Author Topic: Attitude change  (Read 3935 times)

payitoff

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Attitude change
« on: January 28, 2014, 11:19:07 AM »
Being a mustachian kinda changes a lot of your behavior with spending, but does your attitude change with some of your friends too?  i just noticed i try to become less sociable, i even stopped communicating with a long time friend that lives life on the edge all the time, loves nice things and goes in debt to get them, lives looking rich but she shows me a printscreen of the bank balance showing to be $16 till next payday and laughs about it, i used to laugh about this too, but now its like we dont share the same frequency anymore.

schimt

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Re: Attitude change
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2014, 11:31:51 AM »
I struggle with this, as i think most people on these forums would also, but i think it is very important to evaluate how much those people's friendship means to you and balance your life and finances. To me, my friends are very important to me, even though they have very simular lifesstyles to the one you described. It is worth me going out for drinks with them still and to enjoy our time together. I don't go on as many ski trips, or buy new toys as them, but we still enjoy our time. The concept of frugality has even come up a few times as they noticed i have sold most of my "toys" and i can't say they agree and plan to follow in my foot steps (at least yet...maybe one of them will agree someday), but they accept me regardless and do not bother me about the topic, for the most part. If the friend you are talking about is a true friend, he/she will will do the same for you if you are honest with them.

I just read this post from ZenHabits and topic it could be applied to this situation, where he is talking about judging someone for their health, a lot of us could apply the same concept to the way others manage their finances.

http://zenhabits.net/judgy/

MrFancypants

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Re: Attitude change
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2014, 11:34:12 AM »
I generally just try to turn it back around on them.  If I get questioned for driving a cheap car and trying to keep my expenses low, I respond with questions regarding their spending habits and debt. I also like to ask the question "do you intend to work until you die?"

I find that most people haven't thought more than a year or two down the road.

payitoff

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Re: Attitude change
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2014, 12:07:03 PM »
I struggle with this, as i think most people on these forums would also, but i think it is very important to evaluate how much those people's friendship means to you and balance your life and finances. To me, my friends are very important to me, even though they have very simular lifesstyles to the one you described. It is worth me going out for drinks with them still and to enjoy our time together. I don't go on as many ski trips, or buy new toys as them, but we still enjoy our time. The concept of frugality has even come up a few times as they noticed i have sold most of my "toys" and i can't say they agree and plan to follow in my foot steps (at least yet...maybe one of them will agree someday), but they accept me regardless and do not bother me about the topic, for the most part. If the friend you are talking about is a true friend, he/she will will do the same for you if you are honest with them.

I just read this post from ZenHabits and topic it could be applied to this situation, where he is talking about judging someone for their health, a lot of us could apply the same concept to the way others manage their finances.

http://zenhabits.net/judgy/

this is a wonderful link, thanks for sharing! he's right on when he said "dismiss a friend to save me from frustration" this is exactly how i feel, i feel frustrated how some chose to live a life that way, but i guess they get satisfaction from it, the same way i get from saving money.

golfer44

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Re: Attitude change
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2014, 12:44:09 PM »
I generally just try to turn it back around on them.  If I get questioned for driving a cheap car and trying to keep my expenses low, I respond with questions regarding their spending habits and debt. I also like to ask the question "do you intend to work until you die?"

I find that most people haven't thought more than a year or two down the road.

This is a great way to handle friends if you don't want to keep them... yikes! ;)

MrFancypants

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Re: Attitude change
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2014, 12:47:47 PM »
I generally just try to turn it back around on them.  If I get questioned for driving a cheap car and trying to keep my expenses low, I respond with questions regarding their spending habits and debt. I also like to ask the question "do you intend to work until you die?"

I find that most people haven't thought more than a year or two down the road.

This is a great way to handle friends if you don't want to keep them... yikes! ;)

If they're challenging your financial decisions in that way do you really want to keep them?  If they can't handle the question being reversed then was it polite for them to ask the question in the first place?

How I actually respond depends on the attitude they approach me with.  If they're trying to bust my balls for not driving a shiny new BMW as opposed to if they're genuinely curious as to why I would choose the path I have, in which case I would go with a more informative response.  If they're trying to bust my balls, I'm going to bust back.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2014, 12:50:30 PM by Mykl »