I'm on my own, for the first time in a decade. Mrs Butterfingers has taken Firstborn and Lastborn off to her natal land for two months. I'm going to join them for the last two weeks of that, so it means I have six weeks to myself here.
In a former life that would have meant pizza, beer, books, marathons of
The Wire and
Civilization. But Butterfingers is older, wiser, and stronger-willed than in those dark days. OK, maybe just older, but intending to do something about the other two too.
So, the reading can stay, and there's nothing wrong with the
occasional beer, but everything else is
strengst verboten. The challenge: use these six weeks to turn Butterfingers into an adult. Tame the
Instant Gratification Monkey (more like a gorilla in my case). And hopefully save some money as a side effect.
Behold, the Ten Commandments of the Revolution:
1. Thou shalt not buy fuel.The car has three quarters of a tank, and that will have to do me for the duration.
2. Thou shalt cycle to work every day.Come rain or shine.
3. Thou shalt study.I'm doing a professional qualification that is critical to future earning power. 15 hours a week, bare fucking minimum.
4. Thou shalt work on thy side hustle.Publishing project that generates very little at the moment, but has potential. 10 hours a week.
5. Though shalt engage Beast Mode at work.No more dicking around on the internet (ahem, MMM). Get shit done to the extent that even that one miserable misanthropic bloke downstairs thinks, "bugger me, that Butterfingers really can get shit done."
6. Thou shalt wean thyself off sugar, for it is a tool of the Devil.What am I, 6 years old?
7. Thou shalt lose 12 pounds.It's a start.
8. Thou shalt prepare thine own midday repast and not succumb to the lure of the Meal Deal.No excuses.
9. Thou shalt eat thy way through fridge, freezer and cupboards before buying more food.When I do buy more food, make sure it's actually
real food.
10. Thou shalt spend no more than £200 for food, entertainment, shopping; everything discretionary.For six weeks. If I can stick to this, I'll allow myself to splurge £50 on books while I'm away.
This does not mean no fun. I'm going to the Big Smoke next weekend to see my brother (train tickets purchased prior to the Revolution). Beer will be consumed, laughs will be had. He's then coming to me a few weekends later. More beer will be consumed, more laughs will be had. A couple of colleagues have leaving/birthday drinks. Beer will be ... you get the picture. And I will have time to read again. For pleasure! Bliss.
You, faithful readers, are my Stern Matrons of Observance. Keep me on the straight and narrow, Mustachians!
TL;DR: Butterfingers has six weeks to himself. He will use this time to get his shit together and start behaving like a grown-up.