"You're lucky" Responses

[carozy]

Quite an interesting discussion.

I think there is luck (chance that is positive in your life, I like the sound of that) but, more importantly, there is what you do with your life.

I'm one of those who stumbled on this blog and thought, WOW!  I LIKE THIS!  I WANNA DO IT!  And I changed my habits, developed will power, discipline, etc. and with the help of my parents (they're letting me stay with them to save money) and some windfalls of money I was owed, I paid off over $10K in a few short months.  (More details on that in my journal.)

Not everyone's parents would do the same.  I'm lucky there.  But I am the one who chose to change my ways.

I tried to share this super early retirement idea with some friends and my friend wasn't even interested.  She seemed wary of it and didn't want to hear about it.  Like she immediately blocked the idea because she couldn't see how it would be possible.  Her hubby got excited and started talking about retiring at 50.  And that was just from me briefly mentioning the whole savings rate thingy, how you can retire years earlier if your savings rate is high.  But it was a short conversation because I could tell she was against it.  So different people, based on their life experience, or habits, or outlook, or whatever, take this information in different ways.

All I can say is, I'm glad I'm not my friend.  I'm glad I was open-minded enough about this to look into it more and implement changes in my life.  Where she saw a negative, I was intrigued.

Who cares if I was born with an inclination to instant gratification or whatever?  It's obviously possible for people to change their ways and develop will power, luck or no luck.

[eostache]

Years ago I had a wise person say to me: "You're lucky. You know how to get by on nothing." It wasn't envy. She knew I was on the right track.

[BPA]

I think the dickish part was "I go home and I focus on trying to become a better person"....I mean give me a break, who says shit like that out loud?  If someone actually said that to me I'd roll my eyes and walk away with throw up in my mouth.

+1

And I wouldn't envy anyone with that kind of superior attitude. 

[fb132]

Quite an interesting discussion.

I think there is luck (chance that is positive in your life, I like the sound of that) but, more importantly, there is what you do with your life.

I'm one of those who stumbled on this blog and thought, WOW!  I LIKE THIS!  I WANNA DO IT!  And I changed my habits, developed will power, discipline, etc. and with the help of my parents (they're letting me stay with them to save money) and some windfalls of money I was owed, I paid off over $10K in a few short months.  (More details on that in my journal.)

Not everyone's parents would do the same.  I'm lucky there.  But I am the one who chose to change my ways.

I tried to share this super early retirement idea with some friends and my friend wasn't even interested.  She seemed wary of it and didn't want to hear about it.  Like she immediately blocked the idea because she couldn't see how it would be possible.  Her hubby got excited and started talking about retiring at 50.  And that was just from me briefly mentioning the whole savings rate thingy, how you can retire years earlier if your savings rate is high.  But it was a short conversation because I could tell she was against it.  So different people, based on their life experience, or habits, or outlook, or whatever, take this information in different ways.

All I can say is, I'm glad I'm not my friend.  I'm glad I was open-minded enough about this to look into it more and implement changes in my life.  Where she saw a negative, I was intrigued.

Who cares if I was born with an inclination to instant gratification or whatever?  It's obviously possible for people to change their ways and develop will power, luck or no luck.

I am exactly in your shoes. I live with my parents so that I can save as much as I can, plus its a win-win situation for both of us, my parents pay less since I help them out with payments, but at the sametime, my payments are nowhere near than if I were to rent an appartment. In that sense, I feel lucky. Nonetheless, despite all this, I still have to stay motivated and disciplined in order to save money, because there are times I can tell you my mind simply says "SPEND SPEND SPEND", thankfully I learned to tame it. Not everyone can do that wether they live with their parents or not.

[kite]

The thing that disturbs me about the whole exchange is that it happens at all.  I don't tell anyone my savings,  networth, debt or income.  I don't volunteer details about my spending habits and don't ask them of others.  I know people who think nothing of sharing these kinds of things,  and I tend not to believe much of it.  It's been my observation that those are the same people who'll talk about their sex life or gastrointestinal tract.
If someone is lamenting their current money woes and appears to be a spendy sort, I don't feel compelled to remind them how well I'm managing my life.  I prefer if they think I'm poor.  Also, people are liars and while they may not set out to deceive,  they aren't giving you the full picture.   Likewise,  when someone is boasting about the great returns on a certain investment or casino visit,  I'm taking it with a grain of salt.  By midlife,  I've learned to deftly change the subject.

[sobezen]

@ trailrated:

Over the years I researched how successful people achieved their goals and I found at the core of their successes was smart hard work. I find this inspiring and often times a good reminder to stay focused. I have found some people react to direct challenges in different ways. If you call them out they might rise up. While other people when confronted react differently. I think there is no right or wrong. We each choose our own paths to walk in life and must accept the consequences for our choices.

When I want to acknowledge people who say I am lucky, I simply smile and say thank you. Beyond that I do not feel I need to justify or explain myself to others. However, your comment do not offend me. I feel your direct questions are actually what I needed to hear when I was younger and not taking responsibility for my life. I must confess however, I am weird. I feel if you can show or tell me ways that help me become more efficient, healthy and successful, odds are I will genuinely consider it. YMMV.

Cheers! :)

[trailrated]

Appreciate the message @sobezen.

On a similar note I had a friend that was a girl who was overweight and nobody ever brought it up as not to be rude. One day she said someone said something very direct to her about it. It may have hurt her feelings at the time but now a year later she is in great shape, healthy and happy, and told me she is thankful for the hurtful comments that person had made.

I don't think it is right to go around and belittle people, but for a select few that might be what is needed. If it get's someone to change their life for the better it might be a good thing.

As I said earlier I am not proud of the way I initially reacted, and based off of the person's response when I apologized I do not believe this is relevant to them.

[retired?]

I think it has to be interpreted as "I wish I were in your opinion".  One response would be to offer help/tips.  People often don't think about the meaning of what the words (coming out their mouths) mean literally.

My issue isn't with people saying "you're lucky".  It is more with people who are in disbelief that you can actually RE.  Or, think you are lazy for doing so.  "Friend" at dinner last weekend directly asked my wife "so, it doesn't bother you that he's not working?".

[retired?]

"typo"...........meant to write "I wish I were in your position".

[Cinder]

"I wish I were in your opinion".

"typo"...........meant to write "I wish I were in your position".

I thought I was missing some new interpretation that was so amazing my mind couldn't comprehend it!