Cancer. It's definitely anti-Mustachian.

[Nissykins2]

On May 12th, I was diagnosed with breast cancer after pointing out a suspicious lump to my OB-gyn at my 34-week appointment. Eight days later, I had a C-section to deliver my son (who required an eight day NICU stay), and eight days after that, I started chemo. 

Fortunately, we have no debt, we have a healthy savings account balance, we have medical insurance and an HSA, we have family that is willing to live-in to help with chores and babysitting our two kids, and we have friends who are sending everything from meals to Amazon gift cards. I hate it, though, that we are hemorrhaging money. In the past month alone I spent money on the following:

1. A larger apartment to make room for live-in help: rent increase of $400/month + increase in water/electricity (and everybody keeps turning the f*cking thermostat down when I'm not looking)
2. New daybed, bedding, towels, etc. for guests: ($2K)
3. A beautiful wig as I am so not ok with the fact that my hair is falling out : ($1500)
4. Countless tanks of gas for trips to the hospital and back
5. Various supplements, head scarves, makeup and toiletry items, magazines, tea, etc. to try to keep myself healthy/cheer myself up.

I know that this is just a bump in the road and that we will eventually get back on track. I am sad, though that our financial goals are being pushed aside by something so unexpected and scary.  Anybody else wanna commiserate about life throwing a wrench in your mustachian plans? Advice from those who have gone through something similar?

[Asgard01]

I wish you the best nissykins2. Being in the UK, I have frequently heard how being ill can bankrupt you in the states. It doesn't really happen over here which I feel very fortunate for. Of course it can still cause financial problems in other ways though.

Chris

[Worsted Skeins]

No advice but, as an official member of the I Hate Cancer Club, I want to send you warm wishes for a quick recovery.

My now college grad spent seven days in the NICU after I had a Caesarian at 35 weeks, followed by surgery a month later.  He was an expensive baby but after that initial push from medical technology he thrived. 

Sorry that you have this bump in the road. 

Mustachian kisses to your new son!

[CarDude]

Warm warm hugs and congratulations on your son! Keep the big picture in mind...yes, early retirement is nice, but health and happiness are more important. Focus on those above all.

[Gray Matter]

Hi Nissykins2 - I'm also sending you warm wishes for a speedy recovery.  You are badass--fighting cancer and raising two little ones!

One thing that has helped me is shifting my thinking from, "Spend as little as possible" to "Spend money on the important things."  This is most definitely an important thing, THE most important thing.  If you can play Jedi mind tricks on yourself, I would not look at this as "anti-mustachian" or as having gotten you off track.  This IS the mustachian track:  being able to bend and flex and deal with the inevitable financial bumps in the road.  Being able to afford the get the care you need, make sure your caregivers are comfortable, etc. without going into debt is very mustachian!

[Thegoblinchief]

Wish you the best! My mom just finished radiation post-surgery for breast cancer. I know chemo is much harder on the body, but I wish you and your new one the best.

Our first spent two weeks in the NICU. The resulting bill, even with insurance, was huge, but it was capped by our OOP max. We joked the whole year after that we we had "free" health care.

[plainjane]

Adding to the positive wishes.  Don't be so hard on yourself for this recent uptick in spending.  Instead, thank your past self for having gotten things together so that you have these options today.    That is very Mustachian. 

And then, once this difficult time has past, you can focus on the future.  But for now, focus on you and your family in the present.

[mjs111]

Adding to the positive wishes.  Don't be so hard on yourself for this recent uptick in spending.  Instead, thank your past self for having gotten things together so that you have these options today.    That is very Mustachian. 

Agreed.  This is what money is made for.  Don't be stingy here.  Best wishes on a speedy recovery!

Mike

[LowER]

I'm sorry about your bump in the road.  Another survivor here, and I was diagnosed at a young age.

Checkout stupidcancer.org.  Seriously.  I think you'll love it.

[Bateaux]

We've been down that road.  Mustachian is a survival tool when it comes to cancer.  Our son was diagnosed in 2008 with Leukemia.   My wife and he had to move out of state while I worked and lived at home with our youngest son.  We lost a 75K income my wife was making overnight.   Caregivers are a full time job.   We had the help of St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital or we could have been bankrupt.   Luckily our debts were low and we powered through.  Our son then 14 is now a college student.   
Best of luck.   Beat this beast.

[Undecided]

My father dealt with cancer in what may have been a very "Mustachian" way, but I can't say I recommend it.

[Suit]

I just want to second some sentiments already on here. 1. Kick cancer's ass! 2. Your health is one of the things that is most worth spending your stache on (maybe chat with your live in help about the thermostat but don't worry about the daybed/wig/gas, etc)

[alchem]

Nissykins2,
I am so sorry this happened to you.  I am almost finished with my year of chemo after my own BC diagnosis - feel free to PM me if you like.  We chose to accelerate our ER plans so that we could focus on things we wanted to do, not workin' for da man, and officially retired in May. We had options thanks to our frugal lifestyle.  Yes, the cost of treatment is astronomical but your health & quality of life are paramount.  How lucky you are to have help close by. 


 Go kick cancer's ass!

[lifejoy]

Hugs.

This is what money is for: the unexpected, and to make things easier.

I don't know what else to say, but my thoughts are with you :)

[Freedom2016]

Adding to the positive wishes.  Don't be so hard on yourself for this recent uptick in spending.  Instead, thank your past self for having gotten things together so that you have these options today.    That is very Mustachian.

+1

You are in a wonderful position of not having to worry about how to pay your bills on top of managing your treatment. It's a gift you gave yourself, so you can focus your time and energy on what's really important - your health and family.

(Coming from someone who was diagnosed w/ BC 2 days before my wedding...that was fun... ultimately lost a breast but I'm cancer free almost 4 years later. I wish you the best.)

[Nissykins2]

Thanks so much for all the kind words and well wishes everybody.

[marty998]

Hi

I have nothing to add but to wish you good luck and all the best.

cheers

[Sunnymo]

Hi Nissykins2,

What a roller coaster of emotions, from pregnancy to early birth while dealing with a cancer diagnosis.

I agree with other posters, health is one those areas where being un-mustachian is justified (and not in an 'I deserve it' way). You can't get back the opportunity to save your health. And being mustachian has given you the gift of not having money worries while dealing with all of the other worries that go along with cancer AND a newborn.

I have watched my cousin (age 44) go through a BC disagnosis, mastectomy, chemo and 6 weeks of radiotherapy. She has just finished treatment and is now on meds for the next 7 years. She totally rocked the headscarves while going through treatment and as a celebration of finishing treatment revealed her growing back hair (she also rocks that look).

In Australia we have a cancer support organisation called Look Good Feel Better. It holds workshops for cancer patients to help them deal with the changes in their appearance due to cancer and treatment. This can be wigs, head scarves, makeup and beauty treatments and general fellowship with others going through the same things as they are. My cousin found these sessions to be very worthwhile - is there something similar available where you are?

I have my own anti mustachian health issue - infertility. We are trying for #1 (2 years now) and after 1 year of IVF we are $19,000 out of pocket. Our gross spend is a number I don't like thinking about but health insurance and the public health system has helped out significantly.

I wish you all the best in your journeys both as a new parent and as a person who is going to beat your cancer into submission.

Take care

Sunnymo

[data.Damnation]

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. The day my wife was diagnosed was the worst day of my life. She had a lump in her throat and was diagnosed with stage II Lymphoma. That was 6 years ago. She's been cancer free for almost 5 years now.

We are thankful every day that Obamacare is in effect. Without it, we'd have no chance to retire early and we'd be forced to work until we're 65 (or later if/when the Medicare age gets pushed back). So while cancer may not be mustachian, at least we can say we still have a shot at early retirement, right?

[nikki]

Hi Nissykins2 - I'm also sending you warm wishes for a speedy recovery.  You are badass--fighting cancer and raising two little ones!

One thing that has helped me is shifting my thinking from, "Spend as little as possible" to "Spend money on the important things."  This is most definitely an important thing, THE most important thing.  If you can play Jedi mind tricks on yourself, I would not look at this as "anti-mustachian" or as having gotten you off track.  This IS the mustachian track:  being able to bend and flex and deal with the inevitable financial bumps in the road.  Being able to afford the get the care you need, make sure your caregivers are comfortable, etc. without going into debt is very mustachian!

Agreed.

I'm sending all the positive vibes I can to you now, Nissykins2.

[lackofstache]

I'm sorry to hear this, but I'm sending positive vibes to you & your family. Cancer was, in part, what spurred me to find the Mustachian community. When my wife was diagnosed we didn't have much in savings and no good way to pay for these things. Our spending went up just like yours, but we got through it & realized the need to be in a better financial spot. Be proud that you've put yourself in a financial spot to be able to deal with the things you've mentioned, don't be too hard on yourself. Good luck with everything.

[deedeezee]

Just chiming in with the chorus to send my positive thoughts & well wishes your way. 

[Beebs]

As a 5 year breast cancer survivor, I want to tell you to hang in there. :) Also that there are many programs available regardless of your income, that can provide aid to you and your family (In the US,anyway). One for example is Look Good Feel Better http://lookgoodfeelbetter.org/programs. They provide makeup tips(with a free bag of awesome samples) and even wigs for patients struggling through chemo. Another  service I was able to find was gas cards for travel to chemo provided by the Amrican Cancer Society.  There are often meal providers in many locales too. I was very fortunate to have excellent insurance that covered my treatments and it sounds like you seem prepared as well, but sometimes these little things add up and can be so very helpful. Just a thought and that there are many programs out there for people.

[Mississippi Mudstache]

Cancer sucks. Health care is always unpredictable, but it's what money is for. Keep tough, kick ass!

[SingleMomDebt]

You've said beautiful things: you have money to focus on your health, no debt, you have insurance, you have friends and family to help nourish your family and help care for the family. Being humble is often difficult when one is used to being the caregiver of the family. But you have opportunity now to see yourself back to health. And to care for your baby's health.

Sending you lots of warm wishes and hugs (and tell everyone to leave the thermostat alone!). You might consider joining a support group. There are lots of great ones out there to help you on your journey. To help you deal with the new, but unfortunate experience you are going through. (I hope that doesn't come off wrong. while I do not personally know what you are experiencing, my career focuses on healing side of cancer and treatment therapy).

PS, I wasn't sure if to mention... I watched my ex MIL go through her cancer journey. She spent a lot of her hard earned savings on "things" to help her cope with the anger and pain. Please be careful. She often resents the money spent (except her one good purchase of a very expensive, but very comfortable mattress).

[lizzzi]

Sending warm wishes and positive thoughts to you. And don't worry about spending money on well-being, healthcare, etc. That's not anti-Mustachian. As I think others have already mentioned…that's what being Mustachian is all about. So you can afford to live a better, healthier, happier, more free life. Do keep us updated about how it all goes. Blessings!

[mrsggrowsveg]

I am so sorry you are going through this.  I wish you and your baby the best of health in the future. 

[aclarridge]

Take a bit of a break from frugality; you know you'll come back to it after. Don't let it get to you.

I wish you and your family all the best!

[ABC123]

When my sister was 28 she found out she was pregnant, then soon after was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had chemo while pregnant then radiation after the baby was born. My nephew is now almost 10, and she is cancer free.  It was rough going thrugh it, but she made it and is a stronger person because of it. You can do it!