The Money Mustache Community
General Discussion => Throw Down the Gauntlet => Topic started by: Linea_Norway on October 24, 2018, 12:49:04 AM
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It is supposed to be good for you to challenge your fears and get out of your comfort zone from time to time.
For me this week: On Saturday morning I went snorkeling in cold water with a harpoon (in a wetsuit). For me it is pretty far outside my comfort zone to go out in the sea and do this. My DH has free diving as a hobby and wanted to introduce me to the amazing world underwater. It is indeed interesting under water and that's why I do it. I get really nervous each time I see a jellyfish floating almost into my face.
The other thing I did today was driving (backwards) with a big hanger. I can borrow a hanger at my office. Guess who is allowed to drive it home and back it up into the parking place at home? And the next morning back under a roof at work, pushing it there with the car? Me. Even though I always think this isn't a good task for me, I notice that I am in fact getting better at it.
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Good thread. I've been challenging myself and my family to seek experiences outside of our comfort zones. I have been continuing to bike my daughter up to her gymnastics classes despite cold weather settling in. Hoping to get out today to walk some trails despite battling a nasty head cold.
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I submitted e-mails of interest to various department heads of graduate programs. That doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is super intimidating to me. I so want to go to grad school, but some of the steps (talking to professors, asking for letters of recommendation, etc) are way out of my comfort zone. Studying/taking the GRE is the easy part because I'm good at studying...but talking to people I don't know, and contacting professors from undergrad to ask for a favor like a letter of rec completely terrifies me.
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I love this thread! I signed up for a pressure points class at work, and will (hopefully) learn how to loosen up some of my hip tightness.
In other things, I started a journal here, which is pretty outside of my comfort zone, but I wanted to get better at spending time on writing.
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In August, I got a barely-above minimum wage part-time job (starts after my full-time job each day) with the intent of stepping way outside my comfort zone. The idea is that I have to try new things, like all people, to find out if there is something of interest that I just haven’t been exposed to, and if not that, anything I can learn about something I’m not too keen on. So I got a PT job at a gym [gym: noun. A place, in general, which has me scared shitless to step foot in to as a comfortably sedentary person]. I am still working my way through the extreme discomfort, mostly mental at this point – it’ll be two months this week – and try to not regret making the decision to do this (because that’s just fear talking me out of doing something..again..). So I collect, wash, re-fold, and re-distribute the towels.
You’d think it’s no big deal. But it’s a huge deal to me and I am so proud every night when I come home that I made the effort through another day. I’m meeting and talking to new people (scary!), learning about my personal boundaries/limits and how to stick up for myself through a shaky voice (no, we cannot discuss our drug habits, or why you think there is too much culture (non-white people) in this country and why I need to defend my position of more diversity = better, etc..), getting exercise (instead of coming home from a cubicle job and sitting around until bedtime, I’m constantly standing/walking for 5 hours a shift). I’m growing muscles in places, physical and mental, that I didn’t know I had. I’m learning about health, about people, about bodies, about what’s acceptable in the workplace, etc. I am SO HAPPY that I introduced something new to my routine, something that makes me feel very nervous, which means there are just a whole bunch of unknown unknowns and fears that I need to overcome. Plus I get paid and a free gym membership (another hurdle I haven’t explored yet). :)
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@Cezilous - that is a huge step, and it sounds like you are getting a lot out of it already. Congrats!
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@Cezilous , you are doing great. Your second job gets you active and in touch with other people, challenges you to speak your opinion and teaches you to no be afraid of the gym. Soon, you can start doing some excersizes there. Most machines have a modus for light work, to start with as a newbee.
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This is a great thread.
I'm sure if I think more deeply I can think of something else I've done recently, but I'll just stick with today.
I wore a flannel shirt under my blazer to work today. It's a pretty casual and nearly butch look for my religious office workplace, but I disagree with ALL of the politics and ALL of the mission statement at the day job and it's merely a place that pays me money. This is perfectly appropriate for the nature of my work, there's no formal dress code, and honestly I am sick of the BS of the organization. They pay me well, but it's kind of an awful organization. So, my tiny protest? A flannel shirt. :)
I'm uncomfortable, and have a few meetings today, but they can take me as I TRULY am or they can fire me.
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Today, I traveled to Berlin for work, by plane and by public transport. I've never been in Berlin before, so this was all new. I expected there to be another Norwegian familiar person, but he is injured and stayed home. In an hour and a half from now I will travel to another part of the city to meet with unknown people from a company in the same branch, to have dinner with them, for networking. Then I will try to get back to my hotel in the dark, maybe I'll use a taxi. My hotel doesn't seem to be in the best part of the city, but at least it is not far from the conference center. Tomorrow I will join the gala dinner of the conference. Stupid decision, because I hate gala dinners. But I also hate eating alone at a restaurant. I haven't brought any gala clothes, just normal work clothes which are pretty casual. I should have gone for buying supermarket food at my hotel room, which is much better for an introvert like me.
I just mentioned to DH that it starts to feel a bit pointless to network at conferences, if we plan to FIRE next year. He had the same experience on his conference a few days ago.
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I got my hair cut reasonably short (for me). It's actually more work than longer hair, but feels so much lighter! Love it.
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I emailed my senior VP to provide feedback on something. I've never done anything like that in my career. I work for a very large company, & he reports to the CEO. He answered back & was so friendly & polite. Not sure what I was afraid of!
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Love this thread.
Just returned from a longer meditation retreat (11 day retreat with up to 10 hours of meditation for 10 days, total silence including no eye contact/gesturing to others).
Was seriously out of my comfort zone since I normally meditate for 20 minutes at a time (and in bed, ha!) but it was a great, interesting and challenging experiment.
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Love this thread.
Just returned from a longer meditation retreat (11 day retreat with up to 10 hours of meditation for 10 days, total silence including no eye contact/gesturing to others).
Was seriously out of my comfort zone since I normally meditate for 20 minutes at a time (and in bed, ha!) but it was a great, interesting and challenging experiment.
OMG, do you keep a journal on here? I'd love to hear more about this.
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Love this thread.
Just returned from a longer meditation retreat (11 day retreat with up to 10 hours of meditation for 10 days, total silence including no eye contact/gesturing to others).
Was seriously out of my comfort zone since I normally meditate for 20 minutes at a time (and in bed, ha!) but it was a great, interesting and challenging experiment.
OMG, do you keep a journal on here? I'd love to hear more about this.
I figure that might have been a bit like in some of the old monasteries where the monks don't speak.
For me the alternative could have been to go alone for a long hike in the mountains. My DH did that once, 2 x 2 weeks with a little break in the middle to get more food. Being alone for 2 weeks, a good distance from civilization is very special. I am not sure whether he meditated, but he did of course have a lot to time to think about his life.
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This thread helped me over the hurdle - I've just booked 2 nights in Germany, the Schwartzwald (Black Forest) region. It's gotta be gorgeous in fall. I was very hesitant, because I'm quite tight with my money and while I love travelling, I don't like to spend money on myself. Well, I worked frigging hard and I need a break and I'm going to enjoy it. Might even get a massage in one of the spas. Ha!
(Yes it's a bit anti-Mustachian but all work and no play makes Jack a freaking axe-murderer okay?)
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I took part in a medical trial that involved a sponge on a string being dragged up my throat, a most unpleasant experience and definitely outside my comfort zone.
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I took part in a medical trial that involved a sponge on a string being dragged up my throat, a most unpleasant experience and definitely outside my comfort zone.
Yikes!! You're braver than me. Well done!
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Love this thread.
Just returned from a longer meditation retreat (11 day retreat with up to 10 hours of meditation for 10 days, total silence including no eye contact/gesturing to others).
Was seriously out of my comfort zone since I normally meditate for 20 minutes at a time (and in bed, ha!) but it was a great, interesting and challenging experiment.
OMG, do you keep a journal on here? I'd love to hear more about this.
I don't have a journal yet but it truly was an interesting experience @JanetJackson
I'm in a pretty solid place both emotionally and in life, but it still stirred up so many interesting emotions and thoughts. When you spend so much time in introspective examination of your mind you really see the repetitive thought patterns and notice how difficult it is to stay in the present moment (even when that is the ONLY task at hand), etc--it really can rock your understanding of yourself. Or at least that was my experience. Conceptually I've understood these ideas before but this was like a boot-camp experience of your own mind-loops.
My personal mental conditioning and habits of reactivity became more apparent..it's hard to look at but also an amazing opportunity for growth.
Also this type of meditation focuses on breathing and body sensations so there was a reckoning to be had with the realization that I was disconnected from many parts of my body and actually could not feel anything in many areas..but with patience and attention, this changes. It's a life-practice that's for sure!
I had definite up and down moments throughout each day, and have to admit was excited to come home afterwards but my take-aways have been noticeable. I would even consider doing it again in a year if I can maintain a daily practice going forward.
This place had pretty strict rules around the non-engagement with others to keep your work and experience truly your own. I loved that component, others hated it (when silence was broken on the 10th day, I had to go back into the meditation hall to get away from the racket..while others were practically exploding with excitement to speak) :)
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This is a fantastic idea, although today I'm simply posting to follow. I spent the day indulging all the things that are comfortable for me and not doing much of anything outside my comfort zone, because I just finished "working" far more than full-time on the American elections. But I am facing the rest of my life as an honest-to-go retired person starting now. And doing things outside my comfort zone is *on my list*! I have lots of specific items on the list, but also love the idea of this thread and just want to find random ways to do it frequently as well.
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Love this thread. Today I uninstalled my water heater instead of paying someone to do it.
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Just wrote the editor of a local magazine and pitched a story (for the first time!)
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I juuuust turned down a client who was trying to negotiate my rates down for a booking on the thanksgiving holiday ( I own and operate a dog walking business ).
I’m a people pleaser and cringe when I even THINK about turning away money... but I know from the volume of holiday requests that this was the right thing to do. And they were understanding.
STILL... very uncomfortable. I feel physically sick.
Update: Got a smaller, but easier booking 10 minutes later from a client who was happy to pay full price. Still marinating in the idea that I could have done BOTH (and stressed myself into oblivion), but I think I did the right thing.
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@JanetJackson - you did the right thing! I am also a total people pleaser, and can relate. But, it's not always helpful. Do what's right for you!
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Good for you @JanetJackson! Fighting that people pleasing urge can be tough. And I'm pleasantly surprised to see your story yesterday, because I literally opened this thread to post a somewhat similar one of my own.
I wouldn't say I'm typically a people pleaser, but tend to isolate more than speak up for myself. Speaking up for my needs in relationships always brings up an insane amount of anxiety and insecurity for me, so I don't really give people the opportunity to adjust in a way that satisfies me. Well, right now talking to a company about joining them and starting a research division for them. I'm excited about it, because it's a great crew of people doing interesting and meaningful work in an area where I want to live, but I'm also worried that I'd be isolated as "the lone researcher." I had dinner with them last night and, rather than dodging that issue, I brought up that it was a concern of mine. Everybody seemed very willing to talk about it, and we brainstormed what collaborations between the new research division and existing roles could look like. Everything is still very abstract right now so I'm not completely satisfied, but I like how willing they were to discuss it. It was a moment of growth for me, and a very positive experience. Now I just need to convince my emotions to see it that way ;-)
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You totally did the right thing JJ!!
My out-of-my-comfortzones achievements
- Went to drinks of my sports club. I haven't been a member yet for a long time so I was a bit hesitant to go. It was fun and it will get easier to go over time as I get to know more and more people.
- Uploaded some teaching resources on an onine sharing website. I'm currently sharing them for free, but intending to upload some larger ones that need to be paid for in the future.
- Booked a hostel with a really low rating for a weekend trip as all the good price/quality hostels were sold out and everything left was at least twice the price of this one. It will be for 1 night only so as long as I'll get 6+ hours of sleep I'll take it.
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Spoke up about an issue at work to a different person when I felt that the first person I spoke with was not receptive/didn't take action.
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I am glad to visit this thread. since august my life has lost normal comfort for me. We quit our jobs, sold our house and moved to the country. It was meant to reduce expenses and have recreation at our front door. that was the easy part.
My factory job was repetitive and paid well but I gave it up. Now I am a plain old laborer in a city park. everyday has constant changes;tasks, weather, equipment, boss's temperament. The idea was a more meaningful purpose to my work; and it is true to an extent, but convincing all parts of my brain how great that is is hard.
Home life includes painting, wiring issues, plumbing and not much "down" time.
The market won't even throw a bone of contentment my way. Down since our move. Getting this out is helpful and thanks for being there MMM community.
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I am glad to visit this thread. since august my life has lost normal comfort for me. We quit our jobs, sold our house and moved to the country. It was meant to reduce expenses and have recreation at our front door. that was the easy part.
My factory job was repetitive and paid well but I gave it up. Now I am a plain old laborer in a city park. everyday has constant changes;tasks, weather, equipment, boss's temperament. The idea was a more meaningful purpose to my work; and it is true to an extent, but convincing all parts of my brain how great that is is hard.
Home life includes painting, wiring issues, plumbing and not much "down" time.
The market won't even throw a bone of contentment my way. Down since our move. Getting this out is helpful and thanks for being there MMM community.
I'm sorry your life hack didn't work out all the way you expected.
Do you think your move would have worked out of you wouldn't have to work? Did the are itself work out?
The market also sucks for me. I think the Norwegian crown is very low at the moment. All the stock I buy now is very expensive compared to the rest of the year. Difficult to make a profit of it later. The market is supposed to go up again in the long run.
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My part time job asked me if I could cover a few shifts during the month of December. Usually I try to help out and take 1 or 2 extra shifts each month. This time I said no, I can't take on anything extra (and I had already taken 3 of my regular days off). I felt really bad about it, I sat there and sweated over hitting the "send text" button with my "no", and now I'm working through why I felt bad about something I shouldn't have felt that for. It's an opportunity to learn about my emotions and self expectations.
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My part time job asked me if I could cover a few shifts during the month of December. Usually I try to help out and take 1 or 2 extra shifts each month. This time I said no, I can't take on anything extra (and I had already taken 3 of my regular days off). I felt really bad about it, I sat there and sweated over hitting the "send text" button with my "no", and now I'm working through why I felt bad about something I shouldn't have felt that for. It's an opportunity to learn about my emotions and self expectations.
It is because you feel responsible for your job. You boss could also hire more personnel, so that the amount of overtime per person could be less.
I once had that too. I called in sick for a physical job (coffee serving/bartending in a theater), because I was sick. I was told that I was the third called in sick that day. Could I please not come to work anyway? I felt bad about claiming my sick leave, even though it was the only sick leave in my 2 year career there.
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This is a great thread.
I'm sure if I think more deeply I can think of something else I've done recently, but I'll just stick with today.
I wore a flannel shirt under my blazer to work today. It's a pretty casual and nearly butch look for my religious office workplace, but I disagree with ALL of the politics and ALL of the mission statement at the day job and it's merely a place that pays me money. This is perfectly appropriate for the nature of my work, there's no formal dress code, and honestly I am sick of the BS of the organization. They pay me well, but it's kind of an awful organization. So, my tiny protest? A flannel shirt. :)
Just following up on this as I've been dipping my toe more and more out of my comfort zone at Day Job... My dress pants ripped in the beginning of the month... I had already stitched them two times that I can remember, maybe more. So... :::Drumroll plz:::
I've been wearing jeans to work!
AND NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE.
I was very very uncomfortable at first, waiting for people to take me less seriously, waiting for pushback from somewhere, but I do a great job, so... whatever. It's jeans from now on.
:p
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Just following up on this as I've been dipping my toe more and more out of my comfort zone at Day Job... My dress pants ripped in the beginning of the month... I had already stitched them two times that I can remember, maybe more. So... :::Drumroll plz:::
I've been wearing jeans to work!
AND NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE.
I was very very uncomfortable at first, waiting for people to take me less seriously, waiting for pushback from somewhere, but I do a great job, so... whatever. It's jeans from now on.
:p
Ha, amazing. Congratulations on your liberation from a perceived dress-code @JanetJackson !!
I am stepping out of my comfort zone by going to work and a Christmas party afterwards and having my SO host a dinner party at our home without me doing any pre-cleaning. This gathering is his thing and I will be home in time for dessert with everyone but I decided not to spend my morning scrubbing things.
Feels great!
:)
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I stepped out of my comfort zone yesterday by going to a Korean spa with a couple friends where the website specifically says it is not for modest people. No bathing suits allowed! I am pretty modest, and particularly in front of friends/people I know. I find it easier to be naked, I guess, in front of strangers! (In the right context, of course!, like my previous experience - a Japanese on-sen.)
It worked out well, and I had a great, inexpensive spa treatment in addition to a couple relaxing hours in the tubs and saunas. I think it's important for body image/positivity reasons. We should see a lot more of regular naked people than airbrushed super model (nearly) naked people and we might all feel less bad about ourselves and more thankful for the great jobs our bodies do for us all the time. After backpacking a rather tough trail last week and this experience being around "normal" women, I am significantly more appreciative and less critical of my body.
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I stepped out of my comfort zone yesterday by going to a Korean spa with a couple friends where the website specifically says it is not for modest people. No bathing suits allowed! I am pretty modest, and particularly in front of friends/people I know. I find it easier to be naked, I guess, in front of strangers! (In the right context, of course!, like my previous experience - a Japanese on-sen.)
It worked out well, and I had a great, inexpensive spa treatment in addition to a couple relaxing hours in the tubs and saunas. I think it's important for body image/positivity reasons. We should see a lot more of regular naked people than airbrushed super model (nearly) naked people and we might all feel less bad about ourselves and more thankful for the great jobs our bodies do for us all the time. After backpacking a rather tough trail last week and this experience being around "normal" women, I am significantly more appreciative and less critical of my body.
One of my female co-workers had a free ticket to a sauna where visitors can choose bathing suit or not. She wore a bathing suit. For her it was very new being among so many naked people. The ones who behaved normally were no problem for her. But there was also a category of men explisitely showing off their bodies in a prominent way. She was very uncomfortable with that. Her conclusion was that she didn't want to go there again, because of those show-off types.
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I stepped out of my comfort zone yesterday by going to a Korean spa with a couple friends where the website specifically says it is not for modest people. No bathing suits allowed! I am pretty modest, and particularly in front of friends/people I know. I find it easier to be naked, I guess, in front of strangers! (In the right context, of course!, like my previous experience - a Japanese on-sen.)
It worked out well, and I had a great, inexpensive spa treatment in addition to a couple relaxing hours in the tubs and saunas. I think it's important for body image/positivity reasons. We should see a lot more of regular naked people than airbrushed super model (nearly) naked people and we might all feel less bad about ourselves and more thankful for the great jobs our bodies do for us all the time. After backpacking a rather tough trail last week and this experience being around "normal" women, I am significantly more appreciative and less critical of my body.
One of my female co-workers had a free ticket to a sauna where visitors can choose bathing suit or not. She wore a bathing suit. For her it was very new being among so many naked people. The ones who behaved normally were no problem for her. But there was also a category of men explisitely showing off their bodies in a prominent way. She was very uncomfortable with that. Her conclusion was that she didn't want to go there again, because of those show-off types.
Oh that's several steps outside my comfort zone! Apparently I failed to specify that this was gender segregated. There were a couple non - segregated saunas, but they provided loose shirts and shorts to wear there.
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I decided to go for a solo outdoor adventure today..often I go with my SO or friends but it was great to be on my own program
(and as luck would have it..I ran into someone who I recently met who joined me for a while, which was really lovely)
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I stepped out of my comfort zone yesterday by going to a Korean spa with a couple friends where the website specifically says it is not for modest people. No bathing suits allowed! I am pretty modest, and particularly in front of friends/people I know. I find it easier to be naked, I guess, in front of strangers! (In the right context, of course!, like my previous experience - a Japanese on-sen.)
It worked out well, and I had a great, inexpensive spa treatment in addition to a couple relaxing hours in the tubs and saunas. I think it's important for body image/positivity reasons. We should see a lot more of regular naked people than airbrushed super model (nearly) naked people and we might all feel less bad about ourselves and more thankful for the great jobs our bodies do for us all the time. After backpacking a rather tough trail last week and this experience being around "normal" women, I am significantly more appreciative and less critical of my body.
This is true for me too! Going to gym or onsen where women of all ages and sizes are comfortable to be naked and interacting together leaves me feeling so much more comfortable and centred in my own body. My own mother has a very negative body image (eg won’t wear a bathing suit) so to see older, saggier, larger women totally at peace with their bodies was so eye opening for me as a young adult.
Today I stepped out of my comfort zone by seeing a counsellor to talk about some things I’ve been having trouble with. I’m a private person, and I wasn’t looking forward to it at all, but it’s done.
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Yesterday I drove two hours in FIL's car. He was picking us up at my mother's house and I thought it would be uncomfortable for him to drive such a long route twice in short time.
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Just wrote the editor of a local magazine and pitched a story (for the first time!)
They wanted the story. Sending it in, now!
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Just wrote the editor of a local magazine and pitched a story (for the first time!)
They wanted the story. Sending it in, now!
Congrats!!!!
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Just wrote the editor of a local magazine and pitched a story (for the first time!)
They wanted the story. Sending it in, now!
Congrats!!!!
That's amazing! What's the story about?
I went to a concert all by myself last week. It was scary, but during the show itself it was totally fine. Just the break was awkward as I stood out quite a bit being a solo young woman attending a show that mostly attracts 50-something males.
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This thread helped me over the hurdle - I've just booked 2 nights in Germany, the Schwartzwald (Black Forest) region. It's gotta be gorgeous in fall. I was very hesitant, because I'm quite tight with my money and while I love travelling, I don't like to spend money on myself. Well, I worked frigging hard and I need a break and I'm going to enjoy it. Might even get a massage in one of the spas. Ha!
(Yes it's a bit anti-Mustachian but all work and no play makes Jack a freaking axe-murderer okay?)
Germany is one of my favourite destinations for short trips. It's close to home, it's easy to travel by train / flixbus if you don't have a car like me. COL is quite a bit lower than in NL in most places. Food is great, people are friendly and some beautiful nature.
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Just wrote the editor of a local magazine and pitched a story (for the first time!)
They wanted the story. Sending it in, now!
Congrats!!!!
That's amazing! What's the story about?
It was about another "out of my comfort zone" experience--the 10 day silent meditation retreat that I attended this fall! :)
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On Sunday, I attended my cousin's wedding in a t-shirt and jeans, which was not within my comfort zone, but even more outside of it? No make-up. Luggage was lost!
It turned out just fine and since I've FIREd I wear make-up a lot less anyway, so this was actually just an extension of events for which I was already not wearing make-up. But definitely pushed it really far. I had a tiny bit of lip gloss in my carry-on, but nothing else. Having suffered from some minor rosacea in the past, I'm always sensitive about my pink cheeks and now being a post-40 female (aka might as well be dead), I'm [trying not to be] more sensitive about the area under my eyes being darker and the disappointing appearance of age spots. But now I've done it and if I can go to a wedding without make-up, when do I really need to wear it at all??
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On Sunday, I attended my cousin's wedding in a t-shirt and jeans, which was not within my comfort zone, but even more outside of it? No make-up. Luggage was lost!
It turned out just fine and since I've FIREd I wear make-up a lot less anyway, so this was actually just an extension of events for which I was already not wearing make-up. But definitely pushed it really far. I had a tiny bit of lip gloss in my carry-on, but nothing else. Having suffered from some minor rosacea in the past, I'm always sensitive about my pink cheeks and now being a post-40 female (aka might as well be dead), I'm [trying not to be] more sensitive about the area under my eyes being darker and the disappointing appearance of age spots. But now I've done it and if I can go to a wedding without make-up, when do I really need to wear it at all??
That is tough, not wearing makeup when you are so used to it. That was badass!
I stopped using mascara and skin powder at least a decade ago and it is liberating. There is so much less time to spend in front if the mirror, less to worry about and less to bring on a trip. But of course, you look more plane than those with makeup. On the other hand, nowadays young girls use a LOT of makeup and many look like models, with fake brows, fake eyelashes, a thick layer of brown cream over there whole face. They look so fake that that would never be an option for me to do it like that.
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Was reminded of this thread when I agreed to go to a comedy show this week.
I rarely enjoy comedy (even find listening to it on the radio awkward)..and haven't been to a show in 15 years due to a concern that the people on stage won't be funny and then I'll feel awful for them.
Strange phobia, I know.. but I'm stretching myself :)
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Love the challenge!
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I walked to work today. Do that very regularly. But now after a lot of snow. I even brought snowshoes for the stretch through the forest. It felt like quite an expedition. And I did it only because I hate driving on the road when it is snowing so much. Other cars often get stuck and create so much chaos.
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Nice, @Linda_Norway - that's a serious commitment to walking to work!
For me, I've been trying to meet new people. Had lunch with an acquaintance earlier in the month, & had lunch with a MMM poster (just discovered we are near each other) yesterday. Also put a lunch on the calendar for someone I met at a leadership training last week.
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On Thursday or Friday we are going to meet new people at our cabin. We are going to visit an event and some people we know from an outdoor forum have asked to be there. They want to camp behind our cabin. The next one or two days we want to go camping in the snow with them. We will see how this works out. Nice to meet new people with the same hobby.
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Signed the contract and wrote the whopping check that will allow work to begin on replacing our heating system. The cost is staggering and I regret that we can't afford the $15K extra that would get us a geothermal system, but we need to do this. Our house and yard are a disaster and I need to get the ball rolling so we can start attacking other aspects of our lives; I've allowed anxiety over the expense to paralyze me over the last two months
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@Poundwise - I can relate. It sounds like you are on the right track. Positive steps building towards more momentum on other projects, and not letting perfect be the enemy of good.
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i had the plumber in to fix something.
and held my nose when i paid him
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@MaybeBabyMustache Thank you for the encouraging words! I am sometimes very brave and sometimes completely chicken$hit about the strangest things.
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I participated more than usual in a very high level meeting yesterday and today. I’m in an upper management position but have nearly crippling anxiety speaking in groups, especially unfamiliar ones. Last winter I was “supposed” to speak in front of a group of nearly 1,000 but I chickened our and had a coworker do it. I’ll have many opportunities in this next year to speak to groups of 200-300 likely, we’ll see if I can muster up the courage. I have been asked to many times in my career and haven’t yet. I was in speech therapy for about 6-7 years growing up and that most certainly doesn’t help the cause.
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@Poundwise - it's strange what stresses us out vs emboldens us, right? There are things I *should* be afraid of, and for whatever reason, dive right into. And then, there are things I know I need to do, and they stress/freak me out. Good work moving past & focusing on forward progress!
@use2betrix - great work! I too am not a fan of presenting in front of large groups. I've done it before. I've also engaged in extremely controversial topics where I'm the lone voice of dissent in big meetings. It can be really tough. Keep in mind that if you are being asked, many people think you are qualified and capable of talking & engaging audiences of that size. The way I've been successful in the past is to practice. I don't mean a handful of times. But, practicing until I can do it cold, in my sleep, three weeks later. Probably 50 run throughs of the content, to the point that i'm wavering on boredom instead of anxiety. Of course, that's not feasible all of the time, but once you get used to presenting in front of audience (I hear) it becomes easier.
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Signed the contract and wrote the whopping check that will allow work to begin on replacing our heating system. The cost is staggering and I regret that we can't afford the $15K extra that would get us a geothermal system, but we need to do this. Our house and yard are a disaster and I need to get the ball rolling so we can start attacking other aspects of our lives; I've allowed anxiety over the expense to paralyze me over the last two months
This is not a waste of money, but an investment in your home. When you will ever sell your home, it would have been worth less with an outdated heating system. Modernizing is a good investment. And you will probably save money each year on having a more effective system.
Maybe you should also look at modernizing your home in other ways, like the colours and a new front door. Maybe you could do some of those issues yourself, which would make the investment more profitable.
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I participated more than usual in a very high level meeting yesterday and today. I’m in an upper management position but have nearly crippling anxiety speaking in groups, especially unfamiliar ones. Last winter I was “supposed” to speak in front of a group of nearly 1,000 but I chickened our and had a coworker do it. I’ll have many opportunities in this next year to speak to groups of 200-300 likely, we’ll see if I can muster up the courage. I have been asked to many times in my career and haven’t yet. I was in speech therapy for about 6-7 years growing up and that most certainly doesn’t help the cause.
You are supposed to be able to speak to a large group if you are in upper management. Although I have only spoken in smaller groups (up to 65 or so) I have noticed that preparing really well gives confidence. Make sure you have your text written, maybe a powerpoint presentation with hints and the rest of your text in the presenter notes or on a piece of paper.
I have noticed that if I leave too much text to improvisation (having only hints in powerpoint and improvising the rest of the text), then I start telling stuff from the later slides too early. So even though I have the ability to improvise, it might get messy later in the presentation. Preparing in more detail and sticking to the script works better for me.
You should also consider doing a presentation course. And have someone help you to make really nice and powerful powerpoint slides, because most powerpoint presentations suck. (this could be a separate subject)
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In August, I got a barely-above minimum wage part-time job (starts after my full-time job each day) with the intent of stepping way outside my comfort zone. ...
You’d think it’s no big deal. But it’s a huge deal to me and I am so proud every night when I come home that I made the effort through another day.
Cezilous, I want to give you a round of applause. This is a great action step--new people, new setting AND money, it's a trifecta!
I work more than one job but they are closely related and use largely the same set of skills. I am thinking of getting another part-time position doing something totally different over the summer just to get me out of that headspace and into another one. One summer when I was much younger I got a job cutting grass--about as far from my regular job as it's possible to get, which is what I was looking for.
It was hilarious how bad I was at it, but I still remember the experience fondly because it really did feel like 'surviving' each day. Added bonus, it was like working in a sauna; by the end of the summer I was about fifteen pounds lighter and super clear skin.
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Booked a spontaneous vacation without clearing it at work first.
I am by nature a planner, like to have everything in my calendar scheduled to a certain level--but my SO surprised me with a very unique opportunity so we jumped on it (and even got the flights with points). I've been able to get it mostly all sorted at work relatively smoothly (and everyone understands and supports the plan) and I learned that sometimes you can just act & hope that it will work out.
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Accepted a 2nd interview for a job in a completely different industry than mine. I've been wanting to make a change for a while, but the reality of it being a possibility is suddenly terrifying to me! I'm not sure I'm ready for the change, but going to the interview will be good experience, even if the job doesn't end up being the right fit.
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Signed the contract and wrote the whopping check that will allow work to begin on replacing our heating system. The cost is staggering and I regret that we can't afford the $15K extra that would get us a geothermal system, but we need to do this. Our house and yard are a disaster and I need to get the ball rolling so we can start attacking other aspects of our lives; I've allowed anxiety over the expense to paralyze me over the last two months
This is not a waste of money, but an investment in your home. When you will ever sell your home, it would have been worth less with an outdated heating system. Modernizing is a good investment. And you will probably save money each year on having a more effective system.
Maybe you should also look at modernizing your home in other ways, like the colours and a new front door. Maybe you could do some of those issues yourself, which would make the investment more profitable.
Unfortunately we were forced to make this investment by a disaster (catastrophic failure of above-ground oil tank, was not foreseeable), but you are right, it will probably increase the value of our home to some extent. I also called to get some estimates on "fun" upgrades to our yard which will have to happen as a part of the cascade of events set in motion by the disaster. It's going to take most of our liquid savings but of course we are fortunate to have the cash on hand. It's also out of my comfort zone to have cosmetic-type work on the house done by professionals... we're DIY people but I'm recognizing that the work needs to be done soon and well.
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Interviewed for a Fire'd side gig. Been almost 4 years and I was always self employed but I found the process pretty simple and actually kinda more of a hassle so not sure what that means the work if I did it would feel like.
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I cannot emphasize enough how important it is for a person to go outside their comfort zone. Trying new things, going new places, gathering more information -- all of that helps a person grow & avoid stagnation. (Imo, stagnation is like death.)
I walked down an unfamiliar hiking trail, near my apartment. The path hugged a steep incline, and each step was made more treacherous by recent rainfall. About halfway down the path, I saw through the trees some kind of concrete edifice -- I started wondering if it lead to an abandoned facility (there's one not too far from here, so the expectation wasn't entirely out of line.) But the closer I got, catching my balance on trees and hopping over disintegrating grit, the clearer the picture: they were concrete columns, holding up three apartments! I've been on that end of the street, before, and had no idea that most of these apartments were hanging 90% off the hill.
I learned several new things, following that trail. The first is that the trail loops around, connecting to my street. It also branches off at one point, providing a short cut to my favorite grocery store! I also learned a bit about how to balance & move when the mud underneath you is very slippery.
Most of my ventures into 'try/do new things & leave the comfort zone' aren't nearly so exciting. But exploring my environment and seeking new information leads to interesting results often enough that I've become fond of the practice. I've found abandoned buildings half-swallowed by foliage, secret retreats, good friends, and have even learned a few skills.
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I cannot emphasize enough how important it is for a person to go outside their comfort zone. Trying new things, going new places, gathering more information -- all of that helps a person grow & avoid stagnation. (Imo, stagnation is like death.)
I walked down an unfamiliar hiking trail, near my apartment....
I learned several new things, following that trail. The first is that the trail loops around, connecting to my street. It also branches off at one point, providing a short cut to my favorite grocery store! I also learned a bit about how to balance & move when the mud underneath you is very slippery.
Most of my ventures into 'try/do new things & leave the comfort zone' aren't nearly so exciting. But exploring my environment and seeking new information leads to interesting results often enough that I've become fond of the practice. I've found abandoned buildings half-swallowed by foliage, secret retreats, good friends, and have even learned a few skills.
I live across from a large park. When I take my dogs for a walk in the park, we always stay on the maintained trails. Many times I have thought about how when I was a kid, I'd have taken my dog all over the place--into the wooded parts, into the creek, under the bridge, etc. We'd know where the best places to look for crawdads were, or where it was deep enough to swim. The last time I roamed off the beaten trails (at another very wooded park in my same city) I was afraid of serial killers the whole time, lol. Glad I had my childhood before I knew about them! Good for you, being brave!
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taking my son out all the time. we're at the park for 3 hours at a time. many families stay 20 minutes and pack up ..
and they say 'dont touch the mud! no in the mud!' maybe they're going to church afterward
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I'm a "don't touch the mud!" mom. Sadly, we don't have the margin in our lives to wash the sneakers a lot. My kids have three pairs of shoes: sneakers (for school), a good pair (for church), and a pair of boots. If they happen to be wearing the boots, then sure, the mud is fine.
Yesterday I went to the Indian superstore for the first time. Almost all of the items and brands were unfamiliar to me, but it was a lot of fun... felt like I was on a trip to another country! I bought several foods that looked interesting. We tried a couple of them and they were both well priced and pretty good!
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Today blindly I took a leaf of faith from what I could find out and walked into a LesMills CX Workout at our Y. Been looking to do more group stuff as I am getting sick of the Elliptical, treadmill etc.. but also cant do alot of jumping cuz my knees are trash. Anyhow it was humbling to say the least. Thought I was in shape ...ha! And fortunately my bigger fear was at least there were 3 other men in the class. I didnt want to be that guy! Now I gotta get the guts to try another one thats called Body Pump. I'm beat but was worth it and that was after an hour of MOI spin class. (Mounting climbing)
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found new mechanic closer to job.
so worth it
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Today blindly I took a leaf of faith from what I could find out and walked into a LesMills CX Workout at our Y. Been looking to do more group stuff as I am getting sick of the Elliptical, treadmill etc.. but also cant do alot of jumping cuz my knees are trash. Anyhow it was humbling to say the least. Thought I was in shape ...ha! And fortunately my bigger fear was at least there were 3 other men in the class. I didnt want to be that guy! Now I gotta get the guts to try another one thats called Body Pump. I'm beat but was worth it and that was after an hour of MOI spin class. (Mounting climbing)
You'll like Body Pump!
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On saturday I told 3 cute girls I liked that I loved the courdination of their pink and blue hair since pastels are in and contrasts between primary and secondary pigments are very aesthetic. They took it well. Also my friends pulled me to not run away from them for 5 minutes but i started making weird sounds so they stopped and I bolted.
Um yeah. That was a thing that happened.
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I take two buses to work in the morning and today I walked from home to the second bus (20 minute walk). I do this all the time when it's summer and I'm well rested but today the weather was quite bad and I still feel a bit meh from having had the flu a few weeks back.
I also sent out my highest side hustle invoice yet earlier this week and the customer paid almost instantly. I put in the work and they agreed on the price so the invoiced amount was fair, but it was still a bit scary to do. I learn a lot from being self employed. I'm out of my comfort zone basically all the time. I also meet tons of new people which I sometimes find difficult. It's a good challenge, the money is a bonus.
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Yesterday I removed the large pile of heavy snow on our parking place with the mega-big snow blower. It is a petrol driven device, owned with 2 other neighbours, with lots of buttons and sliders that need to be in correct position to start. I only use it very occasionally and always forget how it works. As I was home long before DH who usually removes the snow, I had to give it a try. I was able to start it, keep it running and was able to remove the snow. I did however not know that I should have moved the gas slider fully to the left. So I removed heavy snow on half power. Well, most of the job got done. Then I finished it by hand, which I am much more familiar with.
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I also sent out my highest side hustle invoice yet earlier this week and the customer paid almost instantly. I put in the work and they agreed on the price so the invoiced amount was fair, but it was still a bit scary to do. I learn a lot from being self employed. I'm out of my comfort zone basically all the time. I also meet tons of new people which I sometimes find difficult. It's a good challenge, the money is a bonus.
This is so true! I'm still scared every time I send out the invoices and often I postpone sending out the 'in between' invoices even when my consumers ask for them :p.
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A lot of customers don't like unknowns. They'll probably be more comfortable if you get into the habit of invoicing immediately (that evening) the work that has been completed.
If its not put off, youll not get a chance to worry about it
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A lot of customers don't like unknowns. They'll probably be more comfortable if you get into the habit of invoicing immediately (that evening) the work that has been completed.
If its not put off, youll not get a chance to worry about it
I know you are right. It's just something I have to get over with, I'm trying!
It's btw not like they don't know it's coming; we agree on the price before I do the work so they do know what charges they can expect.
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diving into phone calls i would rather not do
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A lot of customers don't like unknowns. They'll probably be more comfortable if you get into the habit of invoicing immediately (that evening) the work that has been completed.
If its not put off, youll not get a chance to worry about it
I know you are right. It's just something I have to get over with, I'm trying!
It's btw not like they don't know it's coming; we agree on the price before I do the work so they do know what charges they can expect.
I guess I was on the other side today. Last month, music teacher gave us an invoice for guitar lessons from the 2017-2018 year, surprising me unpleasantly. Today I finally had time to go over the records; the reason why I thought I'd paid up for the whole year is that he had to cancel so many times that winter due to snow and other reasons, and many of the lessons were never made up. I tried to be as generous as possible, discounting any lessons that were cancellations on our end, and giving him the benefit of the doubt as much as possible, but I still found I had been overcharged at least $420.
Unfortunately, he didn't like this news, although he said I should pay what I think is fair. I took $300 off my bill, but I can tell he thinks this was wrong.
Driving home, I think I know the root of the misunderstanding, but feel that if I bring it up again he'll just argue more. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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O wow, that's pretty damn late! Is that till the end of 2018 or schoolyear 2017/2018? And sounds like a pretty big overcharge, yuk. Glad he was 'ok' with you paying less, sounds like he's aware of the number of lessons canceled even though he doesn't want to admit.
My 'late' billing was more in the tune of.. a week? I had one client who wanted to wait until his supervisor had given him a pass (in the sense that he only had to pay me if the work was 'succesful'). I asked him to pay me half the money upon delivering the work and now he's gotten his feedback and even though he doesn't have a definite pass yet he told me he'd pay the rest now as I'd been waiting long enough and he agreed that my work had been good quality.
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I just stumbled upon this thread......glad I did. You have all written some ideas I should consider. I am recently retired, am very introverted, and live in a somewhat rural area. So I don't interact or see other people as much as I maybe should. Most of the time I am comfortable with that. But sometimes, I would like to challenge myself to do something a little 'outside my comfort zone'. Ask a casual acquaintance to meet for a coffee/ice cream/chat session. Make a dessert or casserole and deliver it to a neighbor who is ill. Join an exercise group/discussion group/book club. Even book an appointment for a massage or pedicure.
All of these things sound like something I would like to do on a casual or on-going basis, but they aren't really in my comfort zone.....so I hesitate. I don't feel deprived or neglected or ignored because I AM okay with the status quo....just kinda wondering out-loud here. Maybe I need to challenge myself and see if I'm okay with that also.
Thanks for listening and for suggestions.
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This is a great thread and I am going to challenge myself to try something new.
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I just stumbled upon this thread......glad I did. You have all written some ideas I should consider. I am recently retired, am very introverted, and live in a somewhat rural area. So I don't interact or see other people as much as I maybe should. Most of the time I am comfortable with that. But sometimes, I would like to challenge myself to do something a little 'outside my comfort zone'. Ask a casual acquaintance to meet for a coffee/ice cream/chat session. Make a dessert or casserole and deliver it to a neighbor who is ill. Join an exercise group/discussion group/book club. Even book an appointment for a massage or pedicure.
All of these things sound like something I would like to do on a casual or on-going basis, but they aren't really in my comfort zone.....so I hesitate. I don't feel deprived or neglected or ignored because I AM okay with the status quo....just kinda wondering out-loud here. Maybe I need to challenge myself and see if I'm okay with that also.
Thanks for listening and for suggestions.
In terms of getting the ball rolling socially, I find I can make things happen if I disassociate the scheduling from the planning. For example, I just invited a new acquaintance over to do crafts with me in a few weeks. I don't have all my ducks in a row, I haven't thought out what we will eat, whether I have the materials, etc. When I ask myself if I have the time or resources to do something, I never end up doing it.
But now that I've extended the invitation, I'm going to have to follow up! I know I'm going to grumble in the week before, but when it happens I'll be very happy.
O wow, that's pretty damn late! Is that till the end of 2018 or schoolyear 2017/2018? And sounds like a pretty big overcharge, yuk. Glad he was 'ok' with you paying less, sounds like he's aware of the number of lessons canceled even though he doesn't want to admit.
My 'late' billing was more in the tune of.. a week? I had one client who wanted to wait until his supervisor had given him a pass (in the sense that he only had to pay me if the work was 'succesful'). I asked him to pay me half the money upon delivering the work and now he's gotten his feedback and even though he doesn't have a definite pass yet he told me he'd pay the rest now as I'd been waiting long enough and he agreed that my work had been good quality.
@Hirondelle I'm so glad it worked out for you! You stood up for yourself and got the payment you deserved.
The charge I'm talking about was for the school year 2017/2018. He still has a different memory of our agreement (turns out he charged us for 12 forty-five minute lessons whereas they were supposed to be 12 half hour lessons, but he missed so many that we ended up doing 8 forty-five minute sessions instead. He insists that I agreed to a semester of forty-five minute lessons but I know I did no such thing.) Anyway, it feels good to get the truth out, even on random internet. He's a good teacher, even if flaky, so I'm giving him a pass for now.
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@momcpa I think I took a lot of words to say "be impulsive". Giving yourself license to be impulsive can be quite freeing for those of us who tend to overplan, like myself.
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Slept outside on my patio (by myself) last night.
I've camped in wilderness quite a bit, but this time I just rolled out a mat and sleeping bag straight onto the patio and slept under the stars. It was strangely exhilerating to not be in tent even though I was right near the house (we also live in an animal corridor so the idea that raccoons and bears could be walking underneath you while you sleep is enlivening)
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Slept outside on my patio (by myself) last night.
I've camped in wilderness quite a bit, but this time I just rolled out a mat and sleeping bag straight onto the patio and slept under the stars. It was strangely exhilerating to not be in tent even though I was right near the house (we also live in an animal corridor so the idea that raccoons and bears could be walking underneath you while you sleep is enlivening)
I have slept under the stars several times, preferably outside the musquito season. But we also often use the tent, mostly because of the musquitoes. We are lucky not to have so many bears in the country and the ones that exist are usually not dangerous. I have seen only one in 20 years, from a distance.
Intend to make a musquito netting for my hammock, which will increase the season that I can use it.
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Since last year, I am getting into eating edible plants. It is always a challenge to pick eat species for the first time.