Yeah, if you need/insist on going out of network, your deductible and OOP max can be nuts.
Per Healthcare.gov, the max out of pocket (not just the deductible) for a Marketplace plan in 2020 is $8,200 for an individual plan and $16,400 for a family plan. Those limits are lowered, depending on income, for Silver plans. Our plan just has copays for medical visits and Rx, so we never hit our deductible, but our OOP costs aren't very high.
What's the problem with an HMO? We used to have a Kaiser HMO plan years ago, and really liked it. Unfortunately, they pulled out of our area.