200 days and anxious

[tzukulika]

Here is my story : I wrote about 1 year ago about burn-out. It is still there :-). I decided over the summer that next summer I will be NOT working anymore as I plan to enjoy life outside of cubicle world ; spend time with my kids, fishing , health , cooking volunteering etc. I'm not worried about how I will spend my time. I'm an avid reader- cheap hobby.
Financially , I think I'm OK; between retirement and taxable accounts I have about 1.2 mil; House paid off worth about 400k ; 2 kids and 200k/kid set aside (not included in the above numbers but available if needed).
Annual expenses around 60K, not including healthcare. I'm planning for SS @ 67 with about 60% of what I currently supposed to get (conservative). High annual expense due family considerations and vacations.  I can reduce some of the expenses. Plan to spend more in retirement once the kids are gone on about 7-8 years.
For immediate future : Wife will still work ; for how long I don’t know, she just got the 'corner office" and she is somewhat excited (??!!). I hope she will burn out to in 2-3 years and join me in RE :-).  Her work covers the annual expenses, but they are not needed.
The plan I have hatched in my FIRE delusions was to slow down at work,  significantly such that I will be RIF-ed sometimes in April (when the annual evaluation is taking place). My limited effort and enthusiasm HAS been noted at work already by my boss ,who said likely I will be in bottom of rankings for the year (nothing unexpected from my side).
However this also brought some other feelings - specially PRIDE in my work ; I know I can do my work and be an exceptional employee (have done so for many years). I can *recuperate* and make a good impression and not be RIF-ed, but that will be costly - I do hope for a severance package , which I will not get if I get to *walk-out* on my own.

What one will do ?
   • Hustle hard for the last 200 days (yay !!!) and leave with good feeling that I did not cheat on my work ? This will 95% assure of no severance package :-( . And BTW the severance pkg is NOT guaranteed by no means.
   • Slack majorly and continue with the original plan ? This will affect my self-esteem a little (it already does). It feels like *unfinished business*.  Afraid of regrets maybe later in life ?
   

This is not easy for me (I was hoping it would be walk in the park;  but it is not).

[Retired To Win]

...The plan I have hatched in my FIRE delusions was to slow down at work,  significantly such that I will be RIF-ed sometimes in April (when the annual evaluation is taking place). My limited effort and enthusiasm HAS been noted at work already by my boss ,who said likely I will be in bottom of rankings for the year (nothing unexpected from my side).

However this also brought some other feelings - specially PRIDE in my work ; I know I can do my work and be an exceptional employee (have done so for many years). I can *recuperate* and make a good impression and not be RIF-ed, but that will be costly - I do hope for a severance package , which I will not get if I get to *walk-out* on my own.

What one will do ?
   • Hustle hard for the last 200 days (yay !!!) and leave with good feeling that I did not cheat on my work ? This will 95% assure of no severance package :-( . And BTW the severance pkg is NOT guaranteed by no means.
   • Slack majorly and continue with the original plan ? This will affect my self-esteem a little (it already does). It feels like *unfinished business*.  Afraid of regrets maybe later in life ?
   

This is not easy for me (I was hoping it would be walk in the park;  but it is not).

You have to be able to live with what you do. To be able to look yourself in the mirror.  Doing what is right is... right.  But it's you who has to make that call.

Good luck.

[Spork]

You have to be able to live with what you do. To be able to look yourself in the mirror.  Doing what is right is... right.  But it's you who has to make that call.

Good luck.

+1 to this.

I actually gave notice at right about 200 days (which MIGHT NOT WORK in every situation).  But I think it gave a reasonable working relationship to the end.  YMMV.

[StetsTerhune]

This will affect my self-esteem a little (it already does).

I'm a little unclear as to what it is that's affecting your self-esteem. Maybe you haven't really analyzed it either, and I think that needs to be step one in this decision.

Are you feeling bad because:
A. You feel like you're "cheating" or "stealing" from work by not holding up your end of the bargain
B. Being "bad" at your job is in conflict with your self-image
C. You feel like you are missing an opportunity to maximize who you are and what you can do at work

If the answer is B or C, then you need to get over this sooner rather than later. Soon you won't have your job to give you purpose, and you need to move on from this mindset.

If the answer is A, then you need to really analyze why and what your morals say on this issue. My guess is you ask 100 people here and you'd get 50 "F* 'em, you don't owe your work anything" responses and 50 "it's morally reprehensible to not do the work you're being paid for to the best of your ability" responses.

Obviously getting RIF'ed in April is the better option for you in terms of $ per effort, but it's never worth it to do something against your own moral code. You'll get no judgement from me whatever you decide that is though.

[Scandium]

Another thing; if for some reason you have to go back to work again would this result in a bad reference? Or maybe you want to consult or do some part time in the future?

[tzukulika]

@StetsTerhune ; I think is a bit of both A and C. Mostly A.
@Scandium There is no way in hell I will get back into this line of work, and at this company. Cutting grass seems acceptable to me now.

After noogin on it, my plan is to do a decent job until end of the year. Then  I will inform the folks i will like to get RIFed. I'm spreading the risk a little. It is just hard to accept new jobs/projects when you know you have no intention on delivering on them. I do have no qualms about my relationship with the company; i was severely underpaid first 3-4 years, but now I'm probably overpaid for my work.