I have always thought of trying hard to appear proper/posh to be a middle class thing. Actual rich people don't care about appearances nearly as much. Why should they? They're rich! In that sense the rich and poor are alike: secure in their own place.
You say this a lot, and every time I fervently disagree with you.
I spend a lot of time with very wealthy people, and I've even known billionaires who care deeply, DEEPLY about appearances.
In fact, among the rich, the insecurity about appearances can be far more profound.
Maybe we hang out in different circles. The rich people I know (family net worth $5m-$10m) don't seem, to me, to care much. They might have a nice car or a nice house or one or the other but they are cool about it.
Perhaps once you get to the really rich (NW $20m+?) it flips? I could see that happening because, whilst prudent financial choices and sound investment plus a high salary can easily get your net worth into the 6 figures or even low 7 figures, to go beyond that you need to LOVE THE CHASE FOR MONEY.
Well, we are living across the globe from one another, so I suppose it's possible our samples are different, lol.
Still, my point was that you can't generalize about how secure people feel based on their wealth. Feeling secure in your place in the world is a personal characteristic, not something conveyed by a NW amount.
What I take issue with is the generalization that being wealthy confers greater sense of self and confidence in people in general. It does not.
That's why I so dislike the Betty/Veronica dichotomy. The Betty type is down to earth, kind, and modest, but deeply insecure. The Veronica type is fiercely and unapologetically confident, but a terrible, terrible person a lot of the time.
I don't dislike the TV show version of Betty, that chick gets shit done, but she's borderline homicidally insane, so there's that issue.