Author Topic: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?  (Read 13072 times)

tracylayton

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Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« on: February 09, 2015, 08:01:16 PM »
I am 50, and have had a best guy friend for the last 34 years. We've never dated, held hands, or kissed. We've set each other up on dates over the years. And we've always been able to discuss anything. He has never been married or had kids, but always enjoyed my three kids. We have always had a brother/sister relationship. My husband left me 6 months ago, and the divorce was final in December. We have several mutual friends that keep asking him why we're not a couple. Now, he has expressed interest in changing the direction of our relationship. Although I think he's nice looking, I can't seem to picture us dating but I wouldn't rule it out. What are the chances that a friendship could transition to a romantic relationship after this many years? Has anyone had an experience like this that worked out?

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2015, 08:24:23 PM »
I think you'll never know unless you open your mind and your heart to the possibility.  Obviously you have some chemistry or you wouldn't have remained friends for so many years.

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2015, 08:29:54 PM »
I think you'll never know unless you open your mind and your heart to the possibility.  Obviously you have some chemistry or you wouldn't have remained friends for so many years.

Agreed. Being so recently out of a marriage though, just be sure you're ready for a relationship. You wouldn't want to end up breaking up a long friendship if you're going into this because you need intimacy.

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2015, 08:30:16 PM »
Of course it can.

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2015, 08:38:17 PM »
34 years in the friend zone is a long time. Give him a chance :)

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2015, 08:38:58 PM »
It can definitely happen, but you just went through a divorce, so I'm guessing you're not ready yet.  Give yourself time to recover, and let him know you need that too.  Give him a timeframe to know when he can bring it back up, but you can bring it up sooner if you choose.  You need to adjust to your new life before adding a relationship to it.  If you choose to try it, take it slow, and you may be able to go back to friends if it doesn't work.

I'm guessing he has liked you for a while, if he's already mentioned "interest in changing the direction of your relationship."  I'm guessing he wants to give you time to recover, but he also doesn't want to lose his chance with you.  He's conflicted, so he's mentioning it now. 

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2015, 02:06:05 AM »
Sure, give it a shot. You've been friends long enough and you're mature enough so that if it doesn't work out, you can go back to being friends.

Alternatively, you can be friends with benefits and see where it goes from there.

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2015, 05:59:20 AM »
I've seen it happen in a lot of movies.  I'd probably wait a little longer after the divorce though.

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2015, 06:17:44 AM »
My husband and I were friends for 10 years before we got together. He was married to someone else for those 10 years, but then they broke up and we got together. So far, so good. :)

tracylayton

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2015, 06:40:22 AM »
Thanks, everyone. I told him that I would definitely consider it, but needed a little more time before dating anybody. I think he wanted to make sure I knew he was interested, before I started dating anyone else. I haven't really wanted to start dating yet and will probably wait several more months. On the bright side, I won't have to explain my whole life to him...he already knows me.

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2015, 06:57:44 AM »
My mother and my step father have been married for about 13 years, but they have known each other for probably 50 (since HS). They both married their HS sweethearts. My parents divorced after 20+ years and then my step father's wife passed. When they were both single...something just clicked I guess.

Like you said, it is a huge benefit to have someone around that just knows your family and your history. And for my step father's (grown) kids, it is really nice that my mother knew their mother and can help keep her memory alive. 

Its also really fun to tell people that my step father was the best man at my parent's wedding...

tracylayton

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #11 on: February 10, 2015, 07:28:33 AM »
My mother and my step father have been married for about 13 years, but they have known each other for probably 50 (since HS). They both married their HS sweethearts. My parents divorced after 20+ years and then my step father's wife passed. When they were both single...something just clicked I guess.

Like you said, it is a huge benefit to have someone around that just knows your family and your history. And for my step father's (grown) kids, it is really nice that my mother knew their mother and can help keep her memory alive. 

Its also really fun to tell people that my step father was the best man at my parent's wedding...

I like that story. I have pictures of Him attending my first wedding back in 1984, holding my oldest as a toddler in 1988, attending a third grade field trip to the zoo with my youngest in 2010...

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #12 on: February 10, 2015, 08:23:10 AM »
I like that story. I have pictures of Him attending my first wedding back in 1984, holding my oldest as a toddler in 1988, attending a third grade field trip to the zoo with my youngest in 2010...

So where was this particular guy for the last 34 years?  Did he have a similar story of getting married to someone else but staying in touch with you and your husband over the years?

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #13 on: February 10, 2015, 08:36:07 AM »
Good advice so far here.  I too would take it very slow and agree up front before even if the slightest of intimacies (hand holding, kissing, certainly sex) that if at any point it feels awkward / no-chemistry that both should be totally honest and free to back 'er up into the friend-zone again.  I'm with the person who said 34 years in the friendzone is a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time.  My feelings are that this person has LOVED you forever! 

I would probably date a few others at the same time and not get into anything too exclusive at first.  If it's right, you'll know it.  Caution and Care not to damage what you do have should be a priority for both of you.

tracylayton

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #14 on: February 10, 2015, 09:20:49 AM »
I like that story. I have pictures of Him attending my first wedding back in 1984, holding my oldest as a toddler in 1988, attending a third grade field trip to the zoo with my youngest in 2010...

So where was this particular guy for the last 34 years?  Did he have a similar story of getting married to someone else but staying in touch with you and your husband over the years?

No, he never got married. He had a super sweet girl friend for several years, but she moved away. I dated one his best friends from age 16 to 20, and he and I remained friends after the break up. I think he felt it would be wrong to date one of his best friend's old girl friends. The ex-boyfriend passed away several years ago, so I think he no longer sees that as an issue.

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #15 on: February 10, 2015, 10:53:11 AM »
I've done it twice, it worked out once (friends for 4 years, dated for 4 years, it ended for other reasons).  The other time it was just weird and didn't last too long.  We were still friends after.  I would just say take it slow and don't do anything you're not completely desiring 'just to see how it goes', that way if you decide at any point it just doesn't feel right, the friendship won't be awkward after.  Although I probably play things too safe and someone else might say to just blow through the awkwardness :-)

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #16 on: February 10, 2015, 12:25:04 PM »
Get drunk and sleep with him! That is about how a good deal of relationships start now-a-days. After you know how good he is in the sack and equipped he is you can make an informed decision.

Really you have very little to loose the guy is not going anywhere, he stayed friends though you dated his friend and all the years. Once you give him a night he won't forget, he will be all yours. He may have a doormat personality.


tracylayton

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #17 on: February 10, 2015, 12:48:55 PM »
Get drunk and sleep with him! That is about how a good deal of relationships start now-a-days. After you know how good he is in the sack and equipped he is you can make an informed decision.

Really you have very little to loose the guy is not going anywhere, he stayed friends though you dated his friend and all the years. Once you give him a night he won't forget, he will be all yours. He may have a doormat personality.

Not a door mat personality. I've always thought he hasn't settled down because he's too picky. And he doesn't drink.

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #18 on: February 10, 2015, 02:35:52 PM »
He may be a best friend, but would he be a good partner? If so, then go for it. It is rare in life to have that type of opportunity. Lot's of good advice on pacing above, but ultimately these things have a bit of a pacing of their own once they start rolling.

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #19 on: February 10, 2015, 07:39:06 PM »

Chances of a romantic relationship working out are slim to none.  You should be honest with yourself and tell your friend that you are not really attracted to him.  He will appreciate it in the long run.  He deserves a face punch if he thinks 34 years on the friend ladder is going to suddenly change.  Forward the following link to your friend.

http://www.laddertheory.com/

tracylayton

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #20 on: February 10, 2015, 08:41:10 PM »

Chances of a romantic relationship working out are slim to none.  You should be honest with yourself and tell your friend that you are not really attracted to him.  He will appreciate it in the long run.  He deserves a face punch if he thinks 34 years on the friend ladder is going to suddenly change.  Forward the following link to your friend.

http://www.laddertheory.com/

Okay, I actually read the whole, cynical link. When we were younger, I always thought he was handsome and somewhat out of my league. He never made any kind of advances toward me, and I never got the idea that he was even remotely interested. Why the friendship flourished was kind of a mystery to me. But after years of meeting for lunch (we take turns paying), I came to think of him as a great source of advice and a substitute big brother. Maybe he's always been interested in me and too afraid to take a chance on getting rejected. To be honest I would have totally been interested in him in my 20's, but he was always kind of a playboy and didn't seem interested. I think there could definitely be some chemistry and sparks...I just didn't want to ruin what I thought was a great friendship.

Annamal

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #21 on: February 10, 2015, 08:54:37 PM »

Okay, I actually read the whole, cynical link. When we were younger, I always thought he was handsome and somewhat out of my league. He never made any kind of advances toward me, and I never got the idea that he was even remotely interested. Why the friendship flourished was kind of a mystery to me. But after years of meeting for lunch (we take turns paying), I came to think of him as a great source of advice and a substitute big brother. Maybe he's always been interested in me and too afraid to take a chance on getting rejected. To be honest I would have totally been interested in him in my 20's, but he was always kind of a playboy and didn't seem interested. I think there could definitely be some chemistry and sparks...I just didn't want to ruin what I thought was a great friendship.

It sounds like you guys have an amazing friendship that has stood through a very long time, finding out you don't click romantically seems unlikely to ruin it.

It might not work but the benefits if it does are awesome.

RyanAtTanagra's advice is really good.

Dicey

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #22 on: February 10, 2015, 09:20:57 PM »

Chances of a romantic relationship working out are slim to none.  You should be honest with yourself and tell your friend that you are not really attracted to him.  He will appreciate it in the long run.  He deserves a face punch if he thinks 34 years on the friend ladder is going to suddenly change.  Forward the following link to your friend.

http://www.laddertheory.com/

I say don't listen to that man behind the curtain!!!!

I met my (now) husband in 2001 when he painted my house. He was married and had two kids. When I met him, I was rehabbing my whole house on a very slim budget. He painted the interior and then came back later to do some additional work. I recall that he teased me too much about being a vegetarian, offering to grill me a hamburger one too many times. I thought he was a big jerk. Over the years, I referred him to friends and customers a number of times and they always raved about what a great guy he was. Sadly, his wife (and high school sweetheart) died in early 2012. Not long afterward, I bought new carpet for my house (very mustachian deal, as I worked for the company). I needed to repaint, so I called him. One conversation led to another and another, and we were married on 10-11-12. I was 54 and this is my first marriage.  If you had told me then that we'd be married now, I would have bet my entire 'stache against it. To this day, I wake up with a smile on my face. I never knew being married would be so wonderful.

So, of course my answer is to go for it and ignore the naysayers. You have nothing to lose!

dungoofed

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #23 on: February 10, 2015, 11:17:04 PM »
Just to play Devil's Advocate, have you considered the possibility he's actually a cad and just looking for some action?

I feel bad for being the one who has to bring this up but alarm bells are ringing with the mention of his good looks, former playboy, etc.

Of your peer group who know him locally, what are your girlfriends saying about all this?

madgeylou

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #24 on: February 11, 2015, 05:57:21 AM »
Just to play Devil's Advocate, have you considered the possibility he's actually a cad and just looking for some action?

I feel bad for being the one who has to bring this up but alarm bells are ringing with the mention of his good looks, former playboy, etc.

Of your peer group who know him locally, what are your girlfriends saying about all this?

After 30-some years of friendship, this seems unlikely to me ...

dungoofed

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #25 on: February 11, 2015, 06:04:20 AM »
I want to agree but knowing the guys I know it's definitely not beyond the realm of possibility. That probably says something about my peer group, yes lol.


tracylayton

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #26 on: February 11, 2015, 06:38:00 AM »

Chances of a romantic relationship working out are slim to none.  You should be honest with yourself and tell your friend that you are not really attracted to him.  He will appreciate it in the long run.  He deserves a face punch if he thinks 34 years on the friend ladder is going to suddenly change.  Forward the following link to your friend.

http://www.laddertheory.com/

I say don't listen to that man behind the curtain!!!!

I met my (now) husband in 2001 when he painted my house. He was married and had two kids. When I met him, I was rehabbing my whole house on a very slim budget. He painted the interior and then came back later to do some additional work. I recall that he teased me too much about being a vegetarian, offering to grill me a hamburger one too many times. I thought he was a big jerk. Over the years, I referred him to friends and customers a number of times and they always raved about what a great guy he was. Sadly, his wife (and high school sweetheart) died in early 2012. Not long afterward, I bought new carpet for my house (very mustachian deal, as I worked for the company). I needed to repaint, so I called him. One conversation led to another and another, and we were married on 10-11-12. I was 54 and this is my first marriage.  If you had told me then that we'd be married now, I would have bet my entire 'stache against it. To this day, I wake up with a smile on my face. I never knew being married would be so wonderful.

So, of course my answer is to go for it and ignore the naysayers. You have nothing to lose!

Love your story, Dianne C!

tracylayton

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #27 on: February 11, 2015, 06:43:42 AM »
Just to play Devil's Advocate, have you considered the possibility he's actually a cad and just looking for some action?

I feel bad for being the one who has to bring this up but alarm bells are ringing with the mention of his good looks, former playboy, etc.

Of your peer group who know him locally, what are your girlfriends saying about all this?

In his 20's and 30's, he looked like Robert Redford...at 56, not so much. My sisters think the friendship is a great starting point. My mother thinks I should join a nunnery. My best friend thinks I should hold out for someone that has as much money as I do, and would prefer I date a Democrat instead of a Republican.

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #28 on: February 11, 2015, 10:30:35 AM »
In his 20's and 30's, he looked like Robert Redford...at 56, not so much. My sisters think the friendship is a great starting point. My mother thinks I should join a nunnery. My best friend thinks I should hold out for someone that has as much money as I do, and would prefer I date a Democrat instead of a Republican.

Wow. If your friends care that much about those two BS political affiliations...well, you might have other problems to worry about.

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #29 on: February 11, 2015, 12:50:18 PM »
I don't know him or you.  What I can offer is the fact that I am currently engaged to someone I was friends with for years.

tracylayton

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #30 on: February 11, 2015, 01:32:41 PM »
I don't know him or you.  What I can offer is the fact that I am currently engaged to someone I was friends with for years.

+1

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #31 on: February 11, 2015, 02:29:32 PM »
My mother and my step father have been married for about 13 years, but they have known each other for probably 50 (since HS). They both married their HS sweethearts. My parents divorced after 20+ years and then my step father's wife passed. When they were both single...something just clicked I guess.

Like you said, it is a huge benefit to have someone around that just knows your family and your history. And for my step father's (grown) kids, it is really nice that my mother knew their mother and can help keep her memory alive. 

Its also really fun to tell people that my step father was the best man at my parent's wedding...

This is cute.

My friends it's currently happening to, not so much.  (My ex got married, and cheated on his wife with wife of his best friend/best man, both of whom had been my friends.  Got caught a year ago.  Both couples have split, second divorce is still in progress.  The cheaters are together now, after denying it for about 8 months.  This is third time (of 3) that my ex has ended a long-term relationship by cheating so I don't hold out good hopes for this one working out.)

OP, it can work out, but it can also be really awkward sometimes if you try and it doesn't work out.  Give yourself some time, then go slow, and be aware you could lose the lifelong friendship (but the upside is you could gain a lifelong partner).

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #32 on: February 11, 2015, 02:46:49 PM »
I'll be crossing my fingers in this case! It sounds like you have a very solid foundation. But that's the romantic in me talking I guess! I think you should explore this (carefully) once you're ready to put your toes back in the water.

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #33 on: February 11, 2015, 02:56:13 PM »
Go on a romantic date. Make out. I've never ended up being attracted to someone who didn't turn me on initially.

I tried to date my best friend on and off again for 3yrs and it never worked. We both wanted it to, but as logical a choice as she was for me. I was far more attracted to other people. Eventually I gave up and we both met awesome partners within a year or two.

It doesn't hurt to try, but the chemistry is what's going to make or break it since you got the friendship side down pat.

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #34 on: February 11, 2015, 03:03:28 PM »
My girlfriend (22) and I (23) were very close friends for about 3 years, and now we're at another 3 years of being together.  It's not nearly the timetable you're looking at, but for us it worked out fantastically.  We already knew each other so there was no getting-to-know-you phase, no trying-to-impress BS, and no tension of the will-we? physical kind or does-she-like-me kind.

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #35 on: February 12, 2015, 02:30:49 AM »
This reminded me of an article I saw a while back http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html?smid=fb-share&_r=0

As the author says, I don't think any set of questions can make any couple fall in love if they aren't already compatible. But if you guys are, then the questions may accelerate the process.

tracylayton

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #36 on: February 12, 2015, 07:05:57 AM »
This reminded me of an article I saw a while back http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html?smid=fb-share&_r=0

As the author says, I don't think any set of questions can make any couple fall in love if they aren't already compatible. But if you guys are, then the questions may accelerate the process.

Thank you for sharing this article. I think I'll print off the questions for future use. I only glanced at them because I didn't want to formulate answers ahead of time. But it looks like they would provide a LOT of insight. I think being vulnerable is hard, but one of things that's perhaps necessary for a truly intimate partnership. If they don't know your fears and dreams and what's important to you, they can't have your back.

rubybeth

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #37 on: February 12, 2015, 07:55:05 AM »
Thanks, everyone. I told him that I would definitely consider it, but needed a little more time before dating anybody. I think he wanted to make sure I knew he was interested, before I started dating anyone else. I haven't really wanted to start dating yet and will probably wait several more months. On the bright side, I won't have to explain my whole life to him...he already knows me.

He sounds like a charming gentleman to me. He's sensitive to your feelings, has known you for a long time, and respects that you need time. But he also didn't want to lose you to someone else.

Definitely give yourself the time you need, and if you aren't interested in him romantically after that, that's totally fine. But he sounds like kind of a catch. :)

DH and I were friends in high school and college before we started dating, and I think that friendship was very important for our foundation as we became serious very quickly (we talked about marriage after dating for about a month).

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #38 on: February 12, 2015, 09:32:12 AM »
One conversation led to another and another, and we were married on 10-11-12. I was 54 and this is my first marriage. 

I started dating my boyfriend on that day! :p


OP, I say go for it too, when you are ready.

Dicey

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #39 on: February 17, 2015, 03:50:59 PM »
Get drunk and sleep with him! That is about how a good deal of relationships start now-a-days. After you know how good he is in the sack and equipped he is you can make an informed decision.

Really you have very little to loose the guy is not going anywhere, he stayed friends though you dated his friend and all the years. Once you give him a night he won't forget, he will be all yours. He may have a doormat personality.

Not a door mat personality. I've always thought he hasn't settled down because he's too picky. And he doesn't drink.

Diane C chiming in again. I was frequently accused of being too picky, primarily by people who didn't know me well.  I always knew how I wanted to feel, and I am so glad I listened with my entire being and never settled. When my one-and-only came along, he had not been a widower for very long. I knew he was the one, not entirely because of who he was, but what we became when we spent time together. I decided to follow my heart and haven't regretted it for a single moment!

You mentioned money in another comment. I had a higher income and more money saved going into my marriage. When we combined forces, the total was shocking. We can't believe how much we have now! I joke that I have a rich husband, he says he has a rich wife. We're both right. More detail: I had enough to RE on my own, but due to concerns over the cost of healthcare (I've had cancer) I was afraid to pull the trigger. His job includes free healthcare (Zero premuims, no deductibles and ridiculously tiny co-pays for the whole family.), so I finally pulled the trigger on the job, with his encouragement. Being FIRE is everything I hoped it would be and more.

Go in with your eyes open and don't be afraid to take a chance. Where you end up could be beyond your wildest imagination.

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #40 on: February 18, 2015, 04:18:13 PM »
My best friend is a woman. She's smart, funny, very attractive and I love and care about her enormously. But.... I know her well enough to know that we could never, ever, live together. If we ever end up both single (something that seems unlikely), I won't consider pursuing a romantic relationship for a second.

I tend to be pretty cynical about "love." I think most of the time 2 people who are friends could easily turn their feelings romantic if they put the effort into it. But to actually be together long term, there are many practical concerns that for me are far more important than "chemistry."

You have known this guy a long time. Do you actually think you could work as a couple long term?

BPA

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #41 on: February 18, 2015, 04:25:18 PM »
My relationship started out as friendship.  He was married when we became friends and we started dating six months after he and his wife split.

He is my best friend and we get along great.  And this is the longest relationship I've ever been in. 

Good luck whatever you choose.

tracylayton

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #42 on: February 18, 2015, 09:09:35 PM »
My best friend is a woman. She's smart, funny, very attractive and I love and care about her enormously. But.... I know her well enough to know that we could never, ever, live together. If we ever end up both single (something that seems unlikely), I won't consider pursuing a romantic relationship for a second.

I tend to be pretty cynical about "love." I think most of the time 2 people who are friends could easily turn their feelings romantic if they put the effort into it. But to actually be together long term, there are many practical concerns that for me are far more important than "chemistry."

You have known this guy a long time. Do you actually think you could work as a couple long term?

When my family has asked why we've never dated, I've always said that he would drive me nuts. He is a little OCD and an anxious person. After seriously thinking about it for a week, I realized that my gut instinct is still correct...he is wound a little too tight for me. I told him that I just couldn't see us ever being a couple, but that I would always have his back. I think friendship is what we're destined for and I didn't want him to have any false hopes.

NICE!

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #43 on: February 19, 2015, 12:55:46 AM »
You could still be FWB if you're into that sort of thing.

tracylayton

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #44 on: February 19, 2015, 07:44:27 AM »
You could still be FWB if you're into that sort of thing.

If he has feelings for me that aren't returned, then I would just be using him. I would never use a friend. Also, I've never had casual sex or sex that didn't involve romantic feelings...I don't know if I'd enjoy that??

Annamal

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Re: Can A Longterm Friendship Turn Into A Romantic Relationship?
« Reply #45 on: February 19, 2015, 10:32:50 AM »
You could still be FWB if you're into that sort of thing.

If he has feelings for me that aren't returned, then I would just be using him. I would never use a friend. Also, I've never had casual sex or sex that didn't involve romantic feelings...I don't know if I'd enjoy that??

I think this is probably wise (and if casual sex doesn't appeal it is probably not worth seeking out)