Thanks Mrs MM.
Kriegsspiel, I think that's what made such a difference in my attempts now, is that I really want to quit, whereas before it was pretty half-hearted. It seems pretty weird that tobacco use is high in the military, where you'd think folks would want to be healthier.
So, full disclosure, this weekend was a really rubbish one and I have to sadly I gave into the cravings. I couldn't handle the cravings which increased with the rubbishness. It was just more stress than I could manage at the moment. I ended up not sleeping at all Friday night, flying out early Saturday morning be with partner, sleeping horribly and being around a lot of smokers. Partner's mum had to be rushed into surgery in the middle of Friday night and it was a very lucky escape. She is now recovering pretty well.
I'm back home now since I have to work tomorrow (yet another reason to add to list of reasons for working toward FI). I'm still committed to quitting so the challenge begins anew tomorrow morning. All tobacco related products are ready to be chucked away, the gum is still around and since stress levels are reduced quite a bit hopefully I'll have the energy and willpower to stay the course.
I made it 13 days there without a cigarette, which, for an attempt made without much changing the situations I would find myself in normally, is a record. Hopefully I can count on the continued support from this awesome community, because honestly the thing that bothered me most about smoking this weekend was that I would have to come back and report it here. A lesson that was learnt/reinforced here is that despite what the cravings try to convince you, that first puff after several days not smoking does not provide the sense of relief that it used to, and that actually tobacco tastes pretty bad. Another thing that's really offputting is that with my nose working better than it used to, is that I can smell the smoke on myself. Bleurgh.
Anyway, here we go again.