This isn't a commute vehicle, correct? IMO there is no reasonable commute vehicle that can do what you're looking for.
As long as you're going to use it for actual 4x4, high clearance, and hauling shit instead of commuting 20 miles each way to an office job then there's nothing wrong with getting the right vehicle. In this case sounds like you're looking for a used 1/2 ton pickup truck with 4wd. Would recommend finding one with skid plates and an appropriate rear differential (limited slip, traction control, or e-locker). Kids fit fine in an extended cab. Throw a camper shell on the back and you have the ultimate camping/hunting setup. One to two people can roll into an area and sleep in the back. For more people you can easily haul lots of camping gear to your private 4x4 accessible dispersed campsite. For camper shell setups I prefer a carpet liner over the hard plastic as it's easier on the knees and gear doesn't slide around. If, after having kids, you decide you don't want a tent on the ground then you can add an off road tent trailer.