Celebrated my friend's b-day - $94

[drpassiveincome]

Train $4
Parking $7
Drink at bar $11
Dinner + Drinks $72
---
$94

I had a ton of fun - I'm just wondering what the proper Mustachian response would have been. This is what I struggle with. We split the check evenly (there was a ton of people) and ordering diet cokes at the bar at someone's bday would have been bad form.

Fortunately for my wallet I had nothing plan the rest of the weekend so I just stayed in Friday and Sunday (not a great response.)

[iamlindoro]

Splitting the check evenly is always a bad idea.  In every sufficiently large group, there will always be more than one person who wants to just pay for what they consumed, and who says nothing because they fear coming off as a pain in the ass.  If you had said "Let's just split it up by what we ate," I guarantee you would have been doing someone a favor.  Take the receipt, add up what you owe, write your last name, the last four digits of your credit card, and the amount you owe.  Pass it down the line.  Present server with stack of cards and notes of who owes what.  Easy peasy.

You paid parking, which means you drove somewhere.  Order Diet Cokes.  Excuse: "I have to drive my car home and need to get home safe. I can't afford a DUI!"

Ultimately, you've got to stop caring what other people think.  Do what's right for you with confidence, and nobody will care.  You don't even owe an explanation if you don't care to give one. If they care about what you drink or you only wanting to pay for your own food (or perhaps your food + a share for the friend having a birthday), they're assholes anyway.

[Goldielocks]

ordering diet cokes at the bar at someone's bday would have been bad form.

This is exactly a non MMM answer.    To say that you enjoyed yourself and the money was well spent, if a lot, is fine... and you know to keep the frequency low...   To spend money because of desire to not have been seen to be in "bad form" is simply not MMM.


One option next time, is to join everyone for drinks, buy a round, even, then leave before dinner, paying your share of the drinks.   MMMs don't put themselves into situations where they may feel obligated to spend more money than they intend  (relatives excluded)...

[Enigma]

It is easy for me to be MMM when I am by myself...

However, when I am around certain friends I will spend more.  I do budget this and rarely do I ever regret celebrating someone's life into this world.  You stated you had 'a ton of fun' which in my honest opinion is living a healthy life.  The Mustachian thing that you did was sacrifice your weekend to make up for the loss that day.  You choose to not do anything Friday & Sunday.  Your retirement may have been set back by a week but I as long as you don't make a habit out of the event I think you will be fine.

[ooeei]

There are obviously ways you could have reduced your spending here, but I'm not so sure it's worth it.  If you generally have your finances in order, $100 for an occasional (1-2x a year, not 1-2x a week) night out with friends isn't a big deal.  Pick your battles.  I almost never go out to eat/drink, but a friend from overseas was in town a couple weeks ago and I had no problem spending ~$150 on a day out and about with him and some friends.

The problem is when the "occasional" birthday or friend event ends up happening every couple weeks.  I struggled with that when I first started on MMM.  Each friend might only want to go do something like that every 2 months, but if you have 6 separate friends who think that, it ends up being every week or two.  I did have a few friends bitching at me "Come on, it's just this one time, you never want to do stuff!"  I finally told a few of them my position of "Yeah it's only 2-3x a year for you, but there's 4 other people saying the same thing, so it ends up being all the time"  and basically got an "Oh cry me a river" type response. 

I started inviting them over for dinner where me and my girlfriend would cook, and call them "family dinners."  The idea works well, and we do that about once a month now.  Learn to cook, and have them bring the beer.

[ender]

ordering diet cokes at the bar at someone's bday would have been bad form.

This is exactly a non MMM answer.    To say that you enjoyed yourself and the money was well spent, if a lot, is fine... and you know to keep the frequency low...   To spend money because of desire to not have been seen to be in "bad form" is simply not MMM.

Ordering a diet coke is a huge difference than water, too.

People will see ordering water as super cheap. If your friends give you a hard time (a serious one, not in jest) for ordering diet coke they probably aren't really good friends in the first place.

[2buttons]

Next time have the party at your place instead and invite people to bring adult beverages and food. People get into that sort of thing, and it can be a lot of fun.

On the other hand, sometimes the birthday party out is unavoidable and you should have contingencies in your budget that can be invested at the end of the month. 

That, or just don't go if you know its going to crush your budget.

[Inevitable]

Easy....just try not to have friends...lol

Do what you want with your money, and stop worrying what anybody thinks about it.

[I'm a red panda]

and ordering diet cokes at the bar at someone's bday would have been bad form.

Um, what? Ordering what you want to drink is never bad form.  Pressuring your friends to drink when they don't want to is bad form.
Besides, if you are splitting the check evenly, you drinking soda or water reduces the cost for everyone. Plus then they all have a DD.  As the non-drinker, I've generally found to be highly appreciated :)


I don't hang out with people who do this sort of party, because I don't value it. $100 for a night out that wasn't my choice is ridiculous to me. But if your friends do this regularly, you need to budget for it.  MMM isn't about never spending money, it's about spending it in a way that you value.

(Just wondering: Why did you need to pay for public transportation AND parking?)

[Luck12]

We split the check evenly (there was a ton of people) and ordering diet cokes at the bar at someone's bday would have been bad form.

Are people really this spineless?   I almost always order water for $ and health reasons even for celebratory occasions and if anyone gave me shit over it, I would tell them to F off.   

Some people need to learn the art of just not giving a fuck. 

[Papa Mustache]

We usually split the cost of the birthday guest and everyone else pays for their own drinks/food. Or we split an appetizer, etc too.

No reason for me to pay for non-VIP friend's mixed drink if I'm having water or iced tea b/c I don't want alcohol.

Either way I'm not likely to make a fuss over it.