American visiting the UK - advice on practical matters please

[Sibley]

Lots of very practical, knowledgeable people on here and I'd appreciate some feedback on the family trip to the UK. Here's an overview of the plan.

4 people:
--Mom - mobility slightly impaired, needs a cane and walks slow. Cognitively ok but not good enough to let her wander on her own.
--Dad - mobility is fine, cognitively impaired and very much not ok to wander on his own. Should be fine with family.
--Sister - better traveler than I am, the whole trip was her idea, she's fine. Will drive but not in London.
--Me - grumpy, gets lost but can then get unlost. Not driving on the wrong side of the road at all.


16th -19th - Fly into London (LHR), land VERY early morning 16th. In London until 19th afternoon/evening, take train to Bath.
20th - in Bath, tours
21st - Stonehenge and Chalk Horse (tour) and Highclere Castle (tour)
22nd - train to Oxford. Renting a car here.
23rd - Blenheim Castle, via car. Family then splits up. I take train back to London, the rest stay in Oxford that night.
24th-27th - I'm in London, then the 27th I'm taking a train to Aberdeen and stopping at Hadrian's Wall on the way. Meet up with the rest of the family in Aberdeen.
24-27th - mom, dad, and sister are puttering around Buckinghamshire, exploring, etc. Loosely planned, I believe they want to go to a hardware store and other such mundane places. There will likely be genealogy related things as well. They're taking the train to Aberdeen on the 26th, exploring on the 27th.
28th - Scotland bus tour, base is Aberdeen.
29th - train to Stirling, see Stirling Castle, staying somewhere in the area
30th - in Edinburgh, not sure how we get there though, exploring the city
31st - Edinburgh tour
1st - flight home (from Edinburgh)

That's the rough plan.

Questions:
Critiques on the plan?
Best payment methods? We've got visa and discover cards right now. From my googling, discover is not widely accepted, visa probably is. Is mastercard common?
I say "take train", but I don't actually know for sure what the method of transportation is, besides not a private vehicle. If there's decent sources to help navigate all the public transit, please share. I'm pretty sure GoogleMaps does transit, but if there's something better that's great.
General tips or things to think about?
At least some of the hotels will have mini-fridges, so how's the grocery store work in the UK?
Notable differences in restaurants, manners, customs, etc that would be nice to know?
Is it weird if I ask the restaurants what kind of tea they serve so I can try to buy some to take home?

[Poeirenta]

I use Rome2Rio a lot to suss out  transport options, then go to the train/bus website to see how the actual schedules/routes/stations fit my itinerary.

Chips are french fries, and biscuits are cookies, but you probably knew that! I love collecting the various US/UK equivalents...watch out how you use the word "pants"!

Sent from my SM-G973U using Tapatalk

[Paul der Krake]

Grocery stores work the same way everywhere in the developed world. You pick stuff on the shelves in exchange for money.

Visa and Mastercard will be accepted everywhere. Amex and Discover less so.

No major differences in restaurant etiquette aside from much smaller tips.

Google maps will tell you which train company to buy tickets from.

[beekayworld]

\
Chips are french fries, and biscuits are cookies, but you probably knew that! I love collecting the various US/UK equivalents...watch out how you use the word "pants"!

Sent from my SM-G973U using Tapatalk

Yes, and the people wanting to visit a hardware store need to search for an "Ironmonger".

[former player]

Lots of very practical, knowledgeable people on here and I'd appreciate some feedback on the family trip to the UK. Here's an overview of the plan.

4 people:
--Mom - mobility slightly impaired, needs a cane and walks slow. Cognitively ok but not good enough to let her wander on her own.
--Dad - mobility is fine, cognitively impaired and very much not ok to wander on his own. Should be fine with family.
--Sister - better traveler than I am, the whole trip was her idea, she's fine. Will drive but not in London.
--Me - grumpy, gets lost but can then get unlost. Not driving on the wrong side of the road at all.


16th -19th - Fly into London (LHR), land VERY early morning 16th. In London until 19th afternoon/evening, take train to Bath.
20th - in Bath, tours
21st - Stonehenge and Chalk Horse (tour) and Highclere Castle (tour)
22nd - train to Oxford. Renting a car here.
23rd - Blenheim Castle, via car. Family then splits up. I take train back to London, the rest stay in Oxford that night.
24th-27th - I'm in London, then the 27th I'm taking a train to Aberdeen and stopping at Hadrian's Wall on the way. Meet up with the rest of the family in Aberdeen.
24-27th - mom, dad, and sister are puttering around Buckinghamshire, exploring, etc. Loosely planned, I believe they want to go to a hardware store and other such mundane places. There will likely be genealogy related things as well. They're taking the train to Aberdeen on the 26th, exploring on the 27th.
28th - Scotland bus tour, base is Aberdeen.
29th - train to Stirling, see Stirling Castle, staying somewhere in the area
30th - in Edinburgh, not sure how we get there though, exploring the city
31st - Edinburgh tour
1st - flight home (from Edinburgh)

That's the rough plan.

Questions:
Critiques on the plan?
Best payment methods? We've got visa and discover cards right now. From my googling, discover is not widely accepted, visa probably is. Is mastercard common?
I say "take train", but I don't actually know for sure what the method of transportation is, besides not a private vehicle. If there's decent sources to help navigate all the public transit, please share. I'm pretty sure GoogleMaps does transit, but if there's something better that's great.
General tips or things to think about?
At least some of the hotels will have mini-fridges, so how's the grocery store work in the UK?
Notable differences in restaurants, manners, customs, etc that would be nice to know?
Is it weird if I ask the restaurants what kind of tea they serve so I can try to buy some to take home?

Visa and mastercard will get you everywhere, as long as you have a chip and pin version rather than one needing a signature on a slip of paper.  For purchases under £100 contactless, when you just hold the card over the machine, is almost universal now but not essential.

Trains: this is the site for National Railways which gives you all the timetables and lets you buy tickets. 

https://www.nationalrail.co.uk/

Generally the further in advance you can buy tickets the cheaper they are, so this is worthwhile on longer journeys.  Tickets bought in advance are for specific trains and if you miss the train you may need to buy new tickets, so be certain of your plans and timings if you are going to do this.

Be aware that London has a lot of different stations.  Trains to Bath go from London Paddington, which is also where the fast train from Heathrow will land you (there are also slower tube trains from Heathrow with more destinations).  Trains to Aberdeen go from London King's Cross (the Harry Potter Platform 9 3/4 station).  It is probably worth buying all the tickets to Scotland in advance if you are certain of the days and times.

To get on a train you just rock up to the train station.  You can buy tickets at the station, or if you have bought in advance then you can get your tickets printed out at the station using the card that bought them and a code you have been given.  The printed out tickets get you through the barriers onto the platform but there will always be someone at the barriers to help.  Unless you are splashing out you don't need first class but if you are then it will be more comfortable for the long journeys up to Scotland.  One tip is that if you are eating on a dining car on the train (not so many trains do this now but excellent when they do) then you can use this even with a second class ticket.  Otherwise all the big stations have mini supermarkets and takeaways where you can buy food and drink for the train and there will probably be a buffet on the train too.  One thing to look out for are train strikes: I don't think there are any planned for your dates at the moment but that could change.

For moving around London buses and the tube are best and you need either a contactless credit/debit card or an Oyster card - https://oyster.tfl.gov.uk   If the four of you are travelling together then for journeys within London a London black cab hailed off the streets is a reasonable option and very easy and safe.  Uber is also available in London.

We are quite nice people really, and the places you are going to will be accustomed to American tourists.  There are a lot of strikes at the moment because of issues with the government but unless there are train strikes or you get ill (please try not to get ill and have travel insurance in case you do) they probably won't bother you much.  The emergency telephone number for police and ambulance is 999, health queries dealt with on 111.

I hope you all have a lovely time.

[uk_american1]

Agreeing with the useful advise from @former player advised about trains. Also:

1. The 'book early' suggestion is very valid, prices don't generally get any cheaper as you get closer to the date, they just go up. Look at 'ticket splitting' websites as a way to book cheaper trains, especially on longer distances (you don't need to book your ticket through them but you can see the routing). Ticket splitting involves buying 2 or more tickets instead of 1 for your route as different private companies run different routes or along parts of the network. It can be a less expensive way to travel as company X may have point A to point B and then company Y has point B to point C and it's less expensive to buy A to B and B to C than it is to buy one ticket from A to C. This is legal and ok AS LONG AS you follow the routing rules. So if a train needs to go through point B to get that price point, you go through point B. You do not need to get off the train, it's just necessary that the train stops there and your theoretical journey could have see you get on/off there. The ticket splitter websites probably explain that better:

https://www.splitmyfare.co.uk/

2. If you are doing a lot of rail travel or big distances, it may make sense to get a rail card for discounted ticket prices even though you're only here for a short time. You can buy it online and have it digital on your phone when you  upload a picture. They have some limits of when you can travel but you'll probably be doing those 'off peak' travel times as tourists:  https://www.railcard.co.uk/?gclid=CjwKCAiA2fmdBhBpEiwA4CcHzd9OptXhhiQYkBaZUQSWpeLKoOv1pipYo3-lJ2FE7vut8Os6974QKxoCdIcQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

I am an American who has lived here over 10 years, UK people are generally welcoming and curious about Americans and you'll have no problems, especially in tourist areas.

[Dave1442397]

Make sure your credit cards don't charge foreign transaction fees.

Also, when shopping in the UK, if the merchant asks you if you'd like the amount charged to your card in dollars, say no. That's a sneaky way for them to charge currency conversion fees on your purchase.

[dcheesi]

Visa and mastercard will get you everywhere, as long as you have a chip and pin version rather than one needing a signature on a slip of paper.  For purchases under £100 contactless, when you just hold the card over the machine, is almost universal now but not essential.

Unfortunately, most Americans still only have chip & PIN on our debit cards; the CC issuers almost universally standardized on chip & signature here.

[daverobev]

There are strikes at the moment, assuming you're talking about this January.

Trains cost a packet, yes booking in advance will save you a small fortune.

Tap to pay works in most places. In the supermarket etc you will be able to sign. The only places you may have issues are unmanned kiosks that are not tap to pay.

Yes, Discover is almost useless. It might work in BP petrol stations and Marks & Spencers. That's about it.

Mastercard == Visa for acceptance. Anywhere that takes one will also take the other. Anywhere large will also take Amex (inc. Lidl in the UK).

To me, that seems like a very packed schedule, especially if you are with older people. I would be tempted to take the train less and rent a car for longer.

There are a lot of roundabouts (traffic circles), and of course the roads are narrower, and towns are more full. Look out for parking restrictions, there are lots. Note you can park facing whichever way round on each side of the road, you don't have to park following the flow of traffic.

I would argue that directions on the roads are pretty good but you may find they emphasize the town over the road number, so it is certainly worth checking a map ahead of time and familiarising yourself with the route...

You can pick up SIM cards very cheaply at corner shops. Eg something like https://mobile.lebara.com/gb/en/best-sim-only-deals/c/simo-contract

[kenner]

Visa and mastercard will get you everywhere, as long as you have a chip and pin version rather than one needing a signature on a slip of paper.  For purchases under £100 contactless, when you just hold the card over the machine, is almost universal now but not essential.

Unfortunately, most Americans still only have chip & PIN on our debit cards; the CC issuers almost universally standardized on chip & signature here.

Check with card issuer...the couple I have from Barclays all had pin available starting at least a couple years pre-pandemic (it might have been further back, but that was when I went to Europe and needed to make sure it was set up), and I want to say Citi had the option too. 

[Sibley]

I knew you guys would come through!

No clue about chip and pin, will ask the credit card companies.

Trip is in May. We were going earlier, then the coronation got scheduled and we rescheduled for afterwards.

Good to know about train tickets, will let my sister know and we will try to get things booked soon.

Sister is in charge of phones, and many logistics. The plan is packed yes, but we're also doing what we can to make it easier. Lots of tours by companies, etc, building in slow mornings, early nights, etc.

Oh, we're going to have to do laundry. How might this work? The easy version, I'd rather not spend a day at a laundromat.

[RetiredAt63]

Visa and mastercard will get you everywhere, as long as you have a chip and pin version rather than one needing a signature on a slip of paper.  For purchases under £100 contactless, when you just hold the card over the machine, is almost universal now but not essential.

Unfortunately, most Americans still only have chip & PIN on our debit cards; the CC issuers almost universally standardized on chip & signature here.

Seriously?  Chip and PIN or tap (tap is usual for small amounts, up to $200 or so) is pretty standard in Canada.  That is for the standard CCs, MasterCard and Visa.  I had no problems 3 years ago using my CCs in Australia and New Zealand.

Signature?  I haven't done that in decades!

[zhelud]

A radical suggestion- with 2 mobility impaired parents, one with cognitive issues, why not stay in one location, like London?  London is full of stuff to do and see and is within day trip distance (on a train) of a lot of other places like Oxford, Canterbury, etc.
Not having to keep packing and moving two older people from place to place will probably make up for any sights you miss. And if they get tired during the day you can bring them to your home base to nap while you go out and do something else.

[darknight]

A radical suggestion- with 2 mobility impaired parents, one with cognitive issues, why not stay in one location, like London?  London is full of stuff to do and see and is within day trip distance (on a train) of a lot of other places like Oxford, Canterbury, etc.
Not having to keep packing and moving two older people from place to place will probably make up for any sights you miss. And if they get tired during the day you can bring them to your home base to nap while you go out and do something else.

Not knowing the OP's situation, I'll agree with this.. Having traveled to a few different countries (Asia, Europe, & NZ), travel takes a big toll on even healthy young adults!
OP- if your sister is dead set on doing it all, great. If it were me I would also look at simplifying everything. After living abroad in Asia I had my parents come over for a visit for 10 days. We visited 2 cities and that was plenty sufficient for their experience. 1 day in Beijing, the rest in central China (by train, where I was living). I've found for myself that jet lag kicks in at day 2-4. I'll feel absolutely fine the day I arrive, even the next, but then BAM I need an additional half day to sleep in/go to bed early and have extra food and coffee :)

Europe is a wonderful place to visit, as others have mentioned pre-plan and pay if possible so you can avoid treacherous lines for tickets etc.

Have fun, those are some awesome memories to make. My parents 50s/60s still talk about their travel abroad all the time.

[Turtle]

You mentioned that your father has cognitive issues.  Are they the wandering sort of issues? If he and your mother need an extra rest/nap during the day, can he be trusted to stay put if he wakes up first and your mother is still napping? 

Airtags or something similiar - you may want to tuck one into something your dad always carries if there's any chance of getting separated.  Or if he's good about carrying his phone, make sure it is sharing location with the rest of you.

Google street view -- very handy to get an idea of what places look like in the areas where you are going.  Hotel, rental car pickup, tour bus pick up spot, etc, so that you know what buildings you are looking for and possibly any landmarks near by.

Genealogy -- printout of the known data/locations of everyone they may be wanting to look up in their travels.  (Saves on having to use data/possibly not have connection.)  Screenshots or documents saved to the phone would also work.  If they are interested in going to the churches where any baptisms/weddings occurred, it would be useful to look those up in advance.  Google street view would help with those as well.

[Zoot]

Check out First Tech Credit Union for true chip and pin credit cards.  I got one before a trip to the UK, France, and Belgium back in 2017 and it was a godsend.  It might be too late to get one before your upcoming trip, but it's definitely a good thing to have in your bag of tricks if you intend further international travel.

[tygertygertyger]

Weird tip - if you open a Schwab brokerage account, it comes with a checking account. The debit card with the checking account has no foreign transaction fees.

I assume this is still the case (I know you'll do your own research), but it definitely saved me and my friends lots of fees when we went to Europe! I didn't even add any money to the brokerage account for years... it just sat empty. The debit card is also Mastercard.

[daverobev]

Visa and mastercard will get you everywhere, as long as you have a chip and pin version rather than one needing a signature on a slip of paper.  For purchases under £100 contactless, when you just hold the card over the machine, is almost universal now but not essential.

Unfortunately, most Americans still only have chip & PIN on our debit cards; the CC issuers almost universally standardized on chip & signature here.

Seriously?  Chip and PIN or tap (tap is usual for small amounts, up to $200 or so) is pretty standard in Canada.  That is for the standard CCs, MasterCard and Visa.  I had no problems 3 years ago using my CCs in Australia and New Zealand.

Signature?  I haven't done that in decades!

The USA is the only place I know of that chose chip & sig. Tap makes it a non-isse most of the time. Anywhere with a person, the till will just print out a slip to sign. I use US credit cards here in France no problem. Canadian ones, too!

[lhamo]

A radical suggestion- with 2 mobility impaired parents, one with cognitive issues, why not stay in one location, like London?  London is full of stuff to do and see and is within day trip distance (on a train) of a lot of other places like Oxford, Canterbury, etc.
Not having to keep packing and moving two older people from place to place will probably make up for any sights you miss. And if they get tired during the day you can bring them to your home base to nap while you go out and do something else.

+1,000,000

I would ask yourselves over and over:  what is the REAL purpose of this trip.

If it is to spend time and make positive memories with your parents on what may be the last opportunity for them to have a grand adventure, think about what best suits THEM and THEIR needs/desires at this stage in their lives.  It may be simply seeing/catching up with/sharing memories with relatives they have not seen in many years.  Focus on that.  The touristy stuff is nice but will pale in comparison to the opportunity to observe them all reliving what childhood memories they may still have.  Record as much of that stuff as possible.

We did a mini-UK trip with SO and DD to attend my school reunion a couple of years back.  Jetlag was a beast the first couple of days.  We were glad we had a nice place in semi-central London that had some 24/7 shops and restaurants (we were near Euston station so the tube from Heathrow was very convenient).  We didn't plan ANYTHING in advance for those first few days, basically would go out and walk/explore for 1-4 hours then come back and rest, then go out again.  Favorite bits were some excellent meals, a discounted matinee show (Les Mis -- SO fell asleep), and the nighttime bus tour (I went by myself because I couldn't get the other two to wake up).  Then we took the train to Wales for my reunion.  Had a fabulous morning wandering around central Cardiff after that (wished we had spent longer there) then a couple of days wandering around Oxford.  Back to London and caught one more discounted show (Wicked) the night before our flight home.  Whole trip was about 10 days and we took it pretty easy but I still found all the moving around exhausting.  It was nice to see Oxford but if I could do it over again I would have spent 2-3 days in Cardiff and the rest just bopping around London.   

[Dreamer40]

Oh, we're going to have to do laundry. How might this work? The easy version, I'd rather not spend a day at a laundromat.

I bring one of these laundry soap bars when I travel (cut it in half if you want to save on space, you won’t need the whole thing). I also bring a plastic soap saver thing to air dry the bar on between uses.
Ethique Flash! Multi-Purpose Solid Laundry and Stain Remover Bar - Plastic-Free, Vegan, Cruelty-Free, Eco-Friendly, 3.52 oz (Pack of 1) https://a.co/d/1fCC7tD

It suds up super easily to wash clothes in a hotel sink, wring out, then hang to dry in the bathroom or somewhere in the room (assuming it’s not dripping). I wash a few items whenever I get to a hotel that I plan to sleep in for at least two nights in case drying takes a while. It seriously only takes 5 minutes to wash some clothes, much faster and less hassle than a laundromat.

Though a laundromat isn’t terrible if you find one next door to a nice cafe or restaurant. You can wash everybody’s stuff at the same time and even have multiple loads going at once, if needed. I have great memories of eating pasta on a patio in a small town in Italy while my husband and I took turns occasionally crossing the plaza to check on our laundry.

[PDXTabs]

28th - Scotland bus tour, base is Aberdeen.
29th - train to Stirling, see Stirling Castle, staying somewhere in the area
30th - in Edinburgh, not sure how we get there though, exploring the city
31st - Edinburgh tour
1st - flight home (from Edinburgh)

I'm a bad British-American and I only ever hang out in Scotland. This plan checks out, I was in Aberdeen four months ago and enjoyed it. I purchased most of my tickets ahead of time on the ScotRail phone app.

I noticed that some ATMs would do the currency conversion for you (at a horrible rate) while others would let you withdraw GBP and let your bank do the conversion. For my Schwab account it was a much better deal to withdraw GBP and let Schwab do the conversion. I think that Royal Bank of Scotland let me do this.

Someone who is more British than I am can chime in, but I try to always carry some cash because it is customary to tip perhaps 10% for sit-down dining, but often if you pay with a credit card there will be no option to leave a tip. As others have mentioned tap-to-pay is the standard and is even used on some city buses like the Lothian system in Edinburgh.

Oh, we're going to have to do laundry. How might this work? The easy version, I'd rather not spend a day at a laundromat.

For my last trip I mostly dealt with the washing machines and drying racks in Airbnbs. But I did actually find a full service laundrette in Mallaig of all places. They had by clothes washed, dried, and folded in two hours. It was however expensive. I dropped my clothes off and came back to pick them up later. YMMV

EDITs for clarity and spelling
EDIT2: if you have time to see the National Museum of Scotland in Edinburgh it is worth it (also the view from the roof).

[nedwin]

In crosswalks look to the right first, not the left.  This is especially important to remember when you're all bleary eyed from a long flight

[jrhampt]

Just a note on the rental car - when we rent a car in Europe and/or the UK, we always pay extra for a navigational system.  Some have built ins, but not all, and they will rent you a garmin or something.  Totally worth the money if you're planning on driving anywhere at all; you'll spend way less time getting lost.

[Sibley]

A radical suggestion- with 2 mobility impaired parents, one with cognitive issues, why not stay in one location, like London?  London is full of stuff to do and see and is within day trip distance (on a train) of a lot of other places like Oxford, Canterbury, etc.
Not having to keep packing and moving two older people from place to place will probably make up for any sights you miss. And if they get tired during the day you can bring them to your home base to nap while you go out and do something else.

The purpose of this trip is my sister wanted to do a family trip, mom has wanted to go to England for about 60 years, dad just wants to have a good time with family, and I'm nuts enough to go along with it.

I agree, it's a lot of moving around. Every single stop is something mom REALLY REALLY wants to see, except for Scotland which dad wants to see since his family is Scottish and we're flying out of there. Yes, it's going to be some level of disaster. We know that, but this is what mom wants. That's why there's 2 competent adults on the trip. The few days I will be splitting off is so that I don't snap and murder someone, and also they will be confined to a vehicle.

Dad doesn't wander. His executive functioning has taken the biggest hit, so he might be overwhelmed but he'll just follow along. We've dealt with this on previous occasions. He'll be fine walking around with periodic breaks and they won't be staying up late. Mom's cognitive issues are more to do with decision making and shouldn't be an issue for the trip itself. Her deciding where she wanted to go/do was the problem, the initial list was more than excessive. My sister handled most of that. Physically, she'll be limited on how much she can walk, the cane will help but we're also planning ways to try to assist/minimize.

There will absolutely be slack built into the schedule so that they can stay at the hotel and rest if needed. Dad doesn't like sitting in the hotel, mom will need to at times.

Location sharing is a good idea, I'll look into that. Not just for dad, but for all of us.

Genealogy print out - um, you are massively underestimating the quantity of genealogy information that mom has. That's why they're wandering around Buckinghamshire actually, there's a good chunk of ancestors that lived there so I think mom is hooking up with a local from one of the genealogy sites who can point out the sights. There will be graveyards I'm sure.

[Catbert]

If you have a Fidelity account check on your debt card (or get one).  They do the currency conversion for you at a better rate than you'd otherwise get.  They also will reimburse you for ATM fees (double check your account - this may only be for accounts with assets over a certain level).  Pre-pandemic the only credit card company I found with chip and PIN was Barclays.  I only really needed it at unmanned ticket kiosks.  Today with tapping may not be necessary.

I do suggest rethinking your itinerary.  My DH and I are in our 70s and in generally good physical shape.  Only one of us has noticeable  cognitive impairment.  We took a Viking Nile river cruise with most time staying on the ship and a few days in a Cairo hotel.  Viking takes good care of you starting with meeting you at the airport, providing transportation and a guide everywhere and all meals are sorted.  It was exhausting!    While we've never been to England so I can't relate to all the distances, this sounds very stressful for an older person not to mention the people in charge of them. 

[sonofsven]

In crosswalks look to the right first, not the left.  This is especially important to remember when you're all bleary eyed from a long flight

Ha, this was my first thought as well. I remember a funny Trailer Park Boys episode about this.

[former player]

As I read the proposed itinerary for Sibley's parents:

Overnight flight to the UK
3 nights in London
3 nights in Bath
2 nights in Oxford
2 nights in Buckinghamshire
3 nights in Aberdeen
1 night in Stirling
2 nights in Edinburgh
Flight out.

It's not actually that bad.  London to Bath is an hour and a half on the train, Bath to Oxford is less, Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire are right next to each other, so it's basically at least a week in much the same sort of area - distances in the UK are not like distances in the USA.  And Stirling is only 40 miles from Edinburgh so those three days also fit together.  I've met Americans trying to do the whole of Europe in 10 days, this itinerary is nothing like that level of madness.

If moving hotels often would be a problem, then depending on where in Buckinghamshire is of interest it might even make sense to stay in Oxford for 4 nights.  And the train between Stirling and Edinburgh only takes an hour, so it would be possible to have three nights in Edinburgh with a day trip on the train to Stirling if that would be easier than a night in Stirling and two nights in Edinburgh.

[scottish]

Can you drive a stick shift?   It's very hard to get a rental car with an AT in the UK.

[Sibley]

Can you drive a stick shift?   It's very hard to get a rental car with an AT in the UK.

I won't be driving at all. My parents won't be driving. My sister is not driving in London, only in less populated areas. That's her problem, but I will mention it to her.

[Sibley]

As I read the proposed itinerary for Sibley's parents:

Overnight flight to the UK
3 nights in London
3 nights in Bath
2 nights in Oxford
2 nights in Buckinghamshire
3 nights in Aberdeen
1 night in Stirling
2 nights in Edinburgh
Flight out.

It's not actually that bad.  London to Bath is an hour and a half on the train, Bath to Oxford is less, Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire are right next to each other, so it's basically at least a week in much the same sort of area - distances in the UK are not like distances in the USA.  And Stirling is only 40 miles from Edinburgh so those three days also fit together.  I've met Americans trying to do the whole of Europe in 10 days, this itinerary is nothing like that level of madness.

If moving hotels often would be a problem, then depending on where in Buckinghamshire is of interest it might even make sense to stay in Oxford for 4 nights.  And the train between Stirling and Edinburgh only takes an hour, so it would be possible to have three nights in Edinburgh with a day trip on the train to Stirling if that would be easier than a night in Stirling and two nights in Edinburgh.

I believe we're trying to minimize hotel changes to help keep the insanity down and yes, there's a lot of things not on the list because we were trying to keep to the same general area.

[Paul der Krake]

Nearly every terminal in Europe in 2023 knows how to gracefully fallback to chip and signature. This is a non-issue. The worst thing you can expect is a slightly puzzled cashier.

[Turtle]

A radical suggestion- with 2 mobility impaired parents, one with cognitive issues, why not stay in one location, like London?  London is full of stuff to do and see and is within day trip distance (on a train) of a lot of other places like Oxford, Canterbury, etc.
Not having to keep packing and moving two older people from place to place will probably make up for any sights you miss. And if they get tired during the day you can bring them to your home base to nap while you go out and do something else.

The purpose of this trip is my sister wanted to do a family trip, mom has wanted to go to England for about 60 years, dad just wants to have a good time with family, and I'm nuts enough to go along with it.

I agree, it's a lot of moving around. Every single stop is something mom REALLY REALLY wants to see, except for Scotland which dad wants to see since his family is Scottish and we're flying out of there. Yes, it's going to be some level of disaster. We know that, but this is what mom wants. That's why there's 2 competent adults on the trip. The few days I will be splitting off is so that I don't snap and murder someone, and also they will be confined to a vehicle.

Dad doesn't wander. His executive functioning has taken the biggest hit, so he might be overwhelmed but he'll just follow along. We've dealt with this on previous occasions. He'll be fine walking around with periodic breaks and they won't be staying up late. Mom's cognitive issues are more to do with decision making and shouldn't be an issue for the trip itself. Her deciding where she wanted to go/do was the problem, the initial list was more than excessive. My sister handled most of that. Physically, she'll be limited on how much she can walk, the cane will help but we're also planning ways to try to assist/minimize.

There will absolutely be slack built into the schedule so that they can stay at the hotel and rest if needed. Dad doesn't like sitting in the hotel, mom will need to at times.

Location sharing is a good idea, I'll look into that. Not just for dad, but for all of us.

Genealogy print out - um, you are massively underestimating the quantity of genealogy information that mom has. That's why they're wandering around Buckinghamshire actually, there's a good chunk of ancestors that lived there so I think mom is hooking up with a local from one of the genealogy sites who can point out the sights. There will be graveyards I'm sure.

I was thinking along the lines of a compact Excel sheet with the known basic details for the relevant people she actually wants to research, maybe color coded so the direct line is easily identifiable.  Trying to print straight from genealogy websites quickly runs into more paper than anyone wants to carry around - agree on that.

Edit to add: Cliff Notes version of the essentials is what I'm getting at.  Your mom probably knows a lot by heart, but having it in visible form helps your dad and sister too if they are helping search for records or gravestones.

[Catbert]

Don't be afraid to throw a bit of money at *problems* to make things easier for your parents.  For example, when DH and I went to Lisbon we wanted a day trip to an outlying area (Serna, I think).  Rick Steves guide book suggested taking a train to town and then a local bus or tutuk to sights.  We were going to do that including the 1/2 mile walk to the Lisbon train station.  The day before (after several days of walking and sightseeing) I revised the outing.  I got a local tour guide who picked us up at the hotel in his car, drove us to the sights, gave us a guided tour and took us back to the hotel.  It didn't cost much more than doing it the Rick Steves way and really saved our knees and energy. 

I know things are more expensive in England than Lisbon but consider taking a taxi/Uber/limo to get you to the train station or whatever. 

[parkerk]

This is more general travel advice than UK-specific, but with that much moving around encourage everyone to pack as light as possible. Our family did a similar whirlwind trip around Ireland and I told everyone they were limited to one carry-on for the 2-week trip. At the time they thought I was being unreasonable but after a week of lugging bags from the car to the hotel and back again every other day they were extremely glad they'd listened!

Also, confirm exactly what your rental car is going to have for trunk space if you're planning to put all your luggage in there. Cars tend to be smaller there than in the US and when we rented a 7-passenger vehicle (expecting a minivan or similar) it turned out to be one of those large-ish hatchbacks where you can have a third row of seats OR a trunk, but not both.  Trying to fit 5 people and their bags in that thing was... an experience. And also another reason it was good we had all packed light.

[Sibley]

Don't be afraid to throw a bit of money at *problems* to make things easier for your parents.  For example, when DH and I went to Lisbon we wanted a day trip to an outlying area (Serna, I think).  Rick Steves guide book suggested taking a train to town and then a local bus or tutuk to sights.  We were going to do that including the 1/2 mile walk to the Lisbon train station.  The day before (after several days of walking and sightseeing) I revised the outing.  I got a local tour guide who picked us up at the hotel in his car, drove us to the sights, gave us a guided tour and took us back to the hotel.  It didn't cost much more than doing it the Rick Steves way and really saved our knees and energy. 

I know things are more expensive in England than Lisbon but consider taking a taxi/Uber/limo to get you to the train station or whatever.

Throwing money at certain problems absolutely will happen. There will be some private tours, and taxis to and from transit as necessary.

[Sibley]

This is more general travel advice than UK-specific, but with that much moving around encourage everyone to pack as light as possible. Our family did a similar whirlwind trip around Ireland and I told everyone they were limited to one carry-on for the 2-week trip. At the time they thought I was being unreasonable but after a week of lugging bags from the car to the hotel and back again every other day they were extremely glad they'd listened!

Also, confirm exactly what your rental car is going to have for trunk space if you're planning to put all your luggage in there. Cars tend to be smaller there than in the US and when we rented a 7-passenger vehicle (expecting a minivan or similar) it turned out to be one of those large-ish hatchbacks where you can have a third row of seats OR a trunk, but not both.  Trying to fit 5 people and their bags in that thing was... an experience. And also another reason it was good we had all packed light.

Absolutely will pack light. And will probably ship a box of purchases back to the US rather than try to fit everything in the luggage. But good point on the vehicles. I'm trying to figure out airport transportation, and need to try putting all the suitcases in my car. If they don't fit, then I think we'll downsize the luggage.

[Sibley]

A radical suggestion- with 2 mobility impaired parents, one with cognitive issues, why not stay in one location, like London?  London is full of stuff to do and see and is within day trip distance (on a train) of a lot of other places like Oxford, Canterbury, etc.
Not having to keep packing and moving two older people from place to place will probably make up for any sights you miss. And if they get tired during the day you can bring them to your home base to nap while you go out and do something else.

The purpose of this trip is my sister wanted to do a family trip, mom has wanted to go to England for about 60 years, dad just wants to have a good time with family, and I'm nuts enough to go along with it.

I agree, it's a lot of moving around. Every single stop is something mom REALLY REALLY wants to see, except for Scotland which dad wants to see since his family is Scottish and we're flying out of there. Yes, it's going to be some level of disaster. We know that, but this is what mom wants. That's why there's 2 competent adults on the trip. The few days I will be splitting off is so that I don't snap and murder someone, and also they will be confined to a vehicle.

Dad doesn't wander. His executive functioning has taken the biggest hit, so he might be overwhelmed but he'll just follow along. We've dealt with this on previous occasions. He'll be fine walking around with periodic breaks and they won't be staying up late. Mom's cognitive issues are more to do with decision making and shouldn't be an issue for the trip itself. Her deciding where she wanted to go/do was the problem, the initial list was more than excessive. My sister handled most of that. Physically, she'll be limited on how much she can walk, the cane will help but we're also planning ways to try to assist/minimize.

There will absolutely be slack built into the schedule so that they can stay at the hotel and rest if needed. Dad doesn't like sitting in the hotel, mom will need to at times.

Location sharing is a good idea, I'll look into that. Not just for dad, but for all of us.

Genealogy print out - um, you are massively underestimating the quantity of genealogy information that mom has. That's why they're wandering around Buckinghamshire actually, there's a good chunk of ancestors that lived there so I think mom is hooking up with a local from one of the genealogy sites who can point out the sights. There will be graveyards I'm sure.

I was thinking along the lines of a compact Excel sheet with the known basic details for the relevant people she actually wants to research, maybe color coded so the direct line is easily identifiable.  Trying to print straight from genealogy websites quickly runs into more paper than anyone wants to carry around - agree on that.

Edit to add: Cliff Notes version of the essentials is what I'm getting at.  Your mom probably knows a lot by heart, but having it in visible form helps your dad and sister too if they are helping search for records or gravestones.

She won't be actively researching. She wants to see where these people lived. Maybe take some pictures of gravestones.

[shackleford]

Someone who is more British than I am can chime in, but I try to always carry some cash because it is customary to tip perhaps 10% for sit-down dining, but often if you pay with a credit card there will be no option to leave a tip. As others have mentioned tap-to-pay is the standard and is even used on some city buses like the Lothian system in Edinburgh.

Nearly all restaurants will be able to add a tip to the card transaction - just ask the person with the card machine to add it on.  Other than cheap barbers, some more obscure takeaway food places and carwashes (ie. the businesses that are notorious for money laundering and dodging tax) you can get by in the UK without using cash at all these days.  A lot of places are cashless particularly in London.  That said, a small emergency stash of British cash might be a good idea. 

[Loren Ver]

For hotels in London, not sure what class you will be staying in, but for my several times there, elevators are rare and the stairs are tight and spiral.  This makes luggage fun.  I travel with my mother-in-law so I do the baggage carrying up stairs.   When there has been an elevator it has been small so two people no luggage or one person with his/her bag.  So sometimes logistics can be interesting if you have to get a group with stuff up and settled.

We always pack so I can manage all our luggage up crazy stairs in one trip (I have a backpack, her's a hug-able suitcase). 

Also, the small spiral staircases were all over (churches, castles, etc).  MIL is fine if she takes her time, both feet per step. 

London also had the most comically small bathrooms, at least in some of the places I stayed.   

LV

[iris lily]

Your Scotland itinerary sounds great.

I think of Stirling Castle as a “mini Edinburgh Castle.” It is a military castle but also it contains Royal Stuart 16th and 17th century accommodations.

It is a very short hike from the Train station to the castle, but it is uphill, and with your mom’s limitations you will have to get a taxi. I just hope a taxi will agree to go that short distance. There are several buildings within the “castle” that have steps up and down, so your mom may have to sit some of these sites out.

The great thing  about Aberdeenshire is the concentration of Scottish Baronial Architecture
, i.e. small castles. If you can get out to the countryside to see Craigievar Castle, the most charming of the lot, you will do well. For me, the big military castles or giant palaces such as Hollyrood  are not as interesting as the small human scaled Baronial classics. They exist ONLY in Scotland.

Edinburgh is wonderful and you will no doubt spend much time on The Royal Mile. A great place to dine is The Witchery by The Castle. While evening reservations are booked months in advance, you can pop in for lunch with no reservation.

I did enjoy Hollyrood and liked seeing the place where David Rizio was murdered. The Royal Mile, the street betweenThe Castle and The Palace, is highly commercial but also jam packed with significant historically significant sites. For instance, the late Queen was taken to St. Giles to lay in state for a day before she went back to London.

One time we also flew into London /Heathrow and flew home from Edinburgh, and the much smaller airport of
Edinburgh was such a nice contrast.

[Sibley]

The trip happened. The trip was both very successful, and a disaster.

So, got to London. I was in ROUGH shape due to motion sickness. Resolved with food and a nap.
Everyone had a good time in London. Dad didn't much care for London itself, but did well. Mom's mobility it started to become apparent was worse than expected. London hotel was the Bedford Hotel near Russell Square - recommended. Clean, comfortable, friendly.

Went to Bath. There was a train accident which then resulted in all the other trains getting messed up, so getting on the train was impossible without assistance. We learned that the UK has very helpful assistance and they got us on a train. No idea which train we got on, but we got to Bath.
In Bath, mom's mobility was even worse. Dad did well. Sister started to not feel 100%. Bath hotel was the Abbey Hotel, very near Bath Abbey. Rooms were comfortable, wonkyness with hvac but manageable, staff were friendly. We had to tell them each night what time we were going to eat breakfast which I wasn't a fan of but I think they had a very full hotel making it necessary.

Got rental car, drove to Buckinghamshire. Sister did quite well driving. We were a bit slower than other cars preferred, but not terribly so.
In Buckinghamshire, sister got sick. She basically disappeared into her hotel room for the duration of that leg. Hotel was The Bell Hotel in Winslow. LOVED LOVED LOVED it - really old building, complete maze I got lost pretty much every time I tried to go anywhere, but it was awesome.

I went back to London. Sister also attempted to rent wheelchairs for upcoming cities, because mom walking was becoming more and more difficult. Sister gave up and bought a wheelchair. Mom and dad also got sick.

I was very happy in London doing my thing. Then discovered that I'd bought my train tickets to Scotland for the wrong day, one day later than planned. After research and consultation with sister, we decided that I was just going to show up in Scotland late. Honestly, probably the best decision in retrospect that we could have made.

Mom, dad and sister took train to Scotland. And the wheels fell off the bus. All three were sick, mom was not getting better. Sister and dad got better but plateaued. They cancelled all tour plans for Aberdeen and just stayed in the airbnb trying to recover. I show up finally, then we do a driving tour from Aberdeen to Edinburgh. (Airbnb in Stonehaven, I was just there one night and it was fine.)

In Edinburgh, we checked into the hotel (Frederick House Hotel, I heard they were not going to be a hotel much longer, but it was comfortable), ordered and ate pizza for dinner, then dad took mom to the A&E (ER), where after many hours she was admitted to the hospital with what turned out to be bacterial pneumonia. Plans for Edinburgh got really messed up at that point. Sister, dad and I spent one day doing a bus tour of the city, some shopping, and went to Edinburgh Castle.

Dad and I went home Thursday as planned - we have cats and the pet sitter was unable to extend. Sister and I also wanted to get dad home. We didn't think just her trying to manage both mom and dad would be successful in the airport, as dad can get a bit confused. Even though another person to help carry stuff would be helpful. Sister stayed in Scotland with mom, who was still in the hospital. All plans were reworked so that sister and mom would come home Sunday, as we thought that would be ok. Once home, dad went to urgent care and was diagnosed with bronchitis. I got sick while on the flight home.

Mom was released from the hospital on Friday. They did some sightseeing on Saturday, basically sat on the Royal Mile for 2 hours and did 30 minutes of shopping. They come home tomorrow (Sunday). Cross your fingers mom tolerates the flight ok.

I'm now sick and am basically waiting to see if I'm going to get better or if I'll need to see the doctor. Early indications are I'll need to go to the doctor.

Other things the trip highlighted:

First, dad has cognitive decline, but he tends to respond by just following instructions. You have to be very clear with the instructions, but as long as we are sufficiently clear and simple, he's fine. Physically he's pretty good, he does get tired and once that happens he doesn't do well.

Second, mom has some cognitive decline. It shows up more as regression to childhood. Her getting sick made it worse. Towards the end, we were quite literally providing the same level of supervision and instruction that we would to a 10-12 year old child. Also, while her mobility isn't great, her mindset makes it worse. Her mobility is also worse than we realized. She simply can not walk any sort of distance. It's not a matter of lack of exercise, her knee is bone on bone and just doesn't work. But her mindset also makes her not want to try to do things, even when she can.

Third, we are NEVER doing anything like this again. We were thinking of sending mom to Florida this year to visit some relatives, and that isn't going to happen. It just isn't possible. I think that once they're home and healthy and back into the routine they will probably regain normalcy, but for travel we would have to plan for this level of disaster.

In conclusion, we're glad we did it, it wouldn't have been possible in future, and we're never doing it again.

Oh. I've spent around $6300 so far on everything related to the trip. Doesn't include whatever I'll send my sister though.

[AMandM]

Yes, it's going to be some level of disaster. We know that, but this is what mom wants. That's why there's 2 competent adults on the trip.

Man, even accepting in advance that there would be "some level of disaster," I would not have expected quite the kind of disaster you got. I'm glad you all were able to manage it and that you've gained a clearer picture of your parents' state. I hope your mother and sister get back safely.

[Sibley]

Yes, it's going to be some level of disaster. We know that, but this is what mom wants. That's why there's 2 competent adults on the trip.

Man, even accepting in advance that there would be "some level of disaster," I would not have expected quite the kind of disaster you got. I'm glad you all were able to manage it and that you've gained a clearer picture of your parents' state. I hope your mother and sister get back safely.

Honestly, neither did we. It was interesting to say the least. Dad did way better than we expected - and we think his hearing aids are to be thanked for that. He's got problems, but the hearing loss was making it worse. Mom completely unraveled.

[Catbert]

Sibley - So sorry that the trip was so stressful and unenjoyable.  I will say that your parents likely do better cognitively at home than they did on the trip.  In addition to everone being ill, travel is stressful and disorienting to those with cognitive decline.  Back home they probably function better under normal circumstances.

[jrhampt]

It is scary how ability to tolerate travel declines with age.  Glad we took my Mom to England, Scotland, Canada, Spain, and France several years ago when she was in her fifties - early sixties.  Just had the parents up to visit me and it's clear we would not be able to make those sorts of trips again due to declines in mobility.  Even the last trip to Europe with Mom was tough because she fell and injured her knee just a few days in, so we had to use a wheelchair with her for most of the trip, and Europe is NOT wheelchair friendly.

[Sibley]

The trip was still fun, just not all of it. And it was hard. Everyone is home now, I've been to the doctor and got all the meds for bronchitis. I'm getting better, everyone else is getting better. I haven't seen my parents much because sick, but what I have seen is they are settling back into their routines and are doing better as a result.

Any future travel will be limited. We just can't.