Thank you Hertz, your terrible customer service has made me a better mustachian!
After stranding me at a small airport (no cab and no other rental car services) in the middle of the night 10+ miles from my hotel, I was lucky to catch up with a fellow traveler to receive a ride. In the morning after 5+ calls to multiple Hertz sites/representatives and being put off by them for over an hour I learned that i'd be put in a cue to be picked up in 2-3 hours. I told them to forget it, i'd not be requiring their service (ever again) and instead walked the 4 miles to the office.
Thank you Hertz for reminding me that my legs still work. It felt good to have the mustachian sense of self reliance to be able to tell Hertz they were no longer needed.