(For his point of view, he feels I have higher standards, thus I should do the work for those higher standards. I think I'm not unreasonable and most people would agree with me on where the standards ought to be. For an example, when we met, he hadn't scrubbed his tub once in the 5 years since he had moved in.)
I never 'learned' how to clean growing up because my mother was a neat freak.. The vacuum would be run one to three times a day, dusting would happen almost every day, things always had to be cleaned up, etc..
Anytime that I would attempt to clean anything, it was never good enough and she would just end up re-cleaning it, so I always thought 'why bother' and just didn't clean, she'd get worked up and clean it anyways later.
Both the DW and I both aren't super 'neat' people, but we do start to see the house begin resembling a hoarders show, or start seeing my cat chase dust-bunnies around on the floor, then we dig in and do a little deep cleaning.
After clearing a spot and making it easier to walk around the place, two days later yay! it's more floor to dump things on. UGH.
I have this same problem, but it's not anyone's fault.. We clean something, and where is the easiest place to put something you're not sure where to go with it? IN THE CLEANED SPOT. The trick is to have an actual place for everything, and if stuff gets 'dumped' somewhere, go dump it on the person's bed... (doesn't work for the DW and I, if I pile up her clothes that I've washed and folded and stacked and put on her side of the bed, she just pushes them over on my side of The bed and goes to sleep if I'm not in there fast enough...)
I did the only sensible thing to get my house cleaned up - invited people over! They will be here in a few hours, and the house is already looking better than it has in 2 months :-)
^^ This... When we have guests coming, I get more cleaning done in two hours then I usually get done in two months!
I do like having friends over because it inspires me to clean. But at the same time I'm pretty comfortable having anyone over even if I didn't have time to clean. I NEVER apologize for my "messy" house. I tell myself, "At worst, I'm making someone else feel better about their house."
...
I get uncomfortable when people are too apologetic about their messy homes. I tell them flat out "just remember your messy home might make someone else feel better about their slightly less messy home. And if you apologize so much, I'll start to feel bad about my much messier home."
I have a friend who's apartment usually turns into quite a sty... when I end up visiting, I usually help him clean stuff.. It's hard to get motivation on your own, but when someone else is helping you, it can get done.. Nothing like picking up a plastic bag, and walking around picking up things and asking 'can I throw this away?' to get someone motivated to help out!
There was one time when I was over for a party, and he was trying to get his fiance to do the dishes, and I couldn't even use the faucet to fill up my water cup. I was also a bit buzzed at the time, but I just ended up hand-washing all of their dishes!