First I'll start with a confession: I have an iPhone on Verizon Wireless. So yes, the most expensive smartphone on the most expensive carrier.
We've been looking at switching for a while, but my wife told me I'd have to pry the iPhone out of her cold, dead hands. So I looked into who I could bring an unlocked Verizon iPhone to that would cost less. I found that Boost Mobile had a reasonably good deal, and convinced her to switch.
Minor problem - Boost Mobile requires you to go to a physical store to port an iPhone, or at least claims as much on their website. We live in Chicago, and most of the stores near us were in fairly rough areas. But I convince my wife that we should go as a family to the one near where I volunteer on Friday evening, and then take the kiddo out for dinner afterwards at a (very inexpensive) soul food restaurant. So all three of us head over to Boost Mobile on the west side.
We arrive, and the sales associate begins the process of porting our phones and numbers over. My phone and number both transfer no problem, but there is a problem transferring my wife's phone to Boost. They ask us a million times if we're SURE it's paid off, are we SURE it's unlocked, etc. We assure them everything is on the up and up, and it should transfer. By now we've been in the store for about 15 minutes and probably 12 "customers" have come and gone, and all but one handed cash over the counter and got a black plastic bag in return. So yeah, I'm in a sketchy part of town with my wife and toddler (and as a side note, I am also 8 months pregnant), my phone is already transferred to Boost Mobile, and it's extremely clear that we are standing in the middle of ongoing drug dealing. I begin to panic because I have no exit plan. A second associate helpfully tells us he "knows a guy" who would trade us a phone that will work on Boost for my wife's iPhone. I'm like "uh, I think maybe we won't do this right now" and have him cancel everything. In the hurry to flee, it escapes my attention that Verizon has sent me a text telling me my phone number has been successfully ported off their network. Which means my phone number now lives at Boost, but I have no account with Boost since I never set it up.
At dinner I realize what has happened and that my phone number is now in total limbo. I try calling Boost to get the account number to port back, and they won't give it to me because I have a "balance due on my account". I'm like "I don't even have an account!" This goes on for...a while. I am stuck in an infinite loop where Boost insists I must pay for service to be eligible to port my number out. There is no way I am going to pay them, and I end up talking to 8 or 9 different people in an attempt to get to a manager who had decision making abilities. Finally they agree that I do have to pay, but they will refund my money as soon as I cancel service as long as I haven't actually used the service. I agree, pay the $35, and get the info I need to port back to Verizon.
But here's the punchline: I call Verizon to port back and they're like "we're so excited you're coming back to us, you are eligible for a $200 credit for switching back!" So we'll get a couple months of service free, at which point I will switch my phone to something less expensive. I've lost all credibility with the wife, so I suspect she'll be keeping her ridiculous face punch worthy phone plan.
TLDR: I tried to switch my phone plan, ended up in the middle of a series of drug deals, Boost Mobile stole my phone number and held it for ransom, and in the end Verizon gave me $200.
Face punches gladly accepted for multiple aspects of this story.