I think a few here can relate to having a non-mustachian spouse. My DH was ok with saving and investing, but he makes a lot and spends a lot too. I think I turned him off with my new-found zeal for MMM, and he began to resent it anytime I said, "You know, I just read on Mr. Money Mustache that..." But still, he supported me when I cut the satellite tv, refinanced the mortgage, and paid off debt like a mad woman.
DH just got a new job in a new state and a 40% raise. We found out that our home we are selling has increased 100K in value in the last year, and DH started looking at similar priced homes in the new state. I was hoping to downsize and downgrade our new home and pay off the mortgage to be completely debt free. DH was looking at homes overlooking golf courses and private pools. The other day, he started showing me houses in a price range that I could stomach. And he told me he wants to be sure we can live off half our salary. And he said he can picture in a few years wanting to do something else (semi-retire)!
I can't believe the change! It's amazing to start to agree on our financial goals!! I still have to tip-toe around the subject of MMM, but I think he'll eventually get there as well. There is hope!!!
Congratulations! I bet you're even more in love now. When you feel like you're both pulling toward the same goals, and you both have your eyes on the prize, and the process is part of the fun, I'll bet it feeds an upward spiral of love, love, love. I'm sure you and your husband are well on your way to your goals. Mazel Tov.
If I'd stayed with my ex, I think we'd be FIRE'd by now. Oh well. Too bad. No sense crying over spilt milk.
Now, I have a boyfriend who is semi-Mustachian. He doesn't have any debt, and he doesn't buy stuff for himself. He has so few clothes he doesn't even use a dresser -- the nightstand holds all his clothes. He has very few needs or desires for himself. His history is that he spends whatever he earns on other people, and his ex-wife pretty much spent what he brought in. Now, he spends on taking me and his adult kids and their spouses out to eat, to events, activities and trips. He has something like $30k in an IRA (he's 53).
Before meeting me, his idea of retirement was sitting around on a rocking chair, so he just figured on working till he keeled over. Now that I've explained my idea of ER/FI, he is supportive of my goals for us. If he never starts saving more of his money, that's okay. As long as he understands what *my* money is for, we're good. I would be fine with being the one to supply the means to stop working and start enjoying more free time and travel. He would probably work on a contract basis to supply his desires to keep us eating out and doing more spendy things here and there.
As long as we keep our money separate, this kind of arrangement would work for me. But he also shows signs of "getting it", so I'm hoping he ends up pitching in more toward joint FI as time goes on.