Thanks Edgema for your thoughts.
The thought of my stash going up or down 10 or even 20% doesn’t bother me so much. I believe deep inside me that in the long term the markets will go up, so don’t fear fluctuations, and in any case I have rental income, dividends and a pension as part of my post FIRE income, so take comfort from that too. I currently follow my stash very closely because I enjoy doing so. Also, I don’t want to have unrealistic expectations of how much spending my stash can support post FIRE, so I am testing sensitivities very carefully and over analysing the numbers. I enjoy passing milestones, seeing trends and dreaming of how I will spend the money once I stop working my life away. It’s an addiction.
As to the rest of your email. I agree 100% that I am putting barriers between myself and FIRE. I have a fairly high NW by MMM standards, and most on this forum would happily FIRE with my stash. I will never go hungry and will afford a comfortable life even if I cut spending by 25%. My indecisiveness is motivated by healthy doses of both fear and greed.
On the other hand, as all of us at the finale of our FIRE marathon know, a little extra work at the very end can go very far.
There are three factors driving this - a career in full flight, a big pile of money feeding feverishly off itself, and with all basic expenses covered every extra dollar goes straight to funding guilty pleasures. A little can go a long way.
The battle is to recognise that this greed is actually stealing from my life. I understand this......but.....
Look, August will soon be here, and a decision will be made, and that’ll be that.
Many times in my life I have struggled with big decisions. But to date, I have never regretted taking the time to come to the right decision. I feel generally I make good decisions. I am sure I will here too.