Author Topic: Got Rid of Nearly Everything  (Read 12783 times)

Chris Pascale

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Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« on: December 22, 2020, 04:28:35 PM »
After sharing my house-selling details last month I wrote up some of the details for a friend, and it led to us having a discussion that turned into this piece for the Grumpus Blog.

https://grumpusmaximus.com/worth-your-life/

Hope it helps anyone thinking of making some changes, though the truth is that this community was part of what got me here.
« Last Edit: December 25, 2020, 07:37:39 PM by Chris Pascale »

Dicey

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2021, 08:14:51 PM »
Loved the article. Small quibble: After a career in sales, I'm positive the saying is "10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag." It's one of my favorites.

Car Jack

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2021, 07:49:28 AM »
Good article to make you think.  In the last few years, as dishes get broken or my kids end up with stacks of them in their rooms, I find that there are none in the size I need in the cabinet. What did I do?  I went to that china cabinet and grabbed one.  I find that I'm doing that more and more.  I mean what the heck.  I own those dishes and they still work.  It's not like I need to replace the dish fluid or install new dish brake pads every 20 years.  In going through boxes in our basement.....some left over from our last move in 1992, I'm, finding stuff we can use.  An unopened box of forks.  A couple matching dishes to those that used to reside in the cabinets and are now likely under a pile of dirty kid laundry next to the gaming setup.  Out of the box and up to the dish washer.

I also realized that I need to get myself into "give away" mode.  I know legos bring money on the interwebs but I ain't got time for that.  I know a forum of collectors/users and have decided I'm going to put together a 20 pound box and offer them for the price of shipping.

chemistk

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #3 on: January 19, 2021, 08:15:22 AM »
Nice article!

Right now, having young kids, it's really hard to pare stuff down. We have bins full of clothes for all seasons (3 boys) that won't be gone until we have #4 (if we decide to do so). Same with age-appropriate toys. As much as I'd like to freecycle them, it's hard to find the stuff my kids really like to play with without spending a lot of $.

But more to the point of the article, it really got me thinking - it's just awful that as a society (at least in the US), we don't have many great ways to 'properly' dispose of stuff, especially when it's so damn easy to acquire stuff. I know plenty of people who are just glad to throw everything in the garbage but it just seems so wrong to do so. And yet, if I want to, say, get rid of a broken TV (kids like to throw shit at TV's)- I have to drive myself 10 miles/20 minutes to the county waste collection site, which also only happens to be open when I'm working and for 4 hours on a Saturday.

I think this is why most people have so much stuff. It just comes in, and then never leaves because we don't know what to do with it all. Purging it feels like being a contestant on the "Biggest Loser" - during a purge, it's really easy to get rid of stuff that's long sat around because you've dedicated mental energy and time to the task at hand, but slowly it all starts to come back without even thinking about it - keeping the junk away is almost a lifelong task, something that you must commit to and not let slip.

I know plenty on this forum have an easier time keeping things away (as in the OP's article, living in a small space is an easy shield), but for the average person in this country, it's probably not something so easily accomplished.

Chris Pascale

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #4 on: January 19, 2021, 12:31:43 PM »
Loved the article. Small quibble: After a career in sales, I'm positive the saying is "10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag." It's one of my favorites.

Oh, sonuvabitch! How could I screw that up?

Thank you, kind sir!
« Last Edit: January 20, 2021, 06:09:24 PM by Chris Pascale »

Chris Pascale

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #5 on: January 19, 2021, 12:41:57 PM »
Nice article!

Right now, having young kids, it's really hard to pare stuff down. We have bins full of clothes for all seasons (3 boys) that won't be gone until we have #4 (if we decide to do so). Same with age-appropriate toys. As much as I'd like to freecycle them, it's hard to find the stuff my kids really like to play with without spending a lot of $.

But more to the point of the article, it really got me thinking - it's just awful that as a society (at least in the US), we don't have many great ways to 'properly' dispose of stuff, especially when it's so damn easy to acquire stuff. I know plenty of people who are just glad to throw everything in the garbage but it just seems so wrong to do so. And yet, if I want to, say, get rid of a broken TV (kids like to throw shit at TV's)- I have to drive myself 10 miles/20 minutes to the county waste collection site, which also only happens to be open when I'm working and for 4 hours on a Saturday.

I think this is why most people have so much stuff. It just comes in, and then never leaves because we don't know what to do with it all. Purging it feels like being a contestant on the "Biggest Loser" - during a purge, it's really easy to get rid of stuff that's long sat around because you've dedicated mental energy and time to the task at hand, but slowly it all starts to come back without even thinking about it - keeping the junk away is almost a lifelong task, something that you must commit to and not let slip.

I know plenty on this forum have an easier time keeping things away (as in the OP's article, living in a small space is an easy shield), but for the average person in this country, it's probably not something so easily accomplished.

You bring up some good points. Now that my youngest is 9, I'm finding that I can get rid of stuff more easily. For example, her jeans were too tight today, and as I was picking out one pair, then another, I was thinking, wow, someone's gonna get some good jeans because they're like new.

The move really opened our eyes because our cellar was completely full, and as we emptied it out my wife said to me, why did I buy all of that stuff?" I figured we needed it at some point, and some of it was given to us, but she had a lot of regrets, seeing it all as money spent on stuff we didn't really need.

There was a closet tucked away at the top of our steps and it had a lot of art supplies that were in their original packaging. We had board games still in the shrink wrap. how does that even happen?

As it stands, I do think we'll be in a bigger home before the year is out, but I'm looking forward to living with less junk.

Dicey

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2021, 08:29:12 PM »
Loved the article. Small quibble: After a career in sales, I'm positive the saying is "10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag." It's one of my favorites.

Oh, sonuvafbitch! How could I screw that up?

Thank you, kind sir!
Haha, thank you "madam". I spoke to one of my former colleagues today and mentioned this phrase and we both got a good laugh over the mix-up. Shoving five pounds of shit into a ten pound sack would be a piece of cake!

cool7hand

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2021, 05:01:45 AM »
Impressive. Most impressive.

bacchi

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #8 on: January 21, 2021, 08:46:02 AM »
Nicely written article, Chris Pascale.

Chris Pascale

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #9 on: January 21, 2021, 06:47:27 PM »
Hey, everyone, thanks for reading.

This was one of those pieces I spent a few weeks on after really mulling it over. While writing it, I was like, yes, this is very good, and then when I hit send, I was like, I'm such a schmuck.

Poeirenta

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #10 on: January 22, 2021, 10:10:27 AM »
This resonated with me. We recently lost 3 outbuildings to a wildfire here at the ranch, mostly tools, and extra furniture in the guest cabin. As we pondered a replacement building, we had an a-ha moment...we don't need most of that stuff anymore! Many of the tools were acquired remodeling our old house and then building this one. Insurance payout will be used for some of the things we do need, like a new brush cutter, chainsaw, etc. The rest can go in our IRAs. And we can build a smaller replacement shed.

House survived, as we designed it to, but it got a hell of a test. Thankful since it holds the most important stuff, like art we've collected on trips. We built it small (920 sq ft + some attic) partly to ensure we didn't collect too much crap!

Sent from my Z5157V using Tapatalk


jeninco

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #11 on: January 22, 2021, 08:25:58 PM »
Great article -- thanks for linking! I strongly agree with your point about thinking carefully about your choices and priorities.

We've been trying to be more mindful about our full lifecycle obligations for stuff that we buy -- our recycling center takes unusable computer equipment and recycles it, but it's expensive (I think 70 cents/lb).  Lots of things are easy to donate or give away, but electronics are their own special hell to get rid of responsibly.

I actually agree with you, but I want to point out that it's really easy to make fun of designer handbags and shoes, but ... it's kind of an easy target to make fun of fancy women's stuff (and there are situations where women sort of need to be dressed in a certain way, although not necessarily with Dior handbags, etc.). Maybe you could also mock some guy things, in the same paragraph? Monster trucks for people who never actually drive off-road? Tricked out mountain bikes for people who don't do technical riding?

Weisass

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #12 on: January 22, 2021, 09:37:48 PM »

I actually agree with you, but I want to point out that it's really easy to make fun of designer handbags and shoes, but ... it's kind of an easy target to make fun of fancy women's stuff (and there are situations where women sort of need to be dressed in a certain way, although not necessarily with Dior handbags, etc.). Maybe you could also mock some guy things, in the same paragraph? Monster trucks for people who never actually drive off-road? Tricked out mountain bikes for people who don't do technical riding?

Cosign. Not a bag person, or a shoe person, but this kind of knockdown is tired.

Eucalyptus

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #13 on: January 23, 2021, 03:46:33 AM »
Dude, this is on point! I love your writing!


Just what I needed to read really, bit more oomph to get rid of a few more things. I'm already fairly minimalist (my young daughter and I live in a single bedroom unit, that I put a wall and door in to make two bedroom), and always trying to simplify. But every now and then you forget or stray a bit.


Incidentally the other day I gave away two excellent cases of 2015 wine! I decided that, I just don't drink enough to justify storing it. I never drink at home, and, rarely out of it. If I ever find myself needing a bottle to take to a dinner party, I'll just go buy one (I'm blessed being in South Australia, home to the Barossa Valley, Clare Valley, McLaren Vale...)...not hard to find something thats nice for $20 there and then. Maybe this will be twice a year as I age further into my late 30's?

tawyer

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #14 on: January 23, 2021, 10:18:46 AM »
Great article. Indeed, cost isn't just money: it's time and energy, both mental and physical, all of which are finite. This was a good pep talk to prime me with the right mindset for our annual household purge. If I didn't have it and wouldn't buy it for a dollar, why would I keep it?

I own those dishes and they still work.  It's not like I need to replace the dish fluid or install new dish brake pads every 20 years.
@Car Jack thanks for making me laugh out loud with this!

Rosy

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #15 on: January 23, 2021, 10:59:16 AM »
Good article.
Like someone mentioned, it gave me a push for early spring cleaning which includes my annual purge.

okisok

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #16 on: February 02, 2021, 08:26:00 PM »

I actually agree with you, but I want to point out that it's really easy to make fun of designer handbags and shoes, but ... it's kind of an easy target to make fun of fancy women's stuff (and there are situations where women sort of need to be dressed in a certain way, although not necessarily with Dior handbags, etc.). Maybe you could also mock some guy things, in the same paragraph? Monster trucks for people who never actually drive off-road? Tricked out mountain bikes for people who don't do technical riding?

Cosign. Not a bag person, or a shoe person, but this kind of knockdown is tired.

He didn't actually write that it was *women's* Gucci shoes or designer bags. I believe Gucci makes shoes and bags for either sex. Anyone can have too many accessories that cost too much money to the detriment of other, more important, things.

Missy B

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #17 on: February 25, 2021, 02:15:19 PM »

Since people are talking about divesting themselves of things they don't need I wanted to mention -- consider joining the Buy Nothing Facebook group in your area.
https://buynothingproject.org/find-a-group/

These are local, even micro-local groups where people donate to their neighbors with the greater goal of creating a supportive community that shares resources well.
I joined mine a couple of months ago and the vibe is very, very different than the free pages on craiglist or some of the other free sites I've been on. Mostly people post items, but you can also posts asks for things to have or borrow.

Mine is micro-local, because I'm in a dense neighborhood. I think we're about 8 blocks square, fully walkable, and our page is very active. It is the most genuinely warm and kind Facebook page I belong to. A lot of local people have met and become friends because they were exchanging items.
 

Chris Pascale

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #18 on: March 10, 2021, 12:40:17 PM »
Dude, this is on point! I love your writing!


Just what I needed to read really, bit more oomph to get rid of a few more things. I'm already fairly minimalist (my young daughter and I live in a single bedroom unit, that I put a wall and door in to make two bedroom), and always trying to simplify. But every now and then you forget or stray a bit.


Incidentally the other day I gave away two excellent cases of 2015 wine! I decided that, I just don't drink enough to justify storing it. I never drink at home, and, rarely out of it. If I ever find myself needing a bottle to take to a dinner party, I'll just go buy one (I'm blessed being in South Australia, home to the Barossa Valley, Clare Valley, McLaren Vale...)...not hard to find something thats nice for $20 there and then. Maybe this will be twice a year as I age further into my late 30's?

Sorry for the late reply. Thanks so much.

Grumpus said he thinks it's the best thing I've written since my book*, which meant a lot to me because this was one of those pieces that I really felt good about writing, but once I hit send I had a sense of dread that slid from what if it's terrible? to I'm probably so stupid that I can't even tell.

*I can send you a copy - pdf or hard copy - if you're interested

Chris Pascale

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #19 on: March 10, 2021, 12:49:23 PM »

I actually agree with you, but I want to point out that it's really easy to make fun of designer handbags and shoes, but ... it's kind of an easy target to make fun of fancy women's stuff (and there are situations where women sort of need to be dressed in a certain way, although not necessarily with Dior handbags, etc.). Maybe you could also mock some guy things, in the same paragraph? Monster trucks for people who never actually drive off-road? Tricked out mountain bikes for people who don't do technical riding?

Cosign. Not a bag person, or a shoe person, but this kind of knockdown is tired.

Hey @Weisass and @jeninco, with the pop-out emboldened line "your bag is just a bag" I can see the knock of women be shopping.

I also noted Berlutti Scrittos, which are men's shoes, as well as glassware/china, cars, etc, but I see your take.

My experience is that men buy just as much crap as women, but sometimes fool themselves into thinking they are investments, like suits for work, or first edition something-or-others.

Weisass

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #20 on: March 10, 2021, 06:22:31 PM »
lol. I mean, sure. the men I work around will use any excuse to buy a new tech toy. But I know women who do that too. I personally find writing interesting that is able to say something real without playing on old, worn out tropes. All this to say, keep at it, and thanks for listening.

jeninco

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #21 on: March 11, 2021, 01:02:05 PM »
lol. I mean, sure. the men I work around will use any excuse to buy a new tech toy. But I know women who do that too. I personally find writing interesting that is able to say something real without playing on old, worn out tropes. All this to say, keep at it, and thanks for listening.


also dropping in to say thanks -- I like your content, and would like to see more.
Also, I am so out of it that  I wouldn't necessarily recognize brand names for much. MPP, I guess :^)

Now I need to take a little time to re-declutter ... basically our entire household. Wonder if I can figure out what to do with an old mattress?

Weisass

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #22 on: March 12, 2021, 05:42:43 AM »

also dropping in to say thanks -- I like your content, and would like to see more.
Also, I am so out of it that  I wouldn't necessarily recognize brand names for much. MPP, I guess :^)

Now I need to take a little time to re-declutter ... basically our entire household. Wonder if I can figure out what to do with an old mattress?

Good luck! Our buy nothing group often has takers for stuff like that if it is isn’t really worn out.

Maenad

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #23 on: March 21, 2021, 11:50:41 AM »
... then when I hit send, I was like, I'm such a schmuck.

Yeah, but you're our schmuck. ;-)

Enjoyable article, nice and thought-provoking, loved the Robot-Overlords-strangling-you-with-your-old-cables digression.

Chris Pascale

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #24 on: April 09, 2021, 08:35:47 AM »
... then when I hit send, I was like, I'm such a schmuck.

Yeah, but you're our schmuck. ;-)

Enjoyable article, nice and thought-provoking, loved the Robot-Overlords-strangling-you-with-your-old-cables digression.

Thanks! Just being able to belong somewhere is so nice.

lazycow

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #25 on: April 09, 2021, 04:55:44 PM »
OOooh I have read this before. (Can't remember which website linked it). Excellent article, and it bears rereading!

After clearing out my parents' house full of so many unused 'good' plates, glasses, towels, etc I vowed to just use everything and not keep stuff for good. I serve my girlfriends tea out of expensive china cups because that is what it was made for, not to sit on a shelf and collect dust.

MarciaB

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #26 on: April 14, 2021, 06:12:03 PM »

Since people are talking about divesting themselves of things they don't need I wanted to mention -- consider joining the Buy Nothing Facebook group in your area.
https://buynothingproject.org/find-a-group/

These are local, even micro-local groups where people donate to their neighbors with the greater goal of creating a supportive community that shares resources well.
I joined mine a couple of months ago and the vibe is very, very different than the free pages on craiglist or some of the other free sites I've been on. Mostly people post items, but you can also posts asks for things to have or borrow.

Mine is micro-local, because I'm in a dense neighborhood. I think we're about 8 blocks square, fully walkable, and our page is very active. It is the most genuinely warm and kind Facebook page I belong to. A lot of local people have met and become friends because they were exchanging items.

I was on a walk in my neighborhood this weekend and there was a garage sale going on and everything was free. The woman was a member of the Buy Nothing group and there were free-garage-sales going on all over the place that day. Her group had decided to just put out tables and load them with stuff that needed new homes. Easier than donating to a thrift store! Her only worry was that someone might try to make off with the card tables all that stuff was piled onto...

crowinghen

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #27 on: April 15, 2021, 08:06:11 AM »
We were at the transfer station getting rid of some garbage, and I couldn't believe the stuff people were throwing away! Perfectly good bikes, dressers, couches. Why? when you could give it away?
 Hubby and I often comment that you never want to get anything from us, because we  use all available life out of our stuff, and when we are done with it it is really DONE. I am also a fan of the local Buy nothing FB page.

9patch

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #28 on: April 15, 2021, 11:19:49 AM »
Cool article, thanks!

Chris Pascale

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #29 on: July 20, 2021, 09:47:01 PM »
OOooh I have read this before. (Can't remember which website linked it). Excellent article, and it bears rereading!

After clearing out my parents' house full of so many unused 'good' plates, glasses, towels, etc I vowed to just use everything and not keep stuff for good. I serve my girlfriends tea out of expensive china cups because that is what it was made for, not to sit on a shelf and collect dust.

Glad you're using those china cups. You are honoring the people who dug up the materials, made, packaged and transported them, then sold the goods.

It's not about having things, or not having them, but optimizing them, whether or not they are nice. For example, if you buy a new Porsche, make sure it's being treated like a car - it's not too good for a trip to McDonald's (you might be, but a Porsche isn't).

Chris Pascale

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #30 on: December 08, 2021, 11:15:15 PM »
Just got a note from my friend, Grumpus. Despite only being a year old, this piece is about the most popular on his site.

Wanted to thank everyone for reading and sharing, because I'm sure it's because of this community that that happened.

Virtus3

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #31 on: December 09, 2021, 06:39:57 AM »
Great article Chris! No surprise that it's as popular as it is as I can't think of a single person I know who wouldn't find it at least somewhat relevant.

Chris Pascale

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #32 on: December 17, 2021, 08:00:46 PM »
Thanks. Total views are just 3k, but for a niche site it's really something.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #33 on: December 19, 2021, 03:32:57 AM »
Quote from the article:

If you’re too stressed about money, your sex life is not as good. It affects 1 in 3 men, meaning that if you look to your left, then your right, you’ve just seen two guys who aren’t delivering the goods.

Something wrong with the counting of this example.

Otherwise, the article is true in many ways.

Morning Glory

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #34 on: December 19, 2021, 08:32:49 AM »
Quote from the article:

If you’re too stressed about money, your sex life is not as good. It affects 1 in 3 men, meaning that if you look to your left, then your right, you’ve just seen two guys who aren’t delivering the goods.

Something wrong with the counting of this example.

Otherwise, the article is true in many ways.

Lol yes! Good article otherwise.  I cam relate to the feeling of being owned by house and possessions.  So freeing to get rid of it all.

Virtus3

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #35 on: December 22, 2021, 08:49:33 AM »
Regularly visiting this forum and reading posts like these has really inspired me to get more serious on cutting down on possessions. I've got two young kids so we're not going to be minimalists any time soon but I've started listing a lot of my stuff I don't use anymore on FB Marketplace and investing the proceeds.

Chris Pascale

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Re: Got Rid of Nearly Everything
« Reply #36 on: December 28, 2021, 09:43:34 PM »
Regularly visiting this forum and reading posts like these has really inspired me to get more serious on cutting down on possessions. I've got two young kids so we're not going to be minimalists any time soon but I've started listing a lot of my stuff I don't use anymore on FB Marketplace and investing the proceeds.

I rode the sense of relief I felt for something like 6 months. The burden of all the stuff we keep has a real weight. And we carry it.