25 years of marriage ( a little less as a moustachian)

[Polish_Hammer]

It took quite a while but my wife has finally acknowledged that the moustachian way over the last 5-10 years has paid off. She had constantly lamented about her sister only working part time and their family taking multiple vacations a year, and why can't we live like that.  A couple of financial hits 20-30k size has essentially wiped out their retirement and her sister finally confided that they can never retire. Not that I wish misfortune on anyone, but am I wrong to whisper "I told you so under my breath", to walk a little taller?

[andreamac]

Glad to hear your wife is thankful to know she is secure.

It's hard to see family fail but I'm in the same position... my sister with her huge RV and Dodge Ram to pull it and her upgrade from a townhouse to single home has left them in trouble now that she has a chronic condition that won't let her do part time work anymore. Even though my hubby left his job in the summer and stayed off to help me with our newborn, we had no money woes thanks to our mustache ways.

[Bateaux]

Happy for you guys. Congratulations on your marriage as well.   Hope the sister can dig out of the financial pit.

[okits]

You said your wife has acknowledged the value of frugality and saving, so I advise against whispering anything under your breath.  But 5-10 years is a long time to be listening to her laments that she wants to keep up with the Joneses, so go ahead and walk tall with an occasional smug expression.  :D

Seriously, I'm glad she sees the security you two have earned for your future selves.  Good job to you both.  Hope her sister can turn things around.

[soccerluvof4]

I went through a bit of this as my DW was never a big spender but she didn't seem at all interested in the MMM thinking even though I had explained its different and tailored to each person/couple. So I just went forward with it regardless and 4-5 years later she understands. The reward of the benefits is enough and seeing her work towards it as well. So no need to say "I told you so"! Some people just take longer than others to grasp things and were surrounded by people that have financial messes. I cant tell you how many times I have heard her say now I am glad were not in that position and or tell the kids stories of the bad decisions people we know made teach them.

[Gimesalot]

I understand where you are coming from.  I have had a really tough time bringing my DH along.  He has gotten 10000% better, but it is still a work in progress.  For years, I had to push him to be more thoughtful about our expenditures and savings.  He was always grumpy but usually went along begrudgingly.  He hated the ridicule from our friends regarding our "cheap" ways but now that they are all still living paycheck to paycheck at jobs they don't care for and we are setting off on an adventure, he has realized that we made the right choice.  It's about damn time, although I've kept that thought to myself.

[Polish_Hammer]

He hated the ridicule from our friends regarding our "cheap" ways

I think you nailed it. When you stop caring about what others think you are free to think for yourself

[soccerluvof4]

He hated the ridicule from our friends regarding our "cheap" ways

I think you nailed it. When you stop caring about what others think you are free to think for yourself

I understand where you are coming from.  I have had a really tough time bringing my DH along.  He has gotten 10000% better, but it is still a work in progress.  For years, I had to push him to be more thoughtful about our expenditures and savings.  He was always grumpy but usually went along begrudgingly.  He hated the ridicule from our friends regarding our "cheap" ways but now that they are all still living paycheck to paycheck at jobs they don't care for and we are setting off on an adventure, he has realized that we made the right choice.  It's about damn time, although I've kept that thought to myself.

I'm not sure why or what your doing that your friends are referring to you as being cheap? I have never been called that by my friends and in fact while I admit they might not be able to figure out what I am doing or how I became retired I doubt any of them would call me cheap. Being frugal is not being cheap. 

[Gimesalot]

I'm not sure why or what your doing that your friends are referring to you as being cheap? I have never been called that by my friends and in fact while I admit they might not be able to figure out what I am doing or how I became retired I doubt any of them would call me cheap. Being frugal is not being cheap.

I totally agree that frugal is not cheap, but to many people they are the same.  We had some very spending friends who were pretty vocal about my cheapness.  A lot of those "friends" are gone.  Our new friends still think we are cheap, but they keep it to themselves.

The following things have gotten me labeled as "cheap":
Asking to take leftovers from fancy restaurants
Buying toothbrushes at the dollar store instead of the pharmacy
Not having a flat screen tv until 2011
Not having the latest and greatest cell phone/computer/tablet
Cutting my own hair, doing my own pedicures
Cutting our grocery spending by eating low cost foods like beans and rice
making our own granola and yogurt
Mending my clothes instead of buying new clothes
doing our own house repairs instead of hiring everything out
Staying at normal hotels/apartments instead of luxury resorts while on vacation

[soccerluvof4]

I'm not sure why or what your doing that your friends are referring to you as being cheap? I have never been called that by my friends and in fact while I admit they might not be able to figure out what I am doing or how I became retired I doubt any of them would call me cheap. Being frugal is not being cheap.

I totally agree that frugal is not cheap, but to many people they are the same.  We had some very spending friends who were pretty vocal about my cheapness.  A lot of those "friends" are gone.  Our new friends still think we are cheap, but they keep it to themselves.

The following things have gotten me labeled as "cheap":
Asking to take leftovers from fancy restaurants
Buying toothbrushes at the dollar store instead of the pharmacy
Not having a flat screen tv until 2011
Not having the latest and greatest cell phone/computer/tablet
Cutting my own hair, doing my own pedicures
Cutting our grocery spending by eating low cost foods like beans and rice
making our own granola and yogurt
Mending my clothes instead of buying new clothes
doing our own house repairs instead of hiring everything out
Staying at normal hotels/apartments instead of luxury resorts while on vacation

Dont get me wrong I am not trying to drop the hammer one you :-P but "who gives a shit" if there your friends 1) they wouldn't say your cheap and 2) alot of things said is because they wish they had the discipline. Sounds to me they could learn a lot from you so hold your head high and go about your business. I will say amongst my friends I do say quite often  "even if I have the money thats not to say I am paying that for that"

[Gimesalot]

Dont get me wrong I am not trying to drop the hammer one you :-P but "who gives a shit" if there your friends 1) they wouldn't say your cheap and 2) alot of things said is because they wish they had the discipline. Sounds to me they could learn a lot from you so hold your head high and go about your business. I will say amongst my friends I do say quite often  "even if I have the money thats not to say I am paying that for that"

I never gave a rat's ass but my husband does care more about what people think.  It wasn't a huge issue for me, but it was/is a big hurdle to get him on-board.  Of course now that it is time to reap the benefits of our savings, he's totally on board, and most of our friends, including those that called us cheap, are super jealous.

[Just Joe]

Just grin ear to ear while you do your chores or go for a walk and let the outside world wonder why. You accomplished what you wanted to and have some examples of why to not do it any differently.

[barbaz]

The following things have gotten me labeled as "cheap":

Oh this will be good...

“Asking to take leftovers from fancy restaurants”
Hmm, maybe depends on the restaurant...

“Buying toothbrushes at the dollar store instead of the pharmacy”
You can buy toothbrushes at the pharmacy???

“Not having a flat screen tv until 2011”
We got ours 2015, I think

“Not having the latest and greatest cell phone/computer/tablet”
I usually buy a top device and then keep it until it breaks. Laptop from 2011, phone from 2007.

“Cutting my own hair, doing my own pedicures”
Depends on the haircut. My wife has a ponytail, no need to go to the barber for that

“Cutting our grocery spending by eating low cost foods like beans and rice”
For us it’s just normal to eat rice and potatoes

“making our own granola and yogurt”
Ok seriously where I live people would admire you for this. Just say it’s a lifestyle health thing, don’t mention the cost savings.

“Mending my clothes instead of buying new clothes”
See above

“doing our own house repairs instead of hiring everything out”
Again, but sell it as manliness or something like that

“Staying at normal hotels/apartments instead of luxury resorts while on vacation”
We spent all our vacations at youth hostels last year, so there’s still room to be cheaper. Wait, probably better to not mention that to your friends...

Overall, I don’t understand why your friends care about these things. Do they think they look bad by association?