fine and my kids are long grown.  Also financially 3 kids was plenty.

That's what my husband said. He also pointed out that with our luck, we'd just keep having more boys and end up like the Weasley family in Harry Potter, red hair and all. Three really is a good stopping point.

[Cassie]

My kids have red hair too:))

[NV Teacher]

I have no children.  Not to get to FIRE more quickly but because I don't want to raise children.  No regrets for me.

[SimpleCycle]

There was a time when I could have seen my life going in several different directions.  I was extremely ambivalent about kids, interested in FIRE, and ready to pursue it on my own as a single person.

Then I met my wife, and suddenly I could imagine the joys of starting a family with her.  In fact, we realized it was something we were both pretty excited about.  At the same time, some of the legal and financial hurdles as a same sex couple eased.  We tried for a while without success, and like @Bracken_Joy said, nothing clarifies your desire for children more than suddenly not being sure if you can have them.  In the end we did five rounds of IVF between us (plus a last ditch miraculous IUI) that resulted in two children.  Probably $40-50k OOP to start our family, as we were lucky to have insurance coverage.

Now we have young kids, and they are definitely setting back our FIRE goal.  But to me the point of this lifestyle is to live out my values in a way that creates a meaningful life, not the way that gets me to FIRE the fastest.

Another thing I'll mention is the fertility money hurt A LOT as it was happening.  We were both early in our post-grad school careers, I was still paying off student loans and she was a postdoc.  It felt like it was going to derail all our plans and set us back a ton, but that didn't actually happen.  Our careers advanced, our investments grew, and we're at a point where we don't feel like that was a huge setback anymore.  The emotional healing from infertility is another matter, even after having children.

[AK_FED]

I'm a single 30 year old male.  I absolutely HATE it when I am talking with someone about my savings habits and they say something along the lines of "just wait until you have kids".  Financial independence and children are NOT mutually exclusive.

[FIRE47]

Although there is no way for money to be mutually exclusive from a decision like this I would hope for anyone who actually wanted kids and are in a situation where they have enough know how and  income for FIRE to be an option - money wouldn’t factor into the decision.

Having a kid is expensive but nowhere even close to retiring 20 years early.

[UndergroundDaytimeDad]

I'm a single 30 year old male.  I absolutely HATE it when I am talking with someone about my savings habits and they say something along the lines of "just wait until you have kids".  Financial independence and children are NOT mutually exclusive.

I hate these kinds of comments too. Probably these people will also say "I am so bad at math", yet passing judgement on another's competence seems logical in their view. 

I would say that FI or FIRE and kids are actually well suited together.  The lifestyle changes people need to make to achieve FIRE require discipline and motivation.  I can personally say that kids have been a huge motivator for me.  When I ask myself how I can spend more time with them, it is an easy answer to the question of "should I buy that fun shiny thing?" or have the money, invest it and buy my freedom to spend time with them. 

At least where I live, there are tons of low cost programs for kids of all ages, and if a parent is able to take them to it, you are really getting the best of both worlds.  It would cost a lot more out of pocket to have paid childcare and then more expensive programming or outings crammed in around that to have me feel like my kid is having a variety of interesting experiences. 

[phildonnia]

I have three kids, now aged 8 through 11.  The impact on my FIRE plans has been minimal.  You may have read some piece about how each child will cost $XXX,000 until they reach 18.  I have no idea where they get the numbers, and it doesn't really matter.  They assume that your little bundles of joy will wear all the latest fashions from "Buy Buy Baby", and if you're on this forum, you probably already have a visceral aversion to such places.

No, really, you'll be fine.  Have kids if you want; don't if you don't.  But the FIRE plans are not really affected one way or the other.  They weren't for me anyway. 

[hdatontodo]

It was a big deal to me when the kid was done with daycare and preschool and started kindergarten.

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[mrmoonymartian]

No, I don't think you should sell the kids into slavery in order to pursue FIRE. It might even be illegal in some states?

[sapphail]

The number of people I've heard of who've given up having kids just to FIRE is... none, really. This is a straw man argument. I hear of this bogeyman over and over in anti-FIRE articles online, but that's it.

The closest I've heard is when it's clear that someone doesn't want kids, and are just looking for an excuse since "I don't want them" isn't enough somehow. When people want kids, they want kids, and are willing to retire a little later to have them.

Spot on. I don't have kids because I don't want them, not because I'm making a trade-off for FIRE. 

[OurFirstFire]

I am FI and sort of REd with 2 kids.  Kids are a priority for me that certainly impacts FI, but there are many choices everyone makes about priorities that impact FI.  Give up running water, electricity, and social connections and your FI number could be pretty darn low.  The point is to decide what kind of life you want and size your finances to match it.  Fewer desires = quicker FI, but also fewer desires being met in your life.

The cost of having kids depends what you'd be doing without kids.  I wouldn't have a four bedroom house in a nice school district and a stay at home spouse if we didn't have kids, but probably plenty of other people without kids still have these trappings and so aren't saving too much compared to me.  Also the level of security required is dramatically different - only supporting oneself seems trivially easy to me.  If FIRE went awry any minimum-wage job would get you back to an acceptable living standard.  Maintaining a stable family household would require a decent job that could be harder to come by.

So I see kids as an expensive priority, but FIRE without priorities is empty.  But of course if kids aren't a priority, more power to you.

[MDfive21]

No, I don't think you should sell the kids into slavery in order to pursue FIRE. It might even be illegal in some states?

my wife and i chose not to have any kids... our kids are taking it pretty hard.

[JanetJackson]

I would say I am 50/50 on not wanting children due to preference AND finances.

I grew up poor, and it's had lasting effects that I would not wish on any child.  It took me YEARS and I am just now starting to live a stable low-to-middle income life and I'm able to save money.  A child would completely ruin the financial steadiness I have created and then we'd both be living at or just below the poverty line... exactly where I promised myself I'd never raise a child and where I, myself, never want to be again.

Also, I was a horrible demon as a child.  I grew up into a very responsible teenager and young adult, and am now a good grown-ass person, but I was pure evil as a kid.  I'm scared of genetics.

I also have no maternal instincts or desires.  I've never felt a biological clock ever.  I have never reached for a baby when someone showed me their baby.  I actively avoid children under 11.  I value my privacy and not sharing my life with anyone I don't choose to and I have fought one of the greatest battles of my life in order to build up my financial stability.  I am unwilling to risk that and my priorities just don't line up with a life of parenting.

I would also carry my dog 5 miles in my arms to the vet with violent diarrhea over wiping a child's nose even once.... so obviously some of it is certainly just preference. :::shrug:::