Hi All - looking for quick relaxation suggestions.
I'm doing well on my no/low drinking (nothing through mid april and a planned drink every couple of weeks since then) but had a moment yesterday where I thought "I have 20 minutes, maybe, to myself. How can I relax?", and my first thought was a drink.
Yoga is not an option for me, I have issues with hypermobile joints. In general, too much physical activity causes pain so let's stay away from the "take a quick run!" side of suggestions - thanks!
I do literally 5 minutes of vigorous exercise, it releases the exact same neurochemicals as giving in to an alcohol craving. Remember, the alcohol doesn't actually calm you, it's your own brain's response to giving in to a craving that does.
Otherwise I drink really nice tea, have a bit of dark chocolate, do some mindfulness meditation, or all of the above.
Once the cravings die out, so does the capacity for pouring a drink to relax you. So redirecting that response really helps.
Boo! Malcat - exactly what I didn't want to read :) But I actually just bought a rebounder so 5 minutes of bouncing could be okay.
and thanks @mspym , @lazycow, and @Peony ! I probably have to recalibrate to find those things relaxing but they are all excellent ideas.
Why would you not want to read that?
The simple fact is that alcohol in and of itself actually has virtually no positive effects. It's hard for drinkers to believe, but it's true. The great feeling that having a drink gives you is from your own brain.
Your brain wants the addictive substances, so it rewards you with feel good chemicals to try and create a repeating pattern of giving it the addictive chemical it wants.
The actual buzz of alcohol is a downer and feels awful. The high comes from your own brain.
It's like this: french kissing doesn't feel great. Anyone who has french kissed someone who they have no interest in knows that the action is inherently slimy and gross. However, if you are attracted to someone and desperately want more physical intimacy with them, then kissing them sets off neural responses because your brain is excited about getting physically more intimate with this person that it wants you to be even more intimate with.
Kissing someone you are attracted to feels amazing because your brain wants you to do more of it, and then more of more stuff. If your brain has no reason for you to kiss someone, it doesn't drop those chemicals and it feels awful.
It's the exact same with alcohol. It's awful, but your brain will dramatically overpower the awful feeling for the first few drinks to get you to keep drinking. But that's why most people who get heavily drunk start getting mean, aggressive, or morose. Once you're too drunk, your brain stops giving you the happy chemicals, and then quickly you just start feeling the awful, depressing effect of the booze alone.
The high of drinking is your brain bribing you for booze. You don't actually want the alcohol, you want the brain chemicals. Your brain wants the booze because it will want anything addictive, even if for you it's total shit. But you are the one who controls the behaviour, so your brain needs to bribe you to keep enable it's shit-consuming habit.
The fun comes from your brain, so find a way to trigger that fun with something better for your brain than booze.
Go french kiss someone you want to sleep with or better yet sleep with them, do some exercise/stretching, invest in a massage chair/seat, take a bath or shower, roll around on the ground with a puppy, take up painting, whatever, there are TONS of behavioural shortcuts to the exact same brain chemicals that your brain will drop for booze.
It's a bit of a seduction process, you need to figure out what tickles your brain, what it's willing to give you happy chemicals for. Spend some quality time getting to know your own brain's buttons and which ones work best for you.
This is not bad news, this is a powerful lever for you to use.
