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FAQs/basic overview:
Will. This states who-gets-what when you die, names guardians, and specifies a trusted person to be in charge. A will (short for “last will and testament”) is a state-specific, legally binding document that says what happens to your money and property. Your will typically addresses the following issues:
Executor - ensures the instructions you left are followed appropriately.
Beneficiaries - lists who you want to receive your assets.
Guardians – designates care for your children or pets.
Investments/debt – lists how to distribute investments or pay for debts.
Living will. This is also called an advance healthcare directive. It states your end of life wishes for medical care that you do -- or don't -- want. This document goes by a few different names (advance healthcare directive, personal directive, advance directive, or advance decision), but no matter what you call it, it defines your wishes for end-of-life medical care. The living will frequently includes:
Whether or not to continue life support if you are legally brain dead, in an irreversible coma, or dying from terminal illness.
Medical procedures or treatments you do (or do not) want.
Pain management wishes.
Instructions for hospice care.
Power of attorney. This third document compliments the others in certain circumstances. Let’s imagine aren’t able to take care of things for yourself. POA designates one or more people who have the authority to make decisions for you. You can split up duties, such as having one person make medical decisions while another makes financial decisions. For example, you may want your nurse sister to make your medical decisions, and your accountant brother handling your financial ones. Here are example scenarios where a POA is vitally important:
You have had an accident and are unconscious.
You are suffering from a mental illness.
A parent is suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.
What’s the difference between a
living will and a
durable healthcare power of attorney? Both a living will and a durable healthcare power of attorney (POA) allow you to name someone you trust to make medical choices for you. A durable power of attorney for healthcare does not cover end-of life care. It names someone who can make all other health care decisions if you are unable to speak for yourself. This can happen during an illness or surgery.
For Washington state residents:
https://www.washingtonlawhelp.org/issues/health/powers-of-attorney-health-care-directivesYou may also want to make a letter of instruction, also known as a letter of intent (
Investopedia):
A good letter of instruction should contain the following information:
- A complete list of all assets, both liquid and illiquid
- The whereabouts of any and all tangible assets that are not readily accessible
- The names, passwords, PIN numbers and account numbers of all liquid assets, including bank, brokerage, retirement and investment accounts.
- The names and contact information of any bankers, brokers, attorneys or other professionals who handle your assets
- Informal information regarding the dispersion of assets, such as who would get a sentimental possession or heirloom (the will may state that these articles are to be distributed according to the letter)
- Preferred charities for donations, if they are expected instead of flowers
- Location of most recent copies of all financial and Social Security statements, tax returns, and legal documents (such as wills and trusts)
- List of all financial account beneficiaries and their contact information, if necessary
- The location of all titles and/or deeds for real estate property, rental property, oil and gas leases, etc.
- Your Social Security number and birth certificate
- Location (and keys to) all safe deposit boxes
- Any divorce and/or citizenship papers, or applications thereof
- Contact information of any debtors, such as mortgages, credit cards and car loans
- Contact information for any and all insurance coverage, especially life insurance.
- Care and placement of any pets
- Contact information for all retirement account or estate beneficiaries
Have The Conversation with your loved ones.
https://theconversationproject.org/starter-kits/Talking with your loved ones openly and honestly, before a medical crisis happens, gives everyone a shared understanding about what matters most to you at the end of life. You can use this Starter Kit whether you are getting ready to tell someone else what you want, or you want to help someone else get ready to share their wishes.
Here's an excellent post talking about things their heirs will need to know after the OP has passed away:
Our "Things You Need To Know" document for our heirs has the following topics in it (and of course they'll know where to find it):
Contacts: Business partners, people we routinely do business with: realtor, lawyer, accountants.
Things to do: Add a change of address so mail goes to their home, refresh it at the end of the next 2 years to get those once a year documents.
Where things likely are in the house: Documents, checkbooks, mortgage coupon payment book, gun safe key, keys to rental properties, etc.
Land: List of property and the URL for the registry of deeds to double-check the document is up to date. Associated payment schedules and bills for those properties.
Accounts Receivable: Any mortgage notes or loans that others owe us for.
Liabilities: Mortgage, property taxes, HELOC.
What do to with things they don't want: Suggestions for places to charitably donate the items to and local estate sale companies that do a good job.
Burial wishes: Keep it simple, keep it inexpensive, have a wake and invite our friends.
Family obligations on farmland ownership that's shared with my mom's side of the family: Advice on how to handle things and what we would recommend if other relatives want to sell.
Banks: Banks we do business with and why
Investment Accounts: Places that hold our stock/bond portfolios.
Insurance: Who we have insurance with.
Money and Investment Advice: Little snippets of wisdom that hopefully will help them avoid big mistakes. Plus an attempt to teach the right mindset. Things like if you want a luxury that will require an ongoing expense, set up an investment that will provide an income stream to pay for it.
Hope that helps!
Finding a
lawyer - call a few to get an idea of what they would charge to draft a will, living will, and power of attorney for your situation. If you're in the US,
avvo.com can be a good resource to find a few lawyers near you to call.
Free advanced directives worksheets by state, from the AARP.Alzheimer's Disease
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/legal-and-financial-planning-people-alzheimershttps://www.nia.nih.gov/health/advance-care-planning-healthcare-directiveshttps://www.cancer.org/treatment/finding-and-paying-for-treatment/understanding-financial-and-legal-matters/advance-directives/types-of-advance-health-care-directives.htmlhttps://www.cancer.org/treatment/finding-and-paying-for-treatment/understanding-financial-and-legal-matters/advance-directives/types-of-advance-health-care-directives.htmlFive wishes:
-My wish for the person I want to make care decisions for me when I can't
-My wish for the kind of medical treatment I want or don't want
-How comfortable I want to be
-How I want people to treat me
-What I want my loved ones to know
https://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-wishesSample:
https://agingwithdignity.org/docs/default-source/default-document-library/product-samples/fwsample.pdf?sfvrsn=2What are good things for me to do in advance in case of emergency but not actual death?Have copies of all your important documents (will, insurance information, photocopy of your passport, etc.) stored in a safe place other than your home. If your house burns down in the middle of the night you still want to have these things.
Have an In Case of Emergency (ICE) contact in your phone. (
Helpful Link)
If your phone has one of those little "emergency ID" lock screens, put your meds on there! Especially any heart meds, insulin, stuff like that is super important. If an accident happens, it's likely some care will be provided before the medical provider can get in touch with your medical decision maker/family.
Have a written list of accounts, get as many things on autopay as possible.
A quick word about emergency preparedness. Since you're going to all this trouble to have difficult conversations with your family members and drafting up documents, you don't want to lose it all in a house fire or flood. Plus there's a couple other things you can knock out at the same time that will make life a lot easier if an emergency happens later.
Have a BOB, or Bug Out Bag, ready to go. Your BOB should include a disaster supply kit, including a flashlight, batteries, cash, first aid supplies, medications, and copies of your critical information if you need to evacuate". The amount of cash should be based on the basic needs of your family, including food, gas, and other necessities. The critical information will be:
1. E-mail addresses and phone numbers for your household members and any family you may rely on in an emergency. Don't assume you'll have access to your phone's contact list.
2. Identification - driver's license, passport, birth certificate, social security card
3. Professional Licenses - the credential itself, and all training classes needed to certify for credential
4. Personal Property - title to car, deeds to home, boat, etc
5. Tax history
6. Will, Power of Attorney, Advanced Heath care Directive
More about Bug Out Bags.
For electronic copies of important documents, store them in a password-protected format on a removable flash or external hard drive in your fireproof and waterproof box or safe, or consider using a secure offsite storage service. Visit
www.us-cert.gov/ncas/tips/st04-019 to learn how to use electronic encryption to protect sensitive information.
Pre-Having Your Shit Together, you wake up in the night to the sound of your smoke alarms. The house is on fire! You roll out of bed naked, stumble about trying to put some clothes on and eventually manage to be 'decent'. You dash out into the living room, which is now filled with smoke, and you start searching for Whiskers the Cat, who you finally find under the sofa. He doesn't come when you call, and you can't quite reach him so you spend some time working on that. When you do manage to fish the ungrateful creature out from under there, you stand up with him to try to get out of the house - but it's too late - you are overcome by smoke and you die on the floor.
Post-Having Your Shit Together, you wake up in the night to the sound of your smoke alarms. The house is on fire! You roll out of bed naked, snatch your BOB and your wife's BOB out from under the bed, grab your laptop bag, and dash out of the door. Your wife, who grabbed Junior out of his crib in your bedroom is right behind you. She's naked too. (May as well get as much play out of that as I can...) The whole family rendezvous at the mailbox, where you all unzip your BOBs and pull on some clothes. Whoever is dressed first dials 911 on the cell phone. If the weather is warm, you can call before you get dressed. Health and Wealth protected.
AHH! This is too much! I'm overwhelmed! That's okay, this is a lot of stuff and it's important, emotionally-weighty stuff. Break it out into smaller chunks and do one thing a week, or one thing a month. Getting a little bit done is better than getting nothing done because you're overwhelmed.
Sources:
Ready.govFederal Emergency Management AgencyGet Your Shit TogetherInvestopediaavvo.comAARPListening To KatrinaFEMA's guide to safeguarding critical documentsConsumer Reports, "What To Do When A Loved One Dies"NOLO: How an Estate Is Settled If There's No Will: Intestate SuccessionIRS: Deceased Taxpayers Filing the Final Returns of a Deceased TaxpayerAARP When A Loved One Dies Checklist