Howdy, folks.
Do you want to get 6 months of the year off, every year, yet still make great money? Do you want an interesting and stimulating job that is intellectual, physical, in an adventurous setting, active, ridiculously fun, and lets you see the world? If you are saying yes, then read on.
Become a merchant mariner.
Let me tell you about what it is that I do. I'm a marine engineer. We are the hardy, swarthy, resourceful bad ass engine side of merchant mariners. My title is Second Assistant Engineer. Google it. I work on a 800' ship. That’s big. In the simplest of terms, my crew of three and I operate, maintain, and repair the 54MW power plant and all the associated auxiliaries that run this beast. I run, spruce up, and fix great big stuff. It’s awesome.
There is another side of merchant mariners. The deck side… the Mates. They are the soft, pink, panicky not-so-bad ass side of merchant mariners. They drive the boat and spend lots of time shopping for things like shoes, watches, and embarrassing cars. I can write this about them because not one of them would be caught dead reading a forum such as this. They prefer sites like
www.howcaniwastemymoneyonabunchofdumbshit.com.
So, if you’re still reading, you must be interested in being a hale member of the Engine Department. Fortunately, I can help you out there. First, to become a successful marine engineer, you must come from a background of having worked on shit with your hands since the day you were born. You have to live, eat, and breathe it. You have to love it, because for an average of 6 months of the year, 7 days a week of that time, 12-24 hours a day, that's
all you do. All you do it work your ass off. In your free time, which can amount to 3-4 hours every day, the good ones get better. They become better thinkers, people, guitar players, whatever. The bad ones watch movies and pass out. That’s mostly the Mates.
You see, it my line of work, when you go to work, you stay there. I work 3-4 weeks. Some folks work 10 months. But, in general, whatever time you work out to sea, you get that time at home. Doing whatever you want. No work. The only work you’re required to do is to comb the aromas of Indian spices, African grasslands, Korean Kimchi, and the open ocean out of your massive, world girdling ‘stache. Or, just leave ‘em in there. That kimchi grows on ya. I promise.
So, here's why I say it's the most Mustachian job, perhaps ever. We are often several thousand miles from the nearest land. When something breaks at that point, there is no “running to the store” or “ordering it next day from Amazon” or “crying into your locally sourced LL Bean pillow”. You buck up, get to work, and fucking figure it out. No parts? You make new ones. We weld, braze, solder, machine, woodwork, and splice. We do electrical, electronics, IT, mechanical, hydraulics, air conditioning, water production, plumbing, heating. You get it. We do it all.
So, that is the people we hire. Ultra-competent bad asses. Proficient, efficient, creative, stubborn, never-say-die bad asses.
Here’s the other reason it is Mustachian: you make money. Good money. If you’re not a dumbass, like the Mates, then you retire in a hurry. I know a guy who went out for five years
straight, got his Chief’s license, worked another two years and retired. Done.
Did this pique your interest? If so, PM me and I’ll get you pointed in the right direction. Oh ya. You don't have to have a degree. You can become a hawsepiper... and there is nothing more salty, revered, and feared in the industry than a hawsepiper.
PFHC, out.
PS - No, I’m not in the Navy. No, I’m not in the military.