Hey guys, I'm wondering how to you prepare or prefer to have your difficult conversations?
I hate, hate, hate talking on the phone so I think I add a lot of difficulty to some conversations just because I dread having them on the phone in the first place. I'm also someone who likes to process, so if it is something I have to bring up, I prefer writing it. I've always been that way. I definitly do play out conversations in my head first, or write down the main ideas I feel like I need to cover before going into a conversation. What do you do? Does it work for you?
I've been saving up all my difficult conversations for one weekend.
Traveling 20-ish hours over Thurs-Sun to see my grandma. This will involve:
- Probably the last conversations I will have with her in person (although I have thought that the last couple of times I have seen her, more serious this time though)
- Trying to convince her she shouldn't go home when she gets out of the hospital and go to a retirement home with people to take care of her instead of having to rely on her freeloading, sociopathic daughter, who is currently trying to lay the groundwork to make people believe she has dementia and trying to get control of her finances. She's 95 and mentally sharp as a whip.
- Confronting said, sociopathic aunt. She goes on the prowl we have at least one blow up every time I see her anyways - no matter how much I plan for and keep telling myself I am going to be a calm, collected, logical, rational adult. I still feel obligated to stand up against racist/bigoted/hate speech. She gets me, every time. Now that my grandma is in the hospital the game has changed.
- Dealing with various extended family members, several I have ideological and personality clashes with. I am hoping everyone plays nice, I doubt it. There has been lots of off-hand comments about what is "expected" from the estate. Which I think is damn insensitive and premature.
- Also, because I don't have enough on my plate I'm using this trip to adopt a dog from a family friend who can no longer take care of him. There is going to be some difficult conversations there and raw emotions, even though it is what is for the best, it will be still be difficult.
Wishing everyone ease and grace with their difficult convos :)