1. Hi guys, I'm back from Europe and reporting in - I did not cave and engage in serious jewelry acquisition although I had allowed for that in my budget, instead I picked up a few pieces of costume jewelry for fun and for gifts, I spent way less than I expected and plowed that right back into my savings this morning.
I was thrilled to find several cool copies of Egyptian jewelry. I can't wait to work parts of these pieces into the Egyptian necklace that I have been working on for an entire year - I kept re-doing the design - ugh:) Both, the Louvre in Paris and the Egyptian Museum in Munich had the perfect "gold" pieces for my project - happiness reigns:).
2. So pleased to see how well everyone is doing - it is indeed a process that requires serious navel gazing and a little pain to shine a bright light into the darkest corners - those truths we prefer to ignore:)
So much of this gazingus pin passion is based on old realities or on current emotions we haven't given a voice to or simply cannot accept, yet.
3. Wenchsenior makes a good point, different phases in our lives trigger different behaviours.
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Conclusions: One of my personality traits that seems to lead to GP style purchases is ‘aspirational’ buying. In other words, buying for the person I aspire to be, rather than the person I actually am.
@wenchsenior Yup - there is an aspirational aspect to my own jewelry buying tendencies for sure. However, it isn't as simple as all that:), of course.
As your life changes - your perceptions and desires change as well. Although I conquered the jewelry gazingus pin, I am now considerably more aware of how I really spend my money and why - it is a different level of awareness. One that allows me to acknowledge my true spending patterns.
A new level of awareness that is kind to me and allows me to be good to myself, yet reigns in the impulse spending without yelling in my head or making me feel bad when things are not perfect.
Interesting, how we strive to hide our excesses and poor choices even from ourselves - in other words, we need to be truthful and on occasion ready to accept and face bitter realities.
One of my own conclusions is certainly that a) it is good to know - I am not alone in this. It made me feel better about myself and inspired me to hang in there when temptation was overwhelming.
I hated the idea of reigning in anything - the bitterness in my case came from the realization that I/we have X amount of money and it is not just prudent but imperative for our future to manage it well.
It is eye opening how much better our financial lives become once we become pragmatic instead of operating strictly on an emotional level.
I am not entirely sure that if I had more monies at my disposal that I would have even entertained the idea to stop spending money on jewelry - I might simply have upgraded and increased the monies spent on individual jewelry purchases.
At first, I ranted and raved - a lot - then came insights and acceptance and better decisions, bit by bit. It is like everything else if you really want it - you stick with it and you make it happen - one day at a time.
I simply lived in denial for a while - we all know how to justify the silliest purchases to ourselves and call them "our values" and tell ourselves that we deserve it all.
What we all deserve is a good life, but with that comes the need for discipline and responsibility and those two do not really jive with a mindless gazingus pin addiction.
I happen to like being in control - so once I discovered that this gazingus pin was out of control I was completely unhappy with myself and my actions. Continuous unchecked indulgences are simply not a good thing, even financially irresponsible me can see that. I was determined to be back in control.
b) in the end it is all about balance, truthfulness (no lying to ourselves) and the importance of being kind to ourselves. We do deserve to live well - I agree with the saying: Living well is the best revenge.
Living well means different things to different people, but the happiness lies in the possibility of execution - to find a way to live the good life as you perceive it.
c) Examining our reasons, actions and addictions is not punishment or castigation/deprivation - no, it is utter relief to see clearly where you are and why you did what you did in the past or might have carried into your current life without any sort of examination of whether you are still on the right track.
Now I smile when I look in the jewelry window - I can just enjoy the beauty and style and all the fun designs online. There will always be new and cool things - it never really ends, but I have different priorities now and I am redirecting my money - so perhaps ...
ugh - can that be true??? - saving money has become my new gazingus pin:)
In other words, buying for the person I aspire to be, rather than the person I actually am.
Well, I think on occasion this can be a positive as well - i.e. - I purchased some leather hot pants when I was nine months pregnant in the size I wanted to return to:)
Took me almost three months to get into them - for the younger crowd - these are super short-shorts:)
Or purchasing a business suit for the job I aspired to...sometimes such a purchase can help us visualize and support our aspirations.
On the other hand, letting go of the acroutements of past lives or persisting in living a lifestyle we can no longer afford is financial suicide.
Dang - so sorry - I did not mean to go on and on. Anyway, if I were to guess I'd say I'm still firmly in the quarter of "I've conquered my jewelry gazingus pin" and I am duly impressed with how everyone keeps expressing their thoughts and feelings so eloquently - I recognize myself in so many of you.
Wenchsenior - no reason for panic and anxiety - we are just here to work it all out for ourselves - one day - one purchase - one reason at a time and yes, we are being uncomfortably honest in some of our assessments.
I think we all gasp at the things others spend money on or are surprised how truly tight some people are with their money. Not to mention the odd reasoning or preferences we all have. I still can't get over the fact that anyone finds it hard to spend money, even worse, feels no joy over buying something beautiful - even for themselves. That's shocking to me.
Like everything else here on MMM you gain a lot of new insights and new tools for your own life. This is one of those threads you take a lot away from if you do the work.
Change itself can be difficult, but overcoming an overwhelming desire to buy something that you know damn well you can't afford or already have too much of is not an easy feat - that's why it is called a challenge.
I don't think there is one reason or one cause. Sometimes we cave thoughtlessly, that is much easier to overcome - you recognize an automatic buy response and find a way to stop it, eventually:)
I even think that some people in this challenge are way too hard on themselves (in my unqualified opinion) others can't stop looking for excuses, but everyone is making progress.
There will be no jewelry buying by me in October, because I know I can do this for 30 days (one can do anything for 30 days if you see it as temporary) - but I plan to buy nothing at all for the rest of the year either. I want to remind myself to stay mindful and stay away from any sort of mindless purchases.
I am happy to continue the challenge with no purchases until Dec 31, 2018. Instead, I plan to complete several of my jewelry projects.
On vacation, I bought four books, too much perfume and pretties for the house - so there - I should be good for at least six months:).
I even bought myself two pairs of pricey shoes/boots.
The boots and shoes were an extravagant purchase, but it felt so good to walk into the store and say I want those boots in the window, they are just my style. I hate buying "serviceable footwear", you know, the one shoe that supposedly goes with everything. I love my new classic style boot in Ferrari red with a bit of a heel. The shoes are a crazy new colorful style with a great walking sole.
Like Laura33 mentioned about her vacation tea purchase - I don't regret it at all. Boots like that are hard to find in my area and I am pleased with the quality too.
I have learned, that just because it is in the budget is no reason to buy - practicing abstinence on occasion is a very good thing and makes one feel so "holier than thou":)
Such foolishness - clearly, I'll never be un-emotional about money. Nevertheless, as long as I can manage to stick to my savings goal - it's currently looking better then I hoped for, yeah, despite vacation - I'll call it a success if I finish this challenge with three more months of no jewelry purchases.
@lifejoy - good going on the clothes. BTW, I read one of the books you recommended.
Good luck - hang in there everyone - we got this - only 103 more days to go!Yes, of course I read up on everyone too:)