These calculators are excellent. Thanks for posting the links.
I pushed the ER button some years ago now, but did not take any professional advice. It has worked out fine, but one of the things I struggle with is the absence of someone with which to discuss openly my situation. I think the best option would be some type of mentor. The main problem for me is that once I have shared my information it cannot be unshared, and the people I have considered as mentors are friends and family which complicates things further. I have found the information on MMM and other sites to be invaluable. Most of it is better than you would get from an advisor! Having said that, maybe take all the advice you can get - even the bad advice will give you something to think about. Even if you go to one of the big wealth advisors (I have some experience of them, which still makes me shudder) after they have spent a while trying unsuccessfully to sell you high-fee products you might get a nugget of something useful.
Also, OP, remember: happy wife, happy life. She's worried, so a right-minded IFA might be a good investment.