Author Topic: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2  (Read 1065237 times)

mspym

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4900 on: March 20, 2021, 06:51:14 PM »
Thinking about MayDay's question, I think it can be hard to answer because of the assumptions made in the question. The habits that got me here?
- One would be buying books that were not available in the library, that I read and traded with friends and were part of my social community. My interests moved on and I no longer want to carry them around. So is the habit I need to discard buying books? Outgrowing hobbies?
- My other area is clothes, again I buy things when either an item wears out, or is about to, or my style changes. Is the habit I should discard entropy and fabric being an ephemeral material? Or should I keep wearing clothes that no longer reflect who I am? Sure, I could theoretically learn to not care about the opinion of strangers but *I* also don't like to wear ill-fitting/worn-out clothing that makes me feel bad.

Today, I am putting a wool cardigan that is itchy in the donation box.

Sibley

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4901 on: March 20, 2021, 07:38:46 PM »
I asked on the last page if anyone had changed the habits that got them into this mess..... I found it humorous that every response was along the lines of "well you see I personally do not actually have a problem" lolol. I will fully admit I need to do better!  For me it is a combo of anxiety around stuff (too much stuff that is!) and interest in "improving" things, ie decor, my wardrobe, and having the money to just go buy whatever is of interest and not need to really shop around and save and make sure I really want it. Like for our new puppy- I just buy her whatever toys or treats or whatnot that I want to try, and then inevitably some don't work out and need to be re-homed.

Part of this is likely that self reflection is hard. And change is even harder. The people who really need to do that reflection and make fundamental changes are thus less likely to do so. There's been a handful of people on this thread at one point or another who I really thought needed help dealing with underlying problems which lead to them getting too much stuff, or inabilities in getting rid of it. Each has been extremely resistant to the idea that they have a problem.

Sun Hat

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4902 on: March 21, 2021, 06:28:13 AM »
I certainly have a problem with clothes. Not so much in the volume that I have in the house, but in how I buy it. I have anxiety issues  and low self-esteem, so I buy all of my clothes online and tell myself that I don't care that they're ill-fitting. Then, when I look like a slob, I don't take care of my clothes, and end up ruining the sloppy clothes and then discarding them when they're too bad for even me to wear out of the house. It ends up churning through a lot of clothes, but changing the pattern would require hard emotional work, so it's easier to go online and buy myself a new wardrobe for $100.

People tend not to post such things because 1) it's a downer, and 2) problematic behaviours usually hide uncomfortable feelings

Plina

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4903 on: March 21, 2021, 09:11:27 AM »
I think the thing most of us could work with is the incoming stuff. I have stopped accepting stuff that I donít have a use of. Corporate gifts that I know I will not use will not enter my apartment. Conference gift bags are not accepted etc.

It drives me crazy when my parents show some random crap that they have gotten from their employer and it is stuffed in some cupboard or when they donít get rid of stuff they donít use anymore because it is a gift from x.

@Sun Hat I took some help from a professional to identify which kind of styles fit my body type. That have helped with shopping and today I can dismiss about 90 % of the clothes in a store by a glance. I also buy most of my stuff online. I also promised myself that I would not use any clothes I would not use outside of my home in my home. In other words even though I walk around with yoga pants and/or some other fitness clothes I am not going to wear something I would not wear in a gym.

This has actually allowed me to downsize my wardrobe because everything fits and is mostly matchable.

Raenia

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4904 on: March 21, 2021, 09:53:21 AM »
For me, I fixed the habits before I started the decluttering process.  I was never a hoarder, but was a typical consumer so had a lot of stuff coming into the house.

1. Started using the library and Open Library, and only buying books that either a) aren't available, in which case I donate them when I'm done, or b) I already know I will want to reread many times.
2. Stopped impulse buying things, especially clothes.  Frugality is great for preventing new clutter coming in.
3. Started saying no when people offer me things for free, especially my mom.

The actual decluttering process is almost an afterthought.

SunnyDays

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4905 on: March 21, 2021, 11:05:21 AM »
I certainly have a problem with clothes. Not so much in the volume that I have in the house, but in how I buy it. I have anxiety issues  and low self-esteem, so I buy all of my clothes online and tell myself that I don't care that they're ill-fitting. Then, when I look like a slob, I don't take care of my clothes, and end up ruining the sloppy clothes and then discarding them when they're too bad for even me to wear out of the house. It ends up churning through a lot of clothes, but changing the pattern would require hard emotional work, so it's easier to go online and buy myself a new wardrobe for $100.

People tend not to post such things because 1) it's a downer, and 2) problematic behaviours usually hide uncomfortable feelings


Have you ever seen the "What Not to Wear" TV series with Stacy London and Clinton Kelly?  People are "turned in" by friends and relatives who are appalled at their clothing choices and then re-dressed by the hosts.  The people learn why they dress the way they do, what actually suits them, how to identify clothing that works for them etc.  It sounds shallow but actually gives the people some insight into their overall psychology and they tend to feel a lot differently about themselves by the end.  I found it really interesting.  In your situation, it sounds like your clothes buying methods are perpetuating your low self esteem.  Maybe it's time to try something different?

MaybeBabyMustache

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4906 on: March 21, 2021, 01:10:06 PM »
For me, I fixed the habits before I started the decluttering process.  I was never a hoarder, but was a typical consumer so had a lot of stuff coming into the house.

1. Started using the library and Open Library, and only buying books that either a) aren't available, in which case I donate them when I'm done, or b) I already know I will want to reread many times.
2. Stopped impulse buying things, especially clothes.  Frugality is great for preventing new clutter coming in.
3. Started saying no when people offer me things for free, especially my mom.

The actual decluttering process is almost an afterthought.

That's a good way to put it, and I've done something similar.

As for today, sold a dress that's too big. Will get that packaged up & into the mail drop box.

Sun Hat

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4907 on: March 21, 2021, 03:39:38 PM »
I certainly have a problem with clothes. Not so much in the volume that I have in the house, but in how I buy it. I have anxiety issues  and low self-esteem, so I buy all of my clothes online and tell myself that I don't care that they're ill-fitting. Then, when I look like a slob, I don't take care of my clothes, and end up ruining the sloppy clothes and then discarding them when they're too bad for even me to wear out of the house. It ends up churning through a lot of clothes, but changing the pattern would require hard emotional work, so it's easier to go online and buy myself a new wardrobe for $100.

People tend not to post such things because 1) it's a downer, and 2) problematic behaviours usually hide uncomfortable feelings


Have you ever seen the "What Not to Wear" TV series with Stacy London and Clinton Kelly?  People are "turned in" by friends and relatives who are appalled at their clothing choices and then re-dressed by the hosts.  The people learn why they dress the way they do, what actually suits them, how to identify clothing that works for them etc.  It sounds shallow but actually gives the people some insight into their overall psychology and they tend to feel a lot differently about themselves by the end.  I found it really interesting.  In your situation, it sounds like your clothes buying methods are perpetuating your low self esteem.  Maybe it's time to try something different?

I used to love that show! Is it still on? I need that kind of intervention. I certainly need to try something different because dog-hair covered sweats aren't sparking joy.

On the non-clothes clutter front I'm doing great though, having parted with the last of my votive holders and throw cushions last week.

SunnyDays

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4908 on: March 21, 2021, 05:07:31 PM »
I certainly have a problem with clothes. Not so much in the volume that I have in the house, but in how I buy it. I have anxiety issues  and low self-esteem, so I buy all of my clothes online and tell myself that I don't care that they're ill-fitting. Then, when I look like a slob, I don't take care of my clothes, and end up ruining the sloppy clothes and then discarding them when they're too bad for even me to wear out of the house. It ends up churning through a lot of clothes, but changing the pattern would require hard emotional work, so it's easier to go online and buy myself a new wardrobe for $100.

People tend not to post such things because 1) it's a downer, and 2) problematic behaviours usually hide uncomfortable feelings


Have you ever seen the "What Not to Wear" TV series with Stacy London and Clinton Kelly?  People are "turned in" by friends and relatives who are appalled at their clothing choices and then re-dressed by the hosts.  The people learn why they dress the way they do, what actually suits them, how to identify clothing that works for them etc.  It sounds shallow but actually gives the people some insight into their overall psychology and they tend to feel a lot differently about themselves by the end.  I found it really interesting.  In your situation, it sounds like your clothes buying methods are perpetuating your low self esteem.  Maybe it's time to try something different?

I used to love that show! Is it still on? I need that kind of intervention. I certainly need to try something different because dog-hair covered sweats aren't sparking joy.

On the non-clothes clutter front I'm doing great though, having parted with the last of my votive holders and throw cushions last week.

No, itís not on anymore, but maybe itís worth it for you to try to rematch online?

I know what you mean about dog hair covered sweats because thatís what Iím wearing right now!  Other than the yard though, I donít wear them out in public.

Casual clothes can still look nice if they fit well and have some shape to them.  A strategy Iíve found useful is to go to a thrift store and try on lots of things to find brands that do fit nicely, then buy the same thing new.  It saves guess work and running from store to store.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4909 on: March 21, 2021, 07:55:41 PM »
Thinking about MayDay's question, I think it can be hard to answer because of the assumptions made in the question. The habits that got me here?

+1

I'm done with my "habit" of procreation, so I guess there's that...  Some things you collect for a stage of life and then you release when done.  They're not a habit that needs to be fixed.  For example, I'm looking forward to getting rid of breastfeeding supply items when I wean in a month (e.g. 1 pump from each, bottles, nursing pillows, breastmilk storage bags and freezer container), but I wouldn't say I should have changed the "habit" of feeding my kids!

Likewise, we'll pass on toys as my daughter outgrows them.  I'm happy to move, on but I don't regret bringing them into the house (98% gifts or hand-me-downs).  I also wouldn't have chosen to say no to more of the hand-me-downs (even those we haven't used so much), because once you start saying no, people stop offering and we've saved SO MUCH by using 2nd hand items, everything from cribs to strollers to clothes to smaller items like nursing pillows and toys. 

oneday

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4910 on: March 21, 2021, 10:54:49 PM »
I absolutely have a problem with paper, @MayDay. I've been able to put some rules in place to help sort through the stack, but the basic problem is I don't wanna adult, when it comes to paperwork. So dang boring! And I haven't been able to dislodge that attitude. Ultimately, I continue to pick at the problem and maybe someday I'll accept the drudgery as part of my life. It's happened in other areas.



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LinneaH

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4911 on: March 22, 2021, 02:40:51 AM »
Well, since last year I am done with my "habit" of my ex... that took care of a lot of shit :-D.

To be fair, not all of the clutter was his (by far) but we never got to the bottom of stuff. He didn't want to and he didn't want to do his share of housework and family responsibilities, so I was often too tired and did not have the energy to take care of it all.

However, I do think that a lot of my problem is not "habits" but "history", I had a lot of stuff from teenage/early twenties and from what I have inherited from grandparents. I have never had anything like a shopping addiction, more "cannot get rid of sentimental stuff". I am now almost 50, I don't buy a lot of stuff, so there has been more going out than coming in for several years. Also, in the last few years, I have managed to let go of a lot of sentimental things, that didn't really mean that much to me, which meant that my moving and down-sizing last year was pretty smooth.

So yes, I have changed my habits, but my problem was always "keeping", not so much "acquiring".
I am making sure that I am aware how much I have changed and how much my life has changed, and that I try to remember how much stuff I had and how that impacted me.

slackmax

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4912 on: March 22, 2021, 09:56:24 AM »
Chipping away here. Spent 2 hours rifling through bags of old paperwork from the computer room.  A bit more floor space opened up, which is good for morale, since a lot of my decluttering lately has been from inside storage containers. The clutter is gone but the containers remain (for now).

Was able to cull 5 pounds of it and it is currently on the curb awaiting the recycling truck's arrival.

LinneaH,  similar situation here with inheriting stuff. My girlfriend was a getter and keeper of stuff.  She is gone now, but her stuff remains and I am slowly decluttering it. I am a keeper, so it is kind of a struggle to get rid of it. It's always the last thing on my list of things to do, but I occasionally devote time to it, and as noted, am chipping away.

Too be fair, a big chunk (10%) of the clutter is my stuff, not hers.       

NotJen

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4913 on: March 22, 2021, 03:33:22 PM »
Finally sold my kayak today.  After getting stood up on Saturday, the buyer eventually made it out today.  I was a little upset because I had come home specifically for the pickup on Sat night, but I let her get it today without being bitchy about it since I was home anyway.  One less thing to worry about now!

I'm about a week out from trying to sell most of my good furniture.  Waiting for inspection results to come in for the home sale before believing I really have to be out of here in 17 days.

I asked on the last page if anyone had changed the habits that got them into this mess..... I found it humorous that every response was along the lines of "well you see I personally do not actually have a problem"

That's how I was going to reply!  I truly don't think I have a problem with incoming items.  I stopped shopping for fun a long time ago (if I ever actually shopped for fun - more out of boredom).  I'm totally fine "shopping" with friends and not making any purchases.  Most incoming items are replacements for previous purchases, and new items are carefully considered.  It was a change made long ago, and I think a lot of it has to do with getting older and knowing myself better.

And I don't consider my personal situation to be a mess.  My problem is living in the same house for 15 years, and having 2000+ sq ft for one person.  There are so many places to put things and never think about them again!  Even with unused items in my cabinets, they still aren't full or cluttered!  I started getting rid of things a couple of years ago because I knew that I eventually wanted to sell my house, getting more serious now that it's imminent.  I like posting here about the emotional attachment I have to some things, which helps me release that attachment.

One big recent change is to let myself get rid of gifts I don't want as soon as I get them.  I used to hang on to stuff I didn't want because someone had given it to me, and I could possibly regift it at some point, or maybe eventually will use it.  But I definitely don't want to move with that crap, so out it goes, no guilt attached.

Sibley

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4914 on: March 22, 2021, 06:41:57 PM »
My trash can is actually full this week. Wow. Of course, I missed taking the trash out last week, so that doesn't help.

Threw out an old litterbox. I don't need 3 boxes with just Arwen, and the 2 I kept have an extra wide lip that results in the mess not getting under the box when Arwen misses (usually on purpose, she's been upset lately). Much easier to clean up.

Finally got around to fixing the dryer vent, it got smashed off when all the snow & ice melted and an ice shelf came crashing down. Tossed the old one, removed the clutter of the new one.

Two boxes of old family pictures and related stuff in the car to drop at my aunts house tomorrow. Her problem.

Organized some stuff that came from my parents house that can't go on the truck, that is all out of the way. Will eventually leave the house whenever they get a new place. There is more coming, and then my parents and their cats too at some point.

Took down and put away the Christmas lights. Kinda sad now, they were pretty.

Dutch Comfort

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4915 on: March 23, 2021, 02:06:17 AM »
Just sent my son to school carrying 6 extra books for the free library at school. Will do this every day this week until the full box that I have is empty (poor kiddo......). 

Sold an unused school backpack this weekend.

My daughter finally went through all her "crafts" which she made during age 2-4 (she is 13 now). She decided to keep only 3 things. The rest of the box could be trashed! So proud of her.

Husband bought new audio equipment (first time in >20 years). Now we have to get rid of the old ones. Let's see if I can Craigslist them this week and get them out of the house.

innkeeper77

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4916 on: March 23, 2021, 09:45:22 AM »
In the past month:
Made $1600 from old tech items on Ebay- after fees and shipping!
Sold $27 of misc on craigslist over 3 listings, listed intentionally cheap.
Gave away 3 free listings on craigslist including an old scrap microwave

And last night I got rid of more clutter!
Recycled a large box for my desk monitor mounting arm, and moved the instructions, tools, and different bolt sizes into a much smaller box for future use. It doesn't need the full packaging for the next time we move! I can put the bolts in the small box, and just carry the arm itself.
Recycled 2 other boxes that were just sitting in the basement
Recycled old papers
Put some tech and old kid stuff in the donate box
listed a bunch of unused woodworking parts really cheap on craigslist, plus some tech. I currently have 9 active listings! I put a temporary shelf up as a staging area for sorting, selling, or recycling.
Threw away some old "maybe useful" items nobody would want.

I am really working on the "this could be useful someday" issue- even if my house isn't filled, the cost to replace doesn't outweigh the mental drag of piles in the basement. Plus, with this much UNSORTED "useful" crap, I would never find it when needed. I will keep useful items and tools, but need them all to be properly sorted and categorized to be worth keeping. Eventually I want a food pantry, and a "stuff" pantry, with nothing stored that doesn't have a dedicated "space", and with an organizational scheme to make it easy to find things. If I can't fit spare parts or assorted tools in there, to someone or somewhere else they need to go.
« Last Edit: March 23, 2021, 09:48:00 AM by innkeeper77 »

LinneaH

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4917 on: March 23, 2021, 11:11:52 AM »
LinneaH,  similar situation here with inheriting stuff. My girlfriend was a getter and keeper of stuff.  She is gone now, but her stuff remains and I am slowly decluttering it. I am a keeper, so it is kind of a struggle to get rid of it. It's always the last thing on my list of things to do, but I occasionally devote time to it, and as noted, am chipping away.

Too be fair, a big chunk (10%) of the clutter is my stuff, not hers.     

@slackmax, yes I have seen the hard work you are doing, good job!
I have actually moved on a bit from being a keeper, towards minimalism (absolutely not there yet, but going there in some areas). I used to be very sentimental, and that has changed, even so that a very close friend said a couple of years ago "I can't believe how you can be so non-sentimental". I  believe this is due to a combination of several moves, personal development in general and a lot of Youtube-watching (decluttering and Minimalism)  + also reading and agreeeing w/KonMari - keep only what sparks joy. Also helps that I am pretty non-conventional.

I wish you a continued good decluttering!

NotJen

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4918 on: March 23, 2021, 12:02:47 PM »
Lately I've been trying keep unwanted email clutter at bay.  I get lots of emails from places I have a relationship with, but I usually just delete the email after I read the subject.  I'm making sure to actually open these emails and unsubscribe.  It's really hard, because my automatic reaction is to just delete!  I'll be living away from home with limited internet access over the summer, so keeping junk email to a minimum will be important.

I also finally signed up for paperless statements for all my credit cards and bills last month.  I used to like the physical reminder so that I don't miss anything, but realistically, it's an overwhelming amount of mail that I truly don't need.  Since I switched over, I've definitely noticed the lack of mail, which is good.

mspym

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4919 on: March 23, 2021, 03:59:24 PM »
A great video from one of my favourite YT minimalists  - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDwZ64IglXQ

Her approach is like Midwest Marie Kondo (not that she knows it) and her wardrobe planning is not officially Capsule but is strongly aligned with Anushka Rees' Curated Closet.

okisok

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4920 on: March 23, 2021, 08:00:32 PM »
I *knew* you were describing Dawn! I love her channel and have been watching it for months. She is extremely motivating to me.

MayDay

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4921 on: March 24, 2021, 06:15:42 AM »
Perhaps I phrased it poorly by using the word habit. I was thinking about habit broadly- but maybe a better phrasing would be "life circumstances".

I got rid of quite a few things last weekend! Did a nice closet sweep, and I feel better afterwards. The main culprits were clothes from work. They all have to be ordered online and the sizing is unpredictable. My boss just gave me two new shirts. One is too small, one is too large. Both are supposedly size L. Neither can be returned. Ugh. I will put them out for free to coworkers but it is a bit touchy because they were a gift from my boss.

SunnyDays

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4922 on: March 24, 2021, 09:48:41 AM »
Perhaps I phrased it poorly by using the word habit. I was thinking about habit broadly- but maybe a better phrasing would be "life circumstances".

I got rid of quite a few things last weekend! Did a nice closet sweep, and I feel better afterwards. The main culprits were clothes from work. They all have to be ordered online and the sizing is unpredictable. My boss just gave me two new shirts. One is too small, one is too large. Both are supposedly size L. Neither can be returned. Ugh. I will put them out for free to coworkers but it is a bit touchy because they were a gift from my boss.

Go to your boss first and say something like, "I love the shirts you gave me, but unfortunately the manufacturer's sizing is inconsistent and they don't fit.  I'd like someone else to enjoy them though, so do you mind if I offer them to others?"  As long as you put a positive spin on it, I can't see him/her being offended.  Unless they are very thin skinned.

MountainGal

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4923 on: March 24, 2021, 10:17:14 AM »
@SunnyDays, great suggestion!

Lately:
~Over the past week I've used up the tiny bit of makeup in two different bottles using a makeup brush, the remaining bit of a hand soap bottle, and a bottle each of detergent and bleach.
~I've continued to post over on the eat all of the food in your house MMM thread.
~We were given a gift card for a new dishwasher, which meant we had to clear out the sink cabinet.  I tossed several things, will give away a few other things, and I'll corral the rag pile into a box.
~DH broke down a dilapidated shed from our land and used the metal siding as a privacy fence around half of the enclosed garden.  This way he can garden this summer without people driving by staring at him.


former player

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4924 on: March 24, 2021, 11:26:44 AM »
Perhaps I phrased it poorly by using the word habit. I was thinking about habit broadly- but maybe a better phrasing would be "life circumstances".

I got rid of quite a few things last weekend! Did a nice closet sweep, and I feel better afterwards. The main culprits were clothes from work. They all have to be ordered online and the sizing is unpredictable. My boss just gave me two new shirts. One is too small, one is too large. Both are supposedly size L. Neither can be returned. Ugh. I will put them out for free to coworkers but it is a bit touchy because they were a gift from my boss.

Go to your boss first and say something like, "I love the shirts you gave me, but unfortunately the manufacturer's sizing is inconsistent and they don't fit.  I'd like someone else to enjoy them though, so do you mind if I offer them to others?"  As long as you put a positive spin on it, I can't see him/her being offended.  Unless they are very thin skinned.
You could also frame it as a request for a swap - I love these shirts but the sizes are a bit odd, can anyone do a swap with me?"

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4925 on: March 24, 2021, 12:32:37 PM »
Watching her videos is helping me.  I just donated most of the stuff I had bought for our vow renewal , which didnít happen bc of Covid.  I kept thinking I should wait until people were having weddings again and sell it.  But I hate selling things, I would much rather just put them back into the world, and let the charity that runs the thrift store have that money.  I donated approx $400 (when bought new) table cloths, runners, centerpieces, things to make invitations.
I tried to donate my wedding dress, but at the last minute I decided to keep it - I may try to dye it and use it as a dress for a Mardi Gras ball.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4926 on: March 24, 2021, 12:41:39 PM »
I tried to donate my wedding dress, but at the last minute I decided to keep it - I may try to dye it and use it as a dress for a Mardi Gras ball.

I finally donated my wedding dress with a bunch of clothes a few months ago (after having been divorced for over 10 years).  I don't know why I kept it so long - it was from a department store and pretty hideous.  I'm hoping someone makes a costume out of it!

RetiredAt63

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4927 on: March 24, 2021, 06:52:35 PM »
I tried to donate my wedding dress, but at the last minute I decided to keep it - I may try to dye it and use it as a dress for a Mardi Gras ball.

I finally donated my wedding dress with a bunch of clothes a few months ago (after having been divorced for over 10 years).  I don't know why I kept it so long - it was from a department store and pretty hideous.  I'm hoping someone makes a costume out of it!

It took me downsizing from my house to an apartment to donate my wedding dress.  I'd been separated/divorced 10 years by then!  I still have my wedding and engagement rings, they just sit in the box.  At least they take up less space.  ;-)

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4928 on: March 25, 2021, 06:44:44 AM »
I tried to donate my wedding dress, but at the last minute I decided to keep it - I may try to dye it and use it as a dress for a Mardi Gras ball.

I finally donated my wedding dress with a bunch of clothes a few months ago (after having been divorced for over 10 years).  I don't know why I kept it so long - it was from a department store and pretty hideous.  I'm hoping someone makes a costume out of it!

It took me downsizing from my house to an apartment to donate my wedding dress.  I'd been separated/divorced 10 years by then!  I still have my wedding and engagement rings, they just sit in the box.  At least they take up less space.  ;-)

Mine was red and is currently hanging out in the cargo area of my car.  I've been thinking of having it turned into a xmas tree skirt.

crowinghen

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4929 on: March 25, 2021, 01:14:59 PM »

[/quote]

Mine was red and is currently hanging out in the cargo area of my car.  I've been thinking of having it turned into a xmas tree skirt.
[/quote]

Great idea!

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4930 on: March 25, 2021, 01:16:41 PM »
we are getting ready to move/downsize- lots of stuff to get rid of!
today I'm giving away a bunch of glassware and a griddle- I post on the buy nothing FB page that is local, at least i know someone who wants it is getting it, and I don't have to go through the hassle of trying to donate or sell stuff!

oneday

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4931 on: March 25, 2021, 07:40:12 PM »
Yesterday, gave a literal carload of boxes and packing material to a Craigslist stranger. Almost all boxes are now unpacked. Many of the remaining things needing homes are storage bins and baskets from the prior apartment that may or may not prove to be useful here. I vow not to keep any useless ones.

MayDay

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4932 on: March 27, 2021, 08:02:48 AM »
Yesterday, gave a literal carload of boxes and packing material to a Craigslist stranger. Almost all boxes are now unpacked. Many of the remaining things needing homes are storage bins and baskets from the prior apartment that may or may not prove to be useful here. I vow not to keep any useless ones.

We have about 10 big tubs in our garage, all empty, from when we moved here. Our house has closets so now we don't need them, hallelujah! But I have a kid leaving for college in 5 years. So I've been debating getting rid of them now or just let them sit in the corner of the garage. I also use them in the garden and break them occasionally so I am leaning towards holding onto them. Probably silly.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4933 on: March 27, 2021, 09:28:52 AM »
Yesterday, gave a literal carload of boxes and packing material to a Craigslist stranger. Almost all boxes are now unpacked. Many of the remaining things needing homes are storage bins and baskets from the prior apartment that may or may not prove to be useful here. I vow not to keep any useless ones.

We have about 10 big tubs in our garage, all empty, from when we moved here. Our house has closets so now we don't need them, hallelujah! But I have a kid leaving for college in 5 years. So I've been debating getting rid of them now or just let them sit in the corner of the garage. I also use them in the garden and break them occasionally so I am leaning towards holding onto them. Probably silly.

I vote for keeping them, especially if they can be stacked inside one another. Plus, when one breaks you can be happy to get rid of it, not sad, lol.

mspym

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4934 on: March 27, 2021, 02:18:03 PM »
Yesterday, gave a literal carload of boxes and packing material to a Craigslist stranger. Almost all boxes are now unpacked. Many of the remaining things needing homes are storage bins and baskets from the prior apartment that may or may not prove to be useful here. I vow not to keep any useless ones.

We have about 10 big tubs in our garage, all empty, from when we moved here. Our house has closets so now we don't need them, hallelujah! But I have a kid leaving for college in 5 years. So I've been debating getting rid of them now or just let them sit in the corner of the garage. I also use them in the garden and break them occasionally so I am leaning towards holding onto them. Probably silly.
I would hold on to two, to cover potential breakage, and give the rest away. Let them be used by someone. You can get some more from a stranger if and when you need them.

oneday

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4935 on: March 27, 2021, 11:25:15 PM »
Yesterday, gave a literal carload of boxes and packing material to a Craigslist stranger. Almost all boxes are now unpacked. Many of the remaining things needing homes are storage bins and baskets from the prior apartment that may or may not prove to be useful here. I vow not to keep any useless ones.

We have about 10 big tubs in our garage, all empty, from when we moved here. Our house has closets so now we don't need them, hallelujah! But I have a kid leaving for college in 5 years. So I've been debating getting rid of them now or just let them sit in the corner of the garage. I also use them in the garden and break them occasionally so I am leaning towards holding onto them. Probably silly.
I would hold on to two, to cover potential breakage, and give the rest away. Let them be used by someone. You can get some more from a stranger if and when you need them.

Totes.

I mean, I agree. Yes, store them on Craigslist (if that is an option for you).




Declutter fail yesterday. Drove 15 minutes to give some stuff away, and the recipient had their door closed, garden gate locked, and not responding to emails. Boo. Tried to reschedule for tomorrow, but still no response. This was the first flaky person in my last score of CL encounters. Item is relisted; if the original person comes through, even better.

And got some interest in a futon (frame only) that's been lingering in the carport for a month. They said they would get back to me in a few days, but not holding my breath. BF and I were just contemplating alternative disposal methods, so this would be a money savings if it happens. 🤞

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4936 on: March 28, 2021, 02:40:25 AM »
Sold some shoe racks, yay! I had replaced them earlier in the week for a shoe rack / coat stand combo thing. Now we can hang coats, shopping bags and dog leads in the garage instead of dumping them on top of the shoes. Looks so much neater.

I've got a little craft area going on in the laundry area of the garage. I might put a bit of pegboard on the wall and make it official.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4937 on: March 28, 2021, 11:27:11 AM »
After Fridays fail, today the thing went to someone else who was mighty grateful. That felt good.

And there was interest in a futon frame that's been lingering for a month. Hopefully it will be gone soon.

Edit: the futon is gone, woo!
« Last Edit: March 28, 2021, 11:50:09 AM by oneday »

slackmax

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4938 on: March 28, 2021, 12:43:42 PM »
Way to go, Oneday !

PMG

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4939 on: March 28, 2021, 01:06:01 PM »
I think we're just slightly messy people. We also use all of our house. That whole empty minimalist look just isn't going to happen for us.  We cook, bake, sew, garden, work from home, read, camp, ride bikes, have pets, have friends...

So I guess I'm so working on coming to a balance between what I imagine our house should look like, and what is feasible and then what is comfortable.  How do we want to spend our time?

All that to say, I took a couple little things to goodwill, I sold another little item on ebay.  I finished a couple projects. And the house is still lived in and a bit disheveled... and... that's ok. 

oneday

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4940 on: March 28, 2021, 01:45:26 PM »
Way to go, Oneday !

Thanks Slackmax! We'll both just keep chugging along! :)


I think we're just slightly messy people. We also use all of our house. That whole empty minimalist look just isn't going to happen for us.  We cook, bake, sew, garden, work from home, read, camp, ride bikes, have pets, have friends...

So I guess I'm so working on coming to a balance between what I imagine our house should look like, and what is feasible and then what is comfortable.  How do we want to spend our time?

All that to say, I took a couple little things to goodwill, I sold another little item on ebay.  I finished a couple projects. And the house is still lived in and a bit disheveled... and... that's ok. 


I've struggled a long time, as well, to strike a balance. Because I'd dearly love to live in one of the beautiful minimalism blogs. But I just can't...I mean, when I leave the house I usually have two large bags of stuff! That's my realistic lifestyle. So after time, it's become clear that one key thing is having easy access to everything. Another is having certain surfaces clear. Another is not having stuff in storage that is just "storage". It needs to be reasonably used/useful. Being able to implement these principles has helped. I hope you find some principles that bring you peace in your environment.


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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4941 on: March 28, 2021, 03:07:36 PM »
I think we're just slightly messy people. We also use all of our house. That whole empty minimalist look just isn't going to happen for us.  We cook, bake, sew, garden, work from home, read, camp, ride bikes, have pets, have friends...

So I guess I'm so working on coming to a balance between what I imagine our house should look like, and what is feasible and then what is comfortable.  How do we want to spend our time?

All that to say, I took a couple little things to goodwill, I sold another little item on ebay.  I finished a couple projects. And the house is still lived in and a bit disheveled... and... that's ok.
One of the things I took from Francine Joy (Jay?) was the idea that putting things away left the space free for whatever you wanted to do next. That you were more likely to do the things you wanted to do now if you didn't have to clear away the last thing before you could. I am much more likely to sew if I don't have to clear bags and other things off my sewing table first.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4942 on: March 28, 2021, 07:17:34 PM »
I think we're just slightly messy people. We also use all of our house. That whole empty minimalist look just isn't going to happen for us.  We cook, bake, sew, garden, work from home, read, camp, ride bikes, have pets, have friends...

So I guess I'm so working on coming to a balance between what I imagine our house should look like, and what is feasible and then what is comfortable.  How do we want to spend our time?

All that to say, I took a couple little things to goodwill, I sold another little item on ebay.  I finished a couple projects. And the house is still lived in and a bit disheveled... and... that's ok.
One of the things I took from Francine Joy (Jay?) was the idea that putting things away left the space free for whatever you wanted to do next. That you were more likely to do the things you wanted to do now if you didn't have to clear away the last thing before you could. I am much more likely to sew if I don't have to clear bags and other things off my sewing table first.

I have also felt calmer when the house is less messy.  We both are not natural "put-away" people, but when we work at it a bit, the house feels less "busy" to me.  We both enjoy it more even though there is no really significant change, just bare tabletops and nothing on the floor.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4943 on: March 29, 2021, 02:53:04 AM »
Box of books is almost empty. Hopefully this week the last few books will be taken to school (if DS and the teacher both test negative for COVID..... fingers crossed....).
The cardbord box was already used for a crafts project by DS, so this will be trashed after he is done with it (usually in 1-2 weeks).
Sold 1 book, will be in the mail today (in re-used Amazon package) and sold a lot of childrens' summer clothing that they have outgrown, which was already picked up by the buyer.


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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4944 on: March 29, 2021, 09:32:57 AM »
I think we're just slightly messy people. We also use all of our house. That whole empty minimalist look just isn't going to happen for us.  We cook, bake, sew, garden, work from home, read, camp, ride bikes, have pets, have friends...

So I guess I'm so working on coming to a balance between what I imagine our house should look like, and what is feasible and then what is comfortable.  How do we want to spend our time?

All that to say, I took a couple little things to goodwill, I sold another little item on ebay.  I finished a couple projects. And the house is still lived in and a bit disheveled... and... that's ok.
One of the things I took from Francine Joy (Jay?) was the idea that putting things away left the space free for whatever you wanted to do next. That you were more likely to do the things you wanted to do now if you didn't have to clear away the last thing before you could. I am much more likely to sew if I don't have to clear bags and other things off my sewing table first.

I have also felt calmer when the house is less messy.  We both are not natural "put-away" people, but when we work at it a bit, the house feels less "busy" to me.  We both enjoy it more even though there is no really significant change, just bare tabletops and nothing on the floor.

I think what I'm trying to say is that I think we've found our sweet spot.  It's not the magazine spread I envisioned, but it's pretty reasonable. A bit messy, but I'd still invite someone inside.  I'd prefer to have a few minutes warning so I could do a little clean up first, but it wouldn't stop me from having someone in. On busy weeks things pile up a bit more, but we naturally catch things up as we have time and then the clean and clutter balance out. With an intentional clean every once in a while... I think it's alright.

And of course regular maintenance of the incoming mail and randomness, and the seasonal.  And there are places in the house that could be streamlined or have more efficient furniture, but those we're waiting until the right piece come along. 

So now I've got to adjust this picture in my head to our real life and not our aspirational life and get those in harmony, and I am working through it out loud here.  In truth, the hobbies ARE a huge part of our aspirational life, it's just easy to ignore the tools and supplies that go along with those hobbies! We will always have projects in the works, and dishes in the kitchen.  Things will always be fluid. And that's ok. 

Now, if anyone has any good ideas for making cat toys look less like a mess when they are strewn all over the floor, I am all ears.  We've got a pretty basket to put them away in, but cat toys that are put away aren't doing their job, they are only effective when they are strewn about. I guess I need to add them to the picture in my head.











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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4945 on: March 29, 2021, 09:38:04 AM »
Looked through a closet stuffed full of clothes and found about 10 pieces I could bring myself to part with. Put them all in a big plastic bag to donate. Not expensive clothes, so no anxiety involved, no sense of loss.  Even found 5 other pieces of clothing elsewhere in the house, and put them in the bag too.

I'll take the bag to Salvation Army today, and hope they are still accepting donations, lol.   The Goodwill store here had a sign out saying 'no donations, please' last time I went there. Yikes.     






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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4946 on: March 29, 2021, 10:24:14 AM »
Divorced my cheating husband and packed my stuff which all fits into 33 plastic bins plus the furniture. We sold the house and unfortunately I have to help him get rid of his crap because he doesnít work fast enough. I packed all his inside crap. Then I hired the teen next door to empty the partial dirt basement, giant shed and garage onto the patios and yard. I filled a huge trailer for the dump in 2 days. I am 66 and my entire body hurts.  Also had a huge moving sale and sold almost everything and made 500. Put stuff out for free in front of the house and most of it is gone. Canít wait to get this done and live in a neat condo that I bought.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4947 on: March 29, 2021, 10:52:59 AM »
@PMG, I hear you on the cat toys.  And dog toys and rawhide remnants.  If the cat toys are in their basket, they just take them out at night and the dog toys never get touched if they're in the basket, so I just compromise and sweep them into a floor pile with my foot and call it done.  You have to be realistic, right?  It's home, we live here!

oneday

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4948 on: March 29, 2021, 11:01:48 AM »
@Cassie sorry about your divorce! It's too bad that the initiating partner often end up doing more than their share of the work, but it's kind of the nature of the beast. I don't regret the extra work I had to put into mine, since it got me where I wanted to be, but it still sucks. Enjoy your neat condo!!

mspym

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4949 on: March 29, 2021, 01:24:51 PM »
@PMG I can cope with the dog's toys strewn about if they aren't also joined by multiple pairs of discarded shoes (boys) and/or bags (me). I'm pleased you found your sweet spot.

@Cassie I am sorry about your divorce, you are powering through like a champ and your condo is going to be so calming after this.

@slackmax Well done on the clothes. I know this isn't easy but it's impressive that you keep plugging away at this.