Author Topic: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?  (Read 17050 times)

Nissykins2

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 32
I bought a car yesterday. We had been in the market for a new (used) car. I had exhaustively researched the car I purchased. I got everything I wanted, right down to the color. I should be thrilled. Instead, I've been sick to my stomach all day. This happened when we signed the papers on our house. It happens every time we go on a nice vacation. I feel like I am so sad to see the money go, and I'm mourning all the things it can no longer be used for. I'm also always afraid I will find something I like better the next day. Does anybody share this affliction? Any advice for actually enjoying all my wonderful stuff?

neo von retorch

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4918
  • Location: SE PA
    • Fi@retorch - personal finance tracking
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2017, 04:47:55 PM »
In for answers.

Not to this extreme, but as someone that bought all the trucks your parents warned you about as a kid, I've had some "buyer's remorse", and I'd like to feel better. And not feel that next time...

Mezzie

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 816
    • Mezzie Learns
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #2 on: March 28, 2017, 04:49:49 PM »
I've generlly thought out big purchases, so I feel fine after those. It's the little things I quickly realize I don't need that bug me.

VeggieTable

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 143
  • Location: GA
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #3 on: March 28, 2017, 05:47:10 PM »
Nissykins, I know what you mean. I wouldn't say I feel physically sick, but I do question myself constantly about if it was the right decision. I recently bought some new chairs for our dining room, from Ikea of all places - not exactly expensive. I had spent weeks scouring Craigslist looking for something I liked and finally decided I'd buy the Ikea ones. They were only $35 each, bought 4 of them - even so, I have been questioning if I should've kept surfing CL. Part of it is that, at this point, buying anything *new* makes me feel like I'm contributing to the huge collection of garbage in our landfills.

The way I get around regretting purchases is to be very familiar with stores' return policies and use them liberally. I quite frequently return items I'm not happy with weeks later. I'll keep the tags/packaging on as long as possible to make a return as easy as possible. Obviously this won't solve the problem of regretting a car purchase, but I think you did the right thing in researching extensively and making the most educated decision you could. If it turns out to be a dud, you can always chalk it up to a learning experience. If you think of it that wa, any money lost isn't a complete waste.

Miss Prim

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 409
  • Location: Michigan
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #4 on: March 31, 2017, 01:33:00 AM »
Not me, but my husband does after every large purchase.  Years ago I bought a hot tub (face punch me please!) with $5000.00 worth of winnings from a sweepstake plus $2000.00 of our own money.  I had to drive home from the store because my husband crawled in the back of the car clutching his stomach!  He is better about large purchases now, but in the past he has always felt sick after purchasing something expensive.

So yes, you are not alone!                                 Miss Prim

Monocle Money Mouth

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 719
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #5 on: March 31, 2017, 03:26:50 AM »
I don't feel ill, but I do feel anxious making large purchases.

ETwagon

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 22
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #6 on: March 31, 2017, 10:47:19 AM »
  Bad stomach ache from about $400-$999. Once I hit 4 figures I grab a waste basket and vomit blood.

chemistk

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1739
  • Location: Mid-Atlantic
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #7 on: March 31, 2017, 11:28:44 AM »
I've been dealing with a bout of this recently.

For a while, my wife and I have wanted to start biking locally (previous apartment had no space for a bike, did not allow bikes to be chained to the pillars in front of the apartment) but neither of us have bikes - facepunch me, please!. Well, she does - the bike she used as a teen was still at her parents' and is in serviceable condition. I've long since worn out every bike I've owned. So, I'm in the market. I've been surfing the 'list for a few weeks and the local pages are just dead for what I'm looking for. Average 25-35 new listings a day, half of them kids' or BMX bikes. Local bike shops are too pricey for someone who only is going to be a casual, 3-5 mile per trip rider towing a kid in a trailer. I've been anxiously browsing new entry-level bikes and the thought of spending that money does not make me feel good.

How much? $600 for a bike & accessories (trailer, helmets, lights, etc.). I grabbed a trailer off NashBar with their April Fools' sale but still am fearing spending a few hundred on a bike for myself. A bike! What am I turning into!?!

It's hit me with other things - lately I lose sleep on anything over $100 that isn't something I need to survive.

I've come to realize that it's a side effect of a frugal lifestyle - cheapness (some also call it "analysis paralysis") - the need to make the most efficient, optimized choices all the time. The need for all the facts, no ambiguity, and no ill consequences of your decision. In my case, I could get a $10 junker wal-mart used bike that has broken brakes and a bent handlebar, and I could live with the choice knowing that I get so save some more $$$ for my future self. But, will my future self appreciate the back pain and cuts/bruises from the junker bike over a lightweight, functional bike that fits? Most likely not.

Using tools & skills learned here, anyone can buy a junker car, or a foreclosed house and with enough muscle and determination make it work and come out ahead. But will you appreciate yourself afterwards? Will the payoff be there? Probably not.

I guess it's ultimately what separates those who are comfortable with the frugal lifestyle, and those who can't or won't do it. Frugal folks have to be talked into spending money; many others need to be talked out of spending money. More often than not, I have to ask my wife to talk me into buying something that I logically know is the right choice.
« Last Edit: March 31, 2017, 11:38:42 AM by chemistk »

Lanthiriel

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 803
  • Location: Portlandia
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #8 on: March 31, 2017, 11:41:33 AM »
I'm more prone to analysis paralysis before I made the decision, then once it's actually done and can't be undone, I feel a sense of calm. I just booked a vacation to Europe a couple of weeks ago, and was doubting whether I wanted to spend the money (totally sold on the vacation) right up to the minute that I booked everything. Now I'm just really stoked to go to Europe.

Johnny Aloha

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 315
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #9 on: March 31, 2017, 11:49:55 AM »
Depends ... I will agonize over which loaf of bread to buy, but not hesitate for a second to put an offer on a real estate purchase that fits my criteria, even if the real estate is 400,000 times more expensive than the bread.

MarioMario

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 95
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #10 on: March 31, 2017, 12:14:01 PM »
If I exhaustively research a big purchase.  Plan for it, and buy it in cash... I feel great about it!

And you should to, that means you are making the smart decision that most can't!

checkedoutat39

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 74
  • Location: The mountains
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #11 on: March 31, 2017, 01:07:41 PM »
I swear I go through the five stages of grief. In the acceptance phase I kind of get excited. The money's mentally spent and I get to have a shiny new(/used) thing.

boarder42

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 9332
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #12 on: March 31, 2017, 01:15:09 PM »
this happens to me at restaraunts when we go out on vacations and such.  we used barclay money on the last trip in hawaii to pay for a nice dinner at the resort restaraunt.  was 200 dollars covered 100% by barclay card but still that meal wasnt 200 dollars worth of value in my life.  But it gave me a great story b/c we sent a bottle of wine back.  first time i've had sour wine poured.

Nissykins2

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 32
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #13 on: April 01, 2017, 05:57:38 AM »
I swear I go through the five stages of grief. In the acceptance phase I kind of get excited. The money's mentally spent and I get to have a shiny new(/used) thing.

I love this. I was driving around in the new car yesterday, and actually enjoyed it, thankfully. Thanks so much for the ideas and insight, everyone!

RobFIRE

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 277
  • Age: 40
  • Location: UK
  • Projected FIRE May 2020
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #14 on: April 02, 2017, 02:54:02 AM »
I can't say that I feel physically sick over purchases. But that's because for any non-standard purchase I will normally research the options and prices beforehand, only go ahead if I consider it is worth it, so I tend to be successful in only having spending that I find afterwards was worth it for me.

In addition to doing reasonable research (though I do try to keep this in proportion, if you have the choice between A and B and the price difference is only $2 or £2 or so and it's an item you only expect to buy infrequently, then clearly it's not worth spending more than a few minutes in considering), I will consider how many hours of work it will take to earn the cost, and how much use/enjoyment/security I would get from the item. When considered in those terms even ostensibly expensive or premium items can be well worth it if they would be used often, or clearly a waste if they would rarely be used and a cheaper option could cover it. For physical goods at least I will also consider what the cost of purchasing and changing my mind will be: some items are small so cheap to post and hold value well, so you can reasonably expect to resell that item if you change your mind for only ~10% of the purchase cost plus postage. Whereas other items immediately lose value or have postage costs nearly as high as the item value, so I will consider that with those sorts of items I would have a high cost of changing my mind.

In the past I have made some unnecessary purchases, though nothing too expensive. Fortunately I do look after items and retain original boxes etc., so have mostly been able to resell them, even years later, and sometimes even at a profit.

marty998

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7372
  • Location: Sydney, Oz
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #15 on: April 02, 2017, 04:06:59 AM »
Depends ... I will agonize over which loaf of bread to buy, but not hesitate for a second to put an offer on a real estate purchase that fits my criteria, even if the real estate is 400,000 times more expensive than the bread.

I do this too...I did not blink when I dropped $468,000 on an investment property 3 years ago.

I umm and ahh over a $5 purchase at the local cafe.

Lenify

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #16 on: April 04, 2017, 12:02:21 AM »
I bought a car yesterday. We had been in the market for a new (used) car. I had exhaustively researched the car I purchased. I got everything I wanted, right down to the color. I should be thrilled. Instead, I've been sick to my stomach all day. This happened when we signed the papers on our house. It happens every time we go on a nice vacation. I feel like I am so sad to see the money go, and I'm mourning all the things it can no longer be used for. I'm also always afraid I will find something I like better the next day. Does anybody share this affliction? Any advice for actually enjoying all my wonderful stuff?
Just bought a used car as well. Love it dearly. Still hurt watching the cash flow out.

Gunny

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 227
  • Location: Northeast Alabama
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #17 on: April 06, 2017, 04:09:52 PM »
Standing by for face punch.  I LOVE boats.  I've owned nine boats in my life, more counting canoes and kayaks.  Having said that, I've always bought a good used boat.  But it's been my dream to just walk into a marine dealership and write a check for a new boat of my choice.  I did it a month ago.  I've been wanting a new bay boat to fish the local lakes and rivers.  I picked the one I wanted after much research, then drove five hours to save 3k on the boat.  I wrote a check and drove off with it.  I felt a little guilty at first, but then realized a couple of things.  Boating and fishing are my two major passions.  I love being on the water.  The boat purchase represented less than 3.7% of my net worth.  With proper maintenance this boat could last me the rest of my life.  My family loves the boat. I pinched, saved, lived an otherwise frugal lifestyle to be FIREd.  I don't feel bad about the purchase now.  I'm pleased with it.  Life is about balance.  Mustashianism is about balance. 
« Last Edit: April 06, 2017, 04:12:34 PM by Gunny »

Edubb20

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 69
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #18 on: April 07, 2017, 11:45:06 AM »
I don't feel ill, but I do feel anxious making large purchases.


This.  Sometimes it borders on upsetting my stomach.

PiobStache

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 204
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #19 on: April 07, 2017, 11:47:55 AM »
If it's a large purchase I've already done the mental math and concluded the outlay of the money is more than compensated by the need of the product.  I buy without regret or pain.

DoubleDown

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2075
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #20 on: April 07, 2017, 12:51:15 PM »
No. Honestly, because I've been thoughtful about saving money in my life and have enough of it, if I feel anything at all when spending money it's pride and gratitude at being so blessed to be able to spend money freely as I need or want to.

I'd respectfully offer that anyone feeling sick or anxiety over spending money should revisit their relationship with money. As stated earlier, money is a tool to be used. I don't feel any more remorse about spending $5000 than I do using a hammer to drive some nails. If you are thoughtful about saving money, and thoughtful about spending it when necessary, you should feel NO remorse. If you are feeling bad about spending money, I think it can boil down to only two reasons:

1. You are spending money you cannot afford and your remorse is a signal you are doing something you shouldn't be. This would be mainstream consumers spending beyond their means, and probably not the case for the OP or most people here.

2. You are too emotionally attached to keeping money and need to recognize that when you have enough of it, it is there for you to use (probably the case for most people here). It's maybe a very distant cousin to hoarding tendencies or similar anxieties. Examine your feelings about money, and let it go.

marielle

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 860
  • Age: 30
  • Location: South Carolina
Re: Anybody else feel physically sick buying something expensive?
« Reply #21 on: April 07, 2017, 12:53:45 PM »
Not physically sick, but maybe a sense of anxiety or dread. Sometimes I'll even research the same thing right after buying, feeling like I missed a better deal or something I would have liked better. Expensive to me being more than $50 or so...Never bought a car or house with 100% my own money.

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!