Author Topic: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2  (Read 1046741 times)

Sibley

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6000 on: July 17, 2022, 11:49:21 AM »
I've been decluttering for a while now in anticipation of a move.  The movers come tomorrow, I have been packing all week, and I have taken out so much garbage and recycling already!  Where was it all hiding?

I can see a few places where I failed at one in - one out, but mostly it has been stuff that was "OK" but not worth moving.

I am OK with the duplicates where they are useful - i.e. cleaners in each bathroom so I am not carrying them from room to room, I can clean one bathroom when I am in it without going to the other for supplies.  But somehow I have a lot of laundry detergent - I have been working on using it up and not buying more for over a year, and I still have enough for another year at least.

My shopping habits were developed when I lived in a house in the country, and shopping was a pain.  Apartment living is different, obviously I have not fully adjusted.  40 years of habits are hard to change.    ;-)

We recently moved from a 1100sqft condo, with a two car garage to everything in our boat, dock box or car. We had been buying DH's cereal at Costco, so that takes up an entire cupboard on the boat...

Oooh, that is major downsizing.  I hope your DH really loves his cereal, because that is a major space sacrifice!

I stopped doing much shopping at Costco a while ago, in anticipation of the move.  Plus I have been eating out of the freezer and pantry as much as I could.  They are probably my least problematic area.  But the canning jars that used to be full and are now empty still need to get moved.

I love my plants, but they can't go in the moving van, they would get cooked.  Somehow I have to get plants and cat and her stuff and electronics that should not go in the van all in my car.  I have also been giving away plants like mad.  Anyone in Ottawa want a large (and I do mean large) Norfolk Island Pine?

Put the plants on fb marketplace/buy nothing/etc. Only keep the ones you absolutely can't part with.

Also, electronics absolutely can go on the truck, you just have to pack them right. How do you think they got to the store for you to buy? Get a box for the monitor/tv. I keep towers/laptops with me, because of the data. Tablets could go either way, depends what you have on them. Printers, scanners, dvds, etc just box up. Parents had an entire box that was labeled electronics, full of cords, phones, the power strips, mice, clocks, etc. That box was both easy and hard to unpack, but the fact that it was all together was easier. There was a bag of batteries, each put into a baggie and labeled where it came from that had to go in the car, the moving company didn't want it in the truck.

Cat stuff - gets split. What you need immediately for the cat goes in the car. The rest, put in a box labeled cat stuff so you can find it easily.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6001 on: July 17, 2022, 12:29:08 PM »
Put the plants on fb marketplace/buy nothing/etc. Only keep the ones you absolutely can't part with.

Also, electronics absolutely can go on the truck, you just have to pack them right. How do you think they got to the store for you to buy? Get a box for the monitor/tv. I keep towers/laptops with me, because of the data. Tablets could go either way, depends what you have on them. Printers, scanners, dvds, etc just box up. Parents had an entire box that was labeled electronics, full of cords, phones, the power strips, mice, clocks, etc. That box was both easy and hard to unpack, but the fact that it was all together was easier. There was a bag of batteries, each put into a baggie and labeled where it came from that had to go in the car, the moving company didn't want it in the truck.

Cat stuff - gets split. What you need immediately for the cat goes in the car. The rest, put in a box labeled cat stuff so you can find it easily.

Plants - anything I can part with is already gone.  Only the keepers are getting moved.  Things like the 2 pots of dwarf date palms that I started from seed.  I'm not going to find date palms at the local nursery.   ;-)

Electronics - basically my laptops (which would go with me anyway, not on the van), wireless phones and batteries - I have no idea how hot the truck will get, but I don't want anything with batteries in it.  Printer, chargers etc. will be packed.  For sure I am not wasting car space on cords and things.

And cat stuff - basically what will make her happy the first night - so kitty litter and tray (of course), some food and bowls (again of course), favourite pillow and toys.  Her cat tower and general stuff will go in the van.

The car also gets my stuff for the first night.  And food that needs refrigeration.


Seriously I have thought all this out in excruciating detail.  Anything that can go in the van will go in the van.  The car is for things that absolutely can't go in the van.  And part of the "can't go in the van" is that it is going to be a 6 hour or more drive on a hot day, so I am being careful about the van's interior temperature.  When I moved from last house to here, it was also summer, but at most an hour and a half drive, so not nearly as much worry about interior van temps.  There is some rain in the forecast, so it won't be as bad as it could be, but still too hot.

I am paying a small fortune for this move, I want that van stuffed full!!!


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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6002 on: July 17, 2022, 12:38:38 PM »
Made a final run through my 15 y.o's room with him. We figured out a closet solution, unpacked, washed, hung & organized all of his clothes from camp. Went through all of his clothes & tossed what doesn't fit. Found a stack of clothes for Buy Nothing (already listed), one item for eBay (listed) & two PE uniforms, that another mom is super excited to get & picking up shortly. Woohoo. Progress.

Sibley

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6003 on: July 17, 2022, 01:56:14 PM »
Put the plants on fb marketplace/buy nothing/etc. Only keep the ones you absolutely can't part with.

Also, electronics absolutely can go on the truck, you just have to pack them right. How do you think they got to the store for you to buy? Get a box for the monitor/tv. I keep towers/laptops with me, because of the data. Tablets could go either way, depends what you have on them. Printers, scanners, dvds, etc just box up. Parents had an entire box that was labeled electronics, full of cords, phones, the power strips, mice, clocks, etc. That box was both easy and hard to unpack, but the fact that it was all together was easier. There was a bag of batteries, each put into a baggie and labeled where it came from that had to go in the car, the moving company didn't want it in the truck.

Cat stuff - gets split. What you need immediately for the cat goes in the car. The rest, put in a box labeled cat stuff so you can find it easily.

Plants - anything I can part with is already gone.  Only the keepers are getting moved.  Things like the 2 pots of dwarf date palms that I started from seed.  I'm not going to find date palms at the local nursery.   ;-)

Electronics - basically my laptops (which would go with me anyway, not on the van), wireless phones and batteries - I have no idea how hot the truck will get, but I don't want anything with batteries in it.  Printer, chargers etc. will be packed.  For sure I am not wasting car space on cords and things.

And cat stuff - basically what will make her happy the first night - so kitty litter and tray (of course), some food and bowls (again of course), favourite pillow and toys.  Her cat tower and general stuff will go in the van.

The car also gets my stuff for the first night.  And food that needs refrigeration.


Seriously I have thought all this out in excruciating detail.  Anything that can go in the van will go in the van.  The car is for things that absolutely can't go in the van.  And part of the "can't go in the van" is that it is going to be a 6 hour or more drive on a hot day, so I am being careful about the van's interior temperature.  When I moved from last house to here, it was also summer, but at most an hour and a half drive, so not nearly as much worry about interior van temps.  There is some rain in the forecast, so it won't be as bad as it could be, but still too hot.

I am paying a small fortune for this move, I want that van stuffed full!!!

Can you remove the batteries from the phones? All of the ones I've seen you can, but that may not be case universally. Then only the batteries need to go in the car and they're a lot smaller. Car space is precious.

Why are you taking fridge food? Medications, yes. Snacks for the road, ok. The rest of it? Last in the car, first in the trash.

And yes, I believe you that it's planned out. A double check from someone else still helps.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6004 on: July 17, 2022, 06:18:57 PM »
Phones are wireless, batteries not accessible, don't take up much space.  I am not taking much food since I have to come back twice more, it will get eaten or thrown out the last day here.  But I don't want to have to grocery shop until Wednesday, it isn't fair to the cat to leave her alone in the new place when she will be disoriented and groggy (she gets her gabapentin both tomorrow morning and Tuesday morning).

So car is cat, essential cat stuff, the big plants that the moving crew can carry to the car, smaller plants as there is space, my laptops, my carry-on suitcase, some food for lunch on the road and 2 days worth of meals.  Oh and me.  ;-)

I won't bother taking the plants up tomorrow night, since the plant stand will be in the van. I'll get the crew to take them up.  My back has worked hard enough.

But yes, if anyone has last-minute tips that's fine, I have probably thought of them, I have moved so much recently,  but if I haven't it is good to have new ideas.

slackmax

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6005 on: July 18, 2022, 03:55:51 PM »
I'm on a one day decluttering high.  I sold 3000 sheets of cardstock (thick hard paper) on Facebook Marketplace. 

So easy. Just pack it up in bags and out it goes to happy new user.  About 3 cubic feet, and at least 10 pounds.    Got $30. 

Clutter out, cash in! Woohoo !   


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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6006 on: July 18, 2022, 05:19:37 PM »
I'm on a one day decluttering high.  I sold 3000 sheets of cardstock (thick hard paper) on Facebook Marketplace. 

So easy. Just pack it up in bags and out it goes to happy new user.  About 3 cubic feet, and at least 10 pounds.    Got $30. 

Clutter out, cash in! Woohoo !

That's great! I have also had success selling on FB Marketplace.

mspym

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6007 on: July 18, 2022, 05:36:15 PM »
Nice one Slackmax! Keep it going!

My tiny declutter was two more books that we are never going to read out to the street library (from whence they came). The other thing that has been really helping my general sense of order has been changing to cash-only grocery shopping by bike. It restricts the amount that I can buy at any one time so I've been buying things once they run out instead of in anticipation. The kitchen just feels *less stressful* - mostly because there's less clutter and less need to use things up before they go off.   

okisok

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6008 on: July 18, 2022, 06:49:41 PM »
Tiny declutter. Three books to the little free library, two brought home. One will be mailed to a friend after I finish it, the other will be returned to the little library.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6009 on: July 20, 2022, 08:19:30 AM »
Took 1 book, 3 pairs of shoes, 1 cardigan, 1 pair of jeans and 4 shirts to the donation bin in town. Also used up one bottle of hair product that's been taking up room in a drawer.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6010 on: July 20, 2022, 02:31:06 PM »
Some microdecluttering. Went through a box of old gift cards, called up the 800 numbers to see what, if any, money remains on them. Was able to recycle some cardboard and paper, and threw out one used up card.

I love that term, micro-decluttering!

It is so rewarding to have already decluttered an area a while ago, and then go back for smaller sized jobs.

I'm a teacher and not working this summer, but for family health reasons we aren't able to travel or vacation.  I spent a good bit of these first three "summer vacation" weeks doing major and minor decluttering.   Now I'm spent!  But enjoying some micro-decluttering.

Today's small task was to gather all old electronics and various charging bricks and cords.   I checked if they all still worked, and am now sorting out recycling/donating/safe disposal and storage of usable extras.

slackmax

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6011 on: July 21, 2022, 08:55:33 AM »
Some microdecluttering. Went through a box of old gift cards, called up the 800 numbers to see what, if any, money remains on them. Was able to recycle some cardboard and paper, and threw out one used up card.

I love that term, micro-decluttering!



Thanks, CrustyBadger !

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6012 on: July 21, 2022, 10:00:46 AM »
Loaded up a few shopping bags worth of old clothes from my daughter's closet. Kids clothes are such a constant source of clutter because they grow out of them so fast. will feel really good to get them out of the house and over to the donation bin

midweststache

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6013 on: July 21, 2022, 12:26:23 PM »
Loaded up a few shopping bags worth of old clothes from my daughter's closet. Kids clothes are such a constant source of clutter because they grow out of them so fast. will feel really good to get them out of the house and over to the donation bin

Truth. What helps is finding a family (could be cousins, could be neighbors, etc.) that has a kiddo or two that are a year or two younger than yours - they can 'shop' your closet once the kiddos outgrow things and then you can take what they don't take to the donation bin. This puts a time frame on getting the outgrown clothes out the door, as you don't want to miss the window for passing those things along. (My youngest is exactly a year older than his cousin, so as soon as he outgrows something I FT my sister to see if she wants it. If not, it's posted on my local Buy Nothing group and, if I don't have a taker in a week, tossed in a bag for the donation bin.)

Tyson

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6014 on: July 21, 2022, 02:12:41 PM »
One rule that helped me when I was decluttering and felt overwhelmed:

"Remember, it doesn't have to be perfect.  It just has to be better."

MaybeBabyMustache

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6015 on: July 22, 2022, 01:36:22 PM »
Loaded up a few shopping bags worth of old clothes from my daughter's closet. Kids clothes are such a constant source of clutter because they grow out of them so fast. will feel really good to get them out of the house and over to the donation bin

Truth. What helps is finding a family (could be cousins, could be neighbors, etc.) that has a kiddo or two that are a year or two younger than yours - they can 'shop' your closet once the kiddos outgrow things and then you can take what they don't take to the donation bin. This puts a time frame on getting the outgrown clothes out the door, as you don't want to miss the window for passing those things along. (My youngest is exactly a year older than his cousin, so as soon as he outgrows something I FT my sister to see if she wants it. If not, it's posted on my local Buy Nothing group and, if I don't have a taker in a week, tossed in a bag for the donation bin.)

My kids are teens, so they are mostly slowed down on the growth curve, although they each grew 4 inches last year, so ... still needing upsizing.

My approach is similar. I list everything on Buy Nothing. Whatever isn't taken in a week goes to the donation pile. My sister often gives us hand me downs from my 2 nephews, so that works as well.

slackmax

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6016 on: July 25, 2022, 07:36:02 AM »
I found an old computer programming instructional binder I was able to part with and removed all the pages and put them out on the curb in the recycling bin. Since that was painless, went back into the stack and found another one and put it out too. Will donate the two empty binders next. Goodwill sells them for $1 each.

Frugal Lizard

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6017 on: July 25, 2022, 01:08:03 PM »
Was looking for stuff and discovered some ancient catalogues and other miscellaneous papers, now I have four inches of file space and a full recycling bin.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6018 on: July 25, 2022, 01:24:20 PM »
Our guest cabin on the boat has an extra piece of wood and a cushion that make the bed huge, but the floor just big enough to swing the door. We finally through it out, since we hardly have any guests and most choose the floor space over the extra bed space. It is only about 3 x 2, but not storing it makes such a big difference!

okisok

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6019 on: July 25, 2022, 07:47:40 PM »
Finally got a trunkful of donations to the charity shop. It feels so good to have an empty trunk!! Clothes, shoes, home goods, stuff I had forgotten because it was in the bottom of the box for so long.

I gave two books to a visiting friend. Returned a borrowed book to another friend. Returned library books of DP's to him. All the books in my home are ones that I want to keep.

Got all the clutter in my home put away. An out-of-town friend was able to visit my house with a few hours' notice. I got my bike out of living room, put away the laundry, got all the appliances off the counter, put kids toys away, everything I'd been putting off for weeks got done in less than three hours. It really helps to look at the space with another's eyes and I saw a LOT of stuff out of place.

ixtap

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6020 on: July 25, 2022, 08:59:57 PM »
Finally got a trunkful of donations to the charity shop. It feels so good to have an empty trunk!! Clothes, shoes, home goods, stuff I had forgotten because it was in the bottom of the box for so long.

I gave two books to a visiting friend. Returned a borrowed book to another friend. Returned library books of DP's to him. All the books in my home are ones that I want to keep.

Got all the clutter in my home put away. An out-of-town friend was able to visit my house with a few hours' notice. I got my bike out of living room, put away the laundry, got all the appliances off the counter, put kids toys away, everything I'd been putting off for weeks got done in less than three hours. It really helps to look at the space with another's eyes and I saw a LOT of stuff out of place.

Wait, where does the bike go if not the living room?? We actually added hardware to secure our bikes at one end of the main seating area.

We may be decluttering, but our boat holds two folding mountain bikes, one tandem kayak (hobie mirage drive, so it has lots of extra gear, one stand up paddle board, and a small raft. Oh, and two hula hoops :)

And people try to tell us our boat isn't big enough!

okisok

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6021 on: July 26, 2022, 04:18:16 PM »

Got all the clutter in my home put away. An out-of-town friend was able to visit my house with a few hours' notice. I got my bike out of living room, put away the laundry, got all the appliances off the counter, put kids toys away, everything I'd been putting off for weeks got done in less than three hours. It really helps to look at the space with another's eyes and I saw a LOT of stuff out of place.

Wait, where does the bike go if not the living room?? We actually added hardware to secure our bikes at one end of the main seating area.

We may be decluttering, but our boat holds two folding mountain bikes, one tandem kayak (hobie mirage drive, so it has lots of extra gear, one stand up paddle board, and a small raft. Oh, and two hula hoops :)

And people try to tell us our boat isn't big enough!

Well, since I have a garage I thought it best stored out there :) Speaking of garage, that's the next declutter project. As soon as it's not over 100 degrees

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6022 on: July 26, 2022, 05:25:17 PM »
I have been going room by room and trying to de clutter.  We have had some extended family items also emerge in our home.  We are trying to go through all of those and decide what we want to keep, what to trash, and what can be donated.

We are trying to get much less clutter in our home.  Trying to live a “simpler” life.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6023 on: July 26, 2022, 08:19:28 PM »
I have been going room by room and trying to de clutter.  We have had some extended family items also emerge in our home.  We are trying to go through all of those and decide what we want to keep, what to trash, and what can be donated.

We are trying to get much less clutter in our home.  Trying to live a “simpler” life.

Good luck! I have come to realize that “everything in its place” gives me a measure of peace that likely is unreasonable, but I don’t care. A less cluttered home for me is the goal. And the only way to get there is to be ruthless about junk.

okisok

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6024 on: July 27, 2022, 09:19:31 PM »
Today I finished a sewing project I started back in April. As soon as I finished it, I realized I didn't like it and it wasn't going to serve its intended purpose. Straight into the donation bag. The pattern went right into recycling. It was a fail, but it did get me in the mood for other sewing so I'm working through my fabric stash and my sewing area is a glorious mess.

slackmax

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6025 on: July 29, 2022, 08:24:45 AM »
I used up the last $3.24 on my Walmart card that I had found during a painstaking  recent microdecluttering. And therefore was able to throw it out! One less card stretching out my wallet.

Also, listed a big old cannister vacuum cleaner online, to sell it.  No offers yet. After a while of no offers, I will be emotionally able to just donate the old bulky thing, and free up some more space in the house.   

happy

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6026 on: July 29, 2022, 09:19:07 PM »
4m scrap metal skip bin here for the week. This weekend's job is fill it up with all the metal crap lying around the place.

Sibley

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6027 on: July 30, 2022, 09:09:32 AM »
4m scrap metal skip bin here for the week. This weekend's job is fill it up with all the metal crap lying around the place.

How do you have enough scrap metal to fill a 4m bin? That's a LOT.

happy

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6028 on: July 30, 2022, 05:21:12 PM »
Its a combination of a heap of old pool fencing that we had to replace, misc metal items from  renovations/repairs that we have been stockpiling, plus other bits and pieces the previous owner left stashed here and there.

Sibley

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6029 on: July 31, 2022, 11:20:18 AM »
Its a combination of a heap of old pool fencing that we had to replace, misc metal items from  renovations/repairs that we have been stockpiling, plus other bits and pieces the previous owner left stashed here and there.

Wow. Well, you'll get it all cleared out.

happy

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6030 on: July 31, 2022, 02:58:03 PM »
Its a combination of a heap of old pool fencing that we had to replace, misc metal items from  renovations/repairs that we have been stockpiling, plus other bits and pieces the previous owner left stashed here and there.

Wow. Well, you'll get it all cleared out.

Yes, the pile of stuff is in the skip! I'll do a scout around this week and pick up anything else lying around. I found 2 more sheets of old corrugated iron to put in yesterday.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6031 on: July 31, 2022, 03:49:28 PM »
I'd been putting off delivering our full donation box, since we moved further away from the Salvation Army we used to use.  Just realized yesterday there is a Green Drop location much closer to us, so we finally dropped it off!  That gives me a good bit more space in the closet.  Next up, mailing a box of books for donation to Open Library.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6032 on: August 01, 2022, 11:11:38 AM »
old black and white laserjet printer has been sitting around in my office.

Sold it to my brother-in-law for about 40% of what it would cost new. He gets a great deal on a perfectly functioning printer. I get it out of my house plus a little bit of cash. Win-win.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6033 on: August 02, 2022, 03:19:14 AM »
I haven't read through this whole thread but any tips on dealing with a spouse who refuses to get rid of anything?  And gets upset even when you get rid of things which aren't "his"?  I mainly get rid of stuff when he's not around.  But he gets upset if he realises that I'm trying to get rid of stuff so I'm always careful not to do it too conspicuously.  Lately, I've had my eye on some old broken suitcases, broken IKEA furniture and duplicate/never used kitchen items.  But his idea of "frugal" is never getting rid of anything.  How do you negotiate with a spouse like this? 

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6034 on: August 02, 2022, 04:17:18 AM »
I haven't read through this whole thread but any tips on dealing with a spouse who refuses to get rid of anything?  And gets upset even when you get rid of things which aren't "his"?  I mainly get rid of stuff when he's not around.  But he gets upset if he realises that I'm trying to get rid of stuff so I'm always careful not to do it too conspicuously.  Lately, I've had my eye on some old broken suitcases, broken IKEA furniture and duplicate/never used kitchen items.  But his idea of "frugal" is never getting rid of anything.  How do you negotiate with a spouse like this?

When you figure it out, let me know.  It never fails that when I do convince him to get rid of something, he'll need it 2 weeks later. 

PMG

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6035 on: August 02, 2022, 05:50:27 AM »
I’m no expert but I think the person keeping things has to confront the reasoning and emotions behind the keeping. What’s the underlying cause.  Keeping things is often a symptom of something else.  Until they want to do that work, then the stuff will keep accumulating. 

slackmax

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6036 on: August 02, 2022, 06:58:17 AM »
old black and white laserjet printer has been sitting around in my office.

Sold it to my brother-in-law for about 40% of what it would cost new. He gets a great deal on a perfectly functioning printer. I get it out of my house plus a little bit of cash. Win-win.

Big win for you, MoneyTree!

slackmax

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6037 on: August 02, 2022, 07:07:53 AM »
I haven't read through this whole thread but any tips on dealing with a spouse who refuses to get rid of anything?  And gets upset even when you get rid of things which aren't "his"?  I mainly get rid of stuff when he's not around.  But he gets upset if he realises that I'm trying to get rid of stuff so I'm always careful not to do it too conspicuously.  Lately, I've had my eye on some old broken suitcases, broken IKEA furniture and duplicate/never used kitchen items.  But his idea of "frugal" is never getting rid of anything.  How do you negotiate with a spouse like this?

I assume he is not an actual hoarder, which of course is different from just being frugal.  I guess you have to sneak the broken things out, like the broken suitcases. But then you have to admit what you've done if he notices.

I had a hoarder girl friend who lived with me, and I had no compunctions about recycling some of her useless clutter without telling her. It was the same sort of stuff (old pamphlets, magazines, etc. that she always promised to get rid of, but never did) so I didn't feel guilty about it.

Of cxourse it's different, and much better, if he is not an actual hoarder.   

Sibley

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6038 on: August 02, 2022, 07:21:34 AM »
I haven't read through this whole thread but any tips on dealing with a spouse who refuses to get rid of anything?  And gets upset even when you get rid of things which aren't "his"?  I mainly get rid of stuff when he's not around.  But he gets upset if he realises that I'm trying to get rid of stuff so I'm always careful not to do it too conspicuously.  Lately, I've had my eye on some old broken suitcases, broken IKEA furniture and duplicate/never used kitchen items.  But his idea of "frugal" is never getting rid of anything.  How do you negotiate with a spouse like this?

So, your spouse would rather that you live in an overcrowded home full of broken items? And polices even items which aren't his?

This is hoarding. Get the professionals involved, because otherwise this could seriously damage your relationship over time. And if he's unwilling to change, you need to seriously consider if you can be happy long term with someone who is unwilling to compromise with you on something that is important to you.

tygertygertyger

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6039 on: August 02, 2022, 09:24:08 AM »
My partner is always suspicious about me getting rid of stuff. I assure him that I won't touch his stuff, which he's slowly come around to relaxing about now.

The only thing that's been successful for me is bringing out the 10 duplicates we have of an item, and saying, hey, any of these you think we can get rid of? Seeing all the items together usually helps, and we're able to get rid of some.

But yeah, good luck! It's tough.

keepingfocus

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6040 on: August 04, 2022, 06:29:41 AM »
I have a partner who likes to keep EVERYTHING (I call this side of him Justin as in 'just in case') and is very resistant to change. He does have valid things-that-happened-in-the-past reasons for some of this, but even so, it's maddening.

I have been slowly decluttering our home of 20+ years for several years now, and he's always been OK with me doing it so long as 'his' stuff isn't being touched (though he's sometimes been quite critical). He remembers the cost of everything, sees throwing away anything even remotely potentially useful as a waste, and has really strong emotional attachments to things.

My approach has been to try to coax him along by leading by example, but I'm also very vocal about my decision-making process, how much I feel the difference in my mental health with an uncluttered environment, and how much I feel it 'costs' me to have so much space in my head taken up by navigating excess things.

There have been a few conversations about what we would want/need to take with us if we ever wanted to relocate overseas (not that this is actually likely to happen) or downsize (which I think may have sparked his imagination a little even though that would likely be at least 10 years away, unless our hand was forced by something drastic).

For a long, long time I felt like I was shouting into the void. It's also been abundantly clear to me that forcing the issue would never work with him and I would have to sit it out and wait for him to want to make changes himself (it has to be his idea, not mine!), and then go at his own pace (often weeks/months between voicing the intent to clear a space and actually starting to do it).

Over the last year he's been starting to let go of more without prompting. tygertygertyger's post about putting all of the duplicates in one place has definitely been a useful tactic (recently we've disposed of several bin bags full of old leads, power supplies, dead computer parts etc.), and now that we're preparing to have the house rewired, the practical benefits of having less stuff are starting to show themselves a lot more. There has been an almost seismic shift in activity (with him proactively sending me descriptions of things that he wants us to put on eBay so that all I have to do is snap a photo, copy the text and list them).

Good luck - it is really difficult.




MoneyTree

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6041 on: August 04, 2022, 11:51:54 AM »
I've been surrounded by pack rats my entire life. I grew up in a family of pack rats / hoarders, and seeing the negative impacts of it has likely shaped me to be the exact opposite.

My grandparents and aunts houses were literally piles and bags of stuff with small paths carved through the mess so people could get from room to room. Some rooms were so full of bags of stuff that they were unusable and never opened. I literally did not know that certain rooms existed in my grandmothers house, and I lived there for 4 years.

I remember giving away an old rear projection TV without my dad's knowledge. The giant ones from the 90s. We stopped using the thing because the quality on new TVs had improved so much. Still, my dad was furious when he came back from a trip and the TV was gone. I probably shouldn't have done that.

What I've learned is you really can't force someone to change from a hoarder mindset. Because it is not just a behavior change. It is a mindset that is ingrained and built in. In order for them to change, their values need to change from finding security in the stuff to valuing the benefits of letting go of that stuff. That is something that has to come internally.

slackmax

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6042 on: August 05, 2022, 05:54:38 PM »
On the hoarder issue: yeah, don't try to change them. I had to give up on fixing my hoarder girl friend. Either that or break up!

On a happier note, I have a milestone to report. The big cannister vacuum cleaner I listed on Facebook a couple weeks ago has received zero interest, so today I convinced, or allowed, myself to pack it into the car and take it over to Salvation Army.

I had been postponing this for years, since it still worked, and I was using it to vacuum the living room, but I have 3 spare regular vacuum cleaners which are much easier to use.   


oneday

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6043 on: August 05, 2022, 07:37:33 PM »
Yay for making your life easier!

Sibley

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6044 on: August 05, 2022, 08:01:22 PM »
Washed a couple litterboxes last weekend, while sick with covid. (Thank you cat for making it necessary and not delayable.) The 2nd litterbox that got washed was one which I replaced a while ago but never got around to washing out, it's been in the garage for months. It is now clean. And I put it, and the bag of other stuff for the shelter, in the car. I need to empty and wash out another box, but we'll see.

Frugal Lizard

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6045 on: August 08, 2022, 08:21:37 AM »
We started on the boxes of household goods from my Mom's apartment.  DD went through everything with us and selected the items she wanted for her uni-res kitchenette and possibly for future apartment.  Then DH, bless him, started trying to get it all clean.  My mom always had really hard well water, with sulfyr and didn't care as things got greyer and greyer.  Most the steel items (cutlery, cooking utensils) got nice and shiny after a deep soak in hot vinegar water.  Some items needed a little help with elbow grease and baking soda.  I cleaned out her old coffee grinder and am going to use it powder foods I dehydrate such as garlic and green onions and these wicked hot peppers.  I have some really old rice I pulverized to get all the coffee residue out.  Now I have a dedicated grinder for herbs and spices. DD has all the gear and we are only keeping the high quality stuff.  Two more boxes to donate!

I went through the storage room to look for stuff and found a pile of empty boxes.  Our blue bin is now full of broken down cardboard.  Full!  One of the things DH and I are going to do once both kids are off to university is de-clutter.  DH is going to convert the play house to a garden storage shed and build me shelves for all the tools, pots and trays and bins for the soils / seed starting.  I am going to get him to make rods for drying plants and will have a stand where I can fill trays and pot up. So much gear will leave the garage, the basement, the back porch! I will know where everything is!

tygertygertyger

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6046 on: August 08, 2022, 08:41:08 AM »
It is my dream to know where everything is! I love this plan.

mspym

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6047 on: August 08, 2022, 03:30:15 PM »
Our NZ house is being the grateful recipient of my siblings' decluttering - a queen-size bed + bedding! a fridge! a washing machine! the bike my sister can't ride anymore!

We're all winning in this game.

okisok

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6048 on: August 08, 2022, 06:19:05 PM »
Finally gave up on the decade old hand-med-down printer and tossed it. It hasn't worked properly in a while and  I can print  at work if I have to. Two feet of cabinet space back and a free electrical outlet. Printer paper in the recycling bin. It was all reused paper that had printing on one side.

Took the winter comforter to the cleaners. It had been wadded up on the ironing board for months. It's not getting rid of it, but it's switching a big pile of dirty laundry into a usable item.

Tomorrow is trash & recycling bin day, so I'm making a sweep through the house to get rid of stuff.

GardenBaker

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #6049 on: August 09, 2022, 10:44:49 AM »
Sold 2 articles of clothing on Ebay. One did not fit and one I did not love. I didn't make much money since I offered free shipping but it got it out of my house and kept it out of the landfill. Hopefully the new buyers will love them.