Author Topic: Target FIRE: 2017  (Read 309448 times)

Metta

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Re: Target FIRE: 2017
« Reply #1450 on: October 17, 2018, 12:06:28 PM »
I've seen other folks from the cohort checking in, so I figured I would too. I've been FIREd for about 9 months, and honestly have been struggling with the transition.

But finally, in the last few days, it feels like I'm turning a corner, and starting to settle into my FIREd life more comfortably. I'm not sure what made the difference, but I've done one hell of a lot of mental processing of lots of jobs spanning 3+ decades of work. I think it just takes time for your brain to sift through everything, especially things you did not allow yourself to deal with at the time because if you did, you'd have had to quit the job that was sustaining you financially.

The days can still be bumpy, but I'm feeling renewed interest in things I used to love when I was much younger. I sort of feel like I'm finally waking up.

Note -- I write this not to complain, but in case others are also struggling, so they know they're not alone. I wish I could say "X fixed everything" as guidance, but for me, it's a mystery. I think my subconscious just has its own agenda and requirements, and will take care of them in its own time.

I experienced the same thing.  My subconscious wanted to do a complete review of my life from the time I left home after High School.  Most of the reviews were based on jobs I held over the period of the last 30 years.  I just let it do it's own thing.  It happens mostly at 2:00 am.  It has been 12 months now and I think the review is mostly complete.  It certainly happens less and less.  Additionally it took about 3-4 months before the review started.  The first 3-4 months were serious decompression and I just let myself not do or care about anything during that period. 

I'm slowly coming around to doing the things I've either loved doing or wanted to do over the years (more cooking, canning, gardening, camping, woodworking and such). 

My approach was to let it be and let it happen naturally.  I felt things would be fine and I just needed some down time (like a year of down time!). 

I don't know how to discuss this with my DW.  She doesn't understand and I don't think I can help her understand.  She was a SAHM and hasn't worked even part time for the last 10 years when we became empty nesters. I don't think she'll ever understand the level of stress my job gave me or the temporary loss of soul I had from the sucking it did.

I feel pretty good now and I'm definitely more joyful and appreciative of what my life has been blessed with.  Enough of the looking back and review - I'm going to live in the moment and appreciate my awareness daily.

We discussed traveling with our travel trailer and I told her that I wanted to just pick up and go and any time without any planning.  Just hookup the trailer and get on the road and then decide where the hell we were going to go.  She came back a few days later and said she liked the idea.  So now I'm getting the trailer ready to travel and I'm going to keep it in that condition so we can pluck a wild hair when we want.  I'm getting pretty excited to do just that!

You're not alone. I don't think it's just you and I having this experience.

I think you're right. I actually love reading about everyone's happy post-FIRE adventures on this thread, but I also want people to know that if their post-FIRE lives aren't all sunlit beaches and happiness, that's normal too.

Who knew you could build up so much to process in 30+ years in the rat race? (Okay, possibly everybody but me.)

I was the same. It took me a while to work through things and I'm still not all there. The biggest emotional issue I've found is that I had done an excellent job suppressing my emotions and my personal voice while working. This allowed me to do good work as a project manager but now that I want to write fiction, I am having trouble contacting my emotional self. It's gotten better, but there is still more work to do.

I've been FIREd for 1 year and 9 months now. The first year was truly a lost year as I dealt with a lot of the backlog of my life that had been ignored while I overworked at my job. The last nine months have been better. My soul is unfolding and I'm getting glimpses of who I am and who I might be as I refold it in new shapes.

Some of this makes me feel quite detached from many people here. I knew that travel wasn't a primary concern for me when I left, but I still left in such a way that I could have access to free or nearly free travel as a retirement benefit from my company. I haven't used it. At the end of last year, I begged my husband for a year free of travel and he agreed. So I've been in one place and everything has slowed down. I can see the world now. I can experience who I am. I needed this year. That said, next year I'm going to a writing conference in Colorado and I'm looking forward to that.

My relationship with my husband hasn't been this good in twenty years. I guess that he was right when he said that any problems we've had over the years weren't each other but having enough time together.

A few weeks ago my dream job came up and a colleague called me to suggest that I apply. I looked at the job and realized that I no longer wanted it. Had it come up 3 years ago, I wouldn't be FIREd today. Taking that job now would just be an interruption, or worse, a regression in my internal origami project.

Unlike Stasher, my writing isn't making money yet. That's ok. I am where I want to be; doing what I want to be doing. I'm happy.

Metta

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Re: Target FIRE: 2017
« Reply #1451 on: October 17, 2018, 12:12:32 PM »
I almost forgot about money. I'm spending more than I anticipated but it's not so much that I couldn't spend this amount for the rest of my life. I'm not as interested in tracking money as perfectly, though we still make a monthly budget and review it each week. Money isn't the obsession it was before I FIREd.

RedmondStash

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Re: Target FIRE: 2017
« Reply #1452 on: December 11, 2018, 07:11:49 PM »
So, yeah. A year almost to the day after FIRE-ing, I went back to work very part-time for a very nice hourly rate. I missed the externally created structure, and I don't quite seem to be done working yet.

I'm probably only going to spend a few months back at work, but it does feel good to have some shape to my day again. If I like it enough, I might keep contracting now and then. But already I'm chafing a bit at the lack of freedom. Apparently there's no pleasing me. :)

Next time I retire, maybe it will stick. I'll be better prepared for it anyway.

SwordGuy

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Re: Target FIRE: 2017
« Reply #1453 on: December 11, 2018, 08:42:33 PM »
I was the same. It took me a while to work through things and I'm still not all there. The biggest emotional issue I've found is that I had done an excellent job suppressing my emotions and my personal voice while working. This allowed me to do good work as a project manager but now that I want to write fiction, I am having trouble contacting my emotional self. It's gotten better, but there is still more work to do.



Hemingway said that writing fiction was like sitting in front of a typewriter until blood came out of your forehead.


Maybe it's easy for some folks, but lordy it's hard (but pleasurable) work for me.

Technical writing is easy.   Good fiction writing is hard.

Cottonswab

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Re: Target FIRE: 2017
« Reply #1454 on: December 12, 2018, 07:13:20 AM »
If anyone else in FIRE Class 2017 is looking to form/join a fiction writing group, send me a PM. 

I am also transitioning to fiction writing, and I would appreciate a working / support group, composed of people with similar goals.