Author Topic: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2  (Read 1238651 times)

kimura

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4850 on: March 11, 2021, 01:26:12 PM »
Reading this thread strangely makes the OCD in me feel quiet satisfied. Im thinking of all the stuff I have that has been unused for years that I am going to sell , throw away, and donate. My biggest fear is the sudden need/want of something I just got rid of.

MaybeBabyMustache

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4851 on: March 11, 2021, 03:25:14 PM »
How is everyone doing with changing the habits that got you in this position in the first place?

I am doing pretty well but obviously there's always room to improve. With kid stuff the biggest issue is my parents buying then things, and I am getting more and more ruthless as the kids get older that THEY have to make decisions and can say "no thanks grandma, I won't use that" instead of taking everything.

For general household stuff I will admit this is harder.

My H remains the biggest packrat in the house.

I've never been much of an "accumulater". However, we have kids, and kids grow, change, need new things. It's a constant effort to stay on top of their stuff. Also, my husband is way more of a consumer & "keeper of things" than I am, so I am always on the lookout for things we don't need.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4852 on: March 11, 2021, 04:03:24 PM »
How is everyone doing with changing the habits that got you in this position in the first place?

Not habits as such as I've never been much of a consumer. Biggest issue was probably societal norms like having a spare bed for guests (used maybe 5 times in 10 yrs and twice it was pet sitters) and having a wedding list for stuff I didn't need (I was in a horrible job at the time which meant that the wedding didn't have enough thought put into it).

I mainly declutter so there is less to clean & maintain. I like clear surfaces but struggle to maintain them.

My husband hangs onto things, but it's more or less contained. I don't touch his stuff but I think I might be slowly getting through about storing stuff on gumtree (Craigslist) and so on.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4853 on: March 11, 2021, 04:39:16 PM »
How is everyone doing with changing the habits that got you in this position in the first place?

I am doing pretty well but obviously there's always room to improve. With kid stuff the biggest issue is my parents buying then things, and I am getting more and more ruthless as the kids get older that THEY have to make decisions and can say "no thanks grandma, I won't use that" instead of taking everything.

For general household stuff I will admit this is harder.

My H remains the biggest packrat in the house.

Not habits, but a personality that doesn't want to get rid of anything, and also doesn't want to decide about it. Decisions.

I have lots of clutter left over from my girl friend living here before. I just plug away at it. Sometimes I make myself delve into an area I thought I had already gone through, and find more stuff I can 'allow' myself to donate or sell or throw out.

My mind says item x is junk, just throw it out, but something else is getting all stressed out thinking about throwing item x out. Some things are easy, some are hard, some I just keep for various reasons. 

I am definitely NOT bringing any new stuff into the house, never had that problem in the first place. thank goodness.   

From your previous posts, it seems that you have a hard time letting go because you see potential value in everything.  Which can be true - most things have some value, but are they of value to YOU?  I try to compare the value of something Iím considering parting with to the value of my most treasured possessions.  I find this makes it easier to assign a relative value and if an item doesnít even come close, itís gone.  Once itís gone, I never think of it again, which shows that it really didnít have a value to me.  You could try boxing up random stuff thatís in your way, and if you havenít thought about those things or needed them in a month, then just get rid of the whole box.  Do this once a week, and after a month youíll have a box a week to let go of.
 

oneday

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4854 on: March 12, 2021, 12:17:43 AM »
How is everyone doing with changing the habits that got you in this position in the first place?

I am doing pretty well but obviously there's always room to improve. With kid stuff the biggest issue is my parents buying then things, and I am getting more and more ruthless as the kids get older that THEY have to make decisions and can say "no thanks grandma, I won't use that" instead of taking everything.

For general household stuff I will admit this is harder.

My H remains the biggest packrat in the house.

Great discussion question, @MayDay !

I'm making a renewed effort at paperwork sorting and tossing. Always room for improvement there! Got a bit done over the last few days.

Found a legitimate use for the thing I dreaded listing, so deleted the post and found a home for it.

Successfully gave away the additional extra pet supplies.

Took a day off yesterday because the missing part of the bad arrived and after a week and a half I wanted to sleep on a mattress not on the floor. It was glorious! And the place *looks* less cluttered because it doesn't have parts of the bed frame scattered about.

Today, walked with BF to the little free library where he exchanged several books. While the quantity of books remains constant, at least these books will be useful. The other ones were door stops to us. I'm taking credit for reminding him to bring the books.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4855 on: March 12, 2021, 05:51:11 AM »
Still a pile of childrens' clothes near my WFH space. Hope to have everything on Craigslist this weekend and the remaining clothes nicely in a box waiting for their buyers. If not sold soon, I will donate the rest in a few weeks time.
Already sold around 30 pieces and gave away another 15 pieces to friends with a son who is just one size below mine. Also gave away 2 girls' bags with the clothing. Happy to get these out of the house.

Tax filing is done and I've put away the papers for that. Hopefully we can toss that in 10 years time....

Next challenge: when checking the attic I found a box of "crafts" from my daughter which she made at age 2-4. She is 13 now, so time to check whether I/she wants to keep anything from that box.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4856 on: March 12, 2021, 06:22:13 AM »
Sibley wrote:
<<   Would a neutral 3rd party be helpful in clearing the excess stuff? It might cost money to hire a professional, but it might be worth it for the peace of mind of having a neat and tidy house with just the belongings you need and want.  >>

Thanks, Sibley. I wouldn't use a stranger, but I would be OK with a friend or family member looking around the place and identifying things I might have overlooked, to get rid of. Part of the benefit would be having the person agree that it's OK to get rid of it (or not).     

NotJen

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4857 on: March 12, 2021, 02:10:58 PM »
Sold another furniture piece today.  It was something I liked and didn't necessarily want to get rid of, but for the last 15 years, its function has been "to take up space", and I no longer need things that take up space.  And not worth disassembling and storing either.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4858 on: March 12, 2021, 06:14:11 PM »
Went through the winter clothes and put three pieces in the donate bag. If it didn't get worn this winter (the coldest we've had in something like 80 years), it's not going to get worn next winter either.
Mailed a book to a friend. This one is a big mindset shift for me. It's part of a series, I've been anticipating it for months, and I pre-ordered it. I spent more on it than I spent on books all of last year! It was hugely disappointing. I struggled to chapter 8, then skimmed the last chapter. In the past I would've kept it, unread, for ages and felt guilty, or even wasted days slogging through it because I paid GOOD MONEY for it. I would have displayed the whole matching set and moved them several times. Now I've realized the money is gone but I still have the time.
She was interested in it, so off it went today with a reused box and wrapping from work. No guilt, no regret, and no bookshelf space or headspace taken up by a book I don't like.

PMG

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4859 on: March 13, 2021, 08:34:25 AM »
Third item sold on ebay!  This one a specialized sewing machine foot that I no longer need with my new machine.  I bought it second hand for $2. Sold for $11 plus shipping. I am more motivated by getting these things to someone who will use them than I am by the money, but it is a nice little bonus.


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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4860 on: March 13, 2021, 04:31:13 PM »
-Sold a pair of outgrown kids shorts on eBay. Packaged & out of the house
-Gathered up all of the Xbox stuff (7 games, 1 controller, Xbox, Kinect & various wires & instruction manuals). Listed on FB. I love that there are a bunch of things that will leave my house when it sells
-In the Xbox process, found 3 remotes for mysterious electronics. I've put them in my research pile, where this week I will either determine they are worthless & find an electronics recycling, or sell them on eBay, for others who may have lost remotes for mysterious electronics.

mspym

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4861 on: March 13, 2021, 05:31:49 PM »
A friend who recently moved house asked if I had any large jars she could have for her kitchen. You bet I do! She gets containers and I get more shelf space. YAY.

Loretta

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4862 on: March 13, 2021, 06:58:29 PM »
I freecycled a recliner that was excess in my livingroom, itís feeling much more spacious.  I swear I need a professional feng shui guru to tell me how best to configure my long, dark, and skinny livingroom. 

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4863 on: March 14, 2021, 08:51:19 AM »
I de-cluttered all my allium seeds - there were several packets of old seeds plus the three types of new seeds have way more than I actually need.  I decided to start them all  and see what happens.  Onion seed does not last in dormancy for long.

I just want to note how much nicer it is to do a task, such as boiling down sap, when I have to pull out equipment that I use once every two years, and it is not hard to find or to extract from the storage place and not really dirty after being in storage.  Sweet bonus for de-cluttering.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4864 on: March 14, 2021, 11:52:35 AM »
Went thru all my stamps for stamping and packed up a bunch to sell  and it that is a fail - then donate.  Many for mid 1990's - guess they are vintage now. :)

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4865 on: March 14, 2021, 12:17:45 PM »
Lord williní a lady is coming to pick up a lamp that my ungrateful cat is always knocking over.

This week I am thrifting some painful shoes and slippers and ordering new models that hopefully wonít inflame my aggravated hammertoe.

oneday

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4866 on: March 14, 2021, 06:02:38 PM »
Sold another furniture piece today.  It was something I liked and didn't necessarily want to get rid of, but for the last 15 years, its function has been "to take up space", and I no longer need things that take up space.  And not worth disassembling and storing either.

Good for you, finally recognizing this!


I just want to note how much nicer it is to do a task, such as boiling down sap, when I have to pull out equipment that I use once every two years, and it is not hard to find or to extract from the storage place and not really dirty after being in storage.  Sweet bonus for de-cluttering.

You're living the dream, @Frugal Lizard

Great discussion question, @MayDay !

I'm making a renewed effort at paperwork sorting and tossing. Always room for improvement there! Got a bit done over the last few days.



Today, walked with BF to the little free library where he exchanged several books. While the quantity of books remains constant, at least these books will be useful. The other ones were door stops to us. I'm taking credit for reminding him to bring the books.

So far, have kept up on entering receipts into YNAB the same day the purchases were made, and have been able to keep up with the mail. The back log is still there, but at least not growing.

One of the books from the little free library turned out to be not what he expected, so that will go back to the lfl on the next walk.

Craigslisted two floor lamps today!

And identified four things to attempt to sell. 🤞

halftimer

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4867 on: March 14, 2021, 07:11:53 PM »
Gave away 8 items this week, mostly clothing and similar that were in good condition but not exciting enough to sell. A family member mentioned they needed some more work shirts, and I quickly offered them some options and we were both happy that the sizes were good and out they headed.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4868 on: March 15, 2021, 08:27:22 AM »
I'm actually halting any de-cluttering and am temporarily in re-cluttering (?) mode.  There's a big garage sale set for mid-May to raise money for a local charity, so I'm keeping what I think will sell, e.g., kids board games, costume jewelry, kitchen items, etc., and setting it aside in my garage until it's time. 

I have no problem holding on to things like this if there's a definite date for it all to be out of the house.

meadow lark

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4869 on: March 15, 2021, 12:11:13 PM »
Dropped off a completely full hatchback of clothes, Christmas stuff, and books at a thrift store.
Finally took the Kaboom automatic toilet cleaner (love those!) off my kitchen counter and to my wifeís store and installed it.
Discovered an antler in my back seat (under the clutter) that has probably been there since we evacuated from Hurricane Laura in August.  Daisy June Dagger Paws is enjoying trying to make it disappear.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2021, 12:13:55 PM by meadow lark »

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4870 on: March 15, 2021, 03:30:35 PM »
Daisy looks just like my next door neighbourís dog.  Sheís a digger too.  By the way, vets hate antlers - they break dogsí teeth.

Iím working on a new pile of stuff to donate/sell.  Tomorrow a bag of clothes and 2 pictures go to the thrift store, a couple of tops to the neighbour, and so far Iíve found 7 nice glass jars to sell.  Theyíve been sitting around far too long and now that I have finger and wrist problems, are too hard for me to open.  Also, a riding helmet to sell.  Iím expecting to find more stuff in the next few weeks.

meadow lark

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4871 on: March 15, 2021, 08:12:07 PM »
Oh no! So frustrating trying to find long lasting chewies that she wants to play with that arenít dangerous.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2021, 08:13:56 PM by meadow lark »

SunnyDays

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4872 on: March 15, 2021, 09:06:04 PM »
Oh no! So frustrating trying to find long lasting chewies that she wants to play with that arenít dangerous.

Try Duvoplus Rubber Mint Bone.  Itís a slightly bendy rubber, very dense with some weight to it, with a mint taste and holes for peanut butter etc.  Itís impossible for a dog to tear a piece off.  Comes in 3 sizes and different colours.  I got mine at Petvalu.  Totally safe.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2021, 09:02:01 AM by SunnyDays »

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4873 on: March 16, 2021, 05:17:12 AM »
I'm trying to re-read a few books to see if I still want them. Just finished one and I'll be leaving it in the bookshelf at the holiday place I'm at. Too easy!

meadow lark

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4874 on: March 16, 2021, 11:30:50 AM »
Sunny days, Iíll put that on my list of things to try.  Thanks!

oneday

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4875 on: March 16, 2021, 11:39:05 PM »
Reminded BF to take the book to the little free library on his way out the door. It counts!

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4876 on: March 17, 2021, 07:32:30 AM »
Sold two things yesterday that I had been previously stood up for multiple times.  Yay!  One person even paid me $5 more than the asking price, with no comment about overpaying.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4877 on: March 17, 2021, 07:48:43 AM »
Sold some baby toys yesterday.  Gave the money to DS, who promptly bought more stuff.  At least he bought smaller stuff than what went out the door.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4878 on: March 19, 2021, 05:22:33 AM »
Finally got the high chair out the house. End of an era.

Funny thing, I tried to give it away for free and nobody was interested, so I put it for sale for $5 on the local virtual yard sale and had tons of interest.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4879 on: March 19, 2021, 04:13:57 PM »
Sold 3 skincare samples (birchbox subscription I was gifted). Out of the house
Also, returned cleats that didn't fit my teen. I was really lazy & didn't feel like going in person to the stores. Done. Items we don't need out the  house, with the bonus of money back

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4880 on: March 20, 2021, 06:16:24 AM »
We decluttered 4 boxes of tile from the basement workshop onto the kitchen wall! One small box of extra remains in storage in case of breakage.

Today I am going to go through a few closets and cull a small volume of items. We don't have any large areas at this point, it's just the continually sweeps over time as things accumulate.

I asked on the last page if anyone had changed the habits that got them into this mess..... I found it humorous that every response was along the lines of "well you see I personally do not actually have a problem" lolol. I will fully admit I need to do better!  For me it is a combo of anxiety around stuff (too much stuff that is!) and interest in "improving" things, ie decor, my wardrobe, and having the money to just go buy whatever is of interest and not need to really shop around and save and make sure I really want it. Like for our new puppy- I just buy her whatever toys or treats or whatnot that I want to try, and then inevitably some don't work out and need to be re-homed.

This weekend I am thinking I will tackle a sweep of the garage, the hall closet, and my closet. The garage had it's hanging shelves taken down for the upcoming electrical project. so now that stuff needs to be reorganized (or gotten rid of). The hall closet has a lot of misc linens and towels that we probably won't ever really need. And at work I keep getting gifts of branded merchandise, so I can just donate some of the older ones I never wear, as it seems unlikely I'll ever need 6 work shirts (we normally wear business casual and the branded shirts are worn fairly rarely).

Happy weekend everyone!

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4881 on: March 20, 2021, 03:31:17 PM »
@MayDay - I think there's quite a gap between hoarder, and continually focused on getting rid of things. I find that it's a daily task, and like laundry, your work is never done. I spend more time on decluttering & organization than most people I know, but I also enjoy it & I'd define our house is pretty streamlined (as much as you can be with kids at home). But, I also have hot button areas that are way less organized than others, and my husband does not share my school of thought on clutter. At all. At all. So, we're a bit of a push & pull.

As for today, I sold a pair of new shin guard sleeves (my kids wear the shin guards directly in the socks), & a under shirt my husband bought & didn't like. Junk out of the house, money in.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4882 on: March 20, 2021, 05:58:02 PM »
Relisted a wooden end table with built in drawers on top, on Craigslist. Last time I got a two inquiries about it, but no interest in buying.

Also picked out 60 old utility bills from the pile for recycling. 

Rummaged through the greeting card supply and found a nice thank you card to send to my sister-in-law.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4883 on: March 20, 2021, 06:51:14 PM »
Thinking about MayDay's question, I think it can be hard to answer because of the assumptions made in the question. The habits that got me here?
- One would be buying books that were not available in the library, that I read and traded with friends and were part of my social community. My interests moved on and I no longer want to carry them around. So is the habit I need to discard buying books? Outgrowing hobbies?
- My other area is clothes, again I buy things when either an item wears out, or is about to, or my style changes. Is the habit I should discard entropy and fabric being an ephemeral material? Or should I keep wearing clothes that no longer reflect who I am? Sure, I could theoretically learn to not care about the opinion of strangers but *I* also don't like to wear ill-fitting/worn-out clothing that makes me feel bad.

Today, I am putting a wool cardigan that is itchy in the donation box.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4884 on: March 20, 2021, 07:38:46 PM »
I asked on the last page if anyone had changed the habits that got them into this mess..... I found it humorous that every response was along the lines of "well you see I personally do not actually have a problem" lolol. I will fully admit I need to do better!  For me it is a combo of anxiety around stuff (too much stuff that is!) and interest in "improving" things, ie decor, my wardrobe, and having the money to just go buy whatever is of interest and not need to really shop around and save and make sure I really want it. Like for our new puppy- I just buy her whatever toys or treats or whatnot that I want to try, and then inevitably some don't work out and need to be re-homed.

Part of this is likely that self reflection is hard. And change is even harder. The people who really need to do that reflection and make fundamental changes are thus less likely to do so. There's been a handful of people on this thread at one point or another who I really thought needed help dealing with underlying problems which lead to them getting too much stuff, or inabilities in getting rid of it. Each has been extremely resistant to the idea that they have a problem.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4885 on: March 21, 2021, 09:11:27 AM »
I think the thing most of us could work with is the incoming stuff. I have stopped accepting stuff that I donít have a use of. Corporate gifts that I know I will not use will not enter my apartment. Conference gift bags are not accepted etc.

It drives me crazy when my parents show some random crap that they have gotten from their employer and it is stuffed in some cupboard or when they donít get rid of stuff they donít use anymore because it is a gift from x.

@Sun Hat I took some help from a professional to identify which kind of styles fit my body type. That have helped with shopping and today I can dismiss about 90 % of the clothes in a store by a glance. I also buy most of my stuff online. I also promised myself that I would not use any clothes I would not use outside of my home in my home. In other words even though I walk around with yoga pants and/or some other fitness clothes I am not going to wear something I would not wear in a gym.

This has actually allowed me to downsize my wardrobe because everything fits and is mostly matchable.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4886 on: March 21, 2021, 09:53:21 AM »
For me, I fixed the habits before I started the decluttering process.  I was never a hoarder, but was a typical consumer so had a lot of stuff coming into the house.

1. Started using the library and Open Library, and only buying books that either a) aren't available, in which case I donate them when I'm done, or b) I already know I will want to reread many times.
2. Stopped impulse buying things, especially clothes.  Frugality is great for preventing new clutter coming in.
3. Started saying no when people offer me things for free, especially my mom.

The actual decluttering process is almost an afterthought.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4887 on: March 21, 2021, 11:05:21 AM »
I certainly have a problem with clothes. Not so much in the volume that I have in the house, but in how I buy it. I have anxiety issues  and low self-esteem, so I buy all of my clothes online and tell myself that I don't care that they're ill-fitting. Then, when I look like a slob, I don't take care of my clothes, and end up ruining the sloppy clothes and then discarding them when they're too bad for even me to wear out of the house. It ends up churning through a lot of clothes, but changing the pattern would require hard emotional work, so it's easier to go online and buy myself a new wardrobe for $100.

People tend not to post such things because 1) it's a downer, and 2) problematic behaviours usually hide uncomfortable feelings


Have you ever seen the "What Not to Wear" TV series with Stacy London and Clinton Kelly?  People are "turned in" by friends and relatives who are appalled at their clothing choices and then re-dressed by the hosts.  The people learn why they dress the way they do, what actually suits them, how to identify clothing that works for them etc.  It sounds shallow but actually gives the people some insight into their overall psychology and they tend to feel a lot differently about themselves by the end.  I found it really interesting.  In your situation, it sounds like your clothes buying methods are perpetuating your low self esteem.  Maybe it's time to try something different?

MaybeBabyMustache

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4888 on: March 21, 2021, 01:10:06 PM »
For me, I fixed the habits before I started the decluttering process.  I was never a hoarder, but was a typical consumer so had a lot of stuff coming into the house.

1. Started using the library and Open Library, and only buying books that either a) aren't available, in which case I donate them when I'm done, or b) I already know I will want to reread many times.
2. Stopped impulse buying things, especially clothes.  Frugality is great for preventing new clutter coming in.
3. Started saying no when people offer me things for free, especially my mom.

The actual decluttering process is almost an afterthought.

That's a good way to put it, and I've done something similar.

As for today, sold a dress that's too big. Will get that packaged up & into the mail drop box.

SunnyDays

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4889 on: March 21, 2021, 05:07:31 PM »
I certainly have a problem with clothes. Not so much in the volume that I have in the house, but in how I buy it. I have anxiety issues  and low self-esteem, so I buy all of my clothes online and tell myself that I don't care that they're ill-fitting. Then, when I look like a slob, I don't take care of my clothes, and end up ruining the sloppy clothes and then discarding them when they're too bad for even me to wear out of the house. It ends up churning through a lot of clothes, but changing the pattern would require hard emotional work, so it's easier to go online and buy myself a new wardrobe for $100.

People tend not to post such things because 1) it's a downer, and 2) problematic behaviours usually hide uncomfortable feelings


Have you ever seen the "What Not to Wear" TV series with Stacy London and Clinton Kelly?  People are "turned in" by friends and relatives who are appalled at their clothing choices and then re-dressed by the hosts.  The people learn why they dress the way they do, what actually suits them, how to identify clothing that works for them etc.  It sounds shallow but actually gives the people some insight into their overall psychology and they tend to feel a lot differently about themselves by the end.  I found it really interesting.  In your situation, it sounds like your clothes buying methods are perpetuating your low self esteem.  Maybe it's time to try something different?

I used to love that show! Is it still on? I need that kind of intervention. I certainly need to try something different because dog-hair covered sweats aren't sparking joy.

On the non-clothes clutter front I'm doing great though, having parted with the last of my votive holders and throw cushions last week.

No, itís not on anymore, but maybe itís worth it for you to try to rematch online?

I know what you mean about dog hair covered sweats because thatís what Iím wearing right now!  Other than the yard though, I donít wear them out in public.

Casual clothes can still look nice if they fit well and have some shape to them.  A strategy Iíve found useful is to go to a thrift store and try on lots of things to find brands that do fit nicely, then buy the same thing new.  It saves guess work and running from store to store.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4890 on: March 21, 2021, 07:55:41 PM »
Thinking about MayDay's question, I think it can be hard to answer because of the assumptions made in the question. The habits that got me here?

+1

I'm done with my "habit" of procreation, so I guess there's that...  Some things you collect for a stage of life and then you release when done.  They're not a habit that needs to be fixed.  For example, I'm looking forward to getting rid of breastfeeding supply items when I wean in a month (e.g. 1 pump from each, bottles, nursing pillows, breastmilk storage bags and freezer container), but I wouldn't say I should have changed the "habit" of feeding my kids!

Likewise, we'll pass on toys as my daughter outgrows them.  I'm happy to move, on but I don't regret bringing them into the house (98% gifts or hand-me-downs).  I also wouldn't have chosen to say no to more of the hand-me-downs (even those we haven't used so much), because once you start saying no, people stop offering and we've saved SO MUCH by using 2nd hand items, everything from cribs to strollers to clothes to smaller items like nursing pillows and toys. 

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4891 on: March 21, 2021, 10:54:49 PM »
I absolutely have a problem with paper, @MayDay. I've been able to put some rules in place to help sort through the stack, but the basic problem is I don't wanna adult, when it comes to paperwork. So dang boring! And I haven't been able to dislodge that attitude. Ultimately, I continue to pick at the problem and maybe someday I'll accept the drudgery as part of my life. It's happened in other areas.



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LinneaH

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4892 on: March 22, 2021, 02:40:51 AM »
Well, since last year I am done with my "habit" of my ex... that took care of a lot of shit :-D.

To be fair, not all of the clutter was his (by far) but we never got to the bottom of stuff. He didn't want to and he didn't want to do his share of housework and family responsibilities, so I was often too tired and did not have the energy to take care of it all.

However, I do think that a lot of my problem is not "habits" but "history", I had a lot of stuff from teenage/early twenties and from what I have inherited from grandparents. I have never had anything like a shopping addiction, more "cannot get rid of sentimental stuff". I am now almost 50, I don't buy a lot of stuff, so there has been more going out than coming in for several years. Also, in the last few years, I have managed to let go of a lot of sentimental things, that didn't really mean that much to me, which meant that my moving and down-sizing last year was pretty smooth.

So yes, I have changed my habits, but my problem was always "keeping", not so much "acquiring".
I am making sure that I am aware how much I have changed and how much my life has changed, and that I try to remember how much stuff I had and how that impacted me.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4893 on: March 22, 2021, 09:56:24 AM »
Chipping away here. Spent 2 hours rifling through bags of old paperwork from the computer room.  A bit more floor space opened up, which is good for morale, since a lot of my decluttering lately has been from inside storage containers. The clutter is gone but the containers remain (for now).

Was able to cull 5 pounds of it and it is currently on the curb awaiting the recycling truck's arrival.

LinneaH,  similar situation here with inheriting stuff. My girlfriend was a getter and keeper of stuff.  She is gone now, but her stuff remains and I am slowly decluttering it. I am a keeper, so it is kind of a struggle to get rid of it. It's always the last thing on my list of things to do, but I occasionally devote time to it, and as noted, am chipping away.

Too be fair, a big chunk (10%) of the clutter is my stuff, not hers.       

NotJen

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4894 on: March 22, 2021, 03:33:22 PM »
Finally sold my kayak today.  After getting stood up on Saturday, the buyer eventually made it out today.  I was a little upset because I had come home specifically for the pickup on Sat night, but I let her get it today without being bitchy about it since I was home anyway.  One less thing to worry about now!

I'm about a week out from trying to sell most of my good furniture.  Waiting for inspection results to come in for the home sale before believing I really have to be out of here in 17 days.

I asked on the last page if anyone had changed the habits that got them into this mess..... I found it humorous that every response was along the lines of "well you see I personally do not actually have a problem"

That's how I was going to reply!  I truly don't think I have a problem with incoming items.  I stopped shopping for fun a long time ago (if I ever actually shopped for fun - more out of boredom).  I'm totally fine "shopping" with friends and not making any purchases.  Most incoming items are replacements for previous purchases, and new items are carefully considered.  It was a change made long ago, and I think a lot of it has to do with getting older and knowing myself better.

And I don't consider my personal situation to be a mess.  My problem is living in the same house for 15 years, and having 2000+ sq ft for one person.  There are so many places to put things and never think about them again!  Even with unused items in my cabinets, they still aren't full or cluttered!  I started getting rid of things a couple of years ago because I knew that I eventually wanted to sell my house, getting more serious now that it's imminent.  I like posting here about the emotional attachment I have to some things, which helps me release that attachment.

One big recent change is to let myself get rid of gifts I don't want as soon as I get them.  I used to hang on to stuff I didn't want because someone had given it to me, and I could possibly regift it at some point, or maybe eventually will use it.  But I definitely don't want to move with that crap, so out it goes, no guilt attached.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4895 on: March 22, 2021, 06:41:57 PM »
My trash can is actually full this week. Wow. Of course, I missed taking the trash out last week, so that doesn't help.

Threw out an old litterbox. I don't need 3 boxes with just Arwen, and the 2 I kept have an extra wide lip that results in the mess not getting under the box when Arwen misses (usually on purpose, she's been upset lately). Much easier to clean up.

Finally got around to fixing the dryer vent, it got smashed off when all the snow & ice melted and an ice shelf came crashing down. Tossed the old one, removed the clutter of the new one.

Two boxes of old family pictures and related stuff in the car to drop at my aunts house tomorrow. Her problem.

Organized some stuff that came from my parents house that can't go on the truck, that is all out of the way. Will eventually leave the house whenever they get a new place. There is more coming, and then my parents and their cats too at some point.

Took down and put away the Christmas lights. Kinda sad now, they were pretty.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4896 on: March 23, 2021, 02:06:17 AM »
Just sent my son to school carrying 6 extra books for the free library at school. Will do this every day this week until the full box that I have is empty (poor kiddo......). 

Sold an unused school backpack this weekend.

My daughter finally went through all her "crafts" which she made during age 2-4 (she is 13 now). She decided to keep only 3 things. The rest of the box could be trashed! So proud of her.

Husband bought new audio equipment (first time in >20 years). Now we have to get rid of the old ones. Let's see if I can Craigslist them this week and get them out of the house.

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4897 on: March 23, 2021, 09:45:22 AM »
In the past month:
Made $1600 from old tech items on Ebay- after fees and shipping!
Sold $27 of misc on craigslist over 3 listings, listed intentionally cheap.
Gave away 3 free listings on craigslist including an old scrap microwave

And last night I got rid of more clutter!
Recycled a large box for my desk monitor mounting arm, and moved the instructions, tools, and different bolt sizes into a much smaller box for future use. It doesn't need the full packaging for the next time we move! I can put the bolts in the small box, and just carry the arm itself.
Recycled 2 other boxes that were just sitting in the basement
Recycled old papers
Put some tech and old kid stuff in the donate box
listed a bunch of unused woodworking parts really cheap on craigslist, plus some tech. I currently have 9 active listings! I put a temporary shelf up as a staging area for sorting, selling, or recycling.
Threw away some old "maybe useful" items nobody would want.

I am really working on the "this could be useful someday" issue- even if my house isn't filled, the cost to replace doesn't outweigh the mental drag of piles in the basement. Plus, with this much UNSORTED "useful" crap, I would never find it when needed. I will keep useful items and tools, but need them all to be properly sorted and categorized to be worth keeping. Eventually I want a food pantry, and a "stuff" pantry, with nothing stored that doesn't have a dedicated "space", and with an organizational scheme to make it easy to find things. If I can't fit spare parts or assorted tools in there, to someone or somewhere else they need to go.
« Last Edit: March 23, 2021, 09:48:00 AM by innkeeper77 »

LinneaH

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4898 on: March 23, 2021, 11:11:52 AM »
LinneaH,  similar situation here with inheriting stuff. My girlfriend was a getter and keeper of stuff.  She is gone now, but her stuff remains and I am slowly decluttering it. I am a keeper, so it is kind of a struggle to get rid of it. It's always the last thing on my list of things to do, but I occasionally devote time to it, and as noted, am chipping away.

Too be fair, a big chunk (10%) of the clutter is my stuff, not hers.     

@slackmax, yes I have seen the hard work you are doing, good job!
I have actually moved on a bit from being a keeper, towards minimalism (absolutely not there yet, but going there in some areas). I used to be very sentimental, and that has changed, even so that a very close friend said a couple of years ago "I can't believe how you can be so non-sentimental". I  believe this is due to a combination of several moves, personal development in general and a lot of Youtube-watching (decluttering and Minimalism)  + also reading and agreeeing w/KonMari - keep only what sparks joy. Also helps that I am pretty non-conventional.

I wish you a continued good decluttering!

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Re: Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2
« Reply #4899 on: March 23, 2021, 12:02:47 PM »
Lately I've been trying keep unwanted email clutter at bay.  I get lots of emails from places I have a relationship with, but I usually just delete the email after I read the subject.  I'm making sure to actually open these emails and unsubscribe.  It's really hard, because my automatic reaction is to just delete!  I'll be living away from home with limited internet access over the summer, so keeping junk email to a minimum will be important.

I also finally signed up for paperless statements for all my credit cards and bills last month.  I used to like the physical reminder so that I don't miss anything, but realistically, it's an overwhelming amount of mail that I truly don't need.  Since I switched over, I've definitely noticed the lack of mail, which is good.