My parents live in one. I'm staying with them right now, actually. They adore it. Theirs is quite large and thus has a robust schedule of offerings. No matter what you are in to, there's a group or club or class, and that's been wonderful for them.
My dad has also gotten very involved with the HOA. He's been on the board several times and served as president several times. His take is that while there are a lot of rules, they are enforced pretty reasonably. No one drives around and writes you up for the un-approved lawn gnome. And if there is a major violation that gets reported, they are pretty reasonable about getting it fixed. (Allowing long time lines to remediate, extending those easily as long as there is a good faith effort happening, etc.). Very rarely are actual fines introduced and they are in cases of gross violations. (We talked about someone building an actual retaining wall on a neighbors property, for example, and simply refusing to remove it.)
Yes, when it is time to paint your house you have to use approved colors, which can be limiting and a PITA. But it really doesn't seem especially restrictive or limiting overall, and what they get in exchange for those rules and the dues they pay (about $1500/yr, IIRC) seems quite wonderful. My husband and I are definitely considering this place for our eventual future. Of course, the culture of the HOA could shift over time to be more like what some people here mention, but for now, it sounds pretty chill overall.