Budgeting for family health issues/travel

[lightmyfire]

Coming to the end of a real shitstorm of a summer, I'm pondering some new budget questions. I was wondering how you all approached making changes to your budget when health crises emerge.

Most of my family lives in Minnesota, which is a pretty long haul for me (20 hour drive or about $400 round trip plane ride, plus kennel fees, etc.). I generally make the trip twice a year, but already this summer I've been out there 3 times. I made it out in July, and was very fortunate to visit with my 100 year old grandmother the day before she died. I had to drive back up a week later for the funeral. During that visit, we found out my dad's recent weird health issues are related to liver cancer, and his only recourse is to have a transplant. Dad's health is now extremely touch and go, and he's going to need that transplant ASAP (living donor is a possibility). I did my homework regarding family/medical leave and may use that depending on how things go. In the meantime, my mom's been struggling with Stage 4 ovarian cancer for a couple years. My dad's been her caretaker, so obviously it's all very up in the air. My brother and sister live nearby, but I would like to do what I can to help out and obviously go back out there if things go downhill.

Obviously finances are not my primary concern at this time (this is what the emergency fund is for, I guess), but in terms of longer planning I am kind of wondering how to approach it. Thoughts? Do you just chalk it up to emergency spending, or try to budget?

[pbnj]

So sorry to hear of the loss of your grandmother and your parent's health problems.  I hope your parent's do well.  While the extra travels can certainly present a financial burden it sounds like you have the funds to cover it.  I suppose my plan would be to continue to plan for additional trips as well as potential monetary contributions for their care when you can't be there.  It is not likely that you will regret any trips out there regardless of the expense; but quite likely you will regret not going.  You can recover the savings in the future.  Your time with your parents is limited and you you will never get that back.  Go.  Make some memories to cherish and you will truly be rich.  The mustachian lifestyle is about thoughtful consideration of how we spend our time, talents, treasures, and resources. 

I wish you the best.  You have a tough road ahead.

[sjc0816]

I'm so sorry as well.

My 40 year old brother has cancer and it has had a huge impact on our budget and frankly our opinions on extreme saving in general. I travel often to be with him as well as traveling across the country with him for clinical trials, etc. He is single so doesn't have a spouse or girlfriend to support him.

We just make it work and do it without incurring any debt. Life is short and I choose people over money so as long as it's not a major hardship, just maybe tighten up other areas in your budget to allow for the additional travel. We are able to make it work and still save plenty for retirement....although not early retirement. It's all good.

[anotherAlias]

Personally I don't worry about it too much these days.  I'm getting close enough to my own retirement that I have the resources to accommodate spur of the moment trips home.  My folks are both in their 70's and my father's health is not great but I have enough in my savings and after-tax accounts that I can absorb alot of travel and time off if needed.  I'm not sure where you are at in the ER saving continuum but the farther along you get, the less big deviations in normal spending seem to matter.  As an only child living in another state from her folks, I know that I will have a huge undertaking at the point that they have to move out of their house of nearly 50 years.  So my approach is to save as much as I can as fast as I can and pray that I'm retired before I have to clean out that house or deal with big health crisis. 

[RedmondStash]

Concerns about unexpected health issues are why I don't consider us FI yet, even though we're there by the 4% rule. So what we're doing is working longer (sort of OMY) to build a bigger buffer. We're older -- 50s and 60s -- and have both already been through some health crises, so we're not in a position to expect 30+ years of great health and increasing financial security before a big, expensive health issue becomes likely.

There's the "what we actually spend now" budget vs. the "worst case, expensive medical stuff, long term care, home nursing help, travel for medical help" budget. I actually don't know how to calculate the latter because there are so many unknowns. I figure having the flexibility to add $10k to $20k to our annual spending for a couple of years can only help, and the longer we have before an expensive crisis, the more time we have for that nest egg to grow.

So the short answer is, we delay RE to build in a buffer.

[lightmyfire]

Concerns about unexpected health issues are why I don't consider us FI yet, even though we're there by the 4% rule. So what we're doing is working longer (sort of OMY) to build a bigger buffer. We're older -- 50s and 60s -- and have both already been through some health crises, so we're not in a position to expect 30+ years of great health and increasing financial security before a big, expensive health issue becomes likely.

There's the "what we actually spend now" budget vs. the "worst case, expensive medical stuff, long term care, home nursing help, travel for medical help" budget. I actually don't know how to calculate the latter because there are so many unknowns. I figure having the flexibility to add $10k to $20k to our annual spending for a couple of years can only help, and the longer we have before an expensive crisis, the more time we have for that nest egg to grow.

So the short answer is, we delay RE to build in a buffer.

This is a good point. This experience has caused me to think differently about my buffer fund. As a single person with no dependents and a pretty stable job, I call it an opportunity fund more than an emergency fund, and now that opportunity is spending time with the people I love when it matters. I did not expect to be facing all this so suddenly with my relatively young (60s) parents, but here we are. It can happen that way to anyone at any time.