So is it really that people prefer auto-oriented suburban life, or is it that most folks are forced into it because that's basically all anyone has been allowed to build in the last 75 years?
Nobody is being forced to live 30 miles from downtown Dallas on what was probably a cow pasture last year. People choose it as their perceived best option. There are certainly cheaper ways to live than renting an SFH in the middle of nowhere, including apartments and condos that are likely right near where they work. But that's not the choice people make. The choose the house in a less dense area rather than higher density housing in a higher density area.
The other issue that attracts people to neighborhoods of new builds is the conscious or unconscious desire to culturally sort. The people who are going to be the first renters of those houses 30 miles from Dallas aren't going to be a cross-section of the population, they're going to be of a demographic and cultural type. Whether it's retirees or new parents, I bet we all know people who have been attracted to a new community because it's full of people just like them.
I can imagine someone saying that this just begs the question of whether all of what people find attractive about new builds couldn't be preserved while also bringing the neighborhoods down to human scale with 50 foot lots and 1500 sq ft houses instead of 250 foot lots with 3000 sq ft houses. I guess it's possible, but I see absolutely zero energy in that direction. No municipality wants to be the one with all the cheap, small houses providing a ton of social services to a large population for relatively lower tax revenues. The municipal incentive is to maximize tax dollars per capita, not reduce them. No state is interested in resolving metros' collective action problem for them by banning minimum lot or house sizes because they see it as a metro issue, and people who genuinely want large houses and lots don't want small houses and lots near them dragging down their property values. All those issues, plus a big dose of apathy, exist at the federal level.
I think expanding towns and cities on a livable and affordable scale is a great idea, I just think there are way too many social and structural forces pushing against it happening.