Alternative living to home ownership?

[Mustache Fatty]

Hi kork--Just to build off of what Laura is saying, we did pretty much what she is advocating before we moved to the resort town permanently.  We became friends with someone who had a condo in the town, and we were given a great deal to go down there and fill in his odd open dates.  We did this for years.  It got to the point where I'd call and say, "I noticed that you have two days open between your next two rentals.  How much for me and my wife to go down there for those nights?  He'd usually say something like, "Give me a $100."  Anyway, we spent a lot of time down there, joined an Elks lodge, made some friends, etc. before we moved down for good.  We absolutely knew for sure it was right for us.  In contrast, we actually owned a second home in another beach town the whole time!  Clearly, we didn't do our due diligence on our fit with that town.  In short, listen to Laura. You could spend the next three years productively exploring different options that you think will work out for you and your family.

[Villanelle]

Hi kork--Just to build off of what Laura is saying, we did pretty much what she is advocating before we moved to the resort town permanently.  We became friends with someone who had a condo in the town, and we were given a great deal to go down there and fill in his odd open dates.  We did this for years.  It got to the point where I'd call and say, "I noticed that you have two days open between your next two rentals.  How much for me and my wife to go down there for those nights?  He'd usually say something like, "Give me a $100."  Anyway, we spent a lot of time down there, joined an Elks lodge, made some friends, etc. before we moved down for good.  We absolutely knew for sure it was right for us.  In contrast, we actually owned a second home in another beach town the whole time!  Clearly, we didn't do our due diligence on our fit with that town.  In short, listen to Laura. You could spend the next three years productively exploring different options that you think will work out for you and your family.

My parents did something similar before relocating to their retirement community.  They had friends which a house there, and they summered in a cooler climate so their house was empty a few months during the worst time to be there.  My parents stayed in the friends' home to try on the area and make sure it was a fit.

OP, if you are planning on waiting three years, I'd encourage you to work strenuously on your mental health during that time.  If you aren't in therapy, start. If you are and you feel stalled, find a new provider.  Be in a better place so that in a few years when you are making decisions, you are making them from a healthy place. 

[kork]

You have 3 years to decide.  Cool.  Spend that time researching, investigating options that sound interesting, planning.  And of course talking with your wife to make sure you're on the same page.

When the youngest is off to college, try things out on a temporary basis.  You don't want to toss out your entire life only to discover that your dissatisfaction was due to something else entirely.  Stay a few months in a resort community.  Live in a cottage on a lake.  Rent an RV for a few months.  Sublease a house in a smaller-sized city and/or different area/climate.  Slow travel through a part of the world you've never seen before.  See what things fit you and what don't -- what combination of location, people, hobbies, chores, amenities, weather, nearness to family, etc. seem to suit you best.

Once you're moving to a situation that you have decided is a great fit for your family, and not away from a situation that no longer suits, then you'll be ready to make a longer-term commitment to that location/lifestyle.  And if that ends up not working either, try something else.

Also, recognize that situations and people change.  What suits you 3 years from now may not suit you 10 years from now.  That's ok -- heck, it's totally normal.  Another plus for renting and trying things out short-term, while all those other pieces of your life remain in motion.

Thank-you for this clean image.

I have been doing this, especially the idea of moving to a situation and not away from a situation. We moved to our current location to get away from the drugs and needles and junkies. And in the last year, have taken several weekend weekend trips to Ottawa and rented a Condo both times. We also went to Gateneau to take a look. Same with some other cities in the GTA and are planning on doing the same in other communities.

But by giving myself 3 years nothing short of something catastrophic allows the girls to continue on what they're doing while we plan out next steps.  I like the idea of trying out different things before total commitment which is what this thread was intended to do – explore alternatives to home ownership.

I also signed up for Home Exchange a few months ago. Incidentally, when we were in Montreal a friend was doing exactly that.  They have a home in Singapore and they did a home exchange for a beautiful condo in Gateneau. I asked "why don't you just use AirBNB to rent out your place" and they said that airBNB takes a big chunk of the income, but then it's also taxable. By doing a home exchange, there's no money exchanging hands and so no taxation, just the yearly membership fee. And of course, we can just rent a place or try it out without exchanging. Get an RV and try it for a few weeks. Make a family vacation out of it.

So that would allow us to try other places without giving up the equity in our home and make a drastic shift.

So thank-you Laura putting what I'm already doing and thinking in a clean and succinct summary. It makes sense.

[GilesMM]

I love the idea of living on a resort but WITHOUT a hedonistic abundance of food and alcohol like all-inclusives. Having a community pool with a waterfall, workout out at the gym, playing pickle ball, or other activities and lazing back in a lawn chair and when I'm done, go back to a quiet, 2 bedroom condo/house without exorbitant condo fees.

Good luck with that one.

Sounds like you want any of the many Florida resort communities which have tons of activities and you can access most of it on a bike or golf cart.  For example: https://www.thevillages.com/  Homes starting under $300k.  You can even visit and stay in a villa to see how you like living there.


Sounds funny to hear people wanting to leave Canada because on this side of the fence the grass is always greener there with great government, amazing free healthcare, minimal crime, etc.

[kork]

I love the idea of living on a resort but WITHOUT a hedonistic abundance of food and alcohol like all-inclusives. Having a community pool with a waterfall, workout out at the gym, playing pickle ball, or other activities and lazing back in a lawn chair and when I'm done, go back to a quiet, 2 bedroom condo/house without exorbitant condo fees.

Good luck with that one.

Sounds like you want any of the many Florida resort communities which have tons of activities and you can access most of it on a bike or golf cart.  For example: https://www.thevillages.com/  Homes starting under $300k.  You can even visit and stay in a villa to see how you like living there.


Sounds funny to hear people wanting to leave Canada because on this side of the fence the grass is always greener there with great government, amazing free healthcare, minimal crime, etc.

Thanks for this info. We lived in Florida for a year before the girls started school and loved it. The issue is that these places are typically seniors. I'm decades from being a senior. I'd love that lifestyle with a more youthful vibe. I'll take a closer look at the link though, thank-you.

From a Canadians perspective, the government is currently horrible. Our Prime Minister is being laughed at by the world and had led to a draconian and overly inefficient socialist leaning government. The overreach is unsettling and I'm concerned that under the current rule, a situation such as government asset seizure such as Cyprus may be in the works. And I'm typically a liberal supporter! I'm looking forward to the day when the current federal government is ousted.

The health care is abysmal. Florida healthcare was vastly superior (if you have coverage as we did). People here can't find family doctors. In fact, that's one significant hiccup to relocating is that finding a family doctor elsewhere is a national crisis. We have a younger doctor who's good, fortunately. But there's millions of people in Canada without family doctors. So people fill up emergency rooms and any kind of an ER visit is in the waiting rooms for hours (sometimes days) to be seen. My approach for health is to be active, exercise and eat healthy and PRAY TO GOD I don't need to use the healthcare system here. It's not free, we get taxed out the @SS.

My family's taxes work out to tens of thousands of each year for healthcare.

We have gun laws and VERY stringent firearms licenses and approval. Doesn't stop the criminals from getting guns, but it makes it much harder to carry one around. It is somewhat safe, but we felt safer in Florida.

[spartana]

I don't know about Florida but in Calif a lot of the resort type of communities allow people to buy-in at a younger age. They're basicly just fancy gated communities that have lots of resort amenities. Even the "senior" ones allow people age 45 and older as long as one spouse/co-owner is at least 55. I think you said your DW was quite a bit older then you so once she's 55 and you're 45 then you could buy in. While there are lots of younger wild crazy partiers in certain cimmunities there are still a lot of much older people in the "active 55 plus" complexes. I think @Dicey owns a couple of rentals in one of those kind of places (a Del Webb golf resort maybe) and rents her Casitas out.

[Dicey]

I don't know about Florida but in Calif a lot of the resort type of communities allow people to buy-in at a younger age. They're basicly just fancy gated communities that have lots of resort amenities. Even the "senior" ones allow people age 45 and older as long as one spouse/co-owner is at least 55. I think you said your DW was quite a bit older then you so once she's 55 and you're 45 then you could buy in. While there are lots of younger wild crazy partiers in certain cimmunities there are still a lot of much older people in the "active 55 plus" complexes. I think @Dicey owns a couple of rentals in one of those kind of places (a Del Webb golf resort maybe) and rents her Casitas out.

Lol, I keep the casita for us, so we have a place for us to stay when we're there working on houses. We rent the houses, including the one with the casita, out to 55+ tenants. In most Sun City Communities, only one member of the household needs to be 55 or older, but there is no age minimum to buy there. In the PHX area, they are so big that they had to drop the minimum age to 45 to get them all sold.

The casita was a $25k add-on when I bought the first house. It has more than paid for itself by saving on the cost of room nights in a resort area and in time. The proximity and availability are invaluable.

[Villanelle]

I love the idea of living on a resort but WITHOUT a hedonistic abundance of food and alcohol like all-inclusives. Having a community pool with a waterfall, workout out at the gym, playing pickle ball, or other activities and lazing back in a lawn chair and when I'm done, go back to a quiet, 2 bedroom condo/house without exorbitant condo fees.

Good luck with that one.

Sounds like you want any of the many Florida resort communities which have tons of activities and you can access most of it on a bike or golf cart.  For example: https://www.thevillages.com/  Homes starting under $300k.  You can even visit and stay in a villa to see how you like living there.


Sounds funny to hear people wanting to leave Canada because on this side of the fence the grass is always greener there with great government, amazing free healthcare, minimal crime, etc.

Thanks for this info. We lived in Florida for a year before the girls started school and loved it. The issue is that these places are typically seniors. I'm decades from being a senior. I'd love that lifestyle with a more youthful vibe. I'll take a closer look at the link though, thank-you.

From a Canadians perspective, the government is currently horrible. Our Prime Minister is being laughed at by the world and had led to a draconian and overly inefficient socialist leaning government. The overreach is unsettling and I'm concerned that under the current rule, a situation such as government asset seizure such as Cyprus may be in the works. And I'm typically a liberal supporter! I'm looking forward to the day when the current federal government is ousted.

The health care is abysmal. Florida healthcare was vastly superior (if you have coverage as we did). People here can't find family doctors. In fact, that's one significant hiccup to relocating is that finding a family doctor elsewhere is a national crisis. We have a younger doctor who's good, fortunately. But there's millions of people in Canada without family doctors. So people fill up emergency rooms and any kind of an ER visit is in the waiting rooms for hours (sometimes days) to be seen. My approach for health is to be active, exercise and eat healthy and PRAY TO GOD I don't need to use the healthcare system here. It's not free, we get taxed out the @SS.

My family's taxes work out to tens of thousands of each year for healthcare.

We have gun laws and VERY stringent firearms licenses and approval. Doesn't stop the criminals from getting guns, but it makes it much harder to carry one around. It is somewhat safe, but we felt safer in Florida.

IDK how long ago you were in Florida, but access to healthcare and appointments is a massive problem in the US now.  I'm not sure it's reached the same levels as Canada (and that may also depend on where in the US, and where in Canada), but it's not grat.  My parents recently joined a concierge medicine practice so they could get access to a doctor without waiting weeks or months for appointments, though it doesn't help much with specialty care.  But it's at least something. They are very frugal people so for them to take a step like paying $2000/yr just to be taken on as a patient shows there's a real problem.  (That amount doesn't cover any care.  It just gets them a spot on his patient list and access to him for appointments, which they pay for.)

Also, as Spartana and Dicey mentioned, most of these 55+ communities just require one person in the house be 55+ (and usually no minors, since they aren't zoned for schools). My dad likes to joke that you can be 80 and have a 22 year old spouse and you can live in a retirement community.  So if your wife is 55 (or will be, or be close, in 3 years), this is a viable option.  Yes, most of your neighbors will be older than you, but so what?  That said, it does depend on what you want out of such a community. And also how much you are willing to put in.  There are clubs and organizations and activities, but you do have to put yourself out there in order to make connections and find friends.  Plenty of people who live in those communities have about the same social life as they would in a regular community because they haven't actively sought and fostered relationships. Those who join clubs, volunteer within the community, issue invitations for activities they put together on their own, etc., seem to be the ones who thrive.  Even if they are introverts, having some connections seems to be key to being happy and feeling part of the community.   

[Missy B]

I love the idea of living on a resort but WITHOUT a hedonistic abundance of food and alcohol like all-inclusives. Having a community pool with a waterfall, workout out at the gym, playing pickle ball, or other activities and lazing back in a lawn chair and when I'm done, go back to a quiet, 2 bedroom condo/house without exorbitant condo fees.


I just don't know how to try out something new because I don't know what something new could be? But I do know that this whole "Get married, settle down, buy a house, have kids and retire" thing isn't working and I'm done with it!

You might want to look into eco-villages and other types of intentional community housing. Not quite the vibe you're describing -- there is a fair amount of work involved to make those places function well. But you might really dig it.