I've been off for a little while and I'm happy to see so many familiar names still sticking with this.
Confession time - this past two months have been rather bad. October has been even worse and I've been avoiding logging on to this forum even because I don't want to face myself. I haven't even been weighing myself daily because I'm scared to look at the numbers. I know I've put on about 3-4 pounds. Its crazy how quickly it happened.
I was feeling off so I gave myself permission to just eat whatever. But then it lasted more than a day. Then two days. Before I knew it, several weeks later and I'm STILL overeating. The worst part is - I can feel myself spiraling out of control again. It's become eating simply for the sake of eating. Not feeling good today? Time to go out and spend $20 on a big pile of chicken wings. Still not satisfied? Well, pick up a bag of cheetos on the way back to the office. Oh, there's an ice cream cake in the freezer? Yum! That was how the last couple of weeks have been looking *sigh*. Scarily, it looks a whole lot like last year when I piled on pounds really quickly.
I still haven't managed to get a grip on myself (after planning to eat only 2-3 little chocolates last night, I ended up chowing down 6-7 chocs). Feel like I'm floundering here and still not sure I can find my footing.
BUT...I decided enough was enough and at the very least, I was going to come on here and be honest.
PLUS (and believe me, I am really fighting against this), I am going back to logging on MyFitnessPal. I can't believe I am doing this. But, while writing this post, I wanted to look up a couple of things and after some clicking around, I ended up logging. I'm half excited, half scared. I KNOW it works for me, but also scared that I won't be able to have the motivation to stick with it.
Anyway, so what if i'm scared? Here goes!
Starting calories: 1260 cals (to lose 0.5 lbs a week - the fun of only being 5 ft tall!)
Exercise calories (been able to stick with biking 50 mins round trip to work and a 30 min lunch walk): +402 cals (woot!)
Breakfast: usual plain yogurt and granola, 244 cals
Lunch: leftover chicken fried rice, 458 cals (guesstimate)
Dinner: tofu spaghetti and 0.75 cups of homemade beef ragu, 205 cals
Gala event: champagne, 125 cals & hors d'eourves, 630 cals available :) :)
Hmmm...today may not be so bad after all. I was REALLY worried as I do want to have fun tonight. And I'm shocked that I am earning that many cals via exercise. I honestly don't consider my cycling much of a workout - but even when I say bicycling, light effort for 50 mins, MFP gives me 300 cals. I found MFP pretty accurate when I used it for 6 months. So I'm going with it :)
I'll report back tomorrow with how today went. I'm ending this post a little excited....