Author Topic: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)  (Read 6242 times)

Trudie

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Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« on: September 06, 2020, 11:05:18 AM »
We're fired and in the two comma club  a few times over and also have no debts.  House is paid off.   I was just thinking about the simple pleasures I've enjoyed while thinking, " If people really knew..." I'm content with the freedom that comes from stealth wealth and am challenging others to put stories or examples here. 

Here are my top 5:
1.  Driving a car with 105k on it that's 13 years old.  Taking the bus (in non-pandemic times).
2.  Soaking my own beans.
3.  Buying cool stuff at thrift and having people say "that's neat" and saying, "Yeah, I got it at Goodwill."
4.  Using the library, generously.
5.  Buying over half of my clothes (the fancy ones) at thrift stores and the other half at Costco.

lcmac32

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2020, 12:09:52 PM »
I really appreciate your story.  I am not there yet, but know that I could easily go into complete stealth mode.  I don't care if someone knows, but have no intention of showing it off.  There really is no need.

clarkfan1979

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2020, 02:18:38 PM »
I am a big fan of stealth wealth, especially went visiting my rentals. I drive a 2007 Pontiac Vibe with 165,000 miles. If I arrived on scene with a 100K Mercedes, I think my tenants wouldn't be as timely on paying the rent.

iris lily

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2020, 02:22:21 PM »
We're fired and in the two comma club  a few times over and also have no debts.  House is paid off.   I was just thinking about the simple pleasures I've enjoyed while thinking, " If people really knew..." I'm content with the freedom that comes from stealth wealth and am challenging others to put stories or examples here. 

Here are my top 5:
1.  Driving a car with 105k on it that's 13 years old.  Taking the bus (in non-pandemic times).
2.  Soaking my own beans.
3.  Buying cool stuff at thrift and having people say "that's neat" and saying, "Yeah, I got it at Goodwill."
4.  Using the library, generously.
5.  Buying over half of my clothes (the fancy ones) at thrift stores and the other half at Costco.
So you only  soak your own beans?! Girlfriend, we GROW our own, and shell Ďem. Hahaha!!!   The shelling is a p.i. t.a

I do everything on your list only our daily driver cars are only 11 years old but much lower mileage because we dont drive too much.
« Last Edit: September 10, 2020, 02:24:26 PM by iris lily »

secondcor521

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2020, 03:58:10 PM »
Tomorrow I may walk about 3.5 miles to the airport to save myself the $12.78 Uber.  Takes about an hour, but is nice exercise and fresh air.

I would drive my 187K 1993 sedan, but it's not available to me tomorrow for reasons.
« Last Edit: September 10, 2020, 04:00:02 PM by secondcor521 »

ducky19

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2020, 08:19:04 AM »
I am a big fan of stealth wealth, especially went visiting my rentals. I drive a 2007 Pontiac Vibe with 165,000 miles. If I arrived on scene with a 100K Mercedes, I think my tenants wouldn't be as timely on paying the rent.

Ha! Likewise with the 2007 Vibe (although mine has 183k miles...). Thankfully we have good tenants in both of our rentals, but I do always drive my car when visiting our rentals.

ixtap

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2020, 10:29:38 AM »
To me, it isn't the frugal things we do that make it stealth wealth - I did most of those things when I was scraping by, when I was starting to thrive and just carry on through.

It is people's assumptions and reactions. Especially those moment that you want to say something, but it would either be judgmental or completely out yourself.

People who think we don't have any skin in the game when it comes to taxes. Because who would have a high net worth/income and choose to drive an older car or have a roommate, much less both?!

Relatives who say "it must be nice not to have car payments," but they update their car every other year.

People who can't get their head around the dichotomy between the luxury of a boat big enough to live on and the sadness of "having" to live on a boat. We must have finally dug ourselves out of a hole when we started renting a condo, too, how exciting. Uh, no, and it seems rather insensitive to suggest that landlubbing would be a move up in the world when everyone knows I love my boat.

When someone with a more luxurious lifestyle than you says "we can't afford X" and you respond with "we choose not to spend on that." Very borderline, but most people do seem to take it as a lesson in gratitude, rather than a brag.

When someone with an upper middle class lifestyle makes comments about how the other half lives and they mean richer people, not literally the other side of the median.  Oh, I'm sorry, when you started with that, I thought this was going to be a conversation about inequality or gratitude, not a screed against the .1%.


SwordGuy

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2020, 11:41:22 AM »
When someone with an upper middle class lifestyle makes comments about how the other half lives and they mean richer people, not literally the other side of the median.  Oh, I'm sorry, when you started with that, I thought this was going to be a conversation about inequality or gratitude, not a screed against the .1%.

Was nodding in agreement up until this.

Complaining about the 0.1% and a conversation about inequality aren't mutually exclusive.   In fact, most of the people I know ( including me) who discuss the 0.1% are discussing inequality...

ixtap

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2020, 11:55:15 AM »
When someone with an upper middle class lifestyle makes comments about how the other half lives and they mean richer people, not literally the other side of the median.  Oh, I'm sorry, when you started with that, I thought this was going to be a conversation about inequality or gratitude, not a screed against the .1%.

Was nodding in agreement up until this.

Complaining about the 0.1% and a conversation about inequality aren't mutually exclusive.   In fact, most of the people I know ( including me) who discuss the 0.1% are discussing inequality...

The ones I am referring to are just expressing jealousy about being able to buy more or better things. These are the property gospel types, not folks who think anyone at the top has too much. Except Soros, of course. He is the exception that proves to rule. Screed was probably the wrong word, but it is definitely a tone of jealousy I am referring to, a desire to be one of those and frustration at the taxes keeping one from being that rich
« Last Edit: September 11, 2020, 12:02:57 PM by ixtap »

bbqbonelesswing

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2020, 02:02:27 PM »
3.  Buying cool stuff at thrift and having people say "that's neat" and saying, "Yeah, I got it at Goodwill."

You can get good stuff at Goodwill! Although we can afford not to, we get almost all of our clothes there. We wear a lot of nice name-brand stuff and guess what, it's all second-hand. Why pay full retail?

charis

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2020, 02:22:46 PM »
I've had a few awkward conversations with friends who assume we are hurting for money (old cars, thrift/consignment shopping, public schools, "starter" home). For instance a friend worriedly asked me if we would be able to pay off the 0% credit card I mentioned getting for a home renovation within the year required.  I can only imagine the look on my face when I tried to figure how to respond appropriately.  Technically, I got the card because I want to max our IRAs for the year on Jan. 1, but I knew that would sound insane to this particular person.

We do very well at goodwill, most new or like new brand names and only brand new shoes.

ilsy

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2020, 11:22:27 PM »
1. My tenants have no idea that all my rentals are free and clear (would be very hard to get the rent if they knew). In fact, very few people actually do know that.

2. My neighbors believe that I'm a hardworking poor single mom, who cannot afford to pay services (they all use) to mow my huge lawn, or shovel the driveway. I just think that it's a great way to exercise.

3. My co-workers have no idea that I don't really need to work. One time we got really comfortable with each other and started sharing our FICO scores. My 838 turned some heads, but I quickly explained that it's because I have many CCs and very small balance, and assured that if they applied to more CCs their score will go up too, eventually. I didn't elaborate that I get on average 5 new CC every year just because I cannot pass on the sign up bonuses, get approved to all of them and then sell as TLs. None of them knows how much I make by selling TLs (well, no one talks about TLs anyways). None of them realize that I can buy a brand new car with cash, but I would rather buy another rental that I can renovate and add to the portfolio.

4. I buy second-hand clothes because it's a sure way to know how clothes would look like after the laundry.

5. I grow my own tomatoes.

2sk22

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2020, 07:41:17 AM »
AS luck would have it, I was listening to the latest Mad Fientist podcast which is an interview with Morgan Housel. Housel made a great point that spending is visible but wealth is hidden. Highly recommend listening to this interview.

SwordGuy

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2020, 03:00:14 PM »
I was driving a 14 year old car that had been totaled by hail damage, and my wife was driving a 9 year old car (totaled in the same hail storm) with the side stove in because she misjudged where a pole was in a parking lot when we hit the double-comma club.  At that point we owned four houses (3 rentals), all fully paid for.


brooklynmoney

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2020, 08:25:48 PM »
Until this year I never owned a car and took the bus or subway or train or mostly walked. Just because I have a lot of financial assets doesnít mean Iím too good for the bus.

MasterStache

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #15 on: September 13, 2020, 06:22:22 AM »
Until this year I never owned a car and took the bus or subway or train or mostly walked. Just because I have a lot of financial assets doesnít mean Iím too good for the bus.
Or a bike ( :

waltworks

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #16 on: September 13, 2020, 11:47:59 AM »
I'm unclear on something - are we bragging about not spending money on things, though we could? Because that's only really worthwhile if you truly enjoy growing your own beans, or sewing your own clothes, or whatever. If you're doing it because you just can't bring yourself to spend money because spending money is just too painful, then you're really just stuck in some kind of awful poverty mindset and that sucks.

The point of money is to use it as the tool it is to make your life (and the lives of others) better/happier in a reasonably efficient way. Not to have a ton of it and not spend it to prove how frugal you are.

-W

Malcat

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #17 on: September 13, 2020, 01:32:59 PM »
We live much, much more modestly than our peer group with similar incomes, but it's easy to estimate what we make based on our jobs, so there's no stealth here.

People don't assume we're not wealthy, they assume we're bloody weird.

brooklynmoney

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #18 on: September 13, 2020, 03:24:17 PM »
Until this year I never owned a car and took the bus or subway or train or mostly walked. Just because I have a lot of financial assets doesnít mean Iím too good for the bus.
Or a bike ( :

too scared. Everyone i know who rides a bike has been hit by a car in Brooklyn/Manhattan. See the verb: doored. Although then again almost everyone in my former running club has also been hit by a car haha.

frogstomp81

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #19 on: September 13, 2020, 04:16:41 PM »
My wife enjoys picking up usable items from the curb that people are throwing away. She got me to grab a floor lamp from our neighbors trash they had put out. I thought the neighbors were gone, but was unaware of their ring doorbell... he texted me later that day to tell me the switch on the lamp was broken... Anyhow we used the lamp anyway by plugging it into a switched outlet. Ever since then they've been giving us all kinds of hand-me-downs. We have no debt other than our house and are well on our way to being FIRE as we hit the 2 comma club this year.

waltworks

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #20 on: September 13, 2020, 06:51:21 PM »
We were debatably 2-comma people (depends on if you count the house) when we trash-picked a broken dog crate (the fabric kind, not metal) for our then 1 year old to sleep in to prevent her from getting up and destroying the house in the nighttime. She slept in the dog crate for over a year.

I have difficulty not taking piles of food home from the town Christian Center where my family volunteers because the director thinks we're destitute due to us taking the bus/riding bikes and wearing secondhand clothes (in my case, with lots of holes burned in them from welding mishaps).

I have been, several times, been mistaken for a homeless person... BY A HOMELESS PERSON.

Beat that.

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #21 on: September 14, 2020, 07:54:00 AM »
Until this year I never owned a car and took the bus or subway or train or mostly walked. Just because I have a lot of financial assets doesnít mean Iím too good for the bus.
Or a bike ( :

too scared. Everyone i know who rides a bike has been hit by a car in Brooklyn/Manhattan. See the verb: doored. Although then again almost everyone in my former running club has also been hit by a car haha.

I'm terrified to ride a bike for this reason too. My husband was hit by a car that ran a red light.  He was lucky it was a car and he bounced over the roof and not an SUV that would have gone over him. The resulting damage to his ankle means we will probably have to move when we get older because the cold weather is so painful.

Now he won't pull a trailer with our kids. And he's someone whose life has revolved around bikes- mountain biking, road racing, time trials.  He doesn't think streets are safe. 

(He does still occasionally ride his bike to work, but it's had to phase out with the need to occasionally take the kids to daycare and be available for an emergency pickup.  It scares me every single time.)

joe189man

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #22 on: September 14, 2020, 08:34:06 AM »
I'm unclear on something - are we bragging about not spending money on things, though we could? Because that's only really worthwhile if you truly enjoy growing your own beans, or sewing your own clothes, or whatever. If you're doing it because you just can't bring yourself to spend money because spending money is just too painful, then you're really just stuck in some kind of awful poverty mindset and that sucks.

The point of money is to use it as the tool it is to make your life (and the lives of others) better/happier in a reasonably efficient way. Not to have a ton of it and not spend it to prove how frugal you are.

-W

This,

bmjohnson35

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #23 on: September 15, 2020, 10:02:52 AM »
 
I remember attending my first project meeting in Atlanta about 10-12 years ago.  My manager introduced me to the group and I sat down at the large table.  I always wore a technician uniform and looked more like a janitor than middle management.  I sat there and listened to the discussion. About 20 minutes into the meeting, my manager asked me to comment on the contract language being discussed. When I finished providing my input, one of the city consultants politely asked me who I was again.  It was clear he had judged me based on my appearance.  Something he never did again.

Now that I am FIRED, I certainly don't appear wealthy. All of our vehicles are older, but none of them are "beaters."  I live in shorts and flip flops most of the time.  My spouse also prefers to dress casual.  We live this way by preference. Of course, since we no longer have a traditional income, we do have to be reasonable about how we spend our money.  Our largest expense bucket by a large margin is our annual vacation spending.  We simply prefer to spend our money on traveling than on shiny new things. 


Ockhamist

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #24 on: September 15, 2020, 12:06:25 PM »
AS luck would have it, I was listening to the latest Mad Fientist podcast which is an interview with Morgan Housel. Housel made a great point that spending is visible but wealth is hidden. Highly recommend listening to this interview.

That was a great interview.   

Particularly liked the quote (not quoted 100% to the letter but basically the same):  "People say they want to have a million dollars, but what they mean is that they want to spend a million dollars."

2sk22

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #25 on: September 15, 2020, 04:06:23 PM »
That was a great interview.   

Particularly liked the quote (not quoted 100% to the letter but basically the same):  "People say they want to have a million dollars, but what they mean is that they want to spend a million dollars."

I'm reading his book The Psychology of Money that he talked about in this interview. Very relevant to this topic and a great read.

Trudie

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #26 on: September 15, 2020, 08:21:31 PM »
I think part of it is that most of us donít abandon the habits that helped us get to this point.  When you develop habits of not wanting things, you donít suddenly change your view and priorities.  Some of it is worldview also.  We live simply, yet I reflect a lot on how abundant our life feels.

Being a consumer also consumes time that I simply want to spend in other ways.  I do not enjoy going clothes shopping at all, for instance.

billy

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #27 on: September 16, 2020, 01:25:13 PM »
I think part of it is that most of us donít abandon the habits that helped us get to this point.  When you develop habits of not wanting things, you donít suddenly change your view and priorities.  Some of it is worldview also.  We live simply, yet I reflect a lot on how abundant our life feels.

Being a consumer also consumes time that I simply want to spend in other ways.  I do not enjoy going clothes shopping at all, for instance.

Yup, that's a very mustachian view.......I like it. This mustache forum is really outspoken minimalism, it's not about depreciation, just finding value   

ctuser1

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #28 on: September 16, 2020, 02:56:04 PM »
I live in a distinctly working class neighborhood in an otherwise affluent city in one of the most affluent states in the country. Most of our neighbors don't quite know (or care) where we work and what we do. Some of them have sometimes taken my help to fix their computer troubles - and they probably think I do Geek Squad or something.

Anyway, my next door neighbors, an elderly couple, regularly gives us hand-me-downs that we graciously accept and use. They also often give us loads of fruits and veggies they firm in their backyard.

They have kids older than us who are financially struggling and regularly receive generous amounts of Financial Outpatient Care from the parents. So, by extension, they also think that just like most other people in our generation, we are struggling as well and need help!! They have told me as much. I just complained how expensive everything really is, in response!!

I really appreciate the hand-me-down's that save us a lot of money and veggies that taste fantastic, however!!

I have no idea how they would respond if they knew our net-worth. Or, maybe they themselves have stealth wealth - the do seem very frugal!

One time when they gave particularly expensive Christmas gifts to our kids, I had to request them to not give so expensive things as gifts as I do not want the kids to get the wrong kind of consumerist ideas!!

Bloop Bloop

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #29 on: September 20, 2020, 11:02:45 PM »
I am a big fan of stealth wealth, especially went visiting my rentals. I drive a 2007 Pontiac Vibe with 165,000 miles. If I arrived on scene with a 100K Mercedes, I think my tenants wouldn't be as timely on paying the rent.

I think you overrate how much others care about appearances, particularly tenants who are probably more worried about having enough money to pay rent as opposed to whether they want to risk a late fee or eviction (or a nasty counter-offer next time at lease renewal time) because of spiteful non-payment. I think most tenants are decent people who wouldn't let their landlord's car affect their willingness to pay rent.


I'm unclear on something - are we bragging about not spending money on things, though we could? Because that's only really worthwhile if you truly enjoy growing your own beans, or sewing your own clothes, or whatever. If you're doing it because you just can't bring yourself to spend money because spending money is just too painful, then you're really just stuck in some kind of awful poverty mindset and that sucks.

The point of money is to use it as the tool it is to make your life (and the lives of others) better/happier in a reasonably efficient way. Not to have a ton of it and not spend it to prove how frugal you are.

-W

I think the above is a point really well made, too.

My examples of "stealth wealth" would be -

1. When I don't like a work assignment, I just unilaterally cancel it and write off the fees. I have the power to set my own rate and my own terms of work and I use that to my benefit. If I'm feeling lazy or stressed I just cancel jobs.

2. My tenants are quite decent people but if they were not, and if they were to, as mentioned above, not pay rent on time (but not so badly as to be evocable per se), I'd hike their rent beyond market rates at the next renewal and dare them to call my bluff.

3. I don't usually care about or worry about bills, or on-time payment, etc, because I know I can get most late fees waived out of goodwill and if they're not waived I don't really care about that, either.

4. More mental time and energy to relax and not worry about finances.

All of the above are invisible...and mostly undetectable...but to me that is the actual benefit of wealth. Not having to give a fuck about things you don't want to give a fuck about.

Dicey

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #30 on: September 21, 2020, 12:37:25 AM »
We were debatably 2-comma people (depends on if you count the house) when we trash-picked a broken dog crate (the fabric kind, not metal) for our then 1 year old to sleep in to prevent her from getting up and destroying the house in the nighttime. She slept in the dog crate for over a year.
-W
Love the solution you came up with. Brilliant!

soccerluvof4

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #31 on: September 21, 2020, 04:35:56 AM »
I love the term Stealth Wealth and those two words pretty much just sum it up for me. I dont talk about $ really with anybody except on here and Bogleheads and dont wear it on my sleeve for sure or buy anything flashy. Our paid for house is in HCOL enclave so its assumed everyone must have $ but how they got it is never talked about and most people around me are DYI ers. Pretty much I dont pay up to get things sooner or spontaneous hardly ever.

I buy most things on sale or really look for the best price on anything and put more thought than the younger version of me would of.

From Clothes to Cars I try to buy used because I dont have a need for fancy clothes or cars and am practical with that stuff.

Not afraid to pick something off the Curb If I can resell or use it. Couple weeks back my DW was out for a walk a couple miles a way and someone put a 1 year old (looked it up) Norditrack on the side of the road that lists for 700$ so shes using that now.

Bottom line I dont do without at all and I dont advertise that BUT, like alot of people if I can pay less for what I want why not! 


Ockhamist

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #32 on: September 21, 2020, 10:35:19 AM »
I think the thing about stealth wealth is just knowing that you are being true to your principles of not caring about conspicuous consumption.   Knowing what you need and knowing what you want and spending money on that, yay.  Spending money to impress other people or to live up to their expectations?   Boo.   Who needs that?   

My father-in-law for many years was quite clear about his disappointment in us that we didn't drive fancy enough cars.  Specifically we were supposed to drive a Cadillac, apparently.  I kind of feel bad about enjoying his annoyance ... it really bothered him, and he clearly was disappointed that his youngest daughter had run off and married some Toyota bum ... but on the other hand, being looked down on financially compared to her sisters and their husbands with their paycheck to paycheck lifestyles really made us feel good that we had our priorities straight.   Also was flippin' hysterical.

Being in the market for a new car soon and financially in a place where going upmarket is something I can now do without too much pain I did actually take a look at a couple of higher end brands, just to see if a Lexus or Infiniti or whatever might actually be something I'd enjoy.   Maybe there's something to it beyond just wealth signaling?   Yeah, definitely some nice things about it, but not nice things that matter to me.  Felt great walking out of the dealership completely confident that "I am not going to spend extra money here because this is not something that will make me happy at all."   

Felt f***ing fantastic.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2020, 10:58:34 AM by Ockhamist »

talltexan

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #33 on: September 21, 2020, 12:56:41 PM »
Fidelity to principles is the key, folks. Biking to my neighbors' house (when a car could have been used) is its own reward.

2sk22

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #34 on: September 21, 2020, 01:38:39 PM »
My father-in-law for many years was quite clear about his disappointment in us that we didn't drive fancy enough cars.  Specifically we were supposed to drive a Cadillac, apparently.  I kind of feel bad about enjoying his annoyance ... it really bothered him, and he clearly was disappointed that his youngest daughter had run off and married some Toyota bum ... but on the other hand, being looked down on financially compared to her sisters and their husbands with their paycheck to paycheck lifestyles really made us feel good that we had our priorities straight.   Also was flippin' hysterical.

Being in the market for a new car soon and financially in a place where going upmarket is something I can now do without too much pain I did actually take a look at a couple of higher end brands, just to see if a Lexus or Infiniti or whatever might actually be something I'd enjoy.   Maybe there's something to it beyond just wealth signaling?   Yeah, definitely some nice things about it, but not nice things that matter to me.  Felt great walking out of the dealership completely confident that "I am not going to spend extra money here because this is not something that will make me happy at all."   

Felt f***ing fantastic.

This is funny - my mother has, on more than one occasion, asked me why we don't have a BMW or Lexus (some of my cousins who I know for sure make a lot less than us all have German luxury cars) :-)

Also, exactly like you, a few years ago, I test drove a Lexus ES350 hybrid and decided that the premium over a Camry Hybrid was just not worth the extra cost.

iris lily

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #35 on: September 21, 2020, 03:22:28 PM »
We were debatably 2-comma people (depends on if you count the house) when we trash-picked a broken dog crate (the fabric kind, not metal) for our then 1 year old to sleep in to prevent her from getting up and destroying the house in the nighttime. She slept in the dog crate for over a year.
-W
Love the solution you came up with. Brilliant!

This is hysterical!

bbqbonelesswing

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #36 on: September 22, 2020, 09:17:30 AM »
My father-in-law for many years was quite clear about his disappointment in us that we didn't drive fancy enough cars.  Specifically we were supposed to drive a Cadillac, apparently.  I kind of feel bad about enjoying his annoyance ... it really bothered him, and he clearly was disappointed that his youngest daughter had run off and married some Toyota bum ... but on the other hand, being looked down on financially compared to her sisters and their husbands with their paycheck to paycheck lifestyles really made us feel good that we had our priorities straight.   Also was flippin' hysterical.

I'm so glad we aren't car people. I drove a 2006 Grand Marquis for like 8 years, just sold it, and now we split a 2012 Camry. BIL and SIL, on the other hand, will drive nothing but Audis. For some reason they are obsessed with the brand. I can only imagine how much they will spend compared to us throughout our lifetimes... probably mid six figures.

talltexan

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #37 on: September 22, 2020, 09:53:22 AM »
I've essentially split the main family car with my wife for the last six months. Have had literally two days where I've needed to use my car to get somewhere because the rest of the family was already there.

It's a good thing I'm not making payments on that second car, or it would be really frustrating.

waltworks

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #38 on: September 22, 2020, 10:05:17 AM »
Man, the MMM forum has gone soft! Cars! Lots of rich people drive shitty cars, that's not worth bragging about. Not having a car at all - maybe.

Every member of our family except the 1 year old (who currently doesn't own one) has a bike worth at least 5x what our car is worth. Other than mountain bike shuttle runs, it pretty much doesn't get driven. Sometimes the battery goes dead from sitting around too long. The kids painted the wheels all different colors. I could go on and on.

-W

bacchi

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #39 on: September 22, 2020, 12:42:03 PM »
Man, the MMM forum has gone soft! Cars! Lots of rich people drive shitty cars, that's not worth bragging about. Not having a car at all - maybe.

Every member of our family except the 1 year old (who currently doesn't own one) has a bike worth at least 5x what our car is worth. Other than mountain bike shuttle runs, it pretty much doesn't get driven. Sometimes the battery goes dead from sitting around too long. The kids painted the wheels all different colors. I could go on and on.

-W

Wha?!? Your bikes are worth 5x the car?

My bike was put out for trash pickup. I brought it home, replaced the rusted chain with a piece of twine, and it gets me from point A to point B. (I end up walking it most of the time but, still, it goes with me.) Even better, I saved money by not buying a lock.

Y'all are a bunch of softies.

Ockhamist

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #40 on: September 22, 2020, 12:54:14 PM »
My father-in-law for many years was quite clear about his disappointment in us that we didn't drive fancy enough cars.  Specifically we were supposed to drive a Cadillac, apparently.  I kind of feel bad about enjoying his annoyance ... it really bothered him, and he clearly was disappointed that his youngest daughter had run off and married some Toyota bum ... but on the other hand, being looked down on financially compared to her sisters and their husbands with their paycheck to paycheck lifestyles really made us feel good that we had our priorities straight.   Also was flippin' hysterical.

Being in the market for a new car soon and financially in a place where going upmarket is something I can now do without too much pain I did actually take a look at a couple of higher end brands, just to see if a Lexus or Infiniti or whatever might actually be something I'd enjoy.   Maybe there's something to it beyond just wealth signaling?   Yeah, definitely some nice things about it, but not nice things that matter to me.  Felt great walking out of the dealership completely confident that "I am not going to spend extra money here because this is not something that will make me happy at all."   

Felt f***ing fantastic.

This is funny - my mother has, on more than one occasion, asked me why we don't have a BMW or Lexus (some of my cousins who I know for sure make a lot less than us all have German luxury cars) :-)

Also, exactly like you, a few years ago, I test drove a Lexus ES350 hybrid and decided that the premium over a Camry Hybrid was just not worth the extra cost.

Yeah, you know, I'm honest, I'll admit that I really like the styling of the Japanese lux marques.   Especially the various Lexi, though I wouldn't kick a QX50 out of the garage for eating crackers either.  But actually looking at it seriously there's just no way the prettiness would be worth what it would cost ... and it feels really, really good to look at something like that and say, yeah, I think it's nice, yeah, I like it I guess, but no, I don't actually want that.   

Half of FI is having the resources to have what you want, the other half is being self-aware and self-true enough to only want what you really want. 

waltworks

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #41 on: September 22, 2020, 12:59:59 PM »
Man, the MMM forum has gone soft! Cars! Lots of rich people drive shitty cars, that's not worth bragging about. Not having a car at all - maybe.

Every member of our family except the 1 year old (who currently doesn't own one) has a bike worth at least 5x what our car is worth. Other than mountain bike shuttle runs, it pretty much doesn't get driven. Sometimes the battery goes dead from sitting around too long. The kids painted the wheels all different colors. I could go on and on.

-W

Wha?!? Your bikes are worth 5x the car?

My bike was put out for trash pickup. I brought it home, replaced the rusted chain with a piece of twine, and it gets me from point A to point B. (I end up walking it most of the time but, still, it goes with me.) Even better, I saved money by not buying a lock.

Y'all are a bunch of softies.

I just walk naked everywhere (mostly to/from where I've buried my $millions of cash/gold/bitcoin jump drives). Bonus: free housing and food courtesy of the government! Stealth wealth FTW!

-W

secondcor521

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #42 on: September 22, 2020, 01:27:17 PM »
Man, the MMM forum has gone soft! Cars! Lots of rich people drive shitty cars, that's not worth bragging about. Not having a car at all - maybe.

Every member of our family except the 1 year old (who currently doesn't own one) has a bike worth at least 5x what our car is worth. Other than mountain bike shuttle runs, it pretty much doesn't get driven. Sometimes the battery goes dead from sitting around too long. The kids painted the wheels all different colors. I could go on and on.

-W

Wha?!? Your bikes are worth 5x the car?

My bike was put out for trash pickup. I brought it home, replaced the rusted chain with a piece of twine, and it gets me from point A to point B. (I end up walking it most of the time but, still, it goes with me.) Even better, I saved money by not buying a lock.

Y'all are a bunch of softies.

I just walk naked everywhere (mostly to/from where I've buried my $millions of cash/gold/bitcoin jump drives). Bonus: free housing and food courtesy of the government! Stealth wealth FTW!

-W

Luxury!

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue7wM0QC5LE about 2:13)

Mr. Boy Millionare

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #43 on: September 24, 2020, 09:58:21 AM »
Until this year I never owned a car and took the bus or subway or train or mostly walked. Just because I have a lot of financial assets doesnít mean Iím too good for the bus.
Or a bike ( :

too scared. Everyone i know who rides a bike has been hit by a car in Brooklyn/Manhattan. See the verb: doored. Although then again almost everyone in my former running club has also been hit by a car haha.

I'm terrified to ride a bike for this reason too. My husband was hit by a car that ran a red light.  He was lucky it was a car and he bounced over the roof and not an SUV that would have gone over him. The resulting damage to his ankle means we will probably have to move when we get older because the cold weather is so painful.

Now he won't pull a trailer with our kids. And he's someone whose life has revolved around bikes- mountain biking, road racing, time trials.  He doesn't think streets are safe. 

(He does still occasionally ride his bike to work, but it's had to phase out with the need to occasionally take the kids to daycare and be available for an emergency pickup.  It scares me every single time.)

I watched a terrible motorcycle accident when I was at a very young age. Never trusted the road again. It is the most dangerous part of most people's lives and they still text, call, eat, and more while commuting every day! I am awarding your Husband some Badassity points for still getting to work by bike after getting hit by a car.

talltexan

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Re: Stealth wealth -- If they only knew (stories)
« Reply #44 on: September 24, 2020, 11:35:20 AM »
Logically, if you believe the commute to work is the most dangerous thing in your, you'd do everything you could to make it short.

Of course, my commute is down to zero for the last 130 work days.