Any psychology counselor website forum?

[neonlight]

Hi,

Does any of you know any counseling website? I've always grown up with a fear of speaking to certain people, like some people have with spiders, illogical but due to childhood experience.

I wonder if there are any good counseling websites or forums, especially self-help or helping each other kind.

Thank you so much.

[TheFrenchCat]

I don't personally have any go to's, but a quick google found this list:  https://www.mastersincounseling.org/resources/web-forums/  Scroll down to the mental and physical health ones for what seems like the most relevant to me.

However, in my unprofessional opinion, if possible, you really may want to look into therapy.  Particularly exposure therapy can be extremely helpful in conquering fears.  It's a systematic therapy designed to desensitize people to phobias, and it's among the most successful kinds of therapy out there, if I'm remembering correctly from undergrad.  If therapists are among those you're afraid of speaking with, would teletherapy be a more comforting option?  It might help give a feeling of distance which I hope could help, if that's the case.

If you're really looking for a DIY approach, then practicing mindfulness might be helpful.  It can be very effective in dealing with anxiety in general, which might help.  There are good workbooks out there; I used "A Mindfullness Based Stress Reduction Workbook" and found it helpful.  I think there may be meditations on youtube you can follow as well, though I don't know how good they are.

If it were me, I'd call my doctor for a referral to a counselor.  And please do NOT take anything I said as a diagnosis or absolute fact.  I'm no where near qualified to do that, and even if I were, I couldn't from a forum post.

[neonlight]

I don't personally have any go to's, but a quick google found this list:  https://www.mastersincounseling.org/resources/web-forums/  Scroll down to the mental and physical health ones for what seems like the most relevant to me.

However, in my unprofessional opinion, if possible, you really may want to look into therapy.  Particularly exposure therapy can be extremely helpful in conquering fears.  It's a systematic therapy designed to desensitize people to phobias, and it's among the most successful kinds of therapy out there, if I'm remembering correctly from undergrad.  If therapists are among those you're afraid of speaking with, would teletherapy be a more comforting option?  It might help give a feeling of distance which I hope could help, if that's the case.

If you're really looking for a DIY approach, then practicing mindfulness might be helpful.  It can be very effective in dealing with anxiety in general, which might help.  There are good workbooks out there; I used "A Mindfullness Based Stress Reduction Workbook" and found it helpful.  I think there may be meditations on youtube you can follow as well, though I don't know how good they are.

If it were me, I'd call my doctor for a referral to a counselor.  And please do NOT take anything I said as a diagnosis or absolute fact.  I'm no where near qualified to do that, and even if I were, I couldn't from a forum post.

Thanks for the link and the book recommendation.

[neonlight]

https://www.psychologicalselfhelp.org

Highly recommend

Thanks, to the chapters and forums in it.

[SunnyDays]

Former Behaviour Psychologist here.  Scrunchythief is right.  This is a manifestation of social anxiety, and I would bet you also have other ways this shows itself.  Exposure therapy is the way to go.  You could check out a book called The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook if you want to try DIYing it.  Desensitization hierarchies aren't hard to create, you just have to be willing to actually put yourself through them.  If you want professional help, look for someone who does behavioural work.

[weeblesim]

Hi neonlight,
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling. I'm usually a lurker on here, but I couldn't just read and run with your post. I'm an accredited Cognitive Behaviour Therapist in the UK. I agree with previous posters that it sounds like you are presenting with social anxiety. However, I'm going to respectfully disagree with SunnyDays about the treatment they suggested, as exposure therapy alone does not work for this presentation and we certainly don't implement this strategy in the UK. Exposure is a big part of the treatment, but cannot be done stand alone without some significant prep and exploration of cognitions first.

This has been discussed in academic literature quite extensively, but for easy reading, please see some articles below:
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/why-behavioral-therapy-alone-does-not-work-social-anxiety
https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/treating-social-anxiety-disorder

I would highly recommend this book as a good self-help guide:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Social-Anxiety-Shyness-2nd/dp/1472120434/ref=asc_df_1472120434/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310973726618&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=2502450667587823376&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006626&hvtargid=pla-416959137050&psc=1&th=1&psc=1

However, if possible I would find yourself a therapist who is trained to treat social anxiety. I often recommend the above book to my patients to sit along side therapy and the two together have great outcomes.

I hope that helps.

[neonlight]

Former Behaviour Psychologist here.  Scrunchythief is right.  This is a manifestation of social anxiety, and I would bet you also have other ways this shows itself.  Exposure therapy is the way to go.  You could check out a book called The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook if you want to try DIYing it.  Desensitization hierarchies aren't hard to create, you just have to be willing to actually put yourself through them.  If you want professional help, look for someone who does behavioural work.

Thanks SunnyDays, appreciate the forthright suggestion.

I think of myself of a driven and discipline person, enjoying a good career. Though I do have my dark fears related to social settings though people tend to think I am sociable and high EQ, this might also be a reason why I normally don't maintain close relationships - to cover up my unconscious fears.

[neonlight]

Hi neonlight,
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling. I'm usually a lurker on here, but I couldn't just read and run with your post. I'm an accredited Cognitive Behaviour Therapist in the UK. I agree with previous posters that it sounds like you are presenting with social anxiety. However, I'm going to respectfully disagree with SunnyDays about the treatment they suggested, as exposure therapy alone does not work for this presentation and we certainly don't implement this strategy in the UK. Exposure is a big part of the treatment, but cannot be done stand alone without some significant prep and exploration of cognitions first.

This has been discussed in academic literature quite extensively, but for easy reading, please see some articles below:
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/why-behavioral-therapy-alone-does-not-work-social-anxiety
https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/treating-social-anxiety-disorder

I would highly recommend this book as a good self-help guide:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Social-Anxiety-Shyness-2nd/dp/1472120434/ref=asc_df_1472120434/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310973726618&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=2502450667587823376&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006626&hvtargid=pla-416959137050&psc=1&th=1&psc=1

However, if possible I would find yourself a therapist who is trained to treat social anxiety. I often recommend the above book to my patients to sit along side therapy and the two together have great outcomes.

I hope that helps.

Thanks Weeblism, I spoke to a church counselor over 15 years ago, and again 3 years back to a trained counselor, it help sooth the worry somewhat but it never healed.

I don't know if it's worth mentioning, but I usually appear confident and sociable, including handling public speaking.

But I struggle when I meet a certain type of people, it's like a switch that turns on if I find a person with a certain background that immediately makes me inferior. This either turn into ignoring the person, or behaving overly friendly (trying to appeal), which I think it signs of inferiority.