Found peace & joy where I am

[Carrie]

I feel like this is badass because I tend to day dream way too often about moving somewhere else.

I have made a point to notice all the great, good, and nice things about where we live. I've been basically keeping a log of all the pros and choosing to reframe or ignore the cons.

I've made efforts to become a better neighbor and better friend to those nearby, alleviating feeling lonely. Now I have a network of people to hang out with - a text and no more than a 0.5 mile walk away.

We've done a few small things to really increase joy - hung a couple of hammocks in the beautiful shade, planted an herb garden. Painted the bathroom my favorite wall color. Made new pillows for my sofa and replaced the dining room light fixture inexpensively. 

Our house is starting to feel cramped, with 5 people, home office & studio. I was recently dreaming of more square footage to accommodate the work-from-home bit better, but realized some rearranging or, as last resort,  renting cheap co-office space would be better than all the costs a larger house would bring.

A gratitude mindset has saved at least $100,000 and has us hitting our FIRE goal sooner.

[Dee]

That is great - thanks for sharing!

[Beach_Stache]

Great mindset, thanks very important!  I think you can get different things no matter where you are, in the city/mountains/beach/midwest, you just need to make the most of your friends, family, surroundings.  There are a lot of people that long for something different but it's the same story no matter where you go, you always want a roof over your head, stuff to do and friends and family. 

[onemorebike]

Perspective is everything! There are things to be grateful for everywhere.

Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk

[TheWifeHalf]

As the plaque in my sunroom says:

Bloom where you are planted

[finallyfrugal]

I love this! I sometimes feel constantly bombarded with "MORE BETTER FASTER MORE!" That thinking seems to be everywhere. Learning to love what you have is priceless.

Thanks for sharing this.

[Carrie]

Thank you all for reading my post and responding.

I'm content, and I can tell that this feeling is becoming a habit. Even though we're not FIRE yet we are to the point where the stress is gone because we're well on our way. 

Each day is a gift, and this positive outlook is life altering. We're not heading towards FIRE because of a hate of a job or an escape from career hell, but because we need little to be happy. It's only natural that if you need 30% of your income to live contentedly, FIRE is coming!

[Cubert]

I can definitely appreciate this, having recently posted about "where you should live" on my blog.

We would still keep a small house, but I'm pining for longer seasons and geographic features of interest. Like, oh, Colorado???

[Cali]

Well done! One of the funniest things to me about those "getting ready to sell" home shows is after people have some small but significant changes made to their current set-up they're so happy you can tell they don't really want to move anymore.

You're saving a fortune and feeling less isolated. Winning all around.

[HAPPYINAZ]

Outstanding!  Way to change your mindset to improve your happiness and make the world a better place by reaching out to those near you.  Thanks for sharing your mindshift!

[Carrie]

Well done! One of the funniest things to me about those "getting ready to sell" home shows is after people have some small but significant changes made to their current set-up they're so happy you can tell they don't really want to move anymore.

You're saving a fortune and feeling less isolated. Winning all around.

That's the list we are working through now - diy what we can- things that the realtor suggested (fresh coat of paint, flooring changes, countertops), but then just stay. I've been shopping second hand and bartering for new-to-us home furnishings to pull the place together and style it to my liking. Frugal sourcing is so fun! Just this weekend I put word out to the neighborhood gardening club and got some free irises, then visited an old friend and was given a really nice rug (new wife didn't care for the colors). 

All the home projects are also a great couple hobby - my DH & I are having so much fun building things for our home and doing our own repairs.

[joonifloofeefloo]

Carrie, I enjoyed your post so much I pointed people to it from my journal :)

Thanks for sharing this with us. It is indeed very, very cool.

[Carrie]

Thank you, @jooniFLORisploo  - I appreciate the shout out.

Being present instead of wishing away the now for the future is hard to do, but worth it. Just slowing down and noticing beauty, making new friends - even if it stays in acquaintance zone- is life changing.

[MsGuided]

Great perspective reminder, Carrie!  Not sure how long you've been where you are, but it sounds like the friendships and connections nearby are relatively new.  What did you do to foster those relationships?  I'm pretty happy where we live, but don't have close connections with neighbors currently.  Would love some suggestions.

[Carrie]

We've been here in this house/neighborhood /town for just over a decade but have only recently put in more effort with friendships with neighbors.  (Partly because weve had a big influx of families into our neighborhood more recently.) I met one friend through kid's preschool, one I walked up and introduced myself to (they'd just moved in), one my kid noticed a new kid on the bus & exchanged numbers. Another few I met at the playground /pool. I've overcome anxiety and decided if I hit it off in a good conversation, I'll  exchange numbers & invite for coffee brunch. I've hosted in my house twice for coffee, and had several families over for dinner.

I think it's good to touch base every so often and to be open to different levels of friendship. Not everyone is going to be my best friend and that's ok!!

[EmFrugal]

I also really appreciate and can relate to this post. We live in a really nice community but are in a townhome and on a busy street. I've realized that I need to let go of certain dreams, like the big SFH. I would rather have a nice networth and freedom than be house poor, which is easy in our HCOL area. If I focus on the positives... Amazing community of smart and cool neighbors, tons of kids for mine to play with right out our back door, excellent public school system, and quiet bedrooms and family room (just the front rooms are loud from street noise), then I'm much happier. And I agree that connecting with people and making different levels of friendships is so important.

[expatartist]

As the plaque in my sunroom says:

Bloom where you are planted

TheWifeHalf this is beautiful. I need to stick this on my front door.

OP, thanks for posting this, and how you are achieving it. It's something I'm struggling with right now.

[Serendip]

This is such a worthwhile reminder...the badassity of gratitude.

I've been reading all these adventure & exploration books, then realized a personal project could be called "A Year at Home", since I am having such a good-time exploring my neighbourhood..
Thanks for the reminder @Carrie
:)

[Carrie]

OP, thanks for posting this, and how you are achieving it. It's something I'm struggling with right now.

It has taken a while for me to get to this point, and some days I have to remind myself again that peace>just about everything else.
I never imagined owning & enjoying a house in suburbia. I never imagined feeling settled in this particular spot/community, state. But here I am and I am content.

Pros I'm recognizing today: I love the orientation of my house. The majority of the windows face southeast. I get beautiful morning and midday sun, which really starts the day nicely. From my favorite spot on the sofa, out the front window I see shades of green (shrubs, trees, trees beyond) turn my head and see dappled shade and greenery out the back window. (I'm ignoring the bit of grey roof of the neighbor that I see a glimpse of through the leaves.)