People talk about the power that comes with having FU money, but right now it almost feels like more of a burden to me.
I've never not liked my job. It was never my dream, but it pays the bills and is allowing me to achieve my dreams. Pursuing FI was always more about chasing the freedom than trying to escape the grind.
I've been chugging along at my company for about 15 years, just doing my thing and happily going about my business. About every 3-5 years I tend to get a little bored so I took a new position at Megacorp this year, thinking it would be my last as I played out the string for a couple more years. Decent team, manager I have worked well with in the past, and a newly created position that looked like a natural fit for me doing work I would enjoy.
Unfortunately, my department suffers from quite a bit of shiny object syndrome and an overall lack of leadership (the leaders are too busy trying to be the workers and nobody can make a decision with 50 people weighing in). It never really impacted me before, I could still find my ways to get things done. But the shiny objects this year have undercut the resources that this new gig was going to rely on to be productive. I can't get anything accomplished and it's driving me insane. It makes it even worse that nobody seems to care whether I get anything done or not.
So needless to say it hasn't worked out the way it was supposed to and as a result I've been finding myself more and more miserable at work lately. I'm in uncharted territory, and part of me feels like if I didn't have what I have, I'd be a good little soldier and just deal with it. But today I found myself on the verge of sending my boss a career changing kind of email (my company doesn't exactly embrace brutal honesty...it's a conservative old school kinda place) and even after I thought better of sending it, I spent the rest of the day debating whether I should just call it a career and quit. I've dreamed of retiring many an afternoon, but never quitting.
I've never considered myself to be a quitter, I always find a way. Kinda wish right now I didn't have that easy button right there begging me to tap out - the option feels like a burden because I don't want to consider it until it's time. Anyone else feel this way? Or do I just need to take a deep breath, go for a hike, and chill the eff out.