$25k for engagement ring

[robertevans]

About to throw $25k into the incinerator. The GF is otherwise very Mustachian (she has spent less than $500 this year on clothing, almost nothing on beauty, nothing on transportation, cooks at home when possible and is a high earner), but I cannot get her to shake her desire for a 2 carat solitaire ring. Most of her friends have similar and given our jobs and peer set, this seems to be expected. Marginally, I can likely find something for closer to $20k, but I know that even at that price, the purchase will cause lasting pain in my brain.

I am at the point of surrender; so, any suggestions on how to purchase something like this? I've checked bluenile.com and jamesallen.com and am leaning towards jamesallen.com. I do not personally know any jewelers, but I know that retail is not a great way to go. Any suggestions (or commiseration) greatly appreciated.

Thanks all

[Shade00]

This makes my heart hurt.

If you must buy the expensive shiny trinket, try to find a "used" ring. Diamonds/engagement rings don't exactly hold their value. Find an ugly ring with the stone you want, buy at a significant discount, and have it set in a new setting for a few hundred bucks.

Of course, if your girlfriend insists on such a ring in the first place, she may well think that a "used" ring is bad luck or some nonsense.

[hunniebun]

That is a tough one. Have you talked about why it is important to her to have such an expensive ring?  What is the root of this want (keeping up with friends? Childhood fantasy? temporary wedding related insanity? a proof of love?)  Maybe getting to the root of why she wants it will help you come up with a workable solution :)

[daveydinner]

Etsy is a good place to look.

https://www.etsy.com/search?q=solitare

I got my engagment ring there. My wife is a jeweler and designs gold stuff for a living, so she preferred that I get something made by an independent artist like herself  on Etsy (she doesn't make diamond engagement rings though sorry!)  rather than a stock design. You can shop with her on Etsy then contact the seller and they'll make something more unique or special for her tastes.

There's also lots of antique and vintage stuff on there that can be resized to her finger... and that can appeal to an environmental/human angle because nobody had to mine another diamond from somewhere questionable. In any case she'd get something that all the other girls don't have because it's not available through the ring stores.

You'll be happy with the prices you see there.

Hope that helps and congrats.

[gimp]

That blows.

With that said, it will do no good to say shit like "that would be a dealbreaker for me" or "you should blah blah convince her" because we're not you, and it'll just add more stress to your already-stressed decision.

So.

I don't know too much about jewelry, but what I'd think is:

- Lab-grown is cheaper, and also better in pretty much every way.
- Diamonds bought retail are expensive as fuck, if you buy one that was already purchased before you can probably get it for, like, 30% of the retail price.
- Diamonds are expensive... other very nice rocks much less so. All colors of sapphires (including rubies), for example. Emeralds. A two-carat sapphire can be bought retail for under five grand. Especially if you look for different colors, not just blue.
- Many retail stores offer massive discounts on diamonds occasionally, because of how cheap they are wholesale.
- Interestingly, Etsy has a lot of small merchants who buy rough wholesale rocks and cut them themselves, and it's way cheaper than most retail stores.

[Bob W]

Time to negotiate to set the tone for the marriage.  Next thing she'll want is a 30K wedding because "hey, I only spend 500 per year on clothes and I deserve it."

So here is a tactic -  "Darling Dearest, will we be having children in this marriage?"  "yes?"  "would you like them to go to college?"   "Great,  because if we put the 25K into a 9% investment for them, by the time they are 20ish that will be around 200K we could put towards their education"

If that doesn't fly you are perhaps dealing with a terrorist -- People don't demand gifts after all.   So set the tone.  Learn to say no politely.   "umm, you know I really put a lot of thought into that and decided to set the money aside for our future and perhaps a house downpayment (or whatever)"

You can then buy a very nice CZ ring for $300 and throw in a bonus of a 4K honeymoon.

I would suggest keeping separate accounts.

[robertevans]

Thanks for initial suggestions. Will definitely check out Etsy. Had heard of it in the past, but had no idea they offered jewelry. Would be great to support an independent designer. Used is also a great idea; I assume that a diamond can't really show wear and tear.

Luckily, she wants a simple wedding, maybe in her hometown, so not envisioning a big outlay there.

No sense in arguing because that will just lead to her sad and me feeling bad. I really think it is something a lot of girls have had in their head since a young age. The power of marketing, I guess. Reason goes out the window.

[Copperwood]

mr evans,

the future mrs. needs to buy into your investment/spending philosophy (and vice-versa).

You already know this purchase does not make sense. Communicate she's worth the money, but that $25k can go to other things, like a down payment for a house.

[Less]

mostly posting to follow. I am interested to see peoples thoughts.

My SO and I both still have some of the wants for the big shiny wedding experience one day, but when we started talking about the choice between a 25k ring and $1000 EVERY YEAR to do something fun had to pause for thought. For us we are both working and earning at similar levels so to us it would make sense to share the wedding costs evenly. These are modern times. Ask her to buy you a 25k wedding band/gift and see how it plays out? Personally I think Motorcycles and Diamonds probably depreciate at a similar rate?

Or go truly frugal and give her an engagement term deposit. At least it will appreciate, if not be appreciated!

[NonprofitER]

HOLY STATUS SYMBOL BATMAN!

I joke... but yeesh.

Diamonds (as in African diamonds) are ethically challenging... that might be worth mentioning.
I'm not even going to delve into the gender identity stuff here, but my inner gender studies major is cringing.

I support the lab-grown, used (call it "vintage" and it ups the approval rate) options.  And I think different stones can be very classy and much less expensive. 

As Bob W mentioned, setting the tone for financial sanity (ESPECIALLY when it comes to big ticket, emotional purchases) would be good. 

Congrats on the impending marriage. 

[slugline]

I wish I could add constructive advice, and it sounds like you know what you're facing. I'm very curious to know if the expectation comes from that three- months-of-his-salary thing that I keep seeing.

Good luck -- and have you started shopping for insurance too? That's brand-new-car  level of expenditure!

[Patrick A]

I think this one is worth talking through with her, cuz that's a bit of a ridiculous demand. 

There's absolutely no way to get her down to even $10,000?  1 carat can look pretty damn big as long as you don't have large hands and fingers. 

Whatever you end up doing, ask around about jewelers and find a good one.  Some mark stones up MUCH more than others.  I managed to find a great one through friend/family recommendations and was very happy with the result & price. 

[NathanP]

Reading this thread is painful for me as it brings back memories. My girlfriend (now wife) wanted the same 2 ct+ engagement ring just like her friends have. For months I thought about it, tried to rationalize the purchase, and proposed other options to her. She was unwilling to budge. I nearly called off the relationship knowing that if she couldn't be happy with a "basic" 1ct diamond then there was no hope.

Finally I told her that I couldn't afford that type of ring and that we could upgrade her ring in the future (5+ years from now). She seemed to go along with that and I proposed with my 1ct ring and we are now married. It has been a little over 2 years since the proposal and my wife is still set on getting that 2ct stone in a few years. Periodically when we discuss money I bring up the fact that we are doing well by maxing our 401k accounts and paying down the mortgage...but we don't have $20k+ sitting around for a rock. We have two children and she honestly would rather have the ring than to better help them through college! Fortunately my wife does earn a decent salary and I think she is happy to continue working if it allows her to get everything (ring soon, help with college later, ...). She may change her mind once she sees me go to part-time work in a few years!

Thankfully she is only this way about "her ring" and I hope that she will become more reasonable as she ages. Luckily I can and have used the ring as leverage against buying a larger/fancier house and for keeping our aging vehicles.

Good luck to you OP.

[jba302]

I had an ex like this. My lesson cost me $15k. I learned much.

[Frankies Girl]

I'd suggest you also reframe the "used" to buying a vintage/antique ring. These are much more unique and beautiful than the custom junk you'd get in a store now and cost significantly less, while still being gorgeous and she'd have the added bonus of bragging on her ring as a one of a kind vintage (since it seems she is the type that needs to have something to brag about by her insisting on a 2 carat? Instead of the size, how about the cool style - vintage couture has an undeniable coolness factor).

Rings like this are amazing and beautiful and a part of HISTORY.

this is one of the few online jewelers I know/trust that deal with vintage rings, but I am sure there are tons of brick and mortar places, and even more website places that may be just as good.

http://ericaweiner.com/products/1940s-platinum-engagement-ring-with-77ct-round-brilliant#.VJCfqic3DYA
http://ericaweiner.com/products/c-1950s-platinum-mounting-with-diamond-baguettes#.VJCgayc3DYA
http://ericaweiner.com/products/20s-diamond#.VJCgkic3DYA
http://ericaweiner.com/products/1930s-deco-plat-diamond-ring#.VJCguCc3DYA

[benjenn]

Wow, this thread really hit home with me today... not because I want (or have) a $25K diamond ring but because hubby and I have been debating with the idea of selling the wedding/engagement rings I DO have! 

When we were getting married 6 years ago (before even considering ourselves frugal at all), I told him I didn't need a diamond, a simple band would be fine.  But he said it would mean a lot to him to buy me a diamond and I let him.  He bought a beautiful ring with a .58 ct high quality VS1 D color diamond on a platinum band.  The wedding band has small round and baguette diamonds all across in a channel setting.  They are beautiful rings and not to gawdy or pretentious at all... but still cost $7K. 

Now the idea of having that much money tied up in jewelry just undoes me.  But so does the idea of letting them go for less than half what we paid for them.  I'm just not sure I can stomach that.  We're trying to decide if we hold on them and make them heirlooms we can pass down when the time comes or just sell them and be done with it.  The idea of spending over $20K on jewelry just astounds me... wow.

[austin]

This probably won't be the first terrilbly expensive thing she won't be able to shake her desire for. : (

[Josiecat]

I think you can get a lovely two carat stone somewhere like the diamond district in NYC or a pawn shop.  Then have the diamond set at a jeweler.  Blue Nile, etc are mega expensive.  It's the quality of the stone that is the most important.

[th0rbahn]

moissanite
picking up the $800 .75 carat equivalent moissanite solitaire ring that my new fiance and I picked out together in about 30 minutes from the post office. will report back!

edit:

we love it!
http://i.imgur.com/lzYzBic.jpg?1

[BarkyardBQ]

Made both of ours with a jeweler from the same piece of platinum, took about 9 hours of work, but the process is worth more to us than the product could ever be. Wife hates diamonds, went with her birth stones. Spent 3k.

[AlexK]

One of the best decisions I've made was to keep looking until I found a non-materialistic spouse. It was hard but worth it. She's happy with her $400 titanium and CZ ring. Good luck to you, you'll need it. And get a prenup.

[minimustache1985]

I agree with looking at vintage/antique rings, and lab created diamonds (non-conflict AND way cheaper), or pawn shops.  Don't get too caught up in the C's- if it looks nice to your eyes and shines well on her hand the rating it earns under the microscope doesn't need to be VS1- but do make sure the diamond comes with the paperwork to support what they're selling you so you can insure it properly and not get swindled.

Also have her try some on to get an idea of what cut/style she likes- she might like it in theory but find 2ct to be heavy and finger-dwarfing during that process.  Mine is 0.8? I think, and I can't imagine it being much bigger without being obstructive.  One old college buddy "joked" to me that "he didn't even buy you a whole carat", and initially it did hurt my feelings but it didn't make me want a bigger ring- it made me cross him off the invite list.

[TomTX]

Big ass white sapphire, lab grown. Chemically and physically identical to a natural one.

[me2bfree]

I go with Frankies Girl for this one. I have a confession to make -- after 40 years of marriage, I spent my own money to buy myself a great big rock. I know it isn't mustachian, but dammit I wanted it for 40 years and I finally got it this past summer. I saved up and paid cash, if that helps my case at all. I bought it "used", but who can tell if a diamond is used or not? It's a 1940's-era platinum mounting with a nice, big, fat emerald-cut diamond in the 2.3 carat range, VS1, I color. It's a little warm. It's a lot of fun to look at. I didn't overpay. I didn't get ripped off in any way unless you consider that I fell for the whole diamond scam. Damn, did I mention it's fun to look at?

I can recommend a couple of things: find out about diamonds. Since I like emerald cut stones, I knew I'd need to stay on the clearer side. A slightly warm color doesn't bother me, so I is fine, but K is rather dishwatery in color. Don't pay for what you can't see. If you can't tell the difference between D and J, then buy J. If you can't see a blemish at SI-2, then buy one of those, why pay for zero flaws if you can't see the ones that are there anyway?

Consider an older or weirder cut. I love emerald-cuts, but lots of people don't. I hate princess cuts and lots of people love them. Lucky me. I love round brilliants, the most common cut, but I love Old European cuts even more. They're thicker, have a smaller flat table on top, and reflect candlelight into millions of beautiful colors. They tend to cost less too.

Get all Princess-Diana and rock a colored gem for your main stone. Her sapphire engagement ring was copied around the world.

I bought my diamond via Craigslist from a family that inherited it and needed to pay for a kid's college. I met the seller in the office of a well-known private appraising jeweler. She let me look at it through the microscope and explained her grading and price. All of this comforted me, even though I know a lot about diamonds now. I paid half what this stone would cost me from a regular jewelry store, and the mounting was thrown in for free. (I love the vintage mounting.)

I have seen lovely diamonds in pawn shops (they use diamond testers and you aren't likely to get a fake stone at least). I've seen awesome ones at really good antique malls, with vintage mountings, cool side stones like sapphires and emeralds, and neat old Euro cuts and even some rose-cuts. Those are wonderful. Get a loup and learn how to use it.

If all else fails, consider a place like Affordable Diamonds Online down in Oregon, there's no sales tax down there and their prices are rather good!

I hope any of this helps.

 

[sf56]

Pretty sure this would be a deal breaker for me. Maybe you are just in a higher tax bracket than my family, but for us $25k goes a long way. If she can't understand the potential that kind of money would have in starting a life together (and a family) then I'm not sure I would want to continue moving forward with that relationship. I don't intend for that to sound cold or mean, it would just be a huge red flag that our values weren't in alignment.

[Bob W]

(rant warning -- turn away)

And this just in ---

It appears that those who spend more on engagement rings are 1.6 times more likely to get divorced at the outrageously 50% rate already.  So just from the get go you're at an 80% chance of getting divorced.  Diamonds may last forever but apparently love is a temporary condition.   It also appears that you closet lacks a pair of pants.

http://www.thefrisky.com/2014-11-13/study-the-cost-of-your-wedding-engagement-ring-can-predict-divorce/

I retract my previous post to share this -  "honey you know I was visiting with some friends and they all thought you asking for a specific ring size (it is a freaking gift after all) was inappropriate.  I agree with them" 

End of discussion.   

Then do whatever the fuck you want other than buy her a 25K ring.   I'm thinking a weekend with 3 of your best pals partying like rock stars wherever the hell you want for a weekend.   

When you do rollover be sure the prenup  addresses the ring (returns to you) child custody,  alimony and anything else your attorney can think of.  Marriage is easy and relatively inexpensive but divorces are messy and costly.

[me2bfree]

P.S. Here's a Craigslist ring in the Bay area.

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/jwl/4807335704.html

I think this is gorgeous at 1/3 the price, your mileage may vary.

[Khaetra]

Run quickly away and do not look back.  It'll start with the ring, then it'll be a "little nicer but more expensive" car, then "but honey, this house will have so much more room than...".  Don't do it, don't give in, not only no but h*ll no!  You're a fool if you do.

[AJDZee]

bahahahaha my gf insists she will be PISSED if I spend more than $200 for a wedding ring and pointed me to some nice rings on Etsy.

I think it's funny you'd ask a forum of people who discuss being frugal and to find happiness outside the realm of mindless consumer spending HOW to go about spending $20-25k for a rock.

Enjoy and good luck...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5kWu1ifBGU&sns=em

[lava]

I can't believe this is the post that finally got me out of lurking status, but there it is.  I am also in San Francisco, and wanted a huge, sparkly ring when we got engaged, but couldn't stomach the cost/ethical issues. 

Solution: RedStart Design in the Mission. (https://www.redstartdesign.com/) 

They custom-designed an AWESOME ring for me with two small family diamonds that we had and a huge lab-sapphire that they sourced for me.  I basically got to pick the biggest one that didn't look ridiculous because the price is so incredibly reasonable.  Also, they are an absolute pleasure to work with, and can help you design the ring yourself if your fiance wants it to be a surprise.

The final ring is GORGEOUS--I still get comments pretty regularly two-plus years after the wedding, and obviously, no one can tell from looking at it that the sapphire is from a lab. 

[wtjbatman]

You could try http://www.idonowidont.com

That's where I bought my fiances engagement ring. It's a gorgeous 1.5 carat diamond solitaire. It's not 25k... but it's not some piece of crap $200 ring either (why waste the money at that point? just tie a string or get one of them classy ring tattoos).

[Mrs. PoP]

Consider me another vote for vintage, bonus points for any heirloom stones kicking around either of your families.  My rings were worn by Mr PoP's great grandmother, and we recently had them engraved with our initials and wedding date next to theirs... which were scribed in there in 1917.  At 1 carat, it's "small" by some standards, but definitely more of a conversation starter than getting a carbon copy of the same ring half of our social cohort has. 

[Turkey Leg]

$12.95 for a 10k gold band from Walmart. :) I assume it would cost a bit more these days.

[Frankies Girl]

bahahahaha my gf insists she will be PISSED if I spend more than $200 for a wedding ring and pointed me to some nice rings on Etsy.

This was me too. I currently wear a $7 stainless steel band that matches my husband's that we found in a flea market. My $200 engagement ring sits in a drawer because I got tired of knocking the shit out of the setting and now am debating about just selling that sucker. Guess what? I still love my husband, he still loves me and we are still married. The ring is technically nothing more than a symbol and we really don't even need that.  ;)

I also gotta say... if the OP's lady is insisting on a $20K price/2 karat ring or nothing... then I'd take the nothing. If she can't be happy with a beautiful 2-5K ring (which is still crazy in my book, but at least it's not a freaking car or downpayment on a house) that's sad and a red flag to stop and really think about, OP.

It's kind of fucked up if she is using her friends/family members' opinions and her own personal hangups over the worth of what is supposed to be nothing more than a symbol of your union as a scale of how much she is worth/how much you love her. And if she can't see that, then maybe y'all need to have a more serious discussion? Cause I agree with the others about how this is a good sign of how she'll be on other issue that will come up (wedding, kids, housing, etc...).

 

[Jags4186]

I bought an incredibly unmustachian 1.5 carat solitaire for $7900 last year, GIA, Excellent cut, J color, medium fluorescence. I would recommend comparing that to a 2 carat and go from there. She may not even be able to tell the difference in the size

[netskyblue]

Avoid anything with an EGL certificate.  Especially those certified in Israel.  They are notoriously wrong  - as in, you're paying for an H, VS1 diamond, and you think you're getting a great deal compared to what you'd pay in a jewelry store.  But what you're really getting is a K, SI1, and you're paying more for it than you'd pay at a jewelry store for a  K, SI1 of the same weight with a GIA certificate.

Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with getting a K, SI1...just that you shouldn't be misled into paying more for it than it's worth** by it being misrepresented as something it's not.

**yeah yeah, "worth" is certainly relative.  I work for a high end jewelry store, and I can't say they hold that much value FOR ME!

Here's a link that explains what I'm talking about:  https://www.diamonds.pro/egl/

Watch the video.  It goes into the Rapaport price sheet, which is what diamond retailers use to price diamonds.  The same stone, according to the GIA grading, was valued at 3,000 per carat, by EGL-USA: 5,000 per carat, and by EGL-Israel: 7,500 per carat.

What they were passing off as a D, VS2 "should" be valued at $7,500 per carat.  Say you find that online for $4,200 per carat.  Wow, what a discount, right?  Nope.  Because it's really an F, I1 "worth" $3,000 per carat.

[Yankuba]

I used UnionDiamond.com for the stone and bought a setting from a local jeweler. If you buy online make sure to spend the extra few hundred bucks to get it appraised by a professional - to make sure what they sent you matches the certificate. Don't forget to consider insurance for the ring. I pay $262 per year for my policy - the ring was valued at around $15K in 2008, so your insurance will probably be a bit more.

[GizmoTX]

$12.95 for a 10k gold band from Walmart. :) I assume it would cost a bit more these days.

My engagement ring is less than 1 carat -- we didn't have much money & my Chicagoan SO didn't want me getting mugged :-). It came with a wedding band that fit into the setting, but it always twisted. Later on, I preferred just a plain 10K gold band for business wear. Found it at Sears for $25. Today the gold is worth many hundreds of dollars more.

I somehow got nerve damage in my left hand & can no longer wear my rings.

[Cyanne]

I know that some are saying run away but one desire does not necessarily mean a lifetime of high maintenance. My husband bought me a large diamond wedding ring (over 2 carats). It has NOT translated into requests for a McMansion, new cars or expensive wardrobe. Why does she want a large ring? Mine was a cubic zirconia until our financial position improved and then the fake was replaced with a larger real diamond a couple years in.

Can you find a wholesaler? My ring cost less than half of what a retail jeweler would have cost.

[netskyblue]

I used UnionDiamond.com for the stone and bought a setting from a local jeweler. If you buy online make sure to spend the extra few hundred bucks to get it appraised by a professional - to make sure what they sent you matches the certificate. Don't forget to consider insurance for the ring. I pay $262 per year for my policy - the ring was valued at around $15K in 2008, so your insurance will probably be a bit more.

I think you're paying too much!  I don't know where you live, but I have more than that value on a separate jewelry rider along with my renter's insurance from State Farm, and I only pay around $90/year.

[renaite]

I will second looking at pawn shops. Mine came from a pawn shop that specializes in jewelry, and the stone was "used" but the setting new. It's beautiful and was about half the cost of a similar ring from a chain jeweler. And just remember not to count on it ever maintaining its "value," or being able to sell it for remotely close to what you paid for it, as diamonds are not actually rare in any real way. Their value is solely in marketing and the created illusion that you shouldn't buy used ones.

[gimp]

I used UnionDiamond.com for the stone and bought a setting from a local jeweler. If you buy online make sure to spend the extra few hundred bucks to get it appraised by a professional - to make sure what they sent you matches the certificate. Don't forget to consider insurance for the ring. I pay $262 per year for my policy - the ring was valued at around $15K in 2008, so your insurance will probably be a bit more.

With due respect, and I've said this elsewhere... I know photographers with $15k worth of photography gear, which is bulky and fragile, and gets damaged on shoots due to weather and accidents and negligence, and gets stolen from shoots by guests and stolen during travel... who pay less than $262 a year.

So it's fairly ridiculous to pay $262 for something that is always on your hand, much harder to steal, much harder to break, doesn't care about rain or mud...

[MrsStubble]

oh dear lord!!!

If you are going to buy this ring look for an antique. It will be a much much better diamond and much cheaper. Try rubylane.com.  They have a great selection of rings, usually certified and already appraised.   

[robertevans]

Appreciate all the constructive ideas.

Jags4186 - $7,900 sounds like a bargain, will have to do some more research.

blahblah - not a professional athlete, unfortunately.

[surfhb]

1.   I would question her judgement....I dont care how much you love her
2.   Its very likely it will get lost
3.   Its dangerous to walk around with this kind of money on your finger
4.   Youre being ripped off

[brizna]

Fucking dump her. Jesus.

edit: Rare is the time in your life when a decision is as clear as this.

[MrFancypants]

I wouldn't have even entertained this thought.  I'm sorry you have this dilemma to deal with, I can't imagine how difficult it must be.

[Less]

1.   I would question her judgement....I dont care how much you love her
2.   Its very likely it will get lost
3.   Its dangerous to walk around with this kind of money on your finger
4.   Youre being ripped off

If it was a new ring at 25k then she is not walking around with 25k on her finger. More like 1/3 of that. it might cost that to replace, but for anyone to steak and pawn it is not nearly as valuable.

[Jags4186]

Appreciate all the constructive ideas.

Jags4186 - $7,900 sounds like a bargain, will have to do some more research.

blahblah - not a professional athlete, unfortunately.

I bought through Blue Nile via topcashback.com. Paid about $8500 and got $375 cash back plus 2% cash back on my CC.

[iris lily]

I know that some are saying run away but one desire does not necessarily mean a lifetime of high maintenance. My husband bought me a large diamond wedding ring (over 2 carats). It has NOT translated into requests for a McMansion, new cars or expensive wardrobe. Why does she want a large ring? Mine was a cubic zirconia until our financial position improved and then the fake was replaced with a larger real diamond a couple years in.

...

I'm glad to hear this. The odds are that The Big Ring will not the the last thing that OP's girlfriend will want in order to keep up with the Joneses. But perhaps she will beat the odds and be like you.

I am nearly always supportive of brides in getting the ring they want, style-wise and stone-wise. But when they start dictating size--I no longer support them.

If the OP's intended doesn't know much about quality, that would give me even more pause. If she's describing her dream ring specs only in size, ugh. She may have crappy taste. I do hope that she appreciates shopping around and buying "used" because yes, that's where the savings are. There is nothing special about a new diamond, as long as it is not damaged. My family ring of nearly 100 year old has a scratch and a chip in the center stone, but not where anyone can see it.
 
The poster upthread who bought an emerald cut diamond after 40 years--good for you! I love emerald cuts, they are so classic and gorgeous! I am hoping that your stache is well built and you can well afford it. I do like diamond rings and keep up with trends, but I never buy one for myself, I still have my original engagement ring that's well under a carat, but it has nice specs. It's pretty shiny.