Author Topic: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.  (Read 57641 times)

SomedayStache

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 924
  • Live Long and Prosper
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #50 on: November 16, 2017, 06:57:04 AM »
Ashamed to admit we have three kids 7,10,11 and no will in place at all.

Would it be okay to use something like legal zoom as a stopgap until we could afford a proper attorney? Our situation is not complex, not sure what the cost difference is. (Obviously this varies by law firm and market.)
Same situation.  Same question.

Our situation is simple, been married since our teen years, no messy family situations.  I've figured the default way things get distributed after death will work for us.

Do we need a trust?  I've been letting the perfect be the enemy of the good.  We've also always had a better use for the unknown thousands of dollars it seems will be necessary to do things perfectly.

Apples

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1372
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #51 on: November 16, 2017, 07:41:22 AM »
Somedaystache, what is the plan for the kids if you both die?  Is it just up to the state/your family to figure out?  That's always what I think of as the main point of a will.

And growing up in a large family business, talking about estate planning has been regular.  Healthcare directives and the like, nope nope nope, but more like "if I get run over by a piece of equipment tomorrow, I know my family and the business will survive me".  Because when taking on this size of business, if the owner/operator dies without life insurance and a plan for how things will proceed, well it's likely the business that has been in the family for generations will not survive, the spouse will be forced to sell assets that are difficult to sell in order to fund life, and the family may have to move.  So it's considered responsible to discuss these things and get a plan in place.  Unfortunately it usually takes professionals to get everything in a neat bow.

And then my mom's mom is in her 80's and has put together the photo displays for her and her husband's funerals so the kids don't have to do it, and so she approves of all photos that will be going up.  She has openly discussed with her kids what they each want funeral-wise.  So maybe my family is a little weird.

meerkat

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4214
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #52 on: November 16, 2017, 08:02:44 AM »
And then my mom's mom is in her 80's and has put together the photo displays for her and her husband's funerals so the kids don't have to do it, and so she approves of all photos that will be going up.  She has openly discussed with her kids what they each want funeral-wise.  So maybe my family is a little weird.

At my wedding my mom specifically had the photographer do headshots of my mom and my dad with the intent that those would be the pictures used at the funeral. They were both dressed up and my mom had her hair and make up professionally done and a professional photographer was on site already so it made sense to add that in to the list of pictures we wanted.

SisterX

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3035
  • Location: 2nd Star on the Right and Straight On 'Til Morning
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #53 on: November 16, 2017, 10:30:53 AM »
And then my mom's mom is in her 80's and has put together the photo displays for her and her husband's funerals so the kids don't have to do it, and so she approves of all photos that will be going up.  She has openly discussed with her kids what they each want funeral-wise.  So maybe my family is a little weird.

At my wedding my mom specifically had the photographer do headshots of my mom and my dad with the intent that those would be the pictures used at the funeral. They were both dressed up and my mom had her hair and make up professionally done and a professional photographer was on site already so it made sense to add that in to the list of pictures we wanted.

We used a picture of my dad from my wedding at his funeral when he unexpectedly died earlier this year. It was a great photo.

NoraLenderbee

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1254
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #54 on: November 16, 2017, 10:36:20 AM »
We saw a lawyer some years ago for unrelated paperwork and the subject of wills came up. The lawyer said that because my husband was not a US citizen, I couldn't simply leave everything to him if I went first. We needed some special trust, some tax issues, etc. We never pursued it (and thus have no wills).

Does anyone know if there are special considerations for non-US-citizen spouses? He is a legal permanent resident, but does not plan to apply for citizenship.

Paul der Krake

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5854
  • Age: 16
  • Location: UTC-10:00
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #55 on: November 16, 2017, 10:45:51 AM »
Married pushing mid-6 figures in net worth, no wills, no life insurance besides what I get for free at work (maybe 200k, don't remember exactly).

Rationale:
- we have plenty of taxable assets
- neither of us needs the other financially
- should I die while my wife is pregnant, she will receive close to 4k per month of Social Security death benefit until the child is an adult, which in combination with the other assets growing for 20 years, which will make her insta-FIRE.
- we have either joint accounts with rights of survivorship, or named as beneficiaries on retirement accounts. The intestate laws for the rest are fine.

Jessa

  • CMTO 2023 Attendees
  • Walrus Stache
  • *
  • Posts: 7496
  • Age: 43
  • Location: MA, USA
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #56 on: November 16, 2017, 10:47:25 AM »
I am still attempting to get a hold of someone to get additional life insurance through work. They apparently do not answer phone calls, I had to register my email, so I know they got it, still no response though...

Bicycle_B

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1809
  • Mustachian-ish in Live Music Capital of the World
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #57 on: November 16, 2017, 11:23:08 AM »
So impressed at how solution-oriented this thread is - great work moving forwards, everyone!

For those still will-less, a free starting point is to update the beneficiary of all financial accounts.  Where I have lived, in any case, naming the beneficiary is free.  Also, in the states where I have lived (I think all states, just not a lawyer here), financial accounts such as mutual funds and most bank accounts pass outside of any will.  They just go straight to the named beneficiary as soon as the account company recognizes the death certificate (which someone has to bring to them).  So updating beneficiaries is necessary in any case - just to make sure they've been named.  I believe you can name anyone you want as beneficiary; am guessing that includes foreign spouse.  The account-holding company might know what's ok.

Jessa

  • CMTO 2023 Attendees
  • Walrus Stache
  • *
  • Posts: 7496
  • Age: 43
  • Location: MA, USA
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #58 on: November 17, 2017, 02:11:44 PM »
Okay, I finally heard back from my employer's insurance company, they only provide whole life insurance. Any suggestions for good third party term life insurance companies?

Paul der Krake

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5854
  • Age: 16
  • Location: UTC-10:00
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #59 on: November 17, 2017, 02:52:22 PM »
term4sale.com, or any other quote aggregator. Term life is a highly commoditized product.

Pick any provider with a reasonable financial rating.

Rural

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5051
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #60 on: November 17, 2017, 06:54:15 PM »
Got almost all of this together the weekend after husband's cousin died suddenly one day at work (nothing like a shock of that sort to bring it all home, and things would have been so much easier if he'd had the paperwork). But I need to do healthcare directive, as does husband. But I don't know for sure what I'd want.

Poeirenta

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 345
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #61 on: November 18, 2017, 10:05:08 AM »
I just checked out the NOLO Planning Your Estate book from the library...again. Will have to try harder to push through the roadblocks and just get it done. Plus the one year subscription to Willmaker is almost over...

Sibley

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7428
  • Location: Northwest Indiana
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #62 on: November 22, 2017, 08:29:58 AM »
My current employer offers as legal benefits as an option. I signed up for this, intending to do a will, etc after I bought a house.

Almost done. Just need to get with the attorney to finalize the documentation - sign, etc. Just in time too, because I'm going to be giving notice at my job in December. Monday.
« Last Edit: November 22, 2017, 01:27:20 PM by Sibley »

Jessa

  • CMTO 2023 Attendees
  • Walrus Stache
  • *
  • Posts: 7496
  • Age: 43
  • Location: MA, USA
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #63 on: November 22, 2017, 09:05:43 AM »
I contacted an agency about term life, and laddering the policies. So far, so good. I submitted my application, we'll see how it goes.

Bicycle_B

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1809
  • Mustachian-ish in Live Music Capital of the World
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #64 on: November 22, 2017, 09:20:47 PM »
My current employer offers as legal benefits as an option. I signed up for this, intending to do a will, etc after I bought a house.

Almost done. Just need to get with the attorney to finalize the documentation - sign, etc. Just in time too, because I'm going to be giving notice at my job in December. Monday.

Congrats, Sibley.

ToTheMoon

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 858
  • Location: BC
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #65 on: November 22, 2017, 09:41:29 PM »
PTF, and to find again.

Bicycle_B

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1809
  • Mustachian-ish in Live Music Capital of the World
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #66 on: November 23, 2017, 08:50:33 PM »
Posted details in "Preparing for Senility?" thread.  Currently shopping for long term care insurance, though that's not a good deal for the average Mustache.

Thread:
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/preparing-for-senility/

Me:
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/preparing-for-senility/msg1764518/#msg1764518

Why LTCI (sorry about length):
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/preparing-for-senility/msg1767512/#msg1767512

Bought long term care insurance Monday... I think.

They have a many-pages-long application where you pay for a specific policy, then fill out numerous medical details... after which they evaluate you, and if you'll be profitable, they issue the policy; if not, they reject you.  How long does the acceptance/rejection take?  "Weeks", says the representative (sales agent). 

In any case, family relations at Thanksgiving were improved by passing relevant copies to Sis and her husband.  Yes, rollicking times in the Bicycle family!
« Last Edit: November 23, 2017, 08:54:10 PM by Bicycle_B »

meerkat

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4214
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #67 on: November 24, 2017, 05:42:53 PM »
In any case, family relations at Thanksgiving were improved by passing relevant copies to Sis and her husband.  Yes, rollicking times in the Bicycle family!

Glad to hear it!

soccerluvof4

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7161
  • Location: Artic Midwest
  • Retired at 50
    • My Journal
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #68 on: November 26, 2017, 04:03:55 AM »
53,49 fire'd 4 kids nothing in place. Following to get this all out of my head thinking about it and getting done early in 2018.

Poeirenta

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 345
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #69 on: November 26, 2017, 10:38:14 AM »
We've completed reading Chapters 1-5 in the NOLO Planning Your Estate book. We get to skip a lot of sections because no kids.

Chapter 4 was the asset inventory. We had done most of it the last time but then got stuck and went no further.

Now on to the crux: wills, living trusts, charitable trusts. Chapters 7-9 & 20.

TempusFugit

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 633
  • Location: In my own head, usually
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #70 on: November 26, 2017, 04:14:10 PM »
I used legalzoom for a basic will last year.   I'm single with no kids, so it's more for the hassle factor for my family that I'm bothering with a will at all.  I also did the health care advanced directive doohickey, which is actually more important (for me). 

The (stupid) problem I've got is that even though I have this will now, I haven't yet signed it.  Why?  Because, evidently, in my state, you have to get it witnessed and notarized.  Simple? Not so, when the witnesses can't be any relative or anyone who is a beneficiary in the will.  Banks won't witness anything anymore (hassle? liability?) so you have to find 2 people who aren't in your will and who have the time to take to go to the bank with you to witness your signature.   My good friends (who I would otherwise ask for this) are in my will, so they aren't eligible. 

I realize this is a stupid thing, but honestly, this simple roadblock has kept me from completing my will for almost 2 years now because I loathe to ask people for something like this. 

formerlydivorcedmom

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 701
  • Location: Texas
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #71 on: November 27, 2017, 01:13:19 PM »
TempusFugit, have you thought about asking random strangers waiting in line at the bank to witness for you?  My sister was asked to witness something for a random someone applying for relief post-Harvey and she did it.

Alternatively, is there a notary at your work?  All of my employers have had someone on site. Coworkers will likely be fine serving as a witness.

One of my neighbors is also a notary - do you have a neighborhood Facebook page where you could ask if someone is a notary?  Then you could ask another set of neighbors to witness. 

Sailor Sam

  • CMTO 2023 Attendees
  • Walrus Stache
  • *
  • Posts: 5731
  • Age: 43
  • Location: Steel Beach
  • Semper...something
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #72 on: November 27, 2017, 01:23:07 PM »
I made an appointment with JAG for the 27th. And I've filled out all the paperwork for Last Will & Testament, Living Will, and Springing POA for both general and heath care.

I check marked being a organ donor, but explicitly stated in capital letters than I REALLY DON'T WANT MY FACE PEELED OFF AND PUT ON SOMEONE ELSE. Skin for grafting is cool, but for gawdsakes don't peel my face off. kthxbye.

Progress!

Appointment was done. The JAG LT was impressed by my dedication to not having my face peeled off, but warned me to also notify my executor. So I sent a text to my wife to remind her, now and perpetuity, to never allow someone to peel my face off.

I have to go back on the 4th of Jan to have the will executed and filed.

Paul der Krake

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5854
  • Age: 16
  • Location: UTC-10:00
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #73 on: November 27, 2017, 09:06:00 PM »
For Washington residents:
https://www.washingtonlawhelp.org/issues/health/powers-of-attorney-health-care-directives

I found this through the NW Justice Project, a publicly funded legal help clinic staffed by students and professors at UW Law. Presumably they knew what they were doing when they wrote the forms.

meerkat

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4214
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #74 on: December 04, 2017, 07:27:16 AM »
Got the physical done this morning for my additional life insurance. The guy came out to my house and it took about a half hour. Blood and urine samples, height, weight, and he asked a bunch of health history questions. I know for my original life insurance policy the person came sometime in the afternoon so I had to fast all day, doing this first thing in the morning is much easier.

Still to do:
Additional life insurance for husband
Usernames/passwords list
Information write up about kiddo (what all doctors/therapists he sees)

Jessa

  • CMTO 2023 Attendees
  • Walrus Stache
  • *
  • Posts: 7496
  • Age: 43
  • Location: MA, USA
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #75 on: December 04, 2017, 09:17:22 AM »
Got the physical done this morning for my additional life insurance. The guy came out to my house and it took about a half hour. Blood and urine samples, height, weight, and he asked a bunch of health history questions. I know for my original life insurance policy the person came sometime in the afternoon so I had to fast all day, doing this first thing in the morning is much easier.

I had mine Friday night! I did not have to fast, I'm not sure if it just wasn't required or if they waived it because I'm pregnant. 10 year lookback is HARD. "Have you ever had xxx?" Yes. "When?" Um...at least five years ago, but probably not more than 10? "Who diagnosed you?" Um the doctor I saw when I was 19? Yikes. But the examiner was pretty sure I'd be fine, because I'm young and healthy and all my vitals were good. Go me!

meerkat

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4214
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #76 on: December 04, 2017, 09:26:32 AM »
Got the physical done this morning for my additional life insurance. The guy came out to my house and it took about a half hour. Blood and urine samples, height, weight, and he asked a bunch of health history questions. I know for my original life insurance policy the person came sometime in the afternoon so I had to fast all day, doing this first thing in the morning is much easier.

I had mine Friday night! I did not have to fast, I'm not sure if it just wasn't required or if they waived it because I'm pregnant. 10 year lookback is HARD. "Have you ever had xxx?" Yes. "When?" Um...at least five years ago, but probably not more than 10? "Who diagnosed you?" Um the doctor I saw when I was 19? Yikes. But the examiner was pretty sure I'd be fine, because I'm young and healthy and all my vitals were good. Go me!

I think so. I think I was asked if I was pregnant or diabetic or (third group I can't remember that would also have blood sugar issues).

Thankfully I haven't had a lot of interesting health stuff over the past decade (aside from IVF which they don't care about) but I definitely had to stop once or twice to do mental math.

thedigitalone

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 192
  • Location: PNW
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #77 on: December 04, 2017, 02:16:14 PM »
100% due to this thread we added the legal coverage benefit at my wife's work and are meeting with the estate planning lawyer on Wednesday to start getting all of these docs in place. 

Thanks for the motivation to get this long overdue task out of the way!

headwinds

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 228
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #78 on: December 04, 2017, 07:58:11 PM »
Great thread. I don't have any of these things at this time but I definitely need to do all of the above. Thanks for the inspiration and resources, will be checking back here once the wheels are set in motion. :)

sunflower_yellow

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 60
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #79 on: December 08, 2017, 08:13:08 AM »
This is one of my goals for this winter.

I couldn't imagine leaving my husband to figure this out. I'm our family's CFO... he would be lost. And I can't imagine having to figure this out after (heaven forbid) losing my husband.

I'm not even sure where to start - I need to read and re-read the excellent introductory post!

My goal for December: figure out what the heck I need to do and have a punchlist in place by New Year's. Hold me to it! :-)

rockeTree

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 252
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #80 on: December 08, 2017, 08:36:35 AM »
I used legalzoom for a basic will last year.   I'm single with no kids, so it's more for the hassle factor for my family that I'm bothering with a will at all.  I also did the health care advanced directive doohickey, which is actually more important (for me). 

The (stupid) problem I've got is that even though I have this will now, I haven't yet signed it.  Why?  Because, evidently, in my state, you have to get it witnessed and notarized.  Simple? Not so, when the witnesses can't be any relative or anyone who is a beneficiary in the will.  Banks won't witness anything anymore (hassle? liability?) so you have to find 2 people who aren't in your will and who have the time to take to go to the bank with you to witness your signature.   My good friends (who I would otherwise ask for this) are in my will, so they aren't eligible. 

I realize this is a stupid thing, but honestly, this simple roadblock has kept me from completing my will for almost 2 years now because I loathe to ask people for something like this.

Most UPS stores have a notary or two on staff and will take walk-ins (or at least tell you when a notary will be available if they're not there right at that minute). It's cheap.

Linea_Norway

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8569
  • Location: Norway
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #81 on: December 12, 2017, 03:55:34 AM »
Today I wrote a draft will that DH and and I can use for each other in case one of us dies. I used an example I found on the internet, written by a lawyer. The person living longest shall inherit everything. After that person dies, the inheritance will be divided equally between both families.  I added some comments about how the longest living person can donate the inheritance to charity, but not give the 2 families different percentages. Also a comment about what can be inherited by a new life partner. At least now we have something very concrete to discuss, with the correct conditions in it.

Next step 1: Discuss the draft will with my husband and agree on a final text together.
Next step 2: Inviting 2 witnesses to sign it together with us. The witnesses may not receive any inheritance. So friends may be the right choice.

Rosy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2742
  • Location: Florida
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #82 on: December 13, 2017, 03:08:34 PM »
As a CFP(r), I want to urge people to use a trusts and estates attorney rather than an online will service. T&E attorneys know the right questions to ask, and you don’t. Second, there are lots of small fiddly things about estate planning documents, and they vary considerably from state to state. This is NOT a place to cut corners.
As far as living wills or “five wishes” or POLST forms go, ask your MD. They probably have a form they are comfortable with. Fill it out, keep a copy with them, and make sure you have a copy in your bug-out bag.

Thank you - 2018 will be my target date to get this done. I actually bought the online service, but decided not to use it. I'd rather have a professional who is familiar with the laws of our state, even if it is expensive.

While Hurricane Irma was barreling our way I managed to pull all our important papers into one file for our bug-out bag. Now I need to make copies and create copies to keep online and at a different location.

OP - thank you for bringing this up - I did a few things in 2017 like updating beneficiaries on all our assets and setting up all bank accounts so Mr. R. or my son is automatically the beneficiary even without having a will.

1. The house is the only problem which is one big motivator to get all estate related things finalized - I'd hate to be without a roof over my head if Mr. R. should die before me.
2. I'm wondering, is there a way to leave my car to my son while I don't have a will yet?

jkitiara

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 131
  • Location: San Francisco
    • My journal: The Most Expensive City in the US and How I Got Here
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #83 on: December 13, 2017, 03:21:40 PM »
I always thought once I did this I would do a Revocable Living Trust rather than a Will. Any savvy mustachians have strong thoughts either way?

These things are high on my 2018 to do list, especially since I have an 18 month old now.
1. Term Life insurance--enough to pay for death stuff. I think it's sort of silly to do much more if you have a decent net worth.
2. Get my mom to do a Living Revocable Trust. My dad died 2 years ago and she has a ton of property and no will or anything.
3. Medical/Death wishes in writing for my DH and I

I just have to suck it up and do #2 over the holidays while visiting Mom.

Linea_Norway

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8569
  • Location: Norway
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #84 on: December 14, 2017, 10:43:49 AM »

1. The house is the only problem which is one big motivator to get all estate related things finalized - I'd hate to be without a roof over my head if Mr. R. should die before me.
2. I'm wondering, is there a way to leave my car to my son while I don't have a will yet?

About the car... Maybe you can transfer the car ownership to him now and get your son to sign a contract that you can use it and pay all the bills it generates?

sunflower_yellow

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 60
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #85 on: December 17, 2017, 09:42:00 AM »
This is one of my goals for this winter.

I couldn't imagine leaving my husband to figure this out. I'm our family's CFO... he would be lost. And I can't imagine having to figure this out after (heaven forbid) losing my husband.

I'm not even sure where to start - I need to read and re-read the excellent introductory post!

My goal for December: figure out what the heck I need to do and have a punchlist in place by New Year's. Hold me to it! :-)

Ugh. This is hard!

Not so much the "tough conversations" part, but figuring out what we actually need. I think this is my to do list:

Code: [Select]
Contacts
- Family
- Friends
- Employers
- Doctors
- Insurance (Health, Home, Car, Life)
Family Finances & How Stuff Works
- Important Documents (e.g. locations)
- Accounts
- Bill Pay
- Insurance (Health, Home, Car, Life)
Digital Assets
- Accounts
- Credentials
- Documents
- Photographs
- Family Tree
Will
- Executor
- Beneficiaries
- Guardians
- Assets & how they are to be dispersed
- Revocable Living Trust?
Advance Directive
Power of Attorney

Also, https://www.gyst.com is super, super helpful for figuring this stuff out.

lizi

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 538
  • Location: UK
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #86 on: December 17, 2017, 10:39:50 AM »
This is all on my to do list! Does anyone have a Canadian equivalent to the NOLO estate planning book? Or can that book be used outside a US context? That sounds like a good method of working through it systematically.

I'd like to add a point to the subject of organ donation. My sister used to work in this field (transplanting pancreas cells to help people with uncontrollable type 1 diabetes). It took about 8 hours to prepare the cells to transplant, and often at the end they would find the quality or quantity wasn't high enough. If the donor had specified that their organs were only to be used for transplant, they had to throw the cells out. If the donor had said transplant or research, the cells could be given to researchers to use. It was often heartbreaking for her team to spend so long preparing a transplant, only to have to discard it. So please, if you are donating your organs, please consider donating them for research as well as transplant. And make sure your family is aware of your wishes!

Sibley

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7428
  • Location: Northwest Indiana
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #87 on: December 17, 2017, 05:54:26 PM »
My current employer offers as legal benefits as an option. I signed up for this, intending to do a will, etc after I bought a house.

Almost done. Just need to get with the attorney to finalize the documentation - sign, etc. Just in time too, because I'm going to be giving notice at my job in December. Monday.

Congrats, Sibley.

Well, the attorney doesn't seem to want to wrap this up timely, despite my bugging him repeatedly. So, he can wait for me now. It won't be convenient for me to get to his office for several months (yes, months). We'll see how long it takes for him to get in touch with me. At which point, I will be happy to schedule a meeting, on my schedule.

N

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1401
  • Location: Chicago
  • You must change your life. -Rainer Maria Rilke
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #88 on: December 17, 2017, 11:58:36 PM »
Thanks for the motivation.
I definitely need to do this. The hardest part is the guardianship for our two kids.
But we dont have most of the things on this list. Its daunting, but I will get started.

Update: Checked all our financial accounts and made sure that our beneficiaries were correct.
Called potential Guardian for our minor children for initial discussion. Ongoing discussions needed.
(I resolved not to die in the next ten years, minimum)

Have started Bug Out Bags, but more attention and supplies needed to those
« Last Edit: December 18, 2017, 10:45:20 PM by N »

Villanelle

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6657
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #89 on: December 18, 2017, 12:04:47 AM »
I often see mentioned--usually as a reason not to go with an online service--that laws vary from state to state.  Does this mean that theoretically, we'd need to redo our wills every time we move interstate?

Also, if we are living overseas, which state's laws (or which state's lawyers) should be use?  We are technically legal residents of NV (registered to vote, licenses, and would pay state income taxes there if there was one in NV).  Realistically, it will be many years before we ever live there again, even once we are stateside, if we ever do, but we will maintain legal residency there (possible because husband is military). 

Linea_Norway

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8569
  • Location: Norway
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #90 on: December 18, 2017, 02:25:48 AM »
I often see mentioned--usually as a reason not to go with an online service--that laws vary from state to state.  Does this mean that theoretically, we'd need to redo our wills every time we move interstate?

Also, if we are living overseas, which state's laws (or which state's lawyers) should be use?  We are technically legal residents of NV (registered to vote, licenses, and would pay state income taxes there if there was one in NV).  Realistically, it will be many years before we ever live there again, even once we are stateside, if we ever do, but we will maintain legal residency there (possible because husband is military).

For me, Dutch citizen living in Norway, it is the country of the person who died whose laws are followed. Also for parents who want to donate a sum to their children while being alive, it is the Dutch laws that apply for the taxfree amount when receiving from our parents. In Norway it is specified that a certain instance in the vicinity of where the dead person officially lived, that takes care of the will.
So I think it is your state where you officially live, that counts. If you stay somewhere as a tourist, it is probably your home country that counts.

iris lily

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5672
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #91 on: December 26, 2017, 03:06:31 PM »
I just discovered this thread.

Last January we had an attorney specializing in wills and trusts complete both for us. Since then, we have been hacking away at getting all of our financial instruments set up. We are not good about this, and we do it in fits and starts.

We have our assets in far too many freakin’ accounts. One of them, a mere $11,000, cant be retitled  without 30 pages of paperwork because it is still in my maiden name. Ugh, this shit drives me crazy. I would just cash it the hell out but that will affect our taxable income for ACA purposes, so ?i will let it lie another couple of years until we go on the government dole, Medicare.

iris lily

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5672
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #92 on: December 26, 2017, 03:11:59 PM »
Also to add—what I would do differently knowing what I now know—

We divided our assets among  ten individuals and charitable organizations. Now,
I would not do that, I would just choose a few charitable orgs and be done with it.

One of the annoying things is that a brokerage firm wanted social security numbers for individuals named in our will. Hell, no. I do not want these people to know they are named in our will because it is likely I will remove them in the next iteration, in ten years. The brokerage co ended up accepting the birth date in lieu of Social security numbers for these individuals.
« Last Edit: December 28, 2017, 09:47:07 AM by iris lily »

newgirl

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 153
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #93 on: December 27, 2017, 07:40:46 PM »
Good one. This is actually doubly important for my partner and I because we're not legally married (and probably won't be anytime soon), but we do have a kid. So we need to be extra diligent about filing paperwork with the courts to establish legal and physical joint custody. It appears that per our state laws, he is considered the legal father (we did file the extra paperwork to do that at the hospital), but as the (single) mother I'm presumed to have sole physical custody unless we file a custody arrangement with the courts that says otherwise. We live together so in practical terms it's a moot point but if I died in a car crash tomorrow our child would have no custodian. Yikes.

Calling the attorney tomorrow!

FireLane

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1328
  • Age: 41
  • Location: NYC
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #94 on: December 28, 2017, 07:56:54 PM »
This is such a good idea for a thread. DS is a year old and Mrs. FL and I have no excuse for not having our wills made out yet. Neither of us is planning to die any time soon, but if anything did happen to us, we need to make sure he'll be taken care of.

We really need to make an appointment with a lawyer and sort this out. Hopefully, this thread title popping up in my unread-posts list whenever I log on will be the prodding I need to get it done in 2018.

Bracken_Joy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8927
  • Location: Oregon
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #95 on: December 29, 2017, 10:14:50 AM »
A very miscellaneous one- I put together a list of all my past addresses, with years. At some point I'll also put together a list of all foreign travel with years. These get asked for random things- credit reports and applications, background checks (which I have to have redone for work every 2 years), and so on.

Also put lists of phone numbers in Husband and my wallets. In this era of cellphones, neither of us know any numbers by heart anymore. I routinely struggle to remember his! I did the lists business card size, and "laminated" them with clear tape.

Rural

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5051
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #96 on: December 29, 2017, 06:57:42 PM »
Got a medallion signature to fix someone else's mistake that was affecting us. Name spelled wrong on a brokerage account, mispelling courtesy a long-ago employer. Should be fixed soon now.

Guava

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 219
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #97 on: December 29, 2017, 07:17:56 PM »
This is on my list for 2018. I really want to get my end of life plans sorted out because people always get weird about those things when the time comes. I am ineligible to donate any organs so I want my body donated to science...and even though everyone knows that, I want it written out so there is no turning around.  Aside from that, hubby doesn't have his name on the house at all so I need to make sure that gets taken care of ASAP.

Debating whether to get a small term life policy on him as well. I could manage financially without him but something to pay for his arrangements would be helpful (and I don't even know what type of arrangements he wants!)

Thanks for this thread...it should be a reminder for us to get on track.

Step37

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 465
  • Age: 50
  • Location: AB, Canada
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #98 on: December 30, 2017, 12:50:28 AM »
Great thread. Posting to find again and finish reading through. Took care of wills/POA a couple of years ago, but could work on emergency preparedness. Also need to have a discussion with my parents to see where their “shit” stands (I know it’s not in order and I’m hoping they’ll let me help). Will look at “the conversation” link for help with this.

Bracken_Joy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8927
  • Location: Oregon
Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
« Reply #99 on: January 03, 2018, 12:50:21 PM »
Posting this, partially to find later, partially to share with you all: https://www.fema.gov/media-library-data/1501683551530-cef254f971fed5df499b719d25325d07/Protect_Critical_Docs_and_Valuables_508.pdf

Fema's guidelines on safeguarding critical documents.